Author's Note: It's Father's Day and I wanted to write a cute little story about Severus- this is an AU where Severus saves Tonks and Remus' lives so that they don't leave Teddy an orphan, and he attends their wedding (which they couldn't have in the middle of a war). Hilarity ensues when Narcissa bets that he can't make the little tyke laugh. I hope that this little interlude makes you smile.
Daddy for a Dance
"Hello Nymphadora," Snape said, nodding slightly at the woman with the squirming toddler in her arms.
To his surprise, she fixed him with a lopsided grin. "Normally, I'd be mad, but you saved our lives, so you can call me whatever the feck you want."
"Language, Nymphadora!" Andromeda Tonks looked scandalized from behind her daughter.
"Mum! Just call me Tonks, like usual!"
"Hmph!" Andromeda sniffed and scurried off to fluff up some of the flower arrangements.
"You do know that your surname has changed, unless, of course, you don't like it. I suppose I could take yours if it means that much to you." An affable chuckle from behind them made Tonks turn her head, an adoring look on her face as Remus Lupin hobbled over, his leg still in a cast.
"Oh, don't worry. You may be a cripple of a husband, but you're my cripple of a husband," Tonks replied, nuzzling noses with him.
Snape cleared his throat uncomfortably and they looked at him, twin blushes blooming across their cheeks.
"We really appreciate you coming to the wedding, Severus," Lupin said, extending his hand. "And the life-saving thing. That too, of course."
Snape looked at it dubiously before shaking it politely and taking step back.
Just then, George Weasley's voice rang out across the reception area. "All right, then! It's time for the bride and groom to have their first dance as a newly married couple!"
Tonks looked around nervously as Teddy squirmed and made squeaking noises like a distressed kitten. Finally, her eyes fixed upon Snape and he briefly considered simply fleeing in the opposite direction at what she said next.
"I don't suppose you might..." Tonks trailed off, making a motion to hand the toddler over to Snape.
Severus looked around from side to side, but other than Lucius Malfoy looking at him smugly from the other side of the room, there was no one close by enough to fob off the responsibility of temporary childcare.
"C'mon! It's just a dance!" Tonks looked at him, a challenge in her eyes.
'Hmph,' Severus thought to himself, 'she thinks that I can't look after a toddler for three minutes. I'll show her!'
"Give the whelp to me," he said resignedly, as Remus gaped at him from behind his wife. "After all, you'll need all your arms to manage that." He motioned to Lupin's thickly-wrapped leg, which was still healing after having been crushed by a giant and then nearly severed from his hip by a nasty Slicing Hex.
"Thanks, Snape!" Tonks rushed forward, and before Severus could do anything, she'd fixed him with a peck on the cheek and a toddler in his arms. She drew away with Remus in her arms, spinning as the Wailing Banshees began to play a cheesy love ballad.
Severus stood on the sidelines holding Teddy at arm's length under his little underarms. The baby giggled and promptly blew a large snot bubble out one nostril.
"How charming," Severus said, deadpan.
"What do you think you're doing, Severus?! You can't hold a baby like that!" hissed Narcissa, who had appeared at his elbow.
"Thank Merlin," Severus said, turning to hand the baby off to her, "Why don't you-"
"Oh no you don't, Severus Snape!" Narcissa whispered back at him from behind her hand. "You are going to hold that baby and you're going to do it right. Now, then, cradle the head with one hand and support his bottom with the other. There you go."
Severus did as Narcissa had instructed, his face a mask of long-suffering irritation the entire time. Teddy seemed to like his new position very much, though Severus could feel the drool soaking into his shoulder as the toddler began to teethe on his robes.
"Ugh, are all babies like this?" Severus complained, looking at the dancing newlyweds desperately as though this would make the song end more quickly. If anything, the song seemed to slow down and he made a despairing nose in the back of his throat.
"Well," Narcissa replied thoughtfully, "I suppose that if you had any children, they'd be just as scowly and silent as you are. Though I imagine they'd get angry easily, which would lead to large and unpleasant tantrums."
"Perish the thought," Severus replied with a shudder as he fixed Narcissa (who was snickering quietly) with a glare. "I'd rather stick my hand into the gaping maw of a Venomous Tentacula than have offspring of my own."
"It's just as well. You'd probably be a terrible father. You'd probably end up swapping the babe for a rare potion ingredient," Narcissa teased.
Severus didn't know why, but this made him feel rather awful and his shoulders drooped with defeat. Teddy didn't seem to notice and burped loudly as Severus bounced the babe in his arms.
Suddenly, Severus had an idea.
"I bet that I could prove you wrong," he muttered back at Narcissa, who was watching, misty-eyed, as Lupin stood on one spot and spun his wife around.
"Oh? How so?" Narcissa sounded genuinely intrigued.
"Ten Galleons says that I can make Teddy laugh," Severus said, "without a Tickling Charm."
Narcissa looked at him skeptically. "It can't be done," she said simply.
"Hmph. Don't count your phoenix eggs before they've burst into flame," Severus replied.
"Fine. You're on. Ten Galleons it is. And if I win, you have to come over and have dinner with us...and this nice girl from a good family that I just know you'll get along famously with."
Severus groaned. Narcissa had been trying to set him up with a large number of single women for the better part of six months.
"Fine," he agreed, "but if I win, in addition to the ten Galleons, you will refrain from using the words 'date' and my name in a sentence ever again. Also, you will stop trying to set me up with 'nice girls.'"
Narcissa huffed slightly but nodded. "All right, Mr. I-Can-Be-A-Daddy. Show me your best stuff."
Severus started with the easy pickings and tickled Teddy's sock-covered feet. The tot gurgled loudly, but didn't laugh and Narcissa shot him a smug look that made Severus see red.
"Just you wait!" he hissed.
Next, Severus tickled the boy's belly, which was hard to do, since the boy's stomach was resting against his chest, but he managed. Teddy merely wiggled out of the way and Severus had to make a desperate grab for him before he toppled over his shoulder and onto the floor. Luckily, he was fast enough and righted the boy quickly before anyone else could see.
Severus chanced a glance at Narcissa, and she looked just as pale and relieved as he felt.
Severus felt stupid as he realized that he'd missed the easiest place in the world. The underarm area! He tickled away under Teddy's arms, but the boy simply made an infuriating smacking noise with his lips that made Severus despair. Was he really going to lose this bet and be forced to endure yet another thinly-veiled blind date with some old maid who was more interested in his fame than his actual self?
Despairing, Severus let out a deep sigh of defeat only to feel chubby hands patting him on the cheeks. Teddy had pulled himself up and was facing him, grinning his baby grin. Awkwardly, the toddler brought his head forward and bumped it lightly against Severus' forehead bringing them nose to nose. Severus ignored Narcissa's tiny shriek of glee at how adorable they probably looked, staring at one another forehead-to-forehead.
It was then that Severus thought of something that he'd only read about in books. It couldn't hurt to try. He leaned forward ever so slightly and blinked rapidly against Teddy's cheek, his eyelashes (which were embarrassingly long for a man) tickling the tot's cheek like the beats of a butterfly wing.
At this, Teddy let out a shriek of delight, giggling madly.
And Severus Snape smiled.
It was only when Severus felt two arms grabbing the baby gently and pulling him away that he realized the music had ended without him realizing it and Tonks was standing there with a look of wonder on her face. Teddy patted his mother's cheeks and cooed happily in her arms and Severus tried to ignore how absolutely tickled-pink Narcissa looked. Lupin, of course, looked as though his jaw was about to hit the floor.
"Hmph," Severus scoffed, "I told you, I'm not some kind of child-eating monster. I do have a heart, you know."
"Point taken," Tonks said, her face still full of that self-same wonder, as though she'd just seen a side to the surly Potions master that she'd never considered before.
"Just don't ask me to babysit," Severus said, clearing his throat. "I don't change nappies. Now, excuse me, but I find myself rather parched."
But before he turned to go, he turned back to wave ever so slightly at Teddy, who beamed back at him and waved a chubby hand. Then, the boy's hair, which had been a silvery pink for the entire evening, promptly turned as black and long as Snape's.
At this, Tonks looked as though her jaw was about to hit the floor next to her husband's.
A strange look, somewhere between happiness and longing rose on Snape's face, but he didn't mind, not after all that had happened.
After all, the boy had loving parents, and he'd made the little grub laugh. Plus, there was that ten Galleon bet and the prospect of never having to be set up with random witches by Narcissa Malfoy ever again.
"Pardon the intrusion, Narcissa, but may I have a word?" he asked later, as the party was winding down.
She turned and looked up at him with a curious expression on her face. "So, then, do you want the money now or later?"
"I was thinking," Severus started, his eyes darting away uncomfortably and fixing on something invisible on the far wall, "about that dinner...I wouldn't be all that averse to stopping by. And...if the nice family friend that you mentioned were there as well...I wouldn't...protest."
Her small smirk grew wider and wider. "I see. And shall I mention to her that you'd like to have an entire gaggle of little Snapelets?"
Severus went scarlet.
"NO!" he shouted far too loudly, startling an elderly couple nearby. "I mean...no...I think that dinner is just fine. For now, that is."
"I see. I suppose you can save that for the second date," Narcissa quipped, snickering slightly from behind her goblet.
"Don't get ahead of yourself," Severus replied, rolling his eyes.
"What are you two conspiring about over here?" Lucius appeared, his fur-trimmed robes looking decadent and perfect on his tall, slim form.
"Oh, just talking about how Severus longs to be called Daddy," Narcissa snickered as Severus began to make noises of protest.
Lucius arched an eyebrow and bit back a snicker of his own. "I didn't realize you were into that sort of thing, Severus."
"Unlike you, I am not a raging pervert," Severus replied sharply.
"Ah, so you admit to being a pervert, then," Lucius shot back, still snickering.
"You two are hopeless!" Severus stomped away from them in a huff.
"We'll see you on Thursday!" Narcissa called from behind him. "Dinner starts at five in the evening! Be there, or be a lonely bastard!"
Severus knew that all of them were acting quite a bit more uninhibited than usual. After all, it wasn't often that one got access to Elf-made wine that had been aged over a hundred years.
He stumbled to the Floo, trying to forget the look of adoration on Teddy's face. Even though he'd always despised the Hogwarts students with their rule-breaking and smug disregard for the rules, a part of him had begun to imagine how it would be to hold a child of his own in his arms. He flushed with pride at the thought of being called Da-da for the first time.
"This is precisely why I should never drink this much," he grumbled, stumbling through the Floo into his sitting room and collapsing in his chair.
And yet, when sleep came for him, all he could dream of was the warmth of a little bundle in his arms, twin dark eyes looking up into his in fearless symmetry and endless love.