Disclaimer: Own nothing, not even pimp canes or grease tubs.
Lord Voldemort: We need new masks.
Severus: If I may my lord, is there anything wrong with the ones we have now?
Lord Voldemort: …I'm just not feeling it.
Lucius: Ooh! Ooh! I know! We can cover it with glitter and sequin patterns!
Severus: And stick a peacock feather or two?
Lucius: It will blind the victim with distraction!
…
Lucius: RAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Victim: … BAHAHAHAA! [pointing at the shiny masks]
Severus: Go on... laugh.
Victim: HAHAHAHAH! HAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHA! ... HAHAHAHA!
Lucius: I will not tolerate this. These sequin patterns were severely complex to attach, bitch! Avada Kedavra!
Severus: Well then... now that that's settled... let us venture off in search for a masquerade ball.
Lucius: [ecstatically] Really?
Severus: No. Not really.
…
Peter Pettigrew: HOW ABOUT PAPER BAGS?!
…
Severus: What's taking you so long Lucius?
Lucius: [stumbling from behind a tall shrub] I can't see! Ow!
Severus: Idiot.. you were supposed to cut holes out!
…
Bellatrix: We could wear those muggle beanie things in like those muggle action movies... where this muggle goes into this muggle shop and goes to this other muggle, "hey give me your money" then this totally other muggle, that owns the muggle shop pulls out this muggle weapon and shoots that other muggle that came in with that muggle beanie!
Lucius: You watch muggle films?
Bellatrix: No.
…
Severus: [hiding behind an isle of crisps with Lucius] Okay… I'm going to distract the cashier and you sneak the king sized mars bar- Wormtail… what are you doing here?
Wormtail: I… I'm... why I'm gaining tips from my fellow death eaters! I want to be one just like you.
Severus: No.
Lucius: Oh Sev! You're slack.
Severus: He is wearing a pair of undies with yellow ducks on his head.
Lucius: It's cute!
Wormtail: I couldn't find a proper mask!
Severus: Meaning you can't be a proper death eater. Sorry.
Later…
[Severus in 'balaclava', has cashier pinned to the wall and wand on throat… waiting for Lucius]
Cashier: So... what's the stick for dude?
Severus: Want to find out?
[Lucius comes to the counter, without his mask slurping a slurpee]
Severus: What the hell do you think you're doing?!
Lucius: It was hot, and I was sweating… gahhh brain freeze!
…
Voldemort: I've got it… camouflage paint!
…
Lucius: This camouflage paint... shouldn't this make us you know, somewhat inconspicuous? Because... I think it's just giving me more flattering attention than I already 'suffer' on a daily basis. No offense... I know I'm hot, but why are people staring at you too?
Severus: Because... [rolling eyes] like you, I fail to blend in a bright muggle shopping center with green paint on my face.
…
Severus: I think we should stick with our old masks sire.
Voldemort: Glitter masks, ski masks, paper bags and paint didn't work?
Severus: [shakes head] not a single underwear.
Voldemort: [mischievously] … underwear aye?
THE END
:D Another one of my ridicolous drabbles that I hope you enjoyed.