Writer's Note:
This story is an excerpt from the anime "sister princess". I chose to post it here because I can relate myself to Mamoru/protagonist of this story. I want to share to you what girls like me felt by having the same experiences like Mamoru's. I consider thus story as my true-to-life experience, but I would rather change the character of "Onii-chan" (big brother) to "Nee-chan" (big sister), because I really get along with my sister than my brother. Haha! But due to some circumstances, I may not change it. So much for that, see you then! :)
Hope you'll enjoy reading this! :)
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school bell rings
Today, I was invited by the boys from my class for a soccer game. Did I forget about it then? Because I was overjoyed when I first thought about it. Ever since I was young, I enjoyed playing with the boys.
Anyways, as usual, I am here, wearing roller-skates to go to the field or sometimes, riding a skateboard.
I was good at tennis and basketball, but soccer? Nah… I was never good at it.
"Oops, I missed it again."
I always smile and try to forget all about it, and later on, none of my shots would go where I want them to be. I would trip while dribbling, and I couldn't even head the ball.
"What's wrong with me? I… I kept on… making mistakes."
Gradually, everyone's stares began to affect me. I felt ashamed.
It might have been better if I quit earlier. I started to panic and did a bad sliding tackle. By the time I thought, it was too late…
"aaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!"
When I woke up, I found myself at the infirmary. I could see shadows of some people on the other side of the curtain. I was about to apologize when one of them said, "To get knocked out so easily, I guessed she's just a girl after all."
"She would be cute if she acted more like one."
I became aware of such gossips.
I left the infirmary. I saw the boys playing soccer. I looked at them for a while, then go home sadly.
I wasn't hurt too badly, but when I return to school, I began to imagine things. And I remained dull.
I enjoyed playing sports. It doesn't matter which gender I was playing with.
It's just that the girls are not as competitive, so I thought it would be more challenging playing with the boys.
I've always been bad at soccer…
But ... But ... Just because… I'm not good at soccer… I should act more like a girl… THAT'S RIDICULOUS!!
Ever since I was a child, I enjoyed playing with Onii-chan. I really loved him. I wanted to play with him forever.
But the differences between us grew more distinct with each passing year. I thought it couldn't be helped since we were siblings… But I hope he wouldn't have pity on me because of that. I was always envious of the differences…
Saddened…
I hoped I could be as good as my brother one of these days. But no … I had always wanted to be his playing partner. Hence, I tried my best to catch up with him.
It's the time when this moment had come… The day he needs to go away…
"Not the same as yesterday…
Why can't I smile so easily anymore?
The sky is so bright…
Running straight ahead…
I'm the only one getting more closed to.
You told me nit to hold back the tears.
You told me to do whatever I set on my mind on…
I love the person you are.
That is so uplifting,
Though it creates some worries,
It's okay to be myself.
I was happy because you were always smiling,
I thought I truly liked you,
But it's a love that's becoming a bit painful…"
I will catch up with you one day, Onii-chan. He's equal. A partner that you can always play with.
Onii-chan! I'll run straight ahead, seeing my reflection in those eyes. More then yesterday, more than today. I kept thinking that I want to be more like you.
Until then, wait for me…
END