a/n: Well, lookie here. Kitty has actually gotten around to uploading her Psych fanfics. How amusing.

Anyway, this is exactly what it is. Lassie and Jules have one of my favorite friendships in the world, and their relationship is just so awesome I must write about it. So here's some one-shots on it. I have lots written and lots planned out. It'll range from light-hearted to angsty to babies ever after to character-deathy to...well, everything, so expect the unexpected. And updates will be random and most likely infrequent. And yes, there will be Shules.

Each chapter will start with a one-liner tag line for the one-shot, which will be put in the chapter before it. For this one, the tag line is Runway models are vicious. And yes, I do take requests for tag lines.

Runway models are vicious.

Lassiter and O'Hara stood by the security guard, watching with concern and some disturbance as the models glared at each other and made snide comments.

"We're not going to get anything out of these guys," O'Hara said to her partner. He shook his head slowly.

They're all egomaniacs," he said slowly. "All we have to do is start by talking about them, then ease into the investigation."

"Got it," O'Hara said with a firm nod.

But that plan turned and slapped them in the face.

They had had run-ins with models before, on Spencer and Guster's "Black and Tan" case. The models this time wasted no time in criticizing Lassiter's tie, then move on to his hair, which he apparently really should dye completely black. O'Hara's badge, which he wore around her neck, obviously didn't match anything, and she should consider dressing flashier. All they wanted was to find out what model tried to poison the other, not fashion advice. They stumbled out of the interviews backstage with emotional scars.

"Well, that was a disaster," O'Hara huffed.

"Apparently they'd rather bad talk other people," Lassiter growled, absently fiddling with his tie and glancing around. "The show's about to start. Let's go see what we can find."

As it turned out, a full-out slap fight spawned on the catwalk. Security jumped right on it, and somehow, just somehow, the two detectives were pulled into the middle of it.

"Ow. Ow. Ow."

"Everything hurts."

"Didn't you date a model before, Carlton? Wouldn't you know if their claws were so sharp?"

"I dated a theatre chick, O'Hara. They're insane in a different way."

Detectives Lassiter and O'Hara limped into the Santa Barbara Police Department, looking like road kill. Lassiter was nursing an oozing claw mark across his eyes, and there was a bright red slap mark on his cheek that refused to fade. One of O'Hara's shoes was missing a heel, and she had a nasty bruise on her jaw. Chief Vick caught them near Lassiter's desk.

"My God," she groaned. "What happened this time?"

Both of them tried to explain at once.

"None of them were cooperating-"

"-hostile, to put it very lightly-"

"-knew nothing about the poisoning, and only cared about themselves-"

"-total egomaniacs-"

"-and my badge-"

"-even though my tie is just fine-"

"-vicious beasts-"

"-the claws -"

"-worse than the marmosets-"

"-complete waste of time-"

"Detectives!" Chief Vick stopped them short. Lassiter and O'Hara made brief eye contact before awkwardly looking back to their superior. "We've brought in the top suspects for questioning...which is all of them."

"What? How?" Lassiter interjected.

"And so fast, too..." O'Hara murmured. The Chief gave them a stern look, which immediately quieted their chatter.

"You're going to do down there and interrogate them, okay?"

"Got it, Chief," Lassiter agreed for both of them, grimacing as the cuts across his eye started to swell. "Just...don't call Spencer in for this one."

"Too late!" a voice called from behind the detective. Lassiter winced; his ears had been boxed in the fight. Shawn Spencer strode in between the two detectives, his stupid grin fading a bit.

"Whoa, Jules, Lassie, what happened?"

"They had a little...run-in with the models," the Chief sighed. "Just solve this case before anything else happens. And Detective Lassiter, get that cut patched up."

Reviews are loved. ;) No offense to runway models and theatre kids everywhere. I'm sure you're all lovely people.

Next chapter: It was disgusting.