"Would you like anything to eat, miss? You've been sitting here for a while now."
"Huh?" Kim Possible blurted, blinking quickly to adjust to actual human contact. Maybe she dozed off. Her eyes fell on the ever-smiling waitress. Right. Coffee shop. Late. Very late.
"N-no thanks, a-actually, would you mind topping me off?" Kim sighed, pushing her glass mug forward, the black coffee rocking up and down the sides like waves..
"No problem, Kim!" the waitress gave her a thumbs up and took the mug over to the brewer.
Kim.
Huh.
She didn't remember telling the waitress her name.
She hadn't fought crime in — what? Three years now? Something like that. Yet people still clocked her as the famous Kim Possible as often as they did back then. Back then it was exciting, now it was just — she didn't want to seem ungrateful for the attention, but she was an adult now.
Where's your — uh — friend? they'd ask sometimes and she'd have to fight off rolling her eyes so she could smile and cock her head to give off some cocknbull response that made her skin crawl.
The fresh brew slid in front of her and the waitress paused for a moment, passing the ball into Kim's court. A bit of an expectant look in those glowing eyes, the right thing to do would be to make some casual joke about being the Kim Possible. Something about the never-ending battle or whatever. But she was too tired from a lifetime of disappointment to bother with it.
Her teenage self would have been so broken hearted to see her like this but hey — them's the brakes.
"Let me know if you need anything else," the waitress bowed back to the bar.
"Yeah, I will," Kim said automatically, lips folding around the rim of the cup.
The nutty liquid burned down her throat and as she breathed in this quiet victory, she remembered to feel. Her shoulders wound back, opening her chest, and the knot in her back loosened. She looked to her laptop.
Tomorrow — no, correction — today, was the day she would take her Bar exam.
She had worked so hard to reach this moment yet something about it was so lackluster.
It lacked — ah . . .
. . . Luster.
She missed Ron. It was one of those Gloomy Gus kinda days. Not that she needed him, and really it was just the collective whole of everyone she used to know, but Ron sort of tied it all together. Without Ron, she was just some serious adrenaline junkie. With Ron, it was endearing. As much as she had to yank his head out of the clouds, he did the same for her.
Gosh. You grow up with someone and you sort of take it for granted that you get to celebrate everything with them. But hey, that's adulthood for ya.
She was so ready to just kick back — a term we use loosely here — and become a Defense Attorney. No more teenzine interviews, no more think pieces on the failings of Team Possible, just regular ol' Kim who maybe one day will be able to slip into a coffee shop and go by unnoticed.
But tonight, this average girl hopeful was alone at a coffee shop when she probably should of been home, brushing her teeth with the calming sensation that she was ready. Her worn hands cradled a coffee mug that she likely already forgot about.
That's her alright. Boring old — washed up Kim Possible. The angsty adult with chronic pain and an anxiety disorder.
She was going to have to tip really well now that the waitress clocked her. As if she had money to burn off her museum tour guide salary. In addition to the studio apartment.
Don't you think you should try to room with someone like Monique, Kimmie?
No, I'll be okay, Mom. I honestly think living alone would be good for me right now. Gotta keep my head in the game, you know?
Which reminded her, she still needed to make that phone call to Mom — oh — wait, no it was past midnight. She would just have to remember for tomorrow. But she'd probably forget because tomorrow was her big day. Agh.
Well that felt bad. Maybe she should just cave in to instinct and email them. Oof. Even worse, Possible.
Her fingers spun the wooden stirring rod gently in the coffee, swirling it into a little whirlpool for no particular reason. Not like she added anything to the fresh brew.
How the mighty hath fallen. At least no one from her old life was there to see this disgrace.
She thought she was all that….
"But you're not!" a familiar voice echoed.
Eyes narrowing, she remembered a bad doctor that she had really hoped would stick true to his new allegiance after fighting together to quite literally save the planet.
But a few months ago after seven years of radio silence, with the exception of one troublesome incident towards the end of her undergrad, the Bad Doctor returned to form and began terrorizing the world once again. Just a little bit more aligned with the straight n' narrow.
No more take over the world vanity projects, no more Kazdrakkenstan or Drakkanada, no more evil lairs. His operation was a little tighter now, cleaned up and more focused on invention than industrial espionage or — outsourcing, as he would say. She missed that clumsy oaf.
She looked up from her murky beverage to see a disgruntled Drakken seated across her. She tried to blink him away but he remained. Probably a side effect of staying up for the past two nights.
Oh yeah. The sleeping disorder. That crept up on her too.
"Hey," Kim rasped.
"Hay is for horses, Kimberly Ann!" Phantom Drakken sneered with crossed arms.
"Uh huh," Kim nodded. She was not interested in taking any lip from this very bad man. "Can you tell me why you are back to basics? Like — you two had it all. The full pardon, the UN thing, the Global Justice offer — I just don't get it."
"Hohoho! Remember, Kimberly Ann…." Drakken pointed a wee-digit to the ceiling. "I'm the one doing this. Not you-know-who." He blew his finger out like a candle and folded his hands together. "Riiiiight?"
Kim frowned, elbows on the table now. It felt bad to be so accusatory but — well — she wanted these schemes to just be Drakken and Drakken alone. She had hope, there had been no real reported sightings of him — or her….
Shego that is.
They were friends now.
A soft red crawled to her cheeks at the thought. They had only seen each other once since the Lowardian Invasion seven years ago, yet somehow they managed to stay in contact, corresponding every few months with snail mail.
But Shego had been suspiciously private and vague since the Drakken bomb dropped.
If Shego was involved — Drakken back at it again was enough of a heartbreak.
The whole reason she got into law was because of them. Shego and Drakken proved to her that people could be redeemed. They could change, and suddenly super heroics weren't her bag anymore. It was once a thrill to be the one to lock up Senor Senior Sr. every time he launched a misguided attempt at villainy.
Now that she was older it just made her sad. Her work, while ultimately good, was just part of the cycle. She needed to save these people.
In the years following the Lowardian Invasion, Kim juggled missions and college and dating all at once, but her heart wasn't invested in any of them. For hours she'd lie awake at night, beaten, battered, and bruised, wondering why she couldn't just drift away. While disbanding Team Possible was a controversial decision taken very personally by people all over the globe, the night she pulled the switch was the same one that she actually slept well in weeks. Even though those days still give her high anxiety —
— "you need to stop worrying about what people want you to do, and reimagine your work as what you can do for them" —
— her therapist has told her many a time with varying intensity — anyways….
"All I needed to do was convince you to believe in our reform, and boy did you fall for it!" Drakken chortled.
One of her tinfoil hat theories. Made sense a hallucination would say that. So it was nothing she couldn't handle.
"You're not that smart," she smiled.
"Ooooh but I am," he sang softly. "I haven't been worrying about what you want from our brief friendship, but instead I've been reimaging my work as what I can do to destroy you."
Of course it made sense the hallucination would know absolutely everything about her, down to her strained therapy sessions.
And if Drakken was patient enough for the long game, then this was quite the way to break her, because there was no way she was throwing the black crop top and cargo pants on ever again.
Disbanding Team Possible scared her more than anything else, and was a decision she kept private for some time, continuing to embark on mission after mission with Ron, each skirmish forcing a momentary lapse in her feelings on the issue.
But the second she got home she would feel that dreadful cold all over again.
"You — you want to end it just like that, KP?" Ron asked with a frown. Kim looked up from the coffee to see a phantom Ron in place of Drakken.
"Yes, Ron. It's time," Kim replied, heat rising to her temple. "I — I don't want to keep fighting. It's the same battles every time. I want to try something different, see if I can work inside the system instead of at arms' length." A little hesitation. "I want to be a lawyer. Defense attorney specifically."
"Wow," Ron smiled, "Okay cool. I understand, so — I guess — we should shut the site down now?"
Kim blinked.
That was it?
"Ron, what?!"
Ron blinked back. What was she —
"Are you serious?!" Kim shouted. It was happening again. "That's it? You just lay over so I can do what I want?"
Ron struggled not to growl back, but Kim could see his shoulders rear back like a cat's.
"Kim, I'm — I'm supporting you," he said in that tiny voice of his.
"I know that but — " Kim groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose.
He started talking.
She raised a hand for him to stop.
He did.
Kim's teeth bit into her palm and she looked up at Ron sternly. "Do you have any idea how easy it is to be in a relationship with you?"
Ron frowned, sinking back into his seat. She just realized they were both standing.
"Shoot, sorry — I shouldn't — " Kim frowned, "No. I didn't say it last time. "
Kim slid back into her chair and folded her fingers over Ron's. He was about to cry, she could see it in the way his jaw folded up into his cheeks She gripped his hands but they were hollow. This wasn't real. Just a memory. But still — it was a chance.
"Ron, I can't grow with you," Kim said. He turned away and she dragged his hands closer. "Please. Listen to me. I need to be challenged — you need to be challenged. I love you but — "
"Go."
Kim snapped awake. "Just go," Exactly what he told her last time and this time even when she went off script. What good was it to yell at him for not trying hard enough at life? Her having to tell him that was exactly the problem.
Leaning back in her chair, she searched for a palette cleanser via her phone. Old texts from Ron did help from time to time.
Oh. No. That didn't help.
It was some meme from this game he gifted her the Christmas after they broke up.
"Hey, so while I've been taking the bus to Upperton for work, I've been really getting into this game — Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney, I think it could help you with — ya know — law….stuff."
She never played it and whenever prompted to talk about it via a meme, she always sent back some variant on the laughing emoji.
He seemed to buy it?
No. No, he didn't. No way. He knew her too well.
Honestly, the game would have been good for her. If it weren't for her dog, she would just sit around in her apartment for hours and do nothing. But something felt wrong about playing a video game. She was twenty five. Even in high school it felt bad.
She stirred the coffee again, wondering how Ron was doing wherever he was.
Probably playing video games. Hanging out with Felix at the Middleton Tavern or something. Not like she was doing much better in New York.
Beep-beep-de-beep!
Somehow that sound still got a rise out of her. Still made her want to go What's the Sitch, Wade? She rolled her eyes at the thought and glanced at her phone anyways. Was it Wade?
Was it something apocalyptic?
She'd take it.
This one time she would totally go back on what she decided for herself years ago.
Because that would definitely wake her up. But no, she was still looking at the texts from Ron. No notifications. Wait, so what was — oooooooooh — radio.
I'm your basic average girl
And I'm here to save the world
She forgot she had a theme song. Somehow. A little retro for this coffee shop to play though….another hallucination? Maybe. It was a tad on the nose.
She found her head bobbing to the beat so she got up with a start, unknowingly mouthing the lyrics under her breath.
The song got made for some talk show appearance a few months after the Lowardian Invasion. The producers recorded it as a gag to see how her humble, suburban demeanor would respond. But her reaction was pretty banal so they had to cut the bit.
Had I really been thinking about giving up for that long? Kim thought to herself.
What's worse is that's quitter talk! Ron had told her once while tied to a gigantic foam chalupa in a dark storage room.
And all of a sudden she was back there again: the moment that Ron confessed his feelings for her.
"Out there….in here," Ron flubbed.
She hadn't even been with anyone since the breakup but if she could take it back, she would. Save him the stress.
"POSSIBLE! NO SLOUCHING IN THE HALLS!"
A shiver ran up Kim's spine and she snapped back into the coffee shop to see the only teacher that ever seemed to work at Middleton High, Steve Barkin, waiting at her table, browsing through her notes. "Um — hi?" she waved nervously to him. He flashed a glance to her then turned back to the notes.
"You gotta get some sleep, Possible. You're not going to retain any of this if it's this late," he frowned, clapping a messy stack of papers against the wood.
Kim threw her hands on her hips. "Well I'm not so sure I'm going to pass anyways seeing how I'm hallucinating constantly."
Barkin raised a finger to make a point but decidedly nodded back to her and swallowed. "So….law school, huh? I'm impressed. Especially with Stoppable, that kid was always — "
"It's just me."
Barkin's face stretched into confusion as he threw a funny look her way.
"You should watch out for that," Kim joked. "You gave Ron that exact look Freshman year and he immediately decided to make you his arch-nemesis."
Barkin rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Well, it's good you're going down your own paths. Center will not hold and all that. But you need to go to sleep, Possible. Otherwise instead of passing that test, you're going to end up riding the slow pony into the rubber forest — "
Barken's lecture faded into the quiet mundane piano music that was playing off a generic Spotify playlist. Kim pulled her mug off the table and angrily brought it over to the bar.
The waitress had been replaced with a familiar looking bald faced men who tended to twiddle his fingers at all times. But Kim was too angry to notice at first.
"Hey, could you add make this coffee a black eye — " Kim started, her jaw quickly dropping, backing off, coffee spilling off the side of the mug and into her hand. She screamed and reared back as Frugal Lucre made a desperate dive over the counter to save the mug.
"You okay, Kim?" Lucre asked, grabbing a cup of ice for her without skipping a beat.
"Uh — yeah — wait — no — you're not — you're not real — are you?" Kim asked as the plastic cup slid in front of her. Her hand dove in, instanetous relief coming to her. Of all the phantoms to end up being real….
"Huh? Oh! Oh! Me! Yeah! This is me, I turned my whole life around, Kim! I moved out of my mother's basement and — " he proudly raised both hands and swung one finger up for his accomplishment. He paused and thought it over. "Well let's just say I'm a late bloomer, I turned over my old life and now I'm a barista here."
"Oh — wow, well," Kim frowned. She was already anxious and this for-real confrontation was definitely testing her stamina. "What are the odds? Heheh."
Lucre blushed. "Sorry I'm being too forward, you don't have to talk to me — "
"No, it's okay. You're being really nice, uh, I'm just — awkweird outside of the ol' uh — "
"I get it," Lucre cringed. "Eh, I'm a — a little — awkward too, oh what was that? Awkweird? What a strange phrasing, I like it though — ooh! Ooh! I feel awkward being introduced to that new word — "
Kim forced a smile. "So — you work here now?"
"Yeah," his normally frantic tenor fell into a sad baritone. "It took me a really long time to get out of prison after the whole stockbot fiasco. Like honestly, after a month I was ready to reform but ya know — you do the crime you serve the time I guess."
"I'm so sorry," Kim leaned forward. "You know, I'm on my way to becoming a lawyer now."
"Oh yeah? My mother wanted me to be a lawyer! Aw jeez, what am I doing here?! I'm a barista — oh well, she'll get over it. Should I tell her?"
Kim waited a moment. "Yeah." Lucre blinked. "And I'm doing this work so I can protect people like you, because your voices can be some of the strongest. You've seen the other side and know what it takes to stand here and — " Kim stuttered, she didn't expect to be so open hearted with the vienna sausage guy. But his bashful face kind of told her to keep talking him up. "You're important. Your story is important."
Lucre smiled and noticed the dark set of rings below Kim's eyes. "You gotta get some sleep."
"I know," she bowed her head.
"Look! I got just the thing for you. Dump the coffee, I want to make you a Chamomile Tea but aaah!" Inspiration hath struck. He raised a hand to halt Kim's objection. " — we're going do half hot water right? So it'll be really strong. And then once fully steeped after five minutes, I'm going to layer some steamed coconut foam on that bad boy. Pinch o' cinnamon and you'll be on your way to sheep city!" He smirked and before Kim could reply Lucre set off to work.
"You're an upper-seller alright," Kim grinned in that gentle, childlike softness of hers.
"That's my whole thing now! Frugal 'Upselling' Lucre! I'll call you over when it's ready."
Going to sleep now was a little scary, but Lucre was probably right. It was in her best interests to take the tea, finish up her studying, and then go home and pass out. Maybe she could sleep at school — it was way closer to the coffee shop than her lousy apartment was after all. She'd just have to break in somehow….
That was a fun challenge though. She had already ran Plan Alpha all the way to Epsilon in her head for fun. Epsilon would need a Ron-esque type for an assist but she was sure she could improvise something like it while flying solo.
Turning away from the counter, leaving a very generous tip despite her already light wallet, she sauntered back to the table. The fatigue hit immediately and she found her slide back into the chair to be unceremonious. She looked back to see Lucre hard at work and sighed.
At least he was fulfilled with his new job, and he set a much better example than Drakken on how redemption was possible. But still. That didn't — couldn't seal the gap. Not with her still out there. In here.
Kim never heard that old snide voice get to say any of these kind, delicate things to her, but she knew the woman well enough to play it through in her head.
Princess,
He hasn't reached out to me yet which is unusual for him — so clingy. So I haven't heard anything. I get why you're worried though. Sounds like he's been as organized as he was the night of the Li'l Diablos.
(Sorry about Eric by the way. I don't think we ever talked about it — once I can get out there. Don't know when. We'll talk about it though. And the other things you mentioned. About Ron and heartbreak and girls and oy, you're such a soap opera sometimes. You'll get through it. I promise.)
Last time, his game was to destroy you. He didn't even tell me what was up — and when he's on his own he scares me. This time? I dunno. I stopped trying to follow his wacked out schemes a while ago. You should too. Keep your head down, focus on your studies, this isn't your fault.
Can't come to your Graduation Dinner by the way. Sorry, on a job right now. Undisclosed locations and stuff.
Catch ya on the flippity, Kimmie.
You Know Who
She shouldn't have been so upset about Shego not being able to attend a dinner that was just bound to be awkward anyways. It would of been an unnecessary echo of a past she had separated from.
Yet still, she was a little heartbroken for a reason she couldn't quite place.
"So, what is it, K? You finally dumped the loser?"
"He's not a — I'm not talking about this with you," Kim spat at the teenage phantom Bonnie that had leaned back into the chair opposite her.
"Why? You gonna cry over him?" she licked her lips.
This wasn't fair. She hadn't seen Bonnie since that beach party following Graduation. There was no way she was still this catty, and even if she were, it's not like she would have gone out of her way for Kim. That alliance was frosty at best.
Kim looked into Bonnie's still eyes and blurted out, "Why do I have such bad relationships with all the women in my life?"
Bonnie smirked. She — or rather, Kim — already knew the answer to that question. But something about seeing the realization in Bonnie's eyes and not her own hurt. A lot.
"Aww, Kimmie sad that we can't be nice to each other?" Bonnie pouted.
"Kim, honey. you really do tend to take down the other women around you," her mother sighed from behind her. Kim looked up to see her mom standing tall, cheek rested against an open palm, fingers bent from worry.
"Kimmie-cub," her phantom father boldly announced while passing a steaming cuppa joe over to his wife, casually sliding an arm around her waist. "Your mother's been worried sick about you. Why haven't you called?"
Kim didn't really know what to say, she was hoping to sort things out with Phantom Bonnie before this fresh attack.
"Um — hello?! We were talking!" Bonnie grimaced. Kim flashed an angry look at Bonnie and got to her feet, marching up to the counter again. "Lucre, I'm sorry, but I gotta get going."
"Aw, Kim you gotta go? That's understandable it's very late, that reminds me I forgot to tell my mom I'm working late, aw anywho, let me wrap it up, I'll cup it to go!" Lucre waved, fingers smashing against each other excitedly. He frowned at the tea. "It's not ready yet — th-the — uh — tea hasn't steeped yet and — "
"It's okay, you can dump it, I'll just go home," Kim's voice was getting louder and louder as more and more voices echoed in her head.
"Running away from your problems just like you ditched your loser?" Bonnie sneered.
"Kimmie-cub, even when you were on missions you stayed in better contact with us," her father bleated.
"Kimmie, sweetie, can you please talk to us?" her mother said in that soft voice that just made Kim want to break down.
We'll talk about it though. And the
other things you mentioned. About Ron and heartbreak
and girls and
"No no no no, I can finish it, just gimme like — " a metal spoon clattered to the floor and Lucre jumped. "Oops, sorry, wait, just give me a chance to — ah! A-a-ah, o-okay, so — oh shoot! The cinnamon!" Lucre shouted, just about to hand the tea over to Kim. Just out of arm's reach, her fingers twitched inward, longing to latch onto that paper cup.
"Shoot, shoot, wh-where uh did I put the shaker, huh?" He looked over his shoulder. "Sorry, I'm still new, still learning the — "
"KP! You drink tea now?! I had no idea! Just uh — new stuff with you every time, haha. Hey by the way, can we talk?" Ron sighed.
"Possible, a fancy tea's not gonna make you pass an exam only COLD. HARD. STUDYING will." Barkin tutted.
"Ooh, you're just burning to give Lucre lip, aren't you? Go ahead, do it, for me," Drakken purred.
Can't
Can't make it to your graduation dinner,
sorry.
" — nyah, Kim, I'm sorry," Lucre wiped his forehead with his milk stained apron. "I get nervous sometimes and I — " he yelped as he accidentally spilled steamed coconut milk over his hand. "Oh shoot, I don't have enough foam, would you mind waiting twenty seconds while I steam more — "
"JUST GIVE ME THE DARN TEA LUCRE."
Silence fell over the coffee shop, chatter hushing as all eyes fell on her. It was just the music now.
Doesn't matter where
Doesn't matter when (doesn't matter when)
Because I am gonna be there
'Til the very end
The waitress came to Lucre's aid, already armed to cuss her out when Lucre meekly put up a hand. "It's okay, Helena, w-w-we have a history."
He looked over to Kim plainly. "Are you alright, Kim? I've never seen ya flip before, Drew always made you sound so irritatingly calm back when we were bunk mates, why did you know that he turned blue because — "
A dry lump cracked Kim's throat. She stood there stiffly. "I'm sorry Lucre. You — you should take the tea for yourself. You deserve it more than I do."
Lucre retracted, biting his lip.
"I'm not worth your time," Kim said dully.
"What did you just say, Princess?!"
Ah. Another phantom.
Kim turned on her heel and remembered exactly what she told Drakken that fateful evening three years ago. Mere weeks before the messy breakup and finals.
"You're not worth my time," Kim smirked, leaning against a pillar, as Drakken's lair shook dangerously from the force of his latest take-over-the-world-boom-boom-beam or whatever.
"Excuse me?!" Shego screamed.
"KP, what are you doing?" Ron shouted, waving his arms frantically, flopping back and forth with the rock of the lair.
"What happened to you, Drew?" Kim laughed. "I thought that after working in the Global Justice Lab you'd be a bit more inspired than industrial espionage — "
"Outsourcing!" Drakken corrected, but not with his usual opa.
"And you," her cold hard gaze fell onto Shego who was positively shaking from rage. "Back with him again? You know, I always thought you were better than this. It made me so sad to see you waste your life with him," she cooly jerked a thumb at Drakken. "But now I can see that you're as much of a loser as he is."
"Kim," Ron said softly, gently touching her shoulder. "Cool it, come on."
"No, Ron, I've had enough," Kim growled, eyes holding hard on Shego. "You've both had every opportunity thrown your way for rehabilitation and this is how you say thank you? You both make me sick."
The lair stopped shaking; Drakken had shut off the death machine himself. Kim didn't say a word and walked out of the lair. Minutes later, she was on a jet plane, holed up in the back reading a book when Ron slid in front of her.
"KP, what was that?" Ron asked with heavy concern.
"What they needed to hear, Ron. I'm sick of being let down."
"Is it something I did?"
"Not everything is about you, Ron — sorry, that's unfair," she put the book down and grabbed his face, pulling him in for a kiss. But it didn't make her feel any better.
Ron made a silent booyah to himself and seemed content enough.
Content. Ron was content, and now he was gone. That ship had sailed regardless of any lingering feelings.
The Phantom Ron kept talking to her but she only brought her knees up to her chest and got lost in a toxic train of thought — Ron wasn't the burnout; she was.
She waved her hand and somehow took command of her hallucination, a white void forming around her on all sides. Shego stood defiantly at the end. Still.
"How do I fix this, Shego?" Kim sobbed, cheeks too cold to feel the tears.
"Huh?" Shego turned and raised an eyebrow. "I'm not Shego, I'm Frugal Lucre."
Kim blinked and discovered that she had been sitting cross-legged on the floor across a kneeling Lucre, her arms squeezing him tightly, head buried in his shoulder
"I'm your barista, remember?" he asked. She slid from his touch and leaned back.
"Oh my gosh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry Lucre. I'm sorry — everyone, I —" Kim tried to brush the tears away. "I'm really tired."
"Oooh, you were having an episode! I get those sometimes, you know my mama — " he froze and winked at her. "My mama helped me out with them — you know if I call her —"
"It's okay," Kim forced a smile, "I just need some air. Hey, look." She handed him a twenty dollar bill. "Make me another one of those teas, would ya? I'll be back."
She pushed open the door and took in the brisk night air. It was pretty darn late and not many cars were left in the parking lot now.
"Court is now in SESSION!"
"Oh for crying out loud — "
Professor Dementor was seated behind a podium besides a street lamp. She rubbed her temples as a crisp and clean English voice began speaking. "Kim Possible….you stand here accused — "
Out of thin air, inch by inch, Monkey Fist materialized in the parking lot, strutting past her, dressed up in a freshly ironed burgundy suit. " — of making a mockery of your own legacy in the most toxic way possible." He flashed a devious grin at the mere thought of her sentencing.
He spoke dramatically to the air in his hands as he paced from left to right. "You've broken up with Stoppable, which broke his heart I'm afraid. You've made a mockery of your own team, and allowed your own rogue gallery to run amok. You've let down all the little girls that looked up to you, let alone the world."
Such bold claims. Just like some of the think pieces Wade tried to block her internet from accessing.
"Oh Fraulein," Dementor sighed, looking over the transcript of her final conversation with Drakken and Shego. "This is not a good look for you."
"Precisely, you're a sham, Kim Possible. You don't even deserve the title of hero. How can you possibly defend yourself?" Monkey Fist offered her a hand and retracted, taking a seat behind Kim.
Kim wound her shoulders back and took in a deep breath. This is what she went to school for after all.
"Look, I'm just your basic average girl," Kim said, biting her tongue the second she said it. Ugh, way too meta for her tastes. "Let me start over."
"Please do," Monkey Fist sneered.
Looking up to Dementor, Kim folded her hands together and remembered her mock trials from class.
She was a bit of a loose cannon in court, much more abstract than standards would like, eyes always on the prize, aiming big for the boldest claims which could only be reached through true ingenuity.
Hey, you literally swim with sharks and giant squids and fight them off and you'd start to think outside the box too.
"Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you: myself. Kimberly Ann Possible, age 25. A single girl living by herself in New York City. And I have a confession."
Monkey Fist waved his hand dismissively.
"I'm — I'm really flawed," Kim said. "I — " she froze, a little light going off in her eyes, and looked over her shoulder. "Hey it was good seeing you Monty but you aren't the hallucinations I even need to say this to."
"Oh VHAT? COME ON!" Dementor screeched.
Kim looked up at him. "Uh — did — did I do something to you?"
"Oh, jah, you gave me a funny look once," Dementor frowned, hands clutching the edge of the podium.
"Funny how that's going around," Kim flashed a funny look over at Monkey Fist who seemed deeply offended.
Kim shrugged and bowed back as Dementor and Monkey Fist swirled away into thin air, their colors blowing together and morphing into the form of Ron Stoppable.
"Uh — hi, KP?" Ron said, blinking in surprise, looking around the parking lot wildly. "Why am I in New York?"
Ron looked a little off. Every other phantom so far had looked how she remembered them. Ron was — he looked really good. A little slimmer with a bit of a mullet. The beginnings of a curly mustache and ruby earrings. Still with the baggy clothes though. Very cute nevertheless.
"I've been having a long night," she sighed. "And — I just want to — I know you're not real — "
Ron's eyed opened wide in a panic and he patted himself down in a frenzy, which was when Kim noticed that Ron's eyes were blue. Not brown.
Weird….
Trying to keep calm in front of her flustered ex-boyfriend, Kim spoke in a steady voice. "This is something I need to say to you, and I figured, while I'm freaking out," she mimed an explosion with her hand besides her head, cringing to soften the explanation to this weird phantom Ron. "I want to rehearse it. Is that okay?"
"KP, I — " Ron started, "We can't be together again. And — " he tugged the front of his shirt nervously. "If that's what you wanted to say, uh — I'm kind of in the middle of something — "
What was he talking about? Why was her subconscious framing Ron in such a neurotic fashion? This was so not one of her locked away insecurities surfacing explicitly in the voice of a loved one. Like Monkey Fist and the think pieces or Bonnie and her — um, girl problem….
She shrugged. Felt more like the real Ron at least. Made for a more real conversation.
"Well — no, that's not what I want. I know that we don't work together and I don't even know if I'm into — " Kim bit her tongue. Not the time nor the right person to say that to. Yet still, a little light went off in Ron's eyes and he already got what she was saying. "I'm sorry I was a bad — "
"Kim," Ron said in that irresistible gentle voice of his. "You're still way too hard on yourself, whatever you want to say is important. What are you not into?"
Kim froze and suddenly the confidence that she got facing the two bad guy lawyers crumbled. Some red came to her cheeks and she looked away.
"You can tell me anything Kim and I'll always be with you," Ron's voice was hitting the most boyish tenor of his already strained voice. He cringed and rubbed his neck nervously. "Not like — uh — together being with you lovey dovey — heh — like — um — friends?"
Kim nodded. "Okay…."
"Best friends."
Neither could speak past that, and the shared silence was as comprehensive of a moment as the entirety of their friendship.
"I'm bisexual," Kim rubbed her wrist. "And — I'm really into this girl right now. I've almost always been into girls and it's scary — I'm — " Kim's grip on her wrist became tighter, her voice shooting up an octave. "Wow, we're really talking about this right now, huh?"
"Did you always know?" Ron asked without thinking.
"No — it's just — you know how I always gave you a hard time for being too childish?" Kim asked, her heart pounding.
"Yeah, and um — I get that, Kim, I really do, I still haven't grown up," Ron wasn't able to meet her eyes. "You can do way better than me. You were always more mature than — "
"Ron, please," Kim managed to choke out and as he looked up to her he saw her eyes swimming in tears. "I think I grew up too fast."
She clamped her eyes shut and ducked her head down. Within seconds, she felt a warmth that she should have never been able to feel through auditory and visual hallucination. But it was there. And she was clearly losing her mind.
"I'm such a headcase, Ron," Kim sobbed. "I have an anxiety disorder, a sleeping disorder, this chronic pain thing — and — and — I have no friends in New York and — I — I guess, I'm like — I'm scared. I'm still scared."
Ron leaned back a bit. "It's okay to be scared. You think I'm not? Tell me about this girl, Kim. I bet she's great, it's okay."
"I shouldn't — it's not like it'll ever — " her tears were shining, and she imagined her already tarnished reputation collapsing even more inward.
"Ron, I'm in love," Kim shook her head. "With the wrong person, we can't — but I like — " she pulled on her hair.
"KP, you need to get out there. So many girls would kill to be with you."
"You think so? Shoot!" Kim's hands swung out and swatted Ron off her. "Sorry, let me collect myself, I really didn't want to cry, I've hurt you so much as is and I — I just need a good rehearsal. I promise I'm going to call the real you tomorrow and — "
"Kim," Ron said slowly. "Go back into the coffee shop. Please and thank you."
Kim's eyes darted back and forth. "I can usually read your intent better — but right now — "
"Just trust me."
And like the rest he faded. But somehow, Kim felt more awake than ever. She marched back into the coffee shop and immediately locked eyes with Lucre. He handed her the tea and bid his good nights as Kim turned to see —
— a total stranger sitting at her table, hands near her purse and everything.
"Hey!" Kim shouted and motioned at all the other tables this dude could have sat at. She was so flustered she could barely speak as she whipped her jacket off the chair he was sitting in. He flashed a sheepish grin and she shook her head.
He was tall and pencil thin with springy black hair, the ragged ends of his mullet tied back. A scar ran right from the corner of his left eye.
"Do — do I know you?" Kim asked, trying to fight off the fragility in her vulnerable voice.
The man only smiled wider, cracking a huge grin that revealed jagged teeth.
"Kimberly Ann," he said in a deep, nasally voice.
The lump in her throat shot up like the bell of a strongman game and plummeted into her stomach. Blinking rapidly, she slid into the seat across him.
"You're a hallucination, right?" Kim asked in a quiet voice.
"Nope," Drakken said proudly. "I'm the real deal. Fo shizzle K'pozzible."
Kim frowned. Definitely Drakken. Although she was surprised that in seven years he hadn't considered updating his colloquialisms and slang. Then she remembered l33t speak and became thankful.
"Um — well — you look good, I guess?" Kim offered, teeth clenched. "Yeah — so — you're not blue anymore, huh? When did that happen?
"Ah!" Drakken cried out, waving his finger in the air. "Funny story actually, well, not funny ha ha but… it was a Tuesday."
Drakken smiled eagerly at her. Kim blinked, and then dismissed his story with a wave. "Sorry, this doesn't — " she froze, noticing Drakken's intense frown and in a gentler tone added, "You can tell me later — what are you doing here? I thought you were busy trying to take over the world again."
"No, and I'm sad that you believe that hullabaloo," Drakken replied in a tone that immediately put Kim's anxieties at ease.
She took in a deep breath that actually processed in her body for once.
"So why is your name all over the news?" she asked.
"That's why I'm here," Drakken replied in a patient tone so very much unlike him. "Demenz is why!"
"Demenz?" Kim's eyebrow arched.
"Oh that's Dementor!" Drakken grinned. "He uses a fake name — can you believe it?"
"Uh — yeah, I know that, I meant more like — why would he do that? Wait. Actually….".
Grandeur visions of global conquest? Check.
Using stolen technology? Check.
Making a mockery out of Drakken whenever possible? Check.
Totally Dementor's M.O.
"Okay, I believe you," Kim leaned back and got comfortable in the chair.
"He's been using my cooler, evilier name to get the spotlight off himself!" Drakken cried out, then quickly covered his mouth. "Usually Shego would remind me to use my inside voice…."
"Yeah," Kim frowned, breaking eye contact, that soft red crawling back into her cheeks. Drakken, not one to detect social queues, thankfully missed it. Kim's voice dropped to a forcibly casual murmur. "How is she doing anyways?"
"How am I supposed to know? She never calls, she never writes," Drakken moaned. "Doesn't even give me lip…." But then he looked up and in an unusually soft voice added, "You're the first one to believe me, you know."
Not even Shego was suspicious of Drakken's true alignment. That must hurt.
"I can't do anything to help you though, Drew, I'm not busting through skylights anymore. I'm a — "
" — lawyer, I know. I want you to be my defense attorney."
"Tsch, no you don't!" Kim laughed. But Drakken only smirked. "Oh, oh — oh, you're serious. You — me? Don't you — don't you hate me?"
"Hate you? No, you saved me," his voice was so warm that it made her think of the uncle she never had. Which made sense given his terse past with her father.
Kim's heart just about jumped into her throat. "N-no, I didn't — are — are you sure?"
Drakken nodded slowly.
"Kimberly Ann, I need your — "
She couldn't believe this was happening. She almost needed to stall so she could truly process it.
"For starters, it's Kim. Please and thank you," Kim tossed some finger quotes on as a honorific. "Kimberly Ann makes you sound like a bad guy."
He raised an eyebrow. "You are good!"
She shrugged. "It's what I do. Do you have any proof it's Dementor?"
"Well, he did give me a funny look a few years ago. Beyond that, well, hrm, Kimber—" he froze and shut his eyes. "K-K-Kimber-nyeh. Mm. K-kiiiiiim. Ann. No! Kimberly — nyeh! Kim! Kim! Okay. Kim Kim got it! I know it's him because only he could come up with such delicious villainy! Why if I were still out there gunning for you, why — I wish I thought of it."
"Bad guy talk," Kim put gently.
Drakken frowned and questionably pointed a finger at himself. Kim could only nod.
"Okay — well, let's start from the beginning then — " Drakken began.
"OBJECTION!" A shrill voice screamed from outside. The duo's heads whirled to the door just in time to see Ron step in with a finger jabbed at Drakken.
Dressed to the nines for once, Ron wore a dark blue suit with his hair slicked back into spikes. Probably something to do with that game he sent her.
Kim forced a laugh, Ron raised an eyebrow.
Oh dang. He's onto me.
And in that uncomfortable moment, Kim realized Ron's eyes were blue like in the halluci — oh no.
Ron looked harshly to Drakken. "My client has a Bar Exam to pass tomorrow! No lawyering — uh — stuff can be done until that happens!"
"You told me she already passed the Bar," Drakken spat in a poorly directed aside.
"HAHA!" Ron forced. "Oh — OH HAHA! I said she would — pass the — uh — bar of success!" He tugged on his tie and looked over to Kim, cringing. She cringed back. Same old same old.
Drakken remained silent as Ron's hands slid into Kim's.
"Hey," Ron smiled in that crackly voice of his. "You ready to do this?"
"Do — what?! Ron, why are you here? It's late," Kim asked. Ron opened his mouth to explain, but Kim cut him off, "You set this up?!" Ron nodded eagerly.
His smile wasn't the one she was used to. It was as if he was trying. Like really hard.
That lightness she felt before returned and her hands felt light. "I'm going to say something that might be crazy, but I'm pretty sure you used your powers to find me here and managed to cross into my — um — "
Ron blushed. "Yeeeeah, sorry, I didn't realize your head was going to be so — uh — not holding to its center."
Drakken looked between the two of them. "You two look like you haven't seen each other in years."
"We haven't," Kim deadpanned. "We broke up."
"Youza!" Drakken yelped, "I'll — uh — I'm going to grab a — want anythi — is that Frugal Lucre?!"
"DREEEEEEEEEW!" Lucre cheered from behind the counter. "YOU OL' SO AND SO!"
Ron traced Kim's temple and sat across her. "I'm not mad at you, Kim. You don't have to apologize, I didn't even consider that you had problems too, I'm sorry."
"And I took my insecurities out on you, neither of us deserved that," Kim looked into her lap. "Can you please not tell anyone?"
"What? That you said sorry?"
"No," Kim flashed him a stern look and Ron double-taked before nearly blurting out Kim's secret. He thankfully caught himself in time and mimed zipping his lips. "I would never."
"Thanks," Kim responded, her voice crinkly like gift wrap.
"Do I know her?" he asked casually.
"It's not gonna happen, Ron," Kim said flatly. "I appreciate you trying. Friends?"
"Always got your back, KP."
His warm hand slid into her cold one and they turned back to Drakken who was already bonding with Lucre.
"This guy ova here!" Lucre laughed, clapping his knees. "Whenever I'm with him, I laugh so hard!"
Drakken smiled over the ruckus and offered Kim a thumbs up. At her eyebrow raise, he began to angle his thumb down very slowly, eyes very intent on catching her attention. When the thumb slid into the midpoint and was parallel to the floor, Kim nodded. He offered a weak smile.
"Hey," Kim said softly. "Do you three want to come to my graduation dinner tomorrow night?"
"OH! OH! OH! I'D LOVE TO!" Lucre decreed; Drakken and Ron were excitable but even together they could not overpower his sheer audacity. "I KNOW A GREAT PLACE!"
"Okay!" Kim chimed. It was okay. She was going to need to cancel the other dinner anyways. No one in that party was coming.
"Sooooooooo….we'll talk after dinner tomorrow?" Drakken asked nervously.
"Of course," Kim smiled. "Thanks Drak."
"'Ey, no problemo — Kim? Kim!" he assured himself. Drakken flashed some sort of stylin' cool guy hand lingo and strutted out the door.
"Hey, KP, it's pretty late," Ron said. "You live close to here?"
"Nah," Kim frowned. "Shoot, I'm like an hour away."
"Your college is near here though, right?"
"Yeah, why do you — ooooooooooh," Kim smirked at Ron's raised eyebrow. He wanted to bust in. "I've thought about this actually. I needed a second person for Formation Epsilon so let's do it."
"Booyah!" Ron cheered and the two stepped out the door together. "Y'know, KP, I gotta say, I was kinda worried about coming here and talking to you. I figured there'd be a bunch of Psyche-Locks I'd have to push past to get through to you."
Pause.
Gulp.
Kim folded both hands into Ron's and looked into his blue eyes and bizarre haircut.
"Kim?" Ron asked.
"Ron, I didn't play those games you gifted me."
Ron's face fell.
"Oh KP."