The Hero in
Each of Us
Author's Notes- I wrote this over a year ago, at the time I wrote my popular
'An Angel's Tears'. This takes place after the game ends, and it's Tifa trying to make peace
with Aeris's ghost. She feels the need to be forgiven, and only hopes she will be granted it in the Forgotten City. I don't own Final
Fantasy or Mariah Carrey, and the other usual disclaimers apply.
'And then a hero comes along,
With the strength to carry on,
And you cast your fears aside,
And you know you can survive.'
~ Hero, Mariah
Carrey
It was near midnight when I finally reached
the center lake of the Forbidden City. The moonlight had
done nothing to aid my pathway to the body of water; and the whispers in the
shadows only aided to the dull roar in my chest. I assumed that it was the Cetra, attempting to scare me away so Aeris
wouldn't have to face the confrontation that was bound to occur, even in death.
Although there was no one here, no one for miles and days around, I feared. As
much as I wanted to believe that her spirit would arise for me to talk to, I
couldn't believe. I was simply too terrified. And even though no one was near,
and she was dead and cold in her grave, I still called out her name. I yelled
it over and over, praying for the millionth time that she would answer in that
voice, so sweet and beautiful, and giggle for a moment, forgiving me for our
battle still unfinished, only partially won by me. And so, sitting here in my
simple dress by the edge of the lake, which held her body and spirit, I spoke.
"Aeris, it's me. Tifa. I know you probably
don't want to hear my voice, and I'll probably be swimming in the Lifestream by the time I'm done. But this is something I
have to let out, something I have to say to you. Please listen, Aeris. I need to say this more than life itself."
The whispers in the shadows slowed for a moment, than rapidly increased. It
made me jump, nearly ending up in the water, but mainly wishing me to run away,
out of here, out of the city forgotten by time and man, lost by everything,
explored by no one. It was a miracle I'd made it this far.
A sudden wind ceased the squabble in the brush, and then coaxed me on. It was
as though Aeris was there, listening, willing her
ancestor's silence so I may go on. As not to perturb the spirits, I continued.
"Ever since I can remember, I've doubted myself. I've doubted my ability
to remember what happened that night five- no, now six- years ago. to remember who was telling the truth- Cloud, Sephiroth, Zach, Hojo. even myself. I've doubted my ability to fight- to 'destroy
every opponent' as I used to say. I've even doubted the only sure thing in the
world to me right now- my love for Cloud. The only one who made any sense at
all at the time was you, Aeris- to me; you were
trying to take the man I loved away from me. And to me, that was unforgivable.
So I started the competition with you- best woman wins. Blossoming from that
was my hatred for you; never stopping to place myself in your footsteps, never
thinking what it would be like to be you, the last of a 'species' that was hunted
down. I was so immature, thinking that your being captured was a ploy to win
Cloud's heart; that you were a shallow creature bent on destroying my life.
Even when you died that night, I was happy. Happy that I had
won. I didn't understand the tears that ran down my face, and I kept
trying to shove them away and dream of my life with Cloud. But something irked
me. Only now I know, it was how much I truly didn't
understand, and how much you did for me in such a short time."
I took a short breath, expecting to keep going in a moment. But something
stopped me- the hallucination that appeared before me. It was Aeris, looking at me with her bright eyes and shy smile,
yet appearing so far away and distant; so transparent. So
unreal. It was as though she was part of the lake, part of the Terra
that was surrounding both of us. She gestured for me to continue.
"Aeris. we won. A year and three months ago, we destroyed Jenova and killed Sephiroth. It
seems silly telling you. I mean, you prayed for Holy to enter, and you were the
savior that allowed it to come. Even though we beat them both, Meteor still
fell. We really thought it was the end- Midgar was
completely destroyed. We were next, riding in Cid's
airship, holding on tight. when your prayer reached
up. You saved the Earth, Aeris. You saved our
lives." A sharp breath came from my mouth as Aeris
held her hand up. I almost couldn't believe as she spoke, in a voice sounding
such as the wave from the lake she sat in.
"I know, Tifa. I watched my prayer Holy stop
Meteor. I can only beg for forgiveness for not stopping it from destroying Midgar." She sat down next to me, curled into a ball
with her arms around her bare legs, and looked up to the night sky. "Tifa, what's it like now with no threat? What's become of
the world? Where is everyone?"
"The world is beautiful, cities shining with hopes of democracy and
poverty decreasing. Hope and joy are shunning out pain and despair. But Aeris. everyone
prays for your return. They all hope that you can return." "But I
cannot," Her voice shot out clear and sharp, like a knife through butter
with more of a point. "I cannot return, and so you have Cloud and the
world with you. I have nothing but memories. Isn't that what you came here for,
Tifa?" The sharpness of her words stung, and I
answered in a low voice.
"Aeris. I came for
forgiveness, or at least the knowledge that I tried. Every since the day you
died, I've been dying a bit inside; I needed to talk to you, leave a note,
anything. I needed to say I'm sorry. It's the hardest thing I've ever done. Because you know what? I was so wrong about you. I doubted
myself so much before you died. I used you as a scapegoat, blaming everything
on you. I was so wrong, so wrong that it's hell to think I ever could have
blamed you. Aeris. Please, listen to me. I couldn't see it then, but I see it
more than ever now- you were my pillar of strength. I believed it to be Cloud
at the time, but seeing you going through all these things, all your hardships,
gave me the strength to carry on. You gave me the courage to look inside myself
and pull myself free from the burning wreckage that was my soul. You were the
hand that saved me, but when you died, I just laughed. I felt so alone, and you
offered me a hand. I love you, from my soul, and I just needed to thank
you." With the weight off my chest, I laid down
in the grass beside the lake, and gave a huge sigh. Beside my, I saw Aeris rise and walk forward into the lake. I expected her
to stop, but she didn't. "What are you doing?"
"Going to the Promised Land. Only when our lives
are complete, even after death, can we go there, to our home. You just
completed my life, Tifa. You told me I had meaning,
that I did something right. I have to thank you for allowing me this last joy
as a human." Her eyes filled with transparent tears, crystallizing in my
heart and soul. I could see through her, could see that all she wanted to be
was human, all she wanted to do was laugh with us and share a burger, but those
times were over. As much as I love her, I had to let her go. There was just one
last thing.
"Hey, Aeris? I promise
I'll take care of him. I mean. Aer, I'm not going to
leave here without your blessing. I'm supposed to marry him today, but without
your blessing, I won't. I love you both too much for that. So please, tell me
the truth of what you feel." She turned to face me, and suddenly, the fake
woman that had been before me disappeared. Her tears became ones of joy, and
her fake smile became real. "Why would I deny it? I mean, you can't take care
of your twins alone, can you? What would they ever think of their father?"
With that she turned once more, and prepared to leave. Tears filled my own
eyes, too see her gone, and for the fact that I was bearing his children.
And that she had forgiven me.
With that, no more words spoken, she stepped forth, and I jumped forward into
the icy cold lake. Her ghost was nowhere to be seen, but where she had left, a
small circle stayed. In it was simply a picture frozen in time, one that was
not truly there but in my mind, but so real that it was, and factual. It was Aeris passing through the gates with her mother waiting and
Tseng, Zack, Jenova, and Sephiroth
standing behind her. They all faced me, and waved. I knew the truth- the hero
lied in all of us.
I turned, smiled, and walked away to my wedding with nothing but my two
children in my stomach and the eyes of ghosts behind me, forever watching with
sad eyes the world they had been excluded from.
10-10-03- I had a few problems with some of my stories, this being one, so I'm re-loading it. Hope you enjoy!
