Disclaimer: Don't, have never, and never will, own House M.D. Nor did I write the song, all of the credit goes to Linkin Park for that.
AN: Sorry, I'm reposting this; it got deleted because I was polling, my bad. It won't happen again. Even if you don't know the song, I strongly suggest reading the lyrics for better understanding. So, enjoy, and don't forget [rereview and [refavorite!
Telling me to go
But hands beg me to stay
"Don't forget your coat," says Cameron, still lying in bed.
"All right," you reply awkwardly. "Bye then." You feel the need to add this as you stand in the doorway, wishing she'd at least look at you.
"Bye. See you tomorrow," she says simply, her eyes now scanning a magazine from the bedside table.
You leave, wondering how she can throw you out like that, every time. How she can cling to you like life depended on never letting go, then push you away coldly minutes later, as if you disgust her.
Your lips say that you love
Your eyes say that you hate
The two of you go through all of the motions as lover, simply without the love. Friends with benefits. But are you even friends?
Her hungry kisses leave you thirsting for more, but her eyes are always so cold, so withdrawn. They don't try to convince you of false compassion like her body does. They show nothing. Perhaps they're the only things about her that realize this isn't right.
Uncomplicated sex. Or anything but.
There's truth in your lies,
doubt in your faith.
What you build you lay to waste.
This whole relationship (or lack of one) is built on lies. It's built on commitment, on trust, on love. But there's none of that. There's no strings attached and the marionette's simply lying broken on the ground.
There's truth in your lies,
doubt in your faith.
All I've got's what you didn't take.
She takes the pleasure out of flirting, the innocence out of being alone together. People underestimate her; write her off as the good-doer, because she's nice, she's pretty. Only you know how far from that she really is. And it's almost sick, how wrong this is, how you don't stop it, you can't stop it…
So I / I won't be the one
be the one to leave this
in pieces.
You want more. You don't want to be a part of this broken relationship. You don't want to be sleeping with someone who's trying to make her boss jealous. You want less.
And you / you will be alone
alone with all your secrets
and regrets.
Don't lie.
You tell her it should stop. It's gone too far and you want to fix the mess she's made before it's too late. She thinks you're scared of getting caught, but really you're scared of how badly this can end up being. She mocks you, but won't break it off. And you don't protest because as much as you want it to be over, you never want it to end.
You promise me the sky,
then toss me like a stone.
"So I'm thinking we should have sex."
How wonderful it had seemed at first. All of the benefits of sex with no drawbacks. No dull conversations about nail polish, no over-the-top deep conversations about inner feelings. (No morning after snuggling with a warm cup of coffee, no intertwining fingers to let everyone know she's yours…) Every man's dream. Except you're not like every other man. You think you really love this girl as much as you hate her. Hate her for being so emotionless through this all while you're the one who needs to talk about feelings. You hate her for making you love her.
You wrap me in your arms
and chill me to the bone.
It's almost too much to bear. She flirts with you and you flirt back, hoping for more than you know she'll ever give out. And she clings desperately to your sweaty, exposed body, both of you gasping for life, but all you feel is numb. She's taking advantage of you. The cold night air nips at your sweaty skin as you leave, a feeling surely bitter to anyone who's not as insensitive as you. The thought of what you're doing makes you burn with a mix of embarrassment and fury. She feels nothing emotionally, you feel nothing physically. You're not doing this for yourself anymore, or even for the two of you. It's all for her. You don't want this. You drive home and take an icy shower, a poor attempt to bring your sense back to life.
There's truth in your lies,
She tells you women can separate the physical from the emotional. (In this case, you get one, she gets the other.) You know it's a blatant lie, but you also know she seems to defy almost everything you've believed about her. You don't respond, because you know under this set of circumstances, she's right.
doubt in your faith.
Cameron has very little faith. Absolutely none in God and very little, if any, in you. She used to trust more, too much, but she's since learned to not trust at all. She doubts in herself, but she doubts in you as a human more.
All I've got's what you didn't take.
Love.
She takes total advantage of you and she knows it. She chose you because she knew you'd never be able to turn her away. And she was right. She knows it's not easy to walk away from love, and she knows you're not strong enough to. She gets the pleasure, you get the leftovers.
Love.
So I / I won't be the one
be the one to leave this
in pieces.
And you / you will be alone
alone with all your secrets
and regrets.
Don't lie.
"It was fun. That's it. And now it's over." She gives you that look, the one that normally would cause you to run to her, catch her hand, and tell her to forget about it. But not this time. This time, the thought of her touch makes you recoil in disgust.
You can't lie to her. It's all you've ever wanted for her to stop lying to you, to take down her façade she puts up every day as she wakes up. So you don't follow her. If there's one thing you're not, it's a hypocrite. You stand and watch her for a moment, finding a glimmer of cruel delight seeing her alone. Alone with her feelings for you, whether love or hate you don't really care now, and every regret she's ever had about your entire relationship. An odd satisfaction, knowing you've finally gotten through to her.
If you can't have the whole puzzle, then what good will half the pieces do? So you throw them away.
You're done with her.
So I / I won't be the one
be the one to leave this
in pieces.
And you / you will be alone
alone with all your secrets
and regrets.
Don't lie.
(To yourself.)
AN: A bit different from anything else that I've written, but let me know what you think!