xoxo
Love
It's the same saturday cycle.
Get the bus, go to Waitrose, work from eleven till quarter to fucking six, and then finally go home.
There are no interesting moonlight trysts anymore, no more crazy drunken nights with James Potter. All Sirius can focus on is his education, the education he's going to get shit loads of debt for. But it matters. The only things that matter to him are University, his exams, his Remus, Remus John Lupin that is.
The love of his life.
His darling.
Sirius drops the keys to the small table as he steps through the door. Him and Remus share a tiny flat, cheap, usually without any heat in the winter, and with a fridge full of Iceland microwave pizzas.
But they have each other to distract from the tedious, sad shack they live in. They have each other's bodies to warm one another's up during the dead of night. And they have love to feed one another.
'Remus?' Sirius calls, kicking off his Adidas trainers and shrugging off his leather jacket. There's no reply.
It's not really a big walk. Less than one metre from where he stands. He steps through a door to his right, the only bedroom, and turns the light on.
'Remus?' He asks again quietly, stepping over an Xbox Controller on the floor and looking up to meet the gorgeous golden eyes of his lover. The eyes he falls in love with each and every day.
'Rem...' His lover's eyes are red, wet and chillingly cold. He's been crying. He's clutching a letter tightly to his body, as if the possibility of letting go will hurt him and tear him apart.
Sirius is scared to go forward. This isn't like Remus. He still has his shoes on. He still has his cute dorky WHSmith uniform on. He still has his hat on.
And he's clutching a letter, like it's his life saviour.
Sirius is more than scared.
'Babe...' He whispers, stepping forward.
'D-don't-' Remus stutters from that perfect pink mouth of his. 'Don't.'
'Don't what?' Sirius asks just as quietly, setting his backpack down slowly; reluctant to scare his true love.
'Don't come near me.' The blond-tawny haired boy cries. And then it's like the flood gates have opened. And he's sobbing and screaming and pleading.
'W-ww-why-wh-why?' He starts bellowing, and before Sirius knows it, he's pinned to the door with Remus pressing into him; pressing on him, up against him.
The thinner man is trembling.
'Why what?' Sirius is almost worried to ask. Fearing the reaction. Fearing his friend.
'What's happened?'
'T-t-they k-killed 'im,' he starts sobbing into Sirius's ear, and though the silver eyed man doesn't understand a thing his boyfriend is saying, he wraps his arms around him. 'Who?'
He thinks he already knows though.
'M-my d-dad, he-he's d-d...' And Remus really can't finish, or maybe he just doesn't want to. He presses his lips to Sirius's in a heated, wild, fierce kiss; tongues duelling, teeth clashing, hair being pulled, hips thrusting and all those other pleasureable things.
Gasping, the golden eyed man steers them over to the bed, sweeping his essays off the corner and pressing Sirius into the bed.
'I love you,' he breathes.
'Speak to me Remus,' Sirius says, trying to disentangle himself. But it doesn't work. And he's not sure whether he's annoyed about that, or relieved.
'I love you.' He's told again. And lips are on his, forcing his mouth open; sharing saliva and love and desperation.
It's hot, scorching and passionate. Sirius thinks he has never been so hot. He sobs Remus's name over and over, with each thrust, each snap of hips. He cries out again.
'Love you,' he calls into the air, throwing his head back and revealing that delectable pale neck of his. They cannot feel the cold now. Their love has warmed them; warmed them so much they can't breathe.
'You too.' Remus says, before he wraps a hand around Sirius's neck and uses it as leverage to keep thrusting wildly.
In-out. Out-in.
He never usually tops, but this time, he needs it. Needs the warmth his absolutely beautiful lover brings to him.
Sirius gags, but enjoys it. When there lips meet in another crazy, wild frenzy, he gasps into the touch and his whole world explodes. He isn't a feminine one, but he knows it's what Remus needs. He gasps, body quivering and shaking; dear God this is amazing.
He keens, calls out loud, pants and wraps his legs tighter around his lover's waist, wanting to give every bit of himself he can. Remus slows and then stops, before exhaling heavily into Sirius. He can feel the body on top of him shaking, and for a second, he thinks it's because the other man has had an intense orgasm. But then he realises Remus is crying.
Oh darling!
'Remus,' Sirius says softly. He feels wetness, between his legs and on his neck, all around him.
'Remus,' Sirius asks again. But he's stopped when a boiling hot punch lands itself on him. He gasps, and not in the good way. Groping the air for something to hold onto, Sirius rolls off the bed, and bangs his head.
'Stop,' he growls, but then Remus swings for him again, and he cries out in pain, he knows his lover isn't going to stop. 'STOP!' Sirius bellows helplessly.
Before he knows it, he's fighting back. Blood and hair and skin; it's ever so painful.
'Pl-please,' Remus is crying whilst lashing out, his naked body glistening in the bright light of their bedroom. He steps on a bottle of lubrication and it squirts everywhere.
Sirius grunts when a punch lands on his naked body, and he lashes out again, this time hitting his target.
The Xbox Controller smashes to pieces when it's thrown across the room, and Remus barely manages to dodge it.
His face, so confused and scared for a moment, freezes. He seems to realise what he's doing to Sirius. The one person he loves, he can count on.
Suddenly, strong and muscular arms are wrapped around him. He feels a soft body meshing with his own, and he freezes, body shaking, trembling, as he soaks up the adoration and affection and pure love radiating off of Sirius as he's held.
When their lips meet in a slow soft kiss, burning and deep, he can taste blood off the silver eyed man's lips, and he almost winces.
'I'm sorry,' Remus says, naked body pressed to naked body. He touches Sirius's swollen bloody lips with his finger and then leans in to replace it with his lips. His tears fall onto their joined lips, mingling with the taste of sweat and blood and hatred and sweetness.
Some time later, when Remus is smoking on the sofa of the living room/kitchen, he sees his boyfriend (such an inadequate word) enter, only boxers on, a plaster wrapped around his knuckles and damp just-washed hair.
Sirius sits beside him, silent, like the calm before a storm.
'I read the letter.' He says.
'Oh.'
'I'll kill 'em.' Sirius takes the cigarette off Remus and finishes it off for him, before cracking open a can of Budweiser, and sipping it enthusiastically. Budweiser is a novelty; something they look forward to, something they enjoy. And with Sirius's discount, it's something they can afford more than once every three months.
'You can't.' Remus's voice breaks and he restrains to control himself.
'They told you your old man died, in a letter?' Sirius whispers the last sentence, leaning over to kiss his lover on the lips briefly.
'What d'you expect Sirius? Tom Riddle Carers were treating him so wrong for so long-'
'Well then, your family should have done what you told them to and moved him! It doesn't matter if it's cheaper!'
'Th-they s-said his c-cancer has grown. H-he couldn't put up with it.'
Sirius shakes his head. 'Maybe they were the ones who couldn't handle it.' He says in a husky, rich voice.
Remus covers his face with his hands, and breathes in and out, as calmly as he can. He's still wearing his socks.
With warm tender kisses from his calf to his toes, Sirius takes the socks off and settles himself between his boyfriend's naked legs. For once, there's no sexual intent behind the action. He just wants to make Remus feel his presence.
That seems to always heal the man; making him feel love.
'We'll go over there in a bit.' Sirius says. 'I'll pack for you. You need to rest.'
'My dad died three days ago. I doubt much can be done...'
'Shhh, just rest.'
'What's the time?' Remus asks, voice cold; detached; monotonous. Not the voice of kind Remus John Lupin.
'Just gone nine.'
'I'm tired.'
'I know, love,' Sirius croons, pressing a kiss to Remus's chest, where his heart is. Just where his beautiful heart is. The heart that belongs to him, and only him.
'I want to go to sleep, Sirius.' He's lying down now, and never has Remus looked more like a child than in that moment.
'Shh, go to sleep,' the silver eyed handsome man says, carding his fingers through the soft hair of his lover.
There's a sigh, and it seems to last forever. 'I'm sorry.' He says.
Answered with a kiss.
'You're still gorgeous.' Remus continues.
Another kiss.
'Thank you Padfoot.'
A nickname Sirius hasn't heard in such a long time...
'Any time, Moony.'
This is the first SB/RL fic I've ever written, so please tell me what you think.
xo