Double, Double Naruto Trouble!
By: Shozetsku
Disclaimer/Warnings/Summary/Authoress Notes:
-Not mine, just an unhealthy obsession. And even then, I think it comes from one of my many mental voices. So, it's still not mine. (I don't want to repeat myself so this disclaimer goes for the whole fic.)
-Yaoi coming soon, cursing coming soon, OOC-ness here, slightly lude humor here, some use of romaji, and an over use of the meanings of people's names. (SOME-one has trouble with names)
-1 Naruto is trouble enough. What if there were 2? What if Sasuke was back and Itachi and Orochimaru were dead? What if 1 of those Naruto's was actually the Kyuubi? What if next to no one knew? What if the Kyuubi was unused to having hormones? KyuuSasuNaru
-this will be a slightly drawn out threesome. The rating is high right off the bat because of this. Nothing much to warn against here though. Just a dirty joke I don't think you'll get. If you can guess the joke I'll dedicate the next chapter to you.
Chapter 1: I'm seeing Double!
Tsunade rubbed her first two fingers slowly in circles around her temples, "How exactly did this happen again?" What a migraine! There were two Naruto's in front of her right now, sitting in hospital beds, bandaged, beaten up, but otherwise fine.
"What? Again! We must've told this damn story like twelve times already!" the blonde Naruto whined loudly, throwing his hands up in the air in annoyance and flopping back against his pillows.
"Patience Kit." said the reddish blonde Naruto, "This is a very unique situation. Let's start at the beginning... And maybe we should go a little slower this time." he added as a bit of an afterthought.
"How can you be so calm?" the blonde Naruto shouted sitting up in his own hospital bed, staring at the red Naruto incredulously.
The red Naruto sighed, "What can I do to change this situation?" he asked, lethargy heavily lacing his every word. "Nothing." he answered himself. "Will panicking change anything? No. So why waste the energy?" he asked the blonde Naruto with a shrug.
The blonde Naruto threw himself against the pillows yet again. "Whatever." he said at length, "Alright, at the beginning, I was trying to save Sakura and the others." the blonde began.
"And I wanted to kill that weasel because he was trying to kill me. " the redhead interjected.
"He just wanted your power, he didn't want to kill you." the blonde Naruto said turning away from Tsunade to look at the red Naruto confusedly.
"Worse then," the red Naruto said with another shrug. "I become their slave. Not an appealing prospect. So, as I was saying, I was trying to kill him."
The blonde Naruto continued their story, "Then Sasuke, Kabuto, and Orochimaru showed up too and we both just went absolutely postal. I wanted to save everyone and then kill Orochimaru."
"And I wanted to kill the weasel and that shark thing. And then kill the other two." the red Naruto said offhandedly, as if he were discussing the weather. Mental note, the Kyuubi seemed to be very fond of killing, or possibly just desensitized.
"And there was this weird mental tug of war thing that happened; it was kind of like I was running in one direction, flat out, and Kyuubi was running the exact opposite direction while having a death grip on some small part of me." Naruto said miming pulling a rope tightly with both hands, to better illustrate what words didn't seem to express properly.
"If I hadn't held on to that part of Naruto we would both be dead by now." the red Naruto cut in.
"And finally I felt something... Almost literally sort of, tear and I ran to save everyone." the blonde Naruto said with a note of wonder in his voice.
"And I decided to kill the snake thing and that white haired weirdo first, so the younger Uchiha could get an opportunity to kill his brother. And our unexpected separation caused a split second's hesitation in his brother. And the older fan died." the red Naruto commented, still completely cool.
"Everyone is alive at the very least." the blonde Naruto said in a happy relieved voice.
"Except for the weasel, the fish, the snake, and the beetle." interjected the red Naruto, counting off the animals on his fingers; he seemed to have trouble with names.
"And now there are two of us." the blonde Naruto said, gesturing to the other Naruto.
"And his middle pair of whisker markings are gone." the red Naruto observed.
"And his markings look exactly like mine do now." the blonde commented also studying his counterpart's face closely.
"And somehow I now have a gender. Demon's have no gender and yet I am most definitely male."
The red haired Naruto, who was the Kyuubi in a mostly human form, concluded with the first note of interest he'd had the entire conversation. The Kyuubi pulled at the waist band of his hospital shorts and looked in curiosity; the blonde Naruto reached over and slapped his hand.
"Get out of there! Idiot!" he said leaning back in his own bed.
"I'm sorry! It's just that this is really unusual for me!" the Kyuubi-Naruto said, finally showing his discomfort.
"Well, don't look at it! It's odd…" Naruto said fluffing his pillows in irritation before throwing himself onto them yet again as silence finally fell between them.
Tsunade was glad the verbal ping-pong match was over with; her neck hurt from constantly turning back and forth between the two of them.
"And other then that, you two have anything else to report?" Tsunade asked; she had a sneaking suspicion they weren't telling her everything. She expected that from the Kyuubi Naruto but not from Naruto himself.
Naruto looked at her from his position on his pillows, then he shot a glance at his almost twin, "Yeah, ever since he got his own version of me my healing rate is crap. Put him back, I hate being in hospitals, the food is bad and I can't have ramen while I'm in here. I think all the nurses have rallied against me and none of them will let me have any."
Tsunade made a mental note; Naruto's healing rate was greatly diminished since the separation. Kyuubi Naruto glared at the blonde Naruto, "You're healing rate is crap?" he gestured at the bandages that adorned his body, "These injuries are so menial! I shouldn't be licking my wounds still! If I had my old form these wounds would be nothing! Any trace would already be gone and the hair already grown back!" Kyuubi Naruto was shouting by now, breathing heavily. Tsunade made a mental note, the Kyuubi Naruto had limited powers in it's current form and emotionally distressed because of it. There was a possibility that he could become unstable.
Naruto let out a large yawn and turn on his side, his back facing his doppelganger, "Weren't you bigger then the Hokage monument though?"
Kyuubi Naruto opened his mouth to argue, gaped, shut it, then laid back down in his bed. "Shut up. I'm tired Kit."
"Uh huh, me too." Naruto murmured, half asleep already. Another mental note, the separation has left both Naruto's feeling drained. Feeling like there wasn't much reason to still be there she quietly excused herself and went to find a nurse to make sure Naruto got at least some ramen so he wouldn't try to run away from the hospital before he was done healing.
Naruto rolled back onto his back and folded his arms behind his head. "Should we have told her?"
'That we don't have to speak to communicate? No. they don't need to know we've been in contact for a few years now, they might take it the wrong way.' the Kyuubi thought.
Naruto nodded, 'Alright.' then he blinked and began to chuckle, 'What?' the Kyuubi asked an eyebrow raising on his face.
'You need a name.'
'You and your village have always called me the Kyuubi no Kitsune. I see no reason that you must give me yet another name. Names are so… human.'
'Nah! Too long. Besides, I don't think that that name will endear you to many people.' Naruto let out a sad sigh, 'No, you need a name.'
'Kit, just go to sleep, if you're half as tired as I am--' But the Kyuubi was interrupted.
'Do you like Kitsuke?'
"Kitsuke?" the Kyuubi Naruto repeated aloud.
'Well? Do you?' Naruto asked.
The demon considered this. 'namai ... kirai ja nai.' (very loosely translated: I don't hate the name.)
Naruto chuckled softly in his doze. 'Alright, we'll tell Tsunade in the morning. You're name is going to be Kitsuke. She can come up with a last name.'
'I won't be an Uzumaki?' the red haired Naruto asked in a confused tone.
Naruto shrugged, whether he was just trying to get more comfortable or not, neither knew. 'Do you want to be?' The Kyuubi considered this.
'Why not? I'm human now, well.. Mostly human anyways. The thought that I'm not alone is appealing to me.' the Kyuubi thought, more to himself then anything, staring out the window to avoid looking at Naruto directly, because he could feel that the boy had turned over and was staring at him.
"You'll be my brother? We'll be a family?" Naruto said out loud, his happy tears evident in his overjoyed whisper that broke into an awkward squeak.
The Kyuubi heaved a heavy sigh as he rolled over to look at Naruto. "Sure. But I'm going to tell everyone I'm older then you."
"What? Why?" Naruto whined out loud, the newly named Kitsuke just smiled and got out of his own bed, he patted the blonde on the head in a very older brother-ish way.
'Because I have existed for millennia before your great grandparents. That's why. I'm your older brother.' he thought, trying hard not to smirk.
Naruto let loose another gigantic yawn. 'good night Kitsuke-nii.' he sat back down and the sudden quiet in Kitsuke's mind told him that Naruto had finally fallen asleep.
It didn't occur to him at once but just as he was drifting off to sleep, Kitsuke realized that Naruto had given up the fight over who would be the older brother very easily. It suddenly dawned on him that Naruto most likely had wanted Kitsuke to defend the idea that he was the older brother.
That he was Naruto's older brother.
'Oh, well. It's not as though I don't see the appeal of not being alone in this mess either.' and soon Kitsuke also drifted off to sleep.
End Chapter 1!
Hmm. A bit short. But I like where this came from, and where it's going to go. KyuuSasuNaru!!!! That is the pairing! Well, triple, it can't really be a pair can it? Other then that ... Sasuke in the next chapter.
-evil grin-
This'll be fun.
Be afraid. Be very afraid.