Crimson
-Maya Salsa-
- I -
Agonized
- I -
Her eyes scanned the empty glass that her slender fingers clung to. A quick swirl followed up, tilting its fine, glass rimmed edge to her strawberry coloured awaiting lips. Sipping the remaining tiny amount of liquid, she concentrated herself in some thought, eyes eased closed as she did so. That thought just made her... sick. A blur appeared in the midst of her thinking, and slowly, an image came up.
It was an image of him.
Why won't he leave her mind? Her efforts of forgetting him was a complete failure. Every time her eyes closed, a painting of his face was already there, as if it was where it belonged. Truthfully enough, she couldn't even blame herself. She did loved him.
Yes, loved.
After seconds of swallowing the fine alcohol, she shifted her head, opening up her eyes. As she did, a man gazed at her, a smile plastered on his wrinkly face. She remembered that she was at the bar, and so, she clutched onto her shoulder bag and dug for something in exchange of what she had drank. Lips were curved up and a satisfied look was on her fine looking face. Her hands slid over to the granite counter top.
Snapping her fingers, she called out. "Thank you."
The bartender returned politely, a gesturing bow, he said. "Be safe, miss."
She stood and paused for a minute, allowing herself to regain her sense of balance. So the wine did the trick after all. Tugging at her sleek, crimson dress, she finally pulled off her elegance and scurried her way over the exit.
A tingling sensation rolled over her spine at the minute her skin was exposed outside. She expected the night to be cold, but not that brumal. Damn. She had been dramatically avoiding him, making her forget to bring a coat. Everything was his... fault. It was his fault she was drunk at three in the morning. It was his fault that she was going to get sick for forgetting her damned jacket. It was his fault she was ruined.
No wonder he was always away. He was already having an affair. If her luck was any better, she wouldn't picture it in this scenario. The woman he cheated with was someone she knew. It was someone she knew very, very, well...
"Annie," her eyes glowed dark as the name rolled on her tongue. "I'm so sorry, Mikasa! I—I really wanted your relationship with Eren to work out!"
The sanity of her smooth, even, pale skin stayed still, eyebrows deeply furrowed and an expression full of fury came up on Mikasa's face. She had never seen her friend like this. Sasha was always... so down-up and go happy, she was never the type to break down and cry. Something was odd, and she didn't like what she was feeling.
Stuttering, she pulled off a question with a stoic look. "Wh—what the heck are you talking about, Sasha? Wh—what about Eren and I? —And Annie?"
"I— saw them! They were just— Oh,Mikasa! I really didn't `wanna do this but... I don't want to get yourself hurt either—"
"—Wait, slow down, Sasha." Mikasa grabbed her friend's hands, feeling the tensed, shaking arms beneath her own skin." What do you mean by them? Wh— I'm so confused."
"Eren and... Annie," Sasha shuddered as she said the girl's name once more.
Her eyebrows sinking to the lowest possible selectivity, Mikasa asked seriously."Yes? What about them?"
Sasha's breath stopped; Mikasa had noticed. It was then when a handful of air that Sasha breathed that alerted Mikasa. The words she was about to hear would change her life, forever.
...
"Eren's cheating on you!"
Automatically, Mikasa's face formed a disturbed look, bewildered by her friend's words. "What?"
"H—He's cheating on you with... Annie!"
That very moment, everything just stopped. Mikasa's knees buckled by the impact of Sasha's words, causing her to drop on her knees.Thinking that this was all an ugly nightmare, she deliberately shook her head, convincing herself that she would just wake up, and forget about this hideous situation.
No. That can't be true. That was a lie! This was all a lie! There was no way that any of this could be true! Eren would never do such thing to her! She loved him and she knew that he loved her back, there was no doubt to that at all! Why was it affecting her so much?
Maybe because it made her realize the oddness that had been recently happening with Eren. How he would excuse himself whenever she initiated a decent conversation. How he seemed to be so overprotected whenever she would come near his phone. How he diverts his attention where else whenever she looks at him. All his imperfections from the past week clicked. That's why he seemed so far away, Eren had already shifted away, far, far away from her. Reality was sinking in. A familiar sensation took over her body, as if her face had been slapped on the face. HARD.
"What?" She whispered,asking for the second time. A slight faithful tone of look could be seen on her face, hoping that this was all a dream, nothing more.
"Eren's cheating on you with ANNIE!"
"Oh fuck!" She cursed loudly, not giving a damn if anyone had heard her. She was already too damn tired to even care for that. Who gives a shit anyways? Definitely not that fucking bastard.
A whirl of wind that passed through her legs made her shudder. She looked down at her ankle, a violet stain had shadowed the bulking bone. She probably must have bumped it on a rock while her attention was discarded somewhere else.
Ignoring the pain,she continued to stride, her steadiness was wearing off, her walking patterns had become clumsy. She knew that she was wobbling, but that didn't made her stop. She just wanted to rest and forget about everything for a few hours. Her glance stayed forward, hoping she would walk all the way to her condo, with heels and a freezing body. Eren should be the last person she should think about.
8~8~8~8~8
She gagged inwardly at the sight that beheld in front of her. Of course he had to be there. Pretending to be all worried and shit. That bastard was so fucking romantic, that it blinded her too much. It blinded her eyes to see what was really happening. It covered her fucking sight to see any of this bullshit.
Mikasa closed her eyes and breathed deeply. 'Calm down, Mikasa. You're gonna go into that room and pretend that you don't know any—
"Mikasa? Is...is that you?" Muffled voice aspoke from behind the door, which in the process, interrupted her plot. Great timing. Her eyes were probably watery and she smelled like alcohol. She looked like shit. Why the hell was he there anyway? In her condo?
No answer was spoken when her hands harshly shoved the door open. Eren was behind, closing it off, with the opposite action, gently. "Where have you been, babe?"
"To the bar."
"At this late hour?"
Sternly, she corrected, not bothering to turn around. "Early."
This drove him to confusion. For the past week, whenever he questioned her or make contact, she would only reply a word or two and, or, dodge his touch. What was going on?
Oh sh—, she didn't find out about that... right? No. There was no way she would have found out. Annie would always come over whenever Mikasa was gone. And he had made sure that she really was gone. But yet, he doubted that. What if someone saw them whenever he and Annie went out on dates? What if someone had already beat him into telling Mikasa the truth?
Connie lives at the other side of the city, so no... he couldn't have seen them together. Jean lived in another state, so another no. Sasha... no. Connie and her are dating. Why would she waste her time and spy on them? Impossible.
His eyes stared off somewhere, he didn't even realize that Mikasa had turned around to look at him dead in the eye.
Of course. He was daydreaming. What a bastard. She looked like shit, and here he was, thinking of his new girlfriend. That fucking Annie. Why had she been so stubborn? Jean had always warned how much a pain in the ass Eren could be. Why hadn't she listened to him?! If only she knew what kind of guy Eren really was, then she should have never considered dating him!
The Eren she knew was so much different. He was always kind and patient. Reminiscing, the sight of her and Eren sharing their first kiss for the first time played in her mind. The picture of his determined eyes was crystal clear to her.
She had always thought that Eren was the man she was ever going to love and marry. She had always pictured the future, with her and Eren having kids together...Too bad all of this crap was not going to happen.
He cheated, and Eren fucking ruined her. She had put her greatest trust on the man she thought that loved her back, and yet, she received nothing. As a typical individual, she learnt from her mistakes. She learnt that if you gave a hundred percent effort, you would receive bullshit. She learnt that love was the shitiest feeling she had ever felt. She learnt to never trust anyone and to never love again.
A tear slid down her cheekbone. As quick as she could, her wrist wiped the salty liquid. She was not weak. She was not going to break down and forgive him.
A hand snaked its way through her petite waist. She knew that was Eren, and it made her feel so cold. Disgusting,even. "I've missed you..."
He had missed her?! Great.
"I tried calling you and yet, you didn't return any of my calls." He whispered some more, not even knowing that her blood was boiling by the sound of his bullshit. "What's wrong, Mikasa? Is something the matter?"
Her frame stayed rigid as ever, and it took all Eren's might to turn her body. With their bodies colliding, Mikasa still managed to dodge his gaze.
His eyes were half lidded. She knew that look. He was going to kiss her. But of course, since she knew it, she took the chance.
A stinging slap to his left stopped him, the force of the impact caused his head to jerk to the right. He was too shocked to move, the sensation of burning pain was eating away his cheek. That was sure to leave a mark.
"Bastard." She choked out, already, streams of tears made their way down to her cheeks. God, how weak can she be when it was all about Eren?
His mouth hung open, stilled by what she had done.
So she did find out after all...
Oh shit. Oh fuck. Mikasa was crying.
Vision was blurring, yet she continued. "Is that what you say to...Annie?"
The way she had told him that caused his heart to explode in guilt. He had made her cry, broke her heart into infinite pieces and shattered them.
He felt sick. He was repulsed with himself. Never had he seen Mikasa cry before, and with the undesired scenario happening before his very eyes, he felt like a prick for being the reason why the woman he loved was mourning.
He attempted to show what he felt by wiping away the streaming tears from her face, but she aggressively shoved them back. She looked at him with fury, deeply scrunched eyebrows.
Her eyes lit up, fire burning within the depths of her raven orbs. "How could you do this to me, Eren?!" She sobbed loudly, screeching at the top of her lungs. "How the hell could you do this to me?!"
"Mikas— "
Infuriating anger scorched beyond her eyes. "—Tell me this isn't true!"
Should he lie? It was his chance to prove his wrongness. But then again, he could just deny everything with a single blink.
His head bowed at the lowest possible angle as he calmed the debate under his skin. Ashamed with himself for tricking a woman that gave her all. He had to tell her the truth. It wouldn't better the situation. She was already questioning him, knowing the fact that he was a cheating liar.
"...I'm sorry..."
"God, Eren! I loved you so fucking much! I even loved you more than I love my family! ...I— thought you loved me too!" Her lips quivered, the steadiness of her breathing broke and it went berserk. "Am I really not that appealing to you?! Have I not satisfied you enough in bed?! Fuck, Eren! WHY?!"
"I love you, Mik—"
"—NO! Shut your fucking mouth! You're lying!" She interjected, overpowering his voice.
"No! I'm not ly—"
"—Don't lie to yourself, Eren. People don't hurt the ones they love." She harshly spat, anger churning within her.
His lips parted for a second, only to find himself at a loss of words. FUCK! Why can't he say a thing? He was always prepared when things get out of hand. Why the fuck can't he find the words to rightfully convince the woman that loved him right now?
"It's over." She declared loud and clear. Hesitation was not within her, she felt so powerful. Eren, the fucking bastard, looked over frightened as she announced her decision.
"No, Mi—Mikasa..." Slowly, Eren dropped to his knees. His hands curled up into tiny fists, slamming them onto the hardwood, not giving a damn if it would cause pain. It hurt like a bitch, but he knew Mikasa was hurting way more than he was. "Mikasa... babe! Give me another cha—"
"—Don't you fucking call me babe! Who the fuck do you think I am? One of your bitch toys that you play around all day?"
"Of course not! I love you! Just, please! Give me another chance!"
Her frowned deepened, yet on the last second, she pulled off a smirk. Smug, she talked. "What's next? Find you fucking Annie while I visit you? Quit screwing, Eren."
"Mikasa..." he buried his eyes within Mikasa's. His hands were shaking as he tried to touch her again.
She held his incoming hand tightly, caressing his skin with her nails as she purposely scraped them. "Shut the fuck up and get out of my sight!" While telling him off, she walked over and pushed him as hard as she could. Successfully, he crossed over the door frame.
Now with Eren outside, their voices echoed into the hallways as they continued. "Mikasa, please..."
Pairs of teal pleaded. Those eyes used to convince her for anything. But now, they were so powerless. Hell was going to break lose if she did forgive him, right there, on the spot. "Eren, don't you get it? I said it's over. You, me, this, us, we're through! I can't do this anymore, and obviously, you can't either. Get the fuck out of my face and leave!"
"Mikasa..." He grabbed a hold of her hand. She immediately jerked away.
"Touch me again and I'll call the fucking cops!" She warned, already closing the door midway. The ceasing was stopped by a push of a palm.
"How can I fix this?" He whispered desperately, passing on a bit of his strength to his palm that held the door in between them. "Please..."
Her eyes rolled nonchalantly, "This isn't some kind of injury that a band-aid and a kiss can fix. We're fucking over. Get that through your thick skull, you bastard! Just fucking leave!"
"I love you,Mikasa, and...and I know you love me t—"
"—Go fuck yourself! I've had enough of your bullshit, Eren. Get back to your apartment and have your little fuck time with Annie. I'm hoping that I gave you your freedom that you have always wanted. I wish you a happy life. Good bye."
With that, with her last bit of strength, she bitterly slammed the door, not caring if it hit Eren.
As the thick door closed right in front of him, he knew one thing for sure. He was going to make things right and fix this.
'For Mikasa...'
- Fin -
Crimson
Maya Salsa
- I -
進撃の巨人 © 諫山 創
This is the updated version. Revised on April 2015
Word Count: 2, 820