Seeing those twinkling blue eyes and snarky smile, in that moment she traversed from euphoria at seeing Jane to a homicidal desire to shoot him.
It had been what a year , 2 years maybe ? As if letters could atone for the deep ache and longing she had felt all this time. After all they had been through, he had run as if the hounds of hell were on his tail. Oh well, they were on his tail. Never mind the aftermath of the Red John tsunami he had left in his wake.
Jane always did what he wanted, to hell with the consequences.
Lisbon ? She had broken every unwritten rule, if she listened hard enough she could hear Boscoe's ominous words ringing in her ears. 'snake oil salesman, Doctor Good, Svengali,' those were the kinder words he had used to describe Jane.
She really had no one to blame except herself; she had fooled herself into thinking - what ? That somehow she and Jane had this connection, an understanding even if it wasn't romantic. No he had played them all.
Jane was Jane; it was she that had crossed the line. Her weakness cost her, her illustrious career. She was a joke, the butt of every cop's joke or rather the lesson every cop should learn - How not to be like Teresa Lisbon! All her cop training, her personal mantras of head over heart, her steel-cased heart had unwittingly melted under a glib tongue that could con the devil, a pair of mesmerizing blue eyes and a head full of golden curls that rivaled Adonis. Shame on Teresa Honoria Lisbon falling for a shyster and a hustler. St Teresa had been bedeviled.
Now she had been unceremoniously summoned by the mighty F.B.I. and the saccharine sweet reception she got was tinged with contempt. She wasn't under any illusion that she was welcome, no she was leverage for whatever plan, trap the FBI had for Patrick Jane. Patrick Jane as usual was the prize.
She sat silently next to Jane only half listening to Abbot's laying down of the law. As she had suspected; Jane was told very firmly she might add that Ms Teresa Lisbon's services were not required. FBI had their special team.
She hated to say it but it hurt when Cho barely acknowledged her presence. She tried to rationalise that was Cho being Cho but deep down things had changed. Cho had moved on, to greener pastures it would seem. In the past she, dare she say the good ol' days; she had appreciated Cho's detachment, coldness. An asset in their job but not today and not now.
The dulcet tones of one Kim Fischer startled her; she didnt have to be a cop to see that dear old Jane and Special Agent Kim had met under most auspicious circumstances. What?! did she really think he was going to live like a monk...just because she lived like a nun...relegated more out of pity than anything to a small hick town where the powers that be supposed that she couldnt do any harm. Jane? Didnt seem worse for wear; looked healthy, hearty and sun-kissed. Obviously Special Agent Kim had assisted him in that respect.
She clamped down on her anger; she had no legal right to get mad. No promises had been spoken, no sweet nothings whispered, only Jane's way of returning the favor by promising to 'help'. A sort of coldnesss, a feeling of dread came over her. What if? What if? what if Jane had only been using her. It wouldnt be the first time; RED JOHN RED JOHN, he had lived, breathed and slept with only one thing on his mind - RED JOHN.
She had read Jane's psych. and personal profile; as the father does so does the son. Couldnt blame him; that's all he knew and had ever known. "Townies" as all non-carny folks were called were commodities to Jane and his ilk. She and other townies were a means to an end.
Teresa wasnt one to dawdle in self-pity but hey even the strongest person had their breaking point. Seeing the Rigsbys, meeting Cho, muscled by the FBI and now Jane all in the same week. She wished she was anywhere but here. As usual Jane was oblivious only pausing to touch her hand and assure her that everything would be alright. Yes all would be right if it followed Jane's plan of course.
This was the FBI not CBI with dear lovable Virgil Minelli as her boss and Sam Boscoe as her mentor and checklist. Hey even Wainwright was tolerable. No they were all gone, dead - Virgil had passed on 3 years ago, a surprise heart attack. Who knew he had a bad heart. She felt as small and insignificant as a bug here, all her insecurities closing in on her.
Her maudlin musings were rudely interrupted as Jane was 'escorted' to the private suite the FBI had arranged for him and Teresa Lisbon...a handshake and thank you from Director Abbot for her 'help' ...and oh! a bonus ...personally escorted out of the FBI HQ by one Agent Kim.
Thank god that was over...she would hold it all in till she reached home...her sanctuary with only the walls to see her tears.
She grimaced as she remembered an old phrase...switch the gender to him and it mirrored their relationship aptly.
"It was all love on my side, and all good comradeship and friendship on hers.
When we parted she was a free woman, but I could never again be a free man.
~ Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, "The Adventure of the Abbey Grange"