There Are No Accidents
Summary: It was a bad idea, but it was also a good idea. What she needed in the moment.
A/N: This is just a SMacked fan's explanation of this crazy Adam/Stella storyline. I usually hate writing first person, but that's just how this one came out. Hope I did Stella justice.
Dedication: Jenna & Dana who were freaking out over the Adam/Stella storyline and their hate for it.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, absolutely nada.
This was a bad, bad idea, it's so far past bad that bad is a dot on the horizon. Booze is my judgements worst enemy. I slept with Adam. I slept with Adam the lab tech. I slept with Adam the lab tech that I affectionally call 'Kiddo'. I slept with Adam the lab tech that I affectionally call 'Kiddo' because I have not coped with a damn thing in the past month. Oh yeah, booze was a very bad idea.
It's all really fuzzy, like the whole world was out of focus. I had been sitting in my apartment, on the couch, watching 'I Love Lucy' re-runs and having a date with Mr. Jack Daniels -cruel bastard that he is. It all kind of hit me like a ton of bricks. Jessica dying, sitting in the bar, the shots ringing out, laying on the floor of the bar praying that no one else had died. It came in waves. Danny choking out that he couldn't move his legs, Lindsay's strangled cry for Mac. Every time I blinked a still frame crossed my mind. Waiting for Danny to get out of surgery, holding Flack's hand during the funeral service, the way Mac had hardly left his office in the past four weeks.
I had the deepest desire for someone to hold me. I needed someone to lie and say that everything would be okay, that we'd wake up tomorrow and it'd all be back to normal. Flack or Mac should've been the obvious choices, someone who would hug me and sober me up and send me home to bed. Somewhere in my mind that logic got switched up; Flack was grieving and Mac had enough worries at the lab. So I made a decision, a rash one at that, but a decision none the less.
I took a cab to Adam's apartment and smiled when I heard 'I Love Lucy' from the otherside of the door. All I recall thinking is how much Adam reminds me of a socially awkward teddy bear and how I was sure he could give me the hug that I needed. Just a hug, that's all I went there for, promise.
I knocked on his door and he opened the door, shirtless in a pair of sweatpants. Who knew the resident geek was also a fan of working out?
"Stella?"
"Adam...I.....I.."
That was all I had gotten out when he pulled me into a hug. Somewhere in my drunken stupor I remember recalling how nice it felt and how long it'd been since I'd been held. I kissed his cheek, the corner of his mouth, his mouth. Very bad idea.
One thing lead to another and I awoke in the wee hours of the morning in Adam Ross's bed. He was a gentleman about it, didn't watch me dress, made me some coffee, leant me his jacket and made sure I made it into a cab and had me call when I got home.
And now, here I sit, just as confused as I've ever been. I don't like Adam, not in that way -someone else has held that position for a very long time. It wasn't a good idea to go to his apartment, but maybe it wasn't a bad one either. Just two friends who needed to feel something good during the downpour of crap that has happened to us lately. Yeah, that's it. He's just what I needed in the moment.
A/N: Oh look, it's that confounded review button. You know you want to push it... doooo it.