We're not falling in love. We're just falling apart.
A/N This is my first fic everyone. Be harsh with your reviews if need be, but I don't want stupid crap. Constructive critisism please. Lol. I'm serious though, this is my FIRST.
The sun, rising in the east with a dark red color. Illuminating the desert, reflecting the rays upon and off the rolling waves of sand. Solemnly, silently he stands there. Watching over what's precious to him. Arms crossed, eyes sharp. Seemingly uncaring, but anyone that knows him understand that to be untrue. They still fear him, and he knows this. Just never letting it show. Although sometimes, their respect leaks through. Still staring at his village, the sun warms his face as it is set like stone. The wind blows his red hair softly; so much that you can't even hear it moving. It seems as if the fine strands have been tainted with blood it's so dark. After the day's light was heating the desert to an uncomfortable degree, the figure turns and starts walking down, to the village. His coat flails out around him as his movements, which are distinctly graceful, were quick and short. This is how he starts every day. This is the life of Sabaku No Gaara.
Far away, in the Village Hidden in the Leaves, a blonde boy is walking down to the office of his Hokage, Lady Tsunade. Touching the doorknob, turning it, and walking in. The woman at her desk looked up and slowly folded her hands in front. "Naruto, it's good to see you." She said. Naruto's expression was bright and smiling as always. "Hey Granny Tsunade, I guess it's nice to see you too. Now, to get straight to business. I am assuming you have a super hard mission for me? Since I'm a super amazing ninja that is." Slowly, Tsunade's eyebrows rose up. Trying to keep her expression under control, you could tell how strained her voice was. "Well, yes Naruto. I have come to assign you to a long term mission though." As well, Naruto's face dropped a little when he heard the words "long term". His voice was steady and even when he asked Tsunade what was already hovering in the air. "How long? And where am I going?" Naruto asked quietly. Tsunade couldn't help but smile a little because she knew he would most likely enjoy this one. Sitting up straight and looking very professional, she spoke. "You will be going to the Village Hidden in the Sand, Sunagakure. You'll solely be going as a missionary and personal assistant of the Kazekage. As for the time span, a year at least. I may extend your time if I find you doing well at your post." It was almost impossible for Tsunade to keep herself from smiling, but she still kept a straight face. Slowly, Naruto nodded in acceptance and backed out of the door. Once he got out of the door, the hyperactive ninja broke out into a run down the hallway. Still moving excitedly to his apartment, he needed to pack the bare essentials and leave. With his bag packed, he took one last look at the picture of his team. Team Seven. He finally had to leave them behind. Smiling, Naruto walked out of his house and looked around at Konohagakure for a long time. Finally, with the sun making his hair shine a bright yellow, just as a dandelion is in the spring time, he had to start walking or else it would take him four days to get there instead of the usual three.
Approximately, two and a half days later, Naruto appeared at the gates of Suna tired, dirty, and still smiling. You could tell that the gate guards were surprised at seeing him there so soon. They had received word from the leaf village's Hokage that their new delegate should be arriving sometime but never this early. Slowly a man walked up to Naruto, he introduced himself as Captain Semar. He had hair like the sand around them and eyes almost as black as night. And yet, he seemed small for his rank, so Naruto wasn't surprised when he found that the Captain spoke softly. "You must be here from the Leaf. I shall show you to your quarters once we report to the Kazekage. He shouldn't be too busy, so he'll see your now." With that Naruto, nodded in understandment and the small Sand jounin started walking towards the very large building in the middle of the city.
Semar knocked very politely before a quiet, but controlled, voice said, "Come in." Naruto tried to keep his composure as he walked through, but it was impossible, seeing as the Kazekage was none other than Gaara himself. Being shocked, Naruto's jaw had dropped. "Y-you're the Kazekage, G-Gaara?" Naruto stammered out. Gaara just stared at him then glanced down at his clothes, returning his gaze back to Naruto as if to say, "Look at what the hell I'm wearing." Letting out a small laugh and regaining his happy, enthusiastic smile, as usual, Naruto seemed to drop his guard some. "Well, that's nice. I've heard some really amazing things about the Kazekage. People are actually starting to respect him." Naruto said while stepping up and standing right in front of Gaara's desk. Finally Gaara stood up himself and said something. "Naruto, you will be staying with me at my house because I have a spare room. Also, it'd be much more comfortable than the barracks. So I am assuming you'll have no objections." He said, eyes practically drilling a hole through Naruto's skull. Then of course, being the idiot he is, Naruto gave Gaara a mock salute and grinned down at the shorter man. Solemnly they both nodded in a silent agreement. Quiet, and slow, Gaara turned around in one grace-filled movement. Naruto felt he was being dismissed, so he left without another word.
He had never been loved, by anyone. He was so along and yet he kept going. Gaara does feel love, from himself, towards his village and the people that live in it. Yet, it's not the love you would feel for one specific person, but maybe that of a mother. Instantly he felt pain at the thought. Even after all this time, his wounds still haven't healed. Almost unnoticeably, Gaara sighed and sat at his desk to finish off the rest of his paperwork.
Just a little ways away, Naruto was off in the town, walking around to try and find a ramen bar in the new place. That smell. He knew that smell. On a dime, Naruto turned and stared straight at what he came toe realize, as a ramen bar. Barreling towards it the blonde ninja almost ran over a grandma and a dog. Well you know now, he got plenty of stares for that one. After ordering three bowls of pork bone ramen, Naruto paid and left. He was on a mission to find Gaara's house. "It has to be impossible in a village this big! I'll never find it before nightfall!" exclaimed Naruto, a frustrated look on his face. Very slowly he took a step forward, and sensed no danger. You could never be sure in this place, outsiders weren't exactly welcome. Naruto just couldn't help it, he kept looking around. Hoping for a clue as to where to go. "How horrible this is." He thought, still wandering around aimlessly in the sand city. Naruto turned on a corner and there he was. Learning against the wall, eyes closed. The sun playing across his stone set face, wind rippling through blood red hair. The blonde boy didn't realize it, but he was staring. Naruto all of a sudden saw it. How perfectly flawless Gaara's skin was. No scars at all. How the kanji stood out like blood on snow. He wanted to feel it, the smoothness. Gaara sharply opened his eye, somehow automatically having them pinned on Naruto already, as if he knew he was there. The cold ice blue color made him want to shudder, but he also started to feel a little warm inside. "I knew you'd get lost." There was that flat, controlled voice again. "How did you know?" Asked Naruto. It looked as if the edge of Gaara's mouth twitched, like he was going to smile. "Well, very simply, you didn't ask for directions to my house." He stated, a very faint hint of amusement in his voice. Fortunately, Naruto was able to stop himself from laughing long enough to give Gaara a slight bow of respect. Although, to Gaara's unknowing, Naruto was only doing it to hide the blush on his face. After a few moments of that position, he straightened up and regained some of his dignity, making sure all the heat was gone from his skin before showing it to his new employer. "Why does this boy act so strange?" The red haired child thought to himself. "Things seem so complicated within him. So complicated in deed." Gaara concluded this with an exhausted sigh. This did not go unnoticed by Naruto. He looked over with concern and question in his eyes. Slowly, Gaara turned away and started walking down the street. The blonde assumed that meant they were going to his house now.
When they got there, Naruto has worked up quite a sweat, considering this was the hottest part of the day. But unlike the other, Gaara was still as dry as he was two hours ago when they first saw each other in his office. He could barely understand it. How would someone wearing a full length coat and long pants be able to stay so cool? Not to mention the gourd on his back had to affect him somehow. "Oh well. I guess that's just another one of life's great mysteries." Naruto stated. Running into the back of Gaara, he just noticed that they had stopped in front of a building. "So we're here already? I didn't notice. Sorry." Gaara just plainly gave him a blank look and silently opened the door. Inside it was cooler, the decorations simple, but elegant. There was a narrow hallway in front of them, to the left and right were a few doors. At the end, was what seemed to be a kitchen. A dry, raspy laugh was emitted from Naruto's throat as he thought about it. Gaara, cooking. Those two words didn't belong in the same sentence together. I guess he would drink coffee or something like that. Maybe his siblings lived here too, that's why it was needed. Who really knows? Padding behind the Kazekage, the Leaf ninja just stared at his back, as if it was the most interesting thing since sliced cheese. Finally, they reached the end of the hallway and Gaara turned left, grasping the doorknob with such fierceness Naruto thought it was going to break. "Well, here is your room Naruto." Gaara said with that dull, cold voice. "Thanks…" Naruto exhaled, seemingly distracted by something else while the other boy spoke. Quickly, with controlled force the red haired boy opened the door and pushed it so Naruto could go through and look inside. Without another sound, Gaara turned and walked into the kitchen. Most likely to let his guest inspect the room and try to get comfortable in it. Slowly enough, Naruto set down his bag and sat on the bed with it at his feet, unpacking all his things very slowly. After about twenty minutes of doing that, he was done. The sets of clothes he had, put away, and his personal belongings that he dare not leave behind, put up somewhere safe. He was focused on staring at the door, as if it would move or something. Quietly the Leaf Nin gets up and walked into the kitchen himself. There was Gaara, sitting at a small table in the middle of the room. As he had thought earlier, Gaara did drink coffee, because that was what he was consuming now. Black as coal though. Their eyes met in a quick flicker, then turned to other things. Naruto's to the coffee and Gaara's to the wall. With a slight drag in his step the larger man walked over to the cabinet and got himself a coffee cup, turning to pour his own while it was still steaming fresh. Unlike Gaara, Naruto liked his coffee white almost. Just a little coffee with his sugar and cream. They sat together at the table, eyes never meeting, but you could just feel the tension between them. They sat like that for a few hours.
Quietly Gaara got up and set his cup in the sink, looking over towards Naruto and saying, "I have to go patrol the village now." That dead, controlled voice. Those dull, flat eyes. Naruto just nodded in response and let the reset of his drink slide down his throat. "Alright Kazekage-sama." He said simply. A look of surprise crossed the younger mans face before he returned it to that stone stare once again. "Don't call me that. The reason I wanted you for my missionary was to not be another sycophant." Gaara practically hissed, a glare reaching the blue, livid eyes of his subordinate. "Whatever you say Gaara." A smirk played across Naruto's face as he watched Gaara walk slowly from his own home, leaving the blonde to sit and contemplate about the things he was feeling.
The hours passed with no avail, and the desert sun set. It grew cold. So much colder than Naruto expected, considering how hot it got during the day time. Shivering slightly, he got up and went over to make another pot of coffee. This was his second one today. Maybe he was getting addicted to it or something. He could barely understand. Naruto, being the idiot ninja he is, jumped at his next idea. "I'll go take a walk!! That'll warm my body up! Maybe I can even run some." Stated the hyperactive bundle of annoyance. The people walking by were a blur, the wind whipping gently but fiercely across his face. Dodging, turning and jumping. Just to avoid all the people. Rounding a corner. Kick it into another gear, straight towards the ramparts making the barrier between the desert and Suna. He jumped up and came to a sudden stop. Looking around at the landscape before him. The moon, large, round, and glistening was watching over Naruto. He was breathing heavily, and trying to get that under control. His smile was wide and brilliant though, body feeling pleasantly exhausted. "Maybe I should do this every night when it gets cold." Naruto thought to himself. Walking over and leaning against the ramparts, staring fixedly at the rolling desert. He didn't even notice anyone else there until they stood next to the blonde baka. "Oh Gaara, I didn't see you there. What are you doing out this late?" Naruto asked with a quizzical expression on his face. "Apparently. Don't forget, I can't sleep Naruto. That's why I take up patrolling the area late at night as well as in the afternoons too." He said with a small layering of sadness to his voice. "Oh." Seemed to be the only word that fitted at the time. So he left it at that. Choosing not to say anything else until the Kazekage did. Slowly, Naruto turned around and looked over at the village, his home now. The thing what was soon to be precious to him. The only thing that Naruto could think of. For some reason, the blonde ninja could only feel a twang of pain in the air as though his redhead friend was thinking of something unpleasant. "Gaara, what are you thinking about?" Asked the blonde boy quietly. Gaara looked extremely shocked before he regained his composure along with that mask of unreadable emotion. He spoke very quietly, voice tight and controlled as if it was hard to speak at all. "The village is so peaceful at night. I envy them so. That is what I am thinking." Naruto couldn't really help himself, looking over and staring at the redhead. "Oh. That's an interesting thing to think about." With eyes narrowed down to slits, Gaara didn't move while he mumbled a few last words. "In the dead of night, even I wish for the peace of their dreams." With the moon over their heads, Naruto left him in peace. Going back to his house and laying upon the bed. Staring up at the ceiling with a hateful discontent. "Why is Gaara always so secretive? He's so closed up and silent. I wish he would just open up. I'm his friend after all, aren't I?" Naruto sighed heavily, closing his eyes and drifting into a deep, dreamless sleep.
Out in the desert he stood alone again. His eyes closed with the wind whipping around him fiercely. "I am alone." Were the almost inaudible words that passed from his lips, but they became lost in the wind. The sand was caressing his face as if it was a lover. So soft and gentle, but still rough and jagged.
"Why is it so hot out here? I mean come on, Kono-….I'm not in Konoha anymore, am I?" Naruto's eyes were focused on the sunlight streaming into his room through the window. "Geez….Stupid sunlight." Slowly enough, he got out of his bed and walked over to the dresser, pulling out his usual jumpsuit, although it now had some new additions to it. Black up on the shoulders, plus it was bigger than before because he had grown some. Groaning as he put it on, Naruto almost fell over onto his face because this early, he was definitely uncoordinated. "Too early….Too flipping early." He grumbled, while stepped out into the hallways, heading down to try and find a bathroom. With a lazy motion, he opened the door and stepped inside. A yawn escaped him as the not-so-hyperactive ninja reached out and grabbed his toothbrush. Quietly and quickly he brushed his teeth then washed his face off with some cold water to help wake himself up. It wasn't working to well. Naruto took one step outside of the bathroom when he was finished and screamed. It matched that of a girls, all high pitched and drawn out for no reason. There stood Gaara, being stony faced as usual. Not moving, but suddenly looking a little surprised at seeing Naruto sprawled out upon the floor. "What are you doing down there?" He asked quietly, his gaze and tone dead as usual. The blonde looked up and glared at the Kazekage. "Well if it wasn't for you sneaking up on me, I wouldn't be down here." Gaara turned and walked away down the hall into the kitchen without response. Naruto couldn't help but jump up and stammer off after him. "You know, you can be so inconsiderate sometimes Gaara! I don't understand you!" Gaara did nothing but turn around and glare at the other boy. "You're not supposed to understand me Naruto. I'm more complex that you could ever being to comprehend. I keep these things locked up inside for a reason you know. It's to keep the people of Suna and others like you from getting hurt. I'm the most dangerous thing to ever be wrought upon this hell I call home. So for once in your life, shut the hell up Naruto." His gaze was cold, eyes in slit and piercing. The blonde ninja stared into Gaara's eyes. An expression of rage and sympathy contorting his face, trying to hide his true feelings. Gaara was a torn and pained creature. Naruto was one of the few to actually be exposed to this side of him. The hurt, dying part inside.
After that, Gaara left to do his duties that came with being the Kazekage. Naruto simply decided to go and train at the only place in Suna he knew of that Shinobi actually went to practice in this dust hole. There were four thick, wooden poles to use. They looked used and worn away with the time, but just as good as any other he'd ever seen. Heck, training was training. You used what you could. Very easily, Naruto decided to do ten laps around the area to get warmed up. Then he would do five dozen punch-kick combos. Without a word he started on his training regime.
"Fifty-eight. Fifty-nine. Sixty." He said, panting and wiping the sweat from his head. This heat was definitely something he had to get used to. "I think I'll go eat some lunch somewhere." With a mocking smirk, he laughed quietly at himself. He knew there was no where else he was going to eat except the Suna ramen shop. Quietly strolling down the street, taking in all the sights that were around. The kids of Suna playing ball. Elders sitting outside of their homes, speaking with each other intently. Gossiping, Naruto assumed. It was interesting to see how alike both of their villages were. All that differed was the terrain. "Mmm…There is it." He walked up and sat down, calling out for some beef ramen. Sitting there quietly, waiting for his order to be fulfilled. The wind was picking up slightly, hairs on the back of his neck prickling. Something dangerous was stirring, he could feel it. "Here you go." The owner said before slipping Naruto's order of ramen in front of him carefully. "Man this looks so good, but not as good at Ichiraku's." Thought the blonde with a twang of pain at the though of his old home. "It's only been two days and I'm already missing home like crazy. Well I'll just have to get over that won't I? This is my new home. For a long time hopefully." Naruto mumbled to himself. Whether he would admit it or not, Naruto actually liked it here. Despite the heat, the people were, manageable and he enjoyed being around Gaara. Even if he was kind of moody and quiet most of the time. Simply enough, the redhead was his friend. The one thing that connected them the most, was that hell created by the people around them. They shared that pain of loneliness and loss. They knew what it was like.
A not-so-gentle tap on Naruto's shoulder shook him from these thoughts. He jumped a little and looked up to see that the owner of the ramen bar had a worried look on his face. "Are you alright? You seemed to be in some sort of a trance." A smile spread across the blonde boy's face. "Yes, I'm fine. I was just thinking about a few things." He said politely. "Oh." Was all he got in response. For the rest of his time there, Naruto ate in silence. Still thinking about all that he and Gaara had in common. It was scary at times, thinking how he could have ended up like that. A monster that everyone was scared of, but he had his friends. It took a lot of trying and hard work, but Naruto started to earn the respect and love of his fellow Leaf nin. So alike, and yet so different. Like black and white.
The night dragged on very slowly for Naruto as he sat there, only staring at his food without touching it. Finally, the ramen owner, who he found out was named Rike, politely told him that it was closing time and he would have to leave. "Gomen." Naruto apologized quietly, bowing and walking away, hands shoved into the pockets of his pants. He was slightly depressed by this time. Yes, even Naruto gets depressed. Gaara had it so hard, and for him to continue on like this, is just purely amazing. It really is. "I have to get out of this village for a while. Considering how much stuff I need to think of." He whispered to himself. At a slow pace, Naruto walked out of Suna, only stopping at the gates to tell the guards he was only out for a little walk. They nodded in understandment and let him pass without a fuss. Naruto had kept his gaze down most of the way out into the cold desert, his feet sinking into the sand very slowly, showing at how agonizingly slow of a pace he was moving at. Finally, the blue eyes gazed up towards the horizon. A dark silhouette was there, outlined by the full moon, rising over a red sand dune. The nighttime breeze ruffled the figures hair. Naruto stopped dead in his tracks, not that he was going very fast anyways. He stared over. Not sure whether to approach or just stand there. Before he could get done deciding a pain ridden voice called out to him. "Come, Naruto." It was almost too quiet to hear, but the words flowed with the wind.
It seemed like eternity, but finally Naruto stepped up beside Gaara. His face implacable and breathing soft, shallow. He didn't know how long they stood there; it could have been hours, or a few mere seconds. Only the whisper of wind on sand filled the deafening silence between them. Gaara's eyes seemed to be far away, remembering some distant memory that hurt him. Naruto was beginning to read him well, for he could tell when his friend was in pain, even behind that cold mask. "Gaara, you're hurt." The blonde stated simply and bluntly. A finch was earned from breaking the silence. It was as if his words cut like knives. It took a while for Gaara to answer, but it was because he had to regain some control. As he spoke, his eyes continued to gaze upon the horizon. "Past memories, I always try to keep them locked away, but sometimes they comeback to haunt me. You have those too." It was not a question, but a statement of fact. Naruto nodded in understandment and licked his lips very slowly, his mouth suddenly have going dry. "We are just human after all." Gaara finally turned to look at the other boy. "Convince me of that Naruto. Tell me I'm not a monster." The pain found in those few words tore Naruto up inside. His piercing dark blue eyes stared into the ice blue ones of his friend. "You feel pain. Emptiness. Sadness. You are human Gaara. You have been into that hell! The one the eats at you until there's nothing left! I was there. We, were there." The blonde had taking a small step towards his short Kazekage. "Let me help you out of that hell. Let me be there to hold you up when you need it." Gaara was still, staring into Naruto's eyes with a reluctant fury. "Why do you do this for me? Why, would you offer such a thing when I've tried to kill you? I am a monster. You know it. Just look in my eyes. The smell of the Sand. It's still there. No matter what, it will never leave me. No matter what, I am alone." The growl that erupted from Naruto's throat was enough to make the other boy flinch, the sand hissing threateningly in it's gourd. Once again, he took a step closer, gripping the redhead's shoulder. "I will not leave you alone! If you kill me with the sand, then fine, but don't say I didn't try to help you. To take away your pain. You are my friend." His grip lessened, but Naruto's breathing was short and brisk with his anger. They stood there, staring into each others eyes. Rage pouring from the dark blue ones, and emptiness trickling from the light blue. "Can't you understand that you're not alone anymore Gaara. You're just not. And whether you can accept that or you can't, well, it's your problem." Naruto was trying to form a smile on his lips, but it just wouldn't come. "Why the hell is this upsetting me so much? I mean come on." The blonde thought to himself, still not letting go of his friend. The silence stretched between them for a long time. Again with this silence. Slowly Naruto calmed down. His breathing slow and even, the smile finally able to creep onto his face. "I'll protect you Gaara. I'll keep you safe. Even if it costs me my life." Gaara stared at Naruto, which wasn't uncommon. Finally, being as slow as he is, Naruto realized the meaning of the words he just said. To make sure no one ever hurt Gaara, that's a task only the Sennin themselves could accomplish probably. The weight this placed upon Naruto's shoulders, was almost unbearable, but he never goes back on his word. This is his ninja way.
"Why, would you ever promise such a stupid thing?" Came the piercing sharp words from the other boy's throat. "You know you'll never be able to keep that." Naruto scratched under his chin thoughtfully. "Well how about I promise something easier? I, Naruto Uzumaki, promise to try and never hurt you as long as I live. As well, I will continue to try and deprive you of the pain caused by others as well. Hm. How does that work for you?" Gaara could only nod quietly before turning himself to stare at the moon once more. By now it was a lot higher in the sky, and he had to tilt his head back to see it clearly. "I, can't understand why you would care for someone like me. There is nothing about me to find pleasure in. Nothing at all." Naruto once again moved to stand in front of Gaara. "There's plenty to like. I would never lie about something like that." Slowly the blonde leaned in and wrapped his arms around the other man's neck. His breath gently fanned across Gaara's cheek, causing him to tense up and gasp quietly. "I'll protect you." Naruto whispered. Leaning back and looking into the ice blue eyes, he smiled. Gaara couldn't help but stare back, breathing shallow and quick. 'I've never been this close to anyone before. No one has ever dared to get this near.' Going on pure instinct, the Kazekage leaned forward and barely brushed his lips against the others. So softly, Naruto wasn't sure if he'd even done it. Gaara didn't pull away, but just stood there, not sure of what to do now. The blonde slowly applied a little more pressure, keeping his arms tight around Gaara. There was calmness surrounding them. Flowing from Naruto to Gaara, through their breath. In and out. Slowly, the redhead relaxed and applied just as much pressure back. Just as quick as it came, they pulled away from each other. Grinning like an idiot, Naruto turned and stared towards the horizon. "That is my promise to you." He said bluntly. The blonde boy turned around to find that Gaara was gone. His smile grew only wider as he started to walk back towards the Sand Village.
'Why would Naruto do that to me? He…I could have…..No control." The redhead could do nothing but sit on his bed, face in his hands. The normally even breathing was now choppy and erratic. Softly Gaara whispered into the dark. "Don't leave me alone Naruto…You promised…." A broken cry called out into the night. Choked sobbing slicing the silent air like knives.
Finally after a few hours of walking, thinking about all that had happened, Naruto returned to their home to get some sleep. He looked around for Gaara, but apparently he was no where to be found. 'Interesting…. Gaara usually never hides from his troubles..' The blond slipped off his shoes and pulled off his jacket. A deep sigh escaped his lips as he lay on his bed, which he was once again surprised for it was very soft. Just to his liking. The blonde ninja sighed and slipped into the darkness of oblivion. His only last thought before giving in to sleep was that his stay in Suna would surely be a long and confusing one.