The Hunger
It was only the third night they were together sexually but she had awakened a hunger in him that he hadn't felt since he was young-a desire to possess, to own a woman completely and to have her submit to his will and to want to please him enough to do anything for him. But he also knew that a woman like her wouldn't just lie there and yield to him; she was too much her own woman. So he tried very hard to keep himself in check, and yet, he felt himself pounding into her and he was afraid of what he might do if he lost his well-practiced control in all things.
He looked down at her. Her arms were bent over her head and she twisted the edges of the pillow case in her fists. Her breath was high in her throat; Trapper knew that sound. Usually it was from someone in great pain-or a great deal of pleasure. He wasn't sure which it was from her; she hadn't given him a clue yet so he continued taking control of their coupling, enjoying the slapping sound of their bodies and the small gasps that came from her every time he slammed into her. And as he did, he noticed that her legs around his waist grasped him tighter and tighter.
She arched her neck and cried out. He slowed himself down and asked her if she wanted him to stop but she pleaded, no, please, and for him to keep going-she was so close. So he clenched his jaw and continued his relentless thrusting into her and then she cried out again and he could feel her body shake underneath him and he felt the unwilling contractions that let him know that her reactions to him were real, not just something to get him to hurry up and finish so that she could get away from his desire-from his hunger. And so, when he felt her physical release, he began to lose himself. He watched her as she lay there enjoying him again and again and then he felt the wave come over him and for a few moments, he knew not where he was or what was happening; it was as if he was out of his body somewhere else where his mind knew nothing but the feeling of release that flooded his being.
Trapper rolled off of her and lay on the bed beside her. He breathed deeply as he tried to recover his control. After a minute, she leaned over him and as he lay with his eyes closed, she unrolled the condom and dropped it into the wastebasket by the bed.
"Thank you," he barely whispered. "Did I hurt you?" He turned his head toward her and saw she had a small smile-one of indulgence and amusement.
"No, not really although I think I'll remember you for a while every time I sit down. I feel as if I've been sitting on a jackhammer."
He laughed. "I'm sorry. I just find myself getting a little carried away when it comes to you-I don't know why." He reached out for her and she curled up next to him, her head on his shoulder. She lightly blew on his chest to cool him off.
"I hope that's not your idea of a blow job," Trapper said.
She lightly slapped his chest. "No, but if you're a very good boy-oh, I guess it's too late for that isn't it?"
He laughed. "Is that what you want? A good boy?"
"No," she said, reaching up to touch his face, "I want a bad boy. I want you." Then she shivered slightly. "I'm cold."
"Here," he said, reaching down with one hand for the sheet and blanket. He pulled them up around them and she sighed in contentment, snuggling even closer. She felt cocooned in safety and warmth and if he had meant what he had said, love. He had murmured it the first time they had lain together that night.
They lay that way for a time, silent and calm, and then she asked him if he was asleep.
"No, why?" He tuned his head and kissed her hair.
"I just thought maybe you were sleeping. I mean it's late and you certainly worked hard enough tonight. You're just so quiet. You can, you know."
"I can what?" Trapper asked, his eyes still closed; he felt at peace.
"Sleep. If you'd like to stay tonight…"
"Yes, I'd like to stay." He took a deep sigh. "Actually, I'd like to never leave-just stay here tucked in this bed with you forever. Just eat upon occasion, piss when necessary and then fuck you again. Sounds like the perfect life to me."
"Sounds the way a honeymoon is supposed to be," she said and he laughed. "Why haven't you married again, Trapper?"
"I could ask you that." He pulled her closer and adjusted his arm around her.
"Well I have my reasons but you've been divorced longer than I have and met more women-or so it seems-than I've met men. But maybe the longer someone is divorced, the less the chances they'll marry. You know, we get set in our ways. Are you too much a bachelor now?' She glanced up at him as he lay there next to her.
"I suppose I am. I have certain things I do that would probably annoy someone else, listen to music others may not like-things like that. But I think I'd give all that up to marry someone, if I met someone who wanted to marry me as well-that is at the same time. Did that answer your question?"
She raised herself up so that she could kiss his mouth before they fell asleep but he pulled her down to him and then rolled her over on to her back. He gently sucked on one of her nipples and she clasped the back of his head as little pleasurable twinges ran through her as his mouth pulled on her. He made her feel things she had never felt before.
"Oh, Trapper," she murmured, "oh, what you do to me."
He stopped and asked, "And just what is it that I do that you like? Anything in particular?" He had been trying so hard to please her, to guess what he should do and he had judged by her body's response, not by her words, what she liked. But if she could tell him, if she could voice her desires, then he would know exactly what she wanted, what gave her the most pleasure.
"I don't know," she said. She knew that he wanted something from her; it was in the way he looked at her, the way he held her and pressed against her. And he frightened her a bit. He overwhelmed her, shocked her senses. It was the smell of his skin and his hair and the feel of his arms, the way she could feel the muscles move beneath his skin and then there was his demanding genitals. She could already feel him becoming aroused again, his hardness pushing against her as he surrounded her with his arms.
"Tell me," he said, "about the last man you slept with. Did he please you? Tell me." He pulled her further underneath him, pushing her legs apart with a thigh, settling between her legs. She knew that he could feel her wetness against him.
She didn't want to tell him about the last man; it was too secret, her secret, but she also knew she couldn't resist Trapper; that was part of what frightened her in being with him. She had known him only two months and already she was under his spell-he had enthralled her. "The last one? Why? Why do you want to know?"
"I just do. Tell me." He kissed her and struggled with himself to leave it at just that-a kiss. He wanted more but he didn't quite know what it was. All he knew was that he had a desire to physically take her and now, along with that, he wanted to know, had to know that she felt he was different from the men in her past.
She couldn't decide whether or not to tell him-her last fledgling relationship had been such a failure. But she went on-he wanted her to tell him so she would. "He just…he was a history professor; he was intelligent and handsome and I was lonely, so we went out a few times and then, well, then-I thought it would be nice but it wasn't. He tried to satisfy me, to please me but I had to pretend. I hated it and I wanted him gone afterwards. I didn't want him to stay. I lied to him and told him that I had to get up early and asked him to leave and after he did, I showered and slept on the couch; I didn't want to get in the bed where we had been and in the morning, I washed the sheets. That was over a year ago and you're the first since."
"Is it like that with me?" He found that he needed to know. Did she rinse out her mouth after he left? Wash herself to rid herself of any taint left behind?
"No. It's not like that. When you left me the last time, after you'd gone, I crawled into the sheets and smelled your pillow and touched myself again where you had and imagined that it was you, that it was you who brought me to orgasm. I closed my eyes and pictured your face, how you look and I wanted your mouth and to feel you inside me, filing me. I thought of just you, only you. And I missed your voice so much when you were gone that I ached. Oh, Trapper, everything's too much. I can't find part of myself because it's always with you."
She waited; she had taken a chance in telling him how she felt about him. She didn't know if he would leave because he feared the ferocity of her desire for him or because he didn't want to become serious over anyone-but she had to tell him since he had asked.
Trapper said nothing; he was afraid to say anything. She moved him so that he was again afraid of losing control so he braced himself and gently kissed her. He leaned on his elbows and with one hand, he stroked her hair. He watched her face-she was examining his for any sign of disdain or contempt that would show that she had spoken too soon, revealed her heart too soon.
"You are more than I ever hoped for," he quietly said. "I want you, woman. I want you so much that I want to consume you, take you every way I can and own your very soul. That's what I feel about you and it scares me." He paused and swallowed before he continued. "You see, I always have to be in control, can't lose myself to anger or fear or apprehension-or lust. I have to be the calm, controlled, surgeon, the doctor who comforts others, the person who is the port in the storm. My ex-wife relies on me, my children rely on me, everyone does. I'm supposed to solve everyone's problems. If I could find something with you, something like you said you felt. If you could accept me, I could hold myself together until I'm with you. It's so hard sometimes but if you would let me be who I am, let me lose control when I'm with you, well, I think that I-I wouldn't hurt you, just let me do certain things with you. I need a woman who won't shun me for my weaknesses…and one of my weaknesses is you."
"Me? How am I a weakness? " She reached up and stroked his cheek.
"I want to lose control with you. You bring out a need I thought was gone. I want to take you over and over and have you beg to be taken again and to never want anyone else but me-never." He kissed her, crushing her lips with his intensity. She struggled slightly but didn't want to stop him. She threw her arms around his neck and responded to his desire, relinquishing her mouth to him as well as her body.
In response to her willingness to submit, he sat up and placed one of her legs over his shoulder, and held her other leg trapped between his legs. "Hand me a condom," he said.
She reached over, stretching and twisting to reach the nightstand where a box of condoms stood. She tipped the box over and then, with the tips of her fingers pulling it to her, she managed to grab one. "Here," she said, handing it to him. "Do you need help?'
"No. I've got this one," he said. She lay back and closed her eyes, waiting to feel the pressure of his entering her. "You're a little swollen here," he said. She felt his fingers touch her labia and the vaginal opening. "Are you sore?"
"Just a little,' she replied, pulling back slightly.
"I think you may have had enough tonight," he said. She felt him start to take her leg off his shoulder.
"No, no…please. I haven't had enough. Not nearly enough." She didn't want him to stop; she felt so heavy inside, she needed him to help her release her sexual tension. "Just do it. I want it." She moved slightly, unable to stop her body's urgency.
"If you're sure?" He unwrapped the condom and then paused. "You stop me now," he said, "because once I'm inside you, I won't be able to."
She slid down in the bed so that the Y shape of her legs spread wider and raised her buttocks slightly off the bed. "I want it. I want it hard and I want it deep."
"Be careful," he said. "I may go so deep that you'll be able to taste me inside your mouth." He still waited.
"You all talk, Doc? I'm ready."
He smiled at her and then proceeded rolling the condom on his erection. She stretched her arms luxuriously over her head and waited. Her breathing had stepped up in anticipation and then she felt him at the opening of her vagina, felt the slight pressure and the slight soreness from their earlier intercourse and she held her breath, her body tense. And then she felt him enter her and the soreness was gone and all she felt was the wonderful fullness as he slid in and out. He pulled her hips closer to him as he kneeled between her legs and his hips moved in a rhythm as he thrust in and out, watching himself as he did, watching her nether lips part to allow him in. And as he watched their coupling, he began to feel that hunger again, that need to possess her and it caused him to push into her harder and she cried out but he kept on until it was all over in a blinding sensation, until he collapsed and fell back on the mattress and lay catching his breath.
"Damn, fucking you is like running a marathon," he said. She lay beside him, slick with sweat and laughed. Then she reached over and took his hand in hers.
"Trap, I probably shouldn't feed your ego like this, but I swear, any woman who you laid and who didn't wrap her legs around you so tightly that you couldn't get away must have been crazy." She rolled on to her side and brought his hand to her lips and kissed it.
"She said before she sent him on his way," Trapper murmured, his eyes still closed, his voice tired. "Are you going to tell me that you have to get up early and that I need to go?" He tried to make it sound as if he was joking but it was his fear that she would send him away.
She moved closer to him and he opened his eyes at the motion of the mattress. "Actually," she said, running a hand over his chest, "I have nothing special to do tomorrow at all. Stay for breakfast? I cook a mean Spanish omelet."
He laughed softly and reached with one hand to touch her face. "How could I resist a Spanish omelet-or you?" He gently pulled her over and she kissed him, then looked down into his gentle brown eyes, considering the difference in their expression now that he was sexually sated and when he was in the midst of his lust. Then she curled up beside him, suddenly sat up and then unrolled the sticky condom from him and tossed it in the waste basket. Threee times tonight, she thought to herself. I wonder if it's a personal best for him-it is for me. And she smiled to herself and pulled the covers back over the two of them as she felt the warmth of sleep come over her.
~Finis~