She didn't know what is was about him but she had always known, maybe it was because when she was in first year she had spent all her time alone in the library, without friends and always ridiculed by the others. That was before Harry and Ron, she had hated them then. She recognised that in him, loathed and abused by all, just like she had been. Even when she made friends she jumped to his defence. Maybe it was because the saw in him the unquenchable thirst for knowledge that she had had always had, or that he never treated her any differently for it. He was a challenge. She spent hours on the work set by him just to get the smallest bit of praise, a grim sense of satisfaction in her work from him became worth more that the glowing reports from all the others.
As she progressed through school he never ceased to be a fascination, at first it embarrassed her, the cliché of a school girl harbouring a passion for one of her teachers, like so many of the shallow girls she pitied. The ones who spent hours preening in front of the mirror before class, who talked about how hot the teacher was to all their friends and blushed at any praise, giggling at any look shot their way. Not that that happened very much at Hogwarts. Hermione berated herself for being so foolish, he was nearly twenty years older than her and showed nothing but contempt for everything about her but her unwavering grades and he even sneered at those. She didn't know when it stopped being a childish infatuation and matured into something else, but again she was sensible about it, knowing it was no use pining for someone so far out of her reach. She never really dated, she had said yes to Viktor because she was flattered and because she didn't want anyone to know the truth, it was a disaster. She still remembered the embarrassment and horror caused by him reading Rita's article to the entire class, she made it her mission to make the nosey busybody pay, the punishment she had given still brought a smile to her face. The whole episode had made her realise there would never be anyone but him, no matter how impossible being with him seemed.
He joined The Order and she saw him outside of school, finding more and more things to make it harder and harder for her to stop loving him. No matter how hard and how many times she tried he was always the one she strove to do things for, bettering herself for him, knowing he didn't notice. She admired his strength and courage as the war progressed, fighting for what was good and true with no regard for his own life, things got worse but he still didn't betray them. She told Ginny that she loved someone but she never said who, she had always been able to talk to Ginny and they spent many nights sitting up late talking, Ginny about Harry and Hermione about Snape but never actually saying his name.
The casualties grew along with Voldemort's strength; it was only a matter of time before he made his final move. As time grew short the moments became more precious for Hermione, she sat in his lessons and watched him discreetly, looking on with affection as he sat and read while the class worked. He looked up occasionally but he was more content to sit and absorb the knowledge on the page in front of him, just like Hermione did every time something fascinated her, she loved it when his hair fell into his eyes but he was caught up in his book to notice. His mouth was slightly open as he read and for once the scowl left his face, showing the vulnerability that he kept hidden by his constant façade. She wanted so much to know his past, to know what he was like under the hatred he emanated to the world, to soothe him and bring the smile back to his face. She had never seen his smile but some how she knew he would be beautiful, she wanted so much to be the one that brought him back from the darkness he lived in. If only she knew how.
Each night the Death Eaters were called The Order were informed, Hermione sat in the library each night he left, getting very little sleep, she hurried to breakfast in the mornings and scanned the teachers table looking for him only relaxing once she was sure he wasn't hurt. Hiding her constant worry from everyone else whilst she tortured herself with imagining it all going wrong, Voldemort finding out and making him pay for his betrayal. They were all putting their lives on the line and she worried for them all, but for him and Harry most of all.
Finally in seventh year he came back looking panicked, The Order including Harry, Hermione and the Weasleys were summoned to Dumbledore's study to hear his report. She struggled to stop her emotions from showing on her face as he sat exhausted in the study and told them what happened. What they had dreaded was about to happen, Voldemort was planning to attack with full force on the next day, his final move. Voldemort knew that his attack would rely largely on surprise and had been unwilling to let anyone leave after the meeting. Snape had only managed to escape by persuading Voldemort that Dumbledore would get suspicious if he didn't return, there was fear in his eyes as tomorrow it would finally be revealed where his loyalties truly lay. This would make him the ultimate target after Harry, Voldemort would be furious. Suddenly Harry interrupted "Where's Kingsley, he needs to be informed, as do the ministry."
"He couldn't be called away from work" Replied Lupin "but you are right Harry he needs to know, and he needs to meet us at Grimauld Place which is where all of us are going now. Dumbledore will follow once he has informed the school and sent them to be with their families. Many may join us in the fight if they choose, but that is up to each family, who fights and for which side is up to them."
"I'll send a message to Kingsley." Interrupted Hermione, she was terrified and needed to do something useful to calm her nerves. She summoned her patronus ignoring the curious looks she got from Harry and Ron, last year it had changed forms from an otter to a bat, and they had never seen it before. She flashed a look at Snape out of the corner of her eye but his eyes were closed and she quietly breathed a sigh of relief, at least he hadn't noticed.
They left for Grimauld Place where the adults went to the kitchen to discuss tactics, the rest went upstairs to Harry's room where they too talked, and wondered what was going to happen to them. Hermione suggested they go to bed and get some sleep before tomorrow, they all agreed but knew that none of them would sleep very much if at all. Hermione went to her room and got changed into her pyjamas, snuggling under her duvet as if it could protect her from all the evil in the world. Ron had been sending her meaningful looks all evening and she was glad to have escaped, he had been making it clear for months now that he liked her. She was guessing tonight he would confess it. As if replying to her thoughts she heard a knock on her door and groaned to herself softly, she didn't want to deal with turning him down tonight.
*****
Snape didn't know when it had happened, or how he let himself do the worst thing a teacher could possibly do, fall in love with one of his students. From first year she had showed promise, he had heard the teachers gush over the genius witch who had come to Hogwarts and he was intrigued to see her in his class. He knew to treat her with anything but contempt would be uncharacteristic and he was careful to show no partiality. But she interested him greatly, he too saw huge potential in her and saw it as his duty to cultivate her talent by forcing her to work hard, praise was what she craved and he was careful never to give it. She was like him in her pursuit of knowledge, never ceasing and doing it for her own gain, not to please others like he pretended to think she did. He was disgusted when she fell in with Potter and Weasley's crowd, she could do better but she was a student and he refused to let himself take anymore notice of her than was appropriate.
She had matured and he watched the boys follow her down the corridors, none made a move though, she was permanently flanked by Potty and Weasel as the Slytherins called them. He silently thanked them for that. Still she did not care for appearance, letting nothing get in the way of her work; she had ambition she wanted to go places. He admired that in her, he saw her as his little protégé, possibly taking his post after he had gone. He caught himself thinking about her to much, it was only when he dreamt about her that he realised how careless he had been, only an innocent dream of her holding his hand and smiling at him as they walked together. It still made him realise what he had done. For a long time she had been one of the few things that had made him interested in the world, he had always been content to shut himself away with nothing but books and work for company. He had always been like that, only one person apart from her had ever inspired that interest in him, he no longer loved Lilly but it was this realisation that made him resign himself to his fate.
He had no friends to notice this, but he was still very careful to hide it, again and again he cursed himself for being so stupid. In a way he felt relief for finally admitting something that he already knew, if he was conscious of it he would never make careless mistakes. It began to irritate him how Weasley hung on her every word, following her around like a love sick puppy, what made it worse was that she let him. He caught himself watching her work in class, loving the look of concentration as she measured out her ingredients and followed the instructions with all the love and care of one with a true passion for potions. This was a contrast to the rest of his class who poured things in sloppily, spilling things and adding to many drops, letting it slosh over the side of the cauldron with there violent stirring, when it should be stirred carefully. He had watched her work hard to better herself in school and at The Order, how she cared for all the others and still finding the time to work. His nightly visits to Voldemort left him tired and scarred by all he had seen, in her presence he could lose himself. He could just imagine how she smelt, beautiful and subtly sweet, he could imagine how soft her hair was. Then he hated himself for getting so love sick over one he could never have and one who would never want him.
The day Voldemort announced his plans a shiver of fear went through his entire body, and a small pang at the thought that tomorrow he would probably die without confessing his feelings. He returned to Hogwarts and braced himself for the panic his news would bring; he flopped into a chair as he told his story. He shut his eyes because he didn't want to look at her face; he listened to the following conversation without input, but his ears pricked when she offered to send Kingsley a message. He wanted to see her patronus, he had noticed it from a distance it had been some small rodent like creature, from the shape he had a horrible feeling it was a weasel. He pretended to keep his eyes closed but opened them a fraction just enough to see without anyone knowing he was able to. The silver creature that erupted out of her wand stopped his heart when he realised it was a bat. He noticed her look around the room nervously, her eyes resting on him for a fraction of a second more than the others.
All through the meeting during the night he was distracted, his mind kept going back to the bat and the look on her face. For a long time he had accepted the fact she would never like him, teacher or not, but today he wasn't so sure. He had never confessed because she was a student and their relationship would be wrong on many levels. Earlier he had considered telling her tonight due to the battle that was going to devastate them tomorrow, but decided against it but things had changed. To his relief they decided that they should get to bed, he knew what he had to do, he walked upstairs and knocked on her door.
*****
Hermione opened her door only to have her breath catch in her throat to see him standing there. She panicked thinking that he had seen her patronus and he had come to tell her how stupid she was, that she should forget him. He opened his mouth to speak and she hurriedly apologised before she had the chance, hoping to get it over with as quickly as possible then slam the door on his face and lock herself in to deal with her pain and embarrassment alone. "I'm so sorry sir, I just let things get out of control I've been stupid and I promise to leave you alone and never tell anyone. I won't send you Valentines cards or anything like that I'll just keep away from you and deal with it. I never meant for you to see…" Before she could finish she was silenced by him slamming his mouth into hers, unable to control himself. Shocked she broke off "What are you doing?" she asked, breathless.
"Showing you how much I love you." He replied before kissing her again, she soon forgot about everything but him, he only stopped briefly to lock the door and place a silencing charm on the room.
She lay there on her bed with her head on his chest listening to his heart beat, she looked up at him and he smiled. She was right, he was beautiful.
"I had to tell you." He said "Ever since I saw your patronus I knew you had to know before tomorrow, there's such a big chance I may die. But at least you know now, I'm ready now that I know there's somebody out there who cares for me.
*****
The battle was long and Severus knew he would never get out of it alive but he drew courage from the previous night, he could still smell her on his clothes, beautiful just like he had always known it would be. All the Death Eaters attacked him, trying to kill him knowing the reward from Voldemort would be great. Snape fought knowing for the first time in many years there was someone out there who cared whether he lived or died, suddenly a spell hit him in the back with the strength of a physical blow, he spun around to face Lucius Malfoy. "Well well little traitor, I've always known there wasn't something wasn't right about you, I've been looking forward to this little meeting. The Dark Lord will be so pleased." He died with her face in his memory, her smell on his clothes and a smile on his face.
*****
The battle was over and Harry had won, but it wasn't before there had been many casualties, they walked amongst the dead looking for survivors and loved ones. The Weasleys were gathered around the body of Percy who had managed to kill Wormtail before being killed himself. Hermione searched frantically for Snape, she hadn't seen him since sometime near the beginning when he had been fighting off Bella, finally she heard a cry from Harry and she rushed over. She just couldn't believe he could die so soon after finally knowing she had to see for herself before she would believe it. It just couldn't be true. She saw him lying amongst the rubble with a pale face and no obvious signs of life and fell to her knees, tears already streaking down her face. Not caring about anyone else she lay with her head on his chest listening to the heartbeat that was no longer there, only in her memories. Just thinking back to all the things about him that she had loved, to his last night spent alive, his first and only with her. How she hadn't quite been able to believe that it was happening, that he actually loved her as much as she loved him. She finally sat up, her eyes were raw from crying and there was patch on his robes wet with her tears, right above his heart. She looked at his face and saw the small trace of his smile still left on his now bloodless lips, it was then that she knew. There would never be anyone else.
A/N: Hi this is my first ever HGSS but I have loved them for a long time, I didn't originally intend for a sad ending, in fact I've never written one of those before either but it just happened. I tried changing it but it didn't seem right. Sorry to all those reading Rippling Water I am suffering from serious lack of inspiration.
