"Did you ever wonder where you would have ended up if I hadn't found you?" Alice's voice was gentle, teasing, as she sat at Jasper's feet, leaning against her husband's long legs. The Southerner purred low in response, a sound of affection as his fingers brushed against her spiky hair. The quiet of the empty house enclosed around them, safety in that very silence. After a moment, Alice looked up at her mate, lips briefly brushing his knee. Jasper's gaze was far-away, his expression neutral but for the slightest upward turn of his lips and a slight furrowing of his alabaster brow. Shadows danced across his golden eyes, making her wonder. Would it be worth it to look into the future, just a glimpse to learn what it was that seemed to suddenly haunt her husband? How would he react to that?
Alice waited quietly, rising to her knees and brushing a single blonde curl from her mate's forehead. The spell didn't break, only cracking a little as his eyes slipped back to the present. Moving into her touch, he nuzzled her palm and inhaled slowly. He'd once said her scent helped him more than anything, kept him in the present day, away from whatever inner temptation or demon might be lingering where she couldn't see. The second slow inhale, a connosieur preparing to sample a rare vintage, sent her worry ratcheting up the scale. "Jasper?" What had she said? Looking into his eyes, her soul cried out, wanting to know what she had done to pull him away like this. Silent, she pleaded for answers. The curve of his lips softened, increased by a few degrees.
"It's nothing important, darlin," he said softly, kissing her hand again, holding it to his cheek. Alice hissed in protest. How could it not be important if he was hurting? Jasper chuckled, though it was a hollow sound. "Maria once asked me the same question," he admitted, a bitter whisper of confession. "Did you ever wonder where you would've ended up if I hadn't found you?" Without warning, he pulled her into his lap, holding her close. Alice didn't complain, curling into his chest, unspoken apologies already on her lips. She said nothing as Jasper kissed up her jawline, buried his nose in her hair. A third deep inhale.
"We had just won a battle by a small margin. Maria and I set about with the six newborns we had left, burning the dead. It didn't matter, of course, as long as the land was ours. It was the first territory Maria had won in Texas; it made her greedy. As we worked, she began planning the next fight. We would move north, then west, one city at a time. She interrupted a discussion of tactics to ask the other question." As he shuddered, Alice purred, hoping to ease his dread of whatever was coming.
"When I answered..." His eyes were far away again. "Maria told me how...right I was. She predicted my human death on the field of battle, my family lauding me a hero, then forgetting me as the generations progressed. By making me immortal, she had made me a god, something better. She thought she had saved me." His voice was softer, lower, a whisper of shame. "I agreed with her. Thanked her for what she'd done. For killing me." Jasper let out a low groan that turned into a growl of hatred. Peppering his face with feather-light kisses, Alice waited on tenter-hooks, knowing he needed to finish the story.
After another minute of silence, she inhaled, ready to give him a verbal nudge. "What did you answer when she asked?" What could he have said to her that led to such a negative response, something that led him down a path of self-loathing she'd already spent years easing him away from?
"Ask me again, darlin." The request was soft, almost toneless, his eyes closed.
"Did you ever wonder...where you would've ended up if...I hadn't found you?" She hesitated over each word, wondering what response he would give her now. The innocent question seemed to have a new weight suddenly, more levels of meaning than even she could've forseen.
Jasper purred, meeting her gaze. Slowly, deliberately, he repeated the same phrase he'd offered Maria. "Without you, I would be nothing." This time, the situation made all the difference. This time, the words rang with hope.