For You, Always
A/N: Another story I started and never got around to finishing. Maybe some R&R could help with inspiration to finish this story?
Have you ever had one of those experiences in which your life flashes before your very eyes? Hopefully, you haven't, but to an experienced person like myself who's had dealings with that sort of situation many times, you begin to realize something.
Life sucks. Hard.
It wasn't that I had to bloody my hands and soul for the safety of others, or that with each kill another nightmare was added to my already extensive collection. It was that life left me with no other options. This was the command of my queen that I go out and perform this service for my country.
It makes a man start to wonder, really. I have saved this land many times, and now I was starting to feel that this land needed to save me. I was tired of the constant pain, physical and emotional, and all I longed for was to live the rest of my life in peace.
But, they refused my peace.
"The people need you, Link." The council of advisors had told me, every single eye filled with panic. Not at the fact that I might leave, but at the fact that if I left, they would have to start sending out patrolmen, who had to be paid. I did what I did as a personal favor for Zelda, and never accepted pay for it. If I left, money would have to start coming out of their pockets.
I laughed harshly, startling Epona out of her carrot-induced doze. She turned her auburn head and snorted at me in displeasure. I stroked her snowy mane by way of apology, before returning to my thoughts. Unfortunately, my thoughts returned to the one person I didn't want to think about. Zelda.
My heart ached with loneliness as I recalled the subtle perfection of her face. Her sun-kissed hair lovingly flowing down her back, the fullness of her red lips, and the exquisite delicacy of her pale skin. However, her eyes were the real killer. Perfectly shaped violet eyes that seemed to emit their own light, echoing the person underneath the crown. Kindness. Warmth. Love.
"Except with me," I announced to the empty air, bitterness creeping into my voice. The air didn't answer back, which was more or less what I expected. However, a voice did answer back, which I did not expect.
"Well, Link, you never seemed the type to talk to yourself," Zelda's amused voice said from behind me. As much as it shames me to admit it, I did jump into the air and in the process, fell off Epona. I hit the leaf-covered ground with a hearty "oomph" and Cuccos started dancing in front of my eyes. Rather badly, I might add.
"Link, Link?" she exclaimed, rushing up to kneel beside me and cradle my head, "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," was what I meant to say. However, it came out more like: "Mmph fmm."
And, suddenly, my eyelids decided to occupy the area in front of my eyes, and I went out like a bad cliché.
It was midnight. The moon was in its fullest luminous splendor and tiny ivory dots twinkled in their places in the sky, and the chill wind made the leafless branches of the majestic oaks sigh as winter approached its zenith. The lights of Hyrule Castle seemed to dwindle into nothingness as I progressed on my journey away. Away from the castle, away from her, and, most importantly, who I had had to become.
I sighed, misery coming forth once more from the wellspring of my soul. Epona's hooves made a loud clattering on the cobblestone road, and that fit my mood. I didn't know where I was going; I'm not entirely sure I cared, either. I just couldn't stand to be near her anymore.
So I left, just as I had so many times. Termina, Labrynna, Holodrum, and just about everywhere else. And she always drew me back against my will. No matter where I went, her vibrant voice seemed to echo in my soul.
"Please, Link, just come back," she had said to me each time, with tears to follow, and each time, I would smile softly and say "for you, always." and feel my heart break down a little more. I didn't know why I did this. I had no idea why I seemed to cause her so much pain each time I left, and how I could willingly let her endure that pain for my pain's ease. How could I do this?
"Because you aren't as strong as she is," I whispered to myself, "You are a child in a man's body. You can't get what you want, so you're running away to sulk. Face it, you'll never be what she needs you to be."
I buried my head in my hands, shaking from the sobs that I vainly tried to hold back. Tears streamed down in rivulets down my face and onto Epona's shaggy mane.
"Oh, God," I said softly, "Just what have I become?"
What difference did it make. I was still the lonely man I had always been, and Zelda was..well..Zelda. Perfection. She deserved someone better than the broken man I had become.
My part in the world had ended. I had done my duty, now all I waited was for either peace or death, whichever came first.
"Link," a voice said from the darkness, causing me to halt Epona abruptly. I didn't turn around as another horse rode up beside her and stopped.
"Good evening, your Majesty," I formally addressed Zelda, bowing to her from my saddle.
"Do you have to do that, Link?" she asked, sadness creeping into her usually crystalline voice. I studied her in the shadows, and dropped the formal tone I had been using.
"What are you doing out this late by yourself?" I asked gently, "It's cold, and the Stalchildren are sure to be coming out any moment."
"I wanted to make sure you were alright," she said, slightly defensive, "After we danced at the ball, you pretty much just ran out of the castle like Hell itself was snapping at your heels." I smiled sadly at her, but I doubted she could see it in the dark.
"I'm touched that you were so concerned, but won't you be missed? After all, you are the queen, and I'm just another soldier with a sword."
"Dammit, Link," she growled at me in irritation, "You're my closest friend, yet you talk like you're standing trial for something. What's wrong?"
"Guys don't talk about feelings," was what I gave as an answer as I bumped Epona's ribs with my heels, putting her in motion. Zelda quickly rode up beside me, and even in the dark I could tell she was fuming.
"Goddesses, Link!" she half-shouted at me, " You are the most stubborn, irritating, thoroughly maddening man that Nayru has ever placed on this world!" Now, I was starting to get irritated, but I didn't dare tell her what my real problem was. So, I decided to irritate her more.
"Yep," I replied cheekily, "but that's why you love me. You do, don't you?" I wasn't ready for her response.
"Oh, Link, of course I do. You know that." Apparently, I didn't, because it was a complete surprise to me.
"Well," I said lightly, trying to mask the emotions that were raising hell in my soul, "We learn something new everyday, I guess."
"Are you telling me you didn't know?" she exclaimed, her tone incredulous. I scowled at her.
"No, I didn't know. I'm not the most astute when it comes to such things. I haven't really spent much time in the presence of other people until fairly recently." She sighed, and I felt like joining her, but refrained.
"We'll talk when we get to your house," she finally said.
"We're going to my house?" I asked before I could stop myself.
"Yes," she said in confusion, "Isn't that where you were going?"
"Uh, not really," I said, not really thinking at this point, " I was thinking more like Koholint."
"You're leaving again," she said, disappointment clear in her voice. It was not a question. I shifted uncomfortably in my saddle.
"I was," I answered quietly, "Unless you need me."
"I do," she said simply.
That was about when my eyelids decided they were bored being in front of my eyes and bounced back to their usual position.
"Ow," I muttered as sunlight gleefully stabbed little daggers in my eyes. For a moment, I just laid there, trying to adjust to the bright lights and figure out what the hell exactly happened.
"Link, are you awake?" a tender feminine voice whispered gently from beside me. Ah, now I remembered…oh boy.
"Seems like it," I winced as I dragged myself up to a sitting position. My head at that point started trying to imitate my heart in a pulsing throb, and I licked my lips in thirst.
Before I even had to ask, Zelda handed me a pitcher of cold water, and I downed it gratefully.
"Thanks," I said after I had finished draining the water. I felt more than saw her lips twitch in exasperated amusement.
"So, Link, are you usually that easy to startle?" she asked , laughing, as she seated herself beside me on the rumpled bed, " I would've thought that after the Tektite incident last year, nothing would be able to surprise you."