Author's Note: Here's a nice chapter fic that I got inspired for after watching the first episode of LoK. The original game of Kyoshi Hold 'Em belongs to cupid-painted-blind, so go read her fic Kyoshi Hold 'Em for the back story. This is crack, crack and more crack. Just so you can't say I didn't warn you.

This has also been changed a bit from the original, after I showed my friend who thought it was too short. So I added more.

Kyoshi Hold 'Em: Generation Two

A Legend of Korra fanfiction

Chapter One: A Series of Unfortunate Events

The all agreed later that it was part of a complete fluke, one where a bunch of not quite so good events fit together, which Tenzin would forever afterwards dub as 'a series of unfortunate events'.

It had started when Tenzin invited them all over for a week on Air Temple Island, or rather, Bumi had. The Fire Lord's kids were visiting incognito for the summer, Uncle Sokka was there with his wife, the Kyoshi warrior Suki, and the Bei Fong Metalbending Academy was on three weeks of summer break. It was a great chance for one of those family get-togethers that nobody ever had time for. Except none of the parents were invited. "We've got to learn to be responsible at some point in time," Bumi had argued, and the adults had fallen for his unbeatable logic. How unbelievably wrong he was.

So now they sat at the kitchen table. Sort of. Tollik was rummaging through the pantry, armed with a pair of chopsticks. Katon was seated at the head of the table, Kya opposite from him; both arguing about sexists. (Katon thought that he wasn't, Kya thought he was.) Kiza and Akai, on either side of Kya, were pitching throwing knives at the bonsai tree in the corner. Lin was perched on the counter, metalbending the forks into a statue of the tree. Tenzin was leaning over the second story, yelling for Nono to get off his head. Bumi, next to Katon, banged his glass on the table.

"Oi!" he shouted. Sudden silence, except for the thunk of one last stiletto finding its mark on the top left branch of the bonsai. "We've got to do something! Something interesting!"

"Yeah," drawled Katon . "Like a card game. Go fish?"

"Actually," proclaimed Bumi. "Yes. A card game." Mutterings, both of assent and dissent. "But not just any card game…" he paused for dramatic effect, which was ruined when his older sister kicked him. "Ow! Kyoshi Hold "Em!"

"Poker?" asked Akai, her eyes lighting up. "Sounds fun!"

"Well, from what I learned from Jet, you know, that vagabond guy from the Earth Kingdom," explained Bumi (blatantly ignoring Kya's mutter of "Yes, we know him. Of course we know him.") "Kyoshi Hold 'Em is half poker with betting, half drinking game, and half strip game."

"You've got too many halves," Kiza pointed out matter-of-factly.

Tenzin choked, falling over the railing to land on the living room floor next to Lin, dislodging Nono with a screech of irritation and several dislodged hairs. "No way am I playing anything like that!"

Lin punched him on the shoulder none too gently. "Come on, T. Don't be a spoilsport. It'll be fun."

"Says the one who nearly blew up the phoenix-dragon cages in the Royal Palace last summer," muttered Tollik, flicking a grain of rice at Lin with his chopsticks. "You called it 'harmless fun'!"

"But it was harmless," cut in Akai. "Nobody died." She shrugged, portraying the seemingly obvious fact.

Katon gagged. "That's your definition of harmless fun? Nobody dying? What about the hundred and fifty pounds of acidic powder you managed to mix with chlorinated water and spill over the entire courtyard? Councilman Okon is still trying to sue Dad for the damage to his boots."

Akai shrugged again. "He shouldn't have been wearing bat-snake leather boots to work. They're an endangered species."

Bumi banged his water glass on the table again. "Hey! Back to the matter at hand. We have an entire week here on Air Temple Island without any adults, thanks to my most brilliant bargaining."

Kya glared at him. "I'm eighteen, thank you very much. That makes me an adult."

"Yes, oh wise and venerable sister. Fine. No parents. Happy?" grumbled Bumi. ("Estatic," grumbled his sister). "We should play Kyoshi Hold 'Em!"

"With the original rules?" suggested Kiza. "No alcohol or stripping?" She then groaned at Bumi's answer.

"Nope. Jet didn't know them. Neither do I. Well, I know the basics. Bet anything you can: money, clothes, sexual favors…"

"What about a nice, calm game of Pai Sho? Or…Ma Jiang!" interrupted Tenzin desperately. "Are you sure we have cards? What about wine?"

"Let me finish! If you lose a round, you lose whatever you bet ("No, duh," muttered Katon, but was ignored.) And you have to take a shot of whatever alcoholic drink we're playing with. We're starting with Uncle Sokka's best sake. And, in answer to your questions; no way, NO WAY, yes, definitely. Yes, see? Right here," said Bumi, pulling a pack of cards from his sleeve. "All in favor of playing say Aye."

There was a chorus of 'Aye's from every voice but Tenzin's.

"It's decided," cried Bumi. "Majority rules. We're playing Kyoshi Hold 'Em."

Tenzin groaned and slumped back against the couch. "I'm going to die!"

Lin patted him on the back sympathetically. "Don't worry. You're a master Airbender. On your home turf. As I see it, what you want, you get."

"Oh," said Tenzin, brightening. "Not quite so bad."

0000

This was supposed to go somewhat towards explaining why Tollik was repeatedly banging his head on the table, and why Kiza was grinning madly. "Sorry, Tollik," muttered Katon, who was dealer for that round. "Lose the pants."

Tollik glared, but Katon glared back. With bad grace, Tollik pulled off his pants and threw them to Katon, who ducked as they landed on his already impressive pile of clothes. Lin snorted. Tollik made a rude hand gesture at Lin. She nodded sympathetically. "That's what Kiza will have you doing with Tenzin if you lose the next round." The mentioned Fire Princess's grin widened. Tenzin's face went white, then red, and then settled for a disturbing green.

Tollik tried to hide his bottom half under the table, to little success. "Next round," he muttered.

"Nope," said Akai gleefully to her brother. "You still have to get up and walk over to Tenzin to get some of Dad's sake."

Tenzin glared. Tollik groaned. Lin got up and dragged him out of his chair. Tenzin shook his head. "We've used up all of Uncle Sokka's sake."

"Yes!" cried Tollik, his words slurred. "Saved by the sake! We're done for tonight!"

"No!" shrieked Bumi. "I need my boxers back! One more round? No drinking?"

Katon shook his head distractedly. "No, we have my dad's firewhisky." He eyed the afore-mentioned article of clothing in his stack, then the circle of people around the table. "One more?"

Lin grinned. "Sure. Gotta give people a chance to cut my winning streak."

"No!" yelled Tollik. "No, no, NO!"

Akai glanced at the community cards. "Why not? I want to beat Lin."

Kiza nodded. "Ditto."

Kya let loose a string of swear words so colorful Tenzin leapt up to cover Nono's ears. "No. I am not. I'm down to my bindings. No."

Tenzin shrugged. "I never said this was a good idea, but now that we've started, we might as well finish."

Bumi thumped his younger brother on the back. "Atta boy, little bro."

Katon looked around again. "We can make it an all or nothing round. Actually, I'm dealer, plus we have majority. It's an all or nothing round. Anyone folding?"

"Me!" yelped Kya. "I can't afford to lose anything else."

"Laaaaame," grumbled Bumi. "Laaaaame."

"Okay," announced Katon, ignoring Bumi. "Bets?"

"Kya's skirt," said Lin, digging through her pile of clothes to find it.

"Um…my shirt," muttered Akai.

"Lin's left shoe," declared Kiza, ignoring an odd look from the dealer. "It's all I've got besides my skirt and bindings."

"My hat," said Tollik. "No, Kya's hat. Kya, is this yours or mine?"

"Bright blue striped with green and a purple pompom. What do you think, blockhead?" she sniped.

"Yours," sighed Bumi. "I'm betting Kya's hat."

"The black pants trimmed with red and gold. Katon, these yours?" asked Tenzin.

"Yeah. Bumi?"

Bumi sighed. "Fine. All or nothing."

"Okay," said Katon, flipping his cards over. "Two pair. Jacks and Fours."

"Straight," groaned Lin, tossing Kya's skirt into the center of the table and downing her cup of firewhisky.

"One pair," moaned Akai, pulling off her shirt. Tenzin went red. Bumi leaned forward slightly, shifting carefully to the right.

Kiza grinned, flipping her cards over one by one. "Straight flush."

Bumi scowled and glanced at his cards. His eyes widened. Across the table, Tollik's heart sank. Bumi lay his cards down all at once. "Royal flush!" he cried.

"Oh, bloody hell," growled Tollik.

"Bumi wins," said Katon. "We're done." He turned to gather the cards.

"No!" cried Tollik. "I need my boxers back! I'm half naked- the more embarrassing half! One more round! Please!"

"He's begging," Lin noted. "This could be interesting. I'm in."

"No," stated Kya flatly, crossing her hands over her chest bindings. "There are better things to be doing at three-thirty in the morning. Sleep, for example."

"Guys, come on," suggested Kiza. "We can make it the last round." ("Isn't that what you said three rounds ago?" grumbled Tenzin.) "Nothing or all."

"The phrase is 'all or nothing'," protested Tenzin, grabbing her wrist. "It's all or nothing," he repeated, more insistently this time.

"Fine, fine. All or nothing. Happy?"

"Yes."

"So," interjected Bumi. "Whoever wins gets everything they've previously lost?'

"Ooh, good idea," put in Lin. "And if Tollik loses?"

Akai contemplated this for a moment. "He can walk around topless in the living room, by the big window, you know? For fifteen minutes." She paused, then continued, grinning. Tollik felt a rising panic growing in his chest.

"Why not bottomless?" asked Kiza wickedly. "No. That'd be insulting to what little mental sanity you have left."

Akai kicked her under the table. "He'd freeze his bits," she explained. "That would be bad, in simplest terms."

"If Tollik's risking his manly pride, I'm in," declared Katon. "Let's play! Bets?"

"Tollik's boxers," cried Bumi with a gleam of wicked glee in his eyes.

Author's Note: To those of you who didn't get it, Nono is Momo's descendent, a flying lemur. Not a human.

Author's Note: Please review. Over a thousand people have read my fics, but hardly any of them have reviewed! To all you people who just read this fic, think I'm annoying, and are about to leave this page: You just spent five minutes reading this, surely you can spend a further thirty seconds reviewing it.

How's this: Seven of you review, and I will post the next chapter. Fair?

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