"Ah!" I squealed as the big green fish flopped around in the boat. Finnick and I rock the boat lunging for it. I feel a giddy pleasure as I grab it by the gills and lift it up. My eyes meet up with the lucid green ones of my best friend and I notice there is a devilish glint. Before I can scream I am in the air, then the water. The fish swims out of my grasp, I flail around under the water reaching for my big catch. My body feels as if it will explode soon; I push myself toward the surface. When I finally inhale, my sopping blonde hair slides down my throat causing me to cough.
"Finn! I'm going to kill you! I lost the fish!" I say brushing the hair out of my face.
"Sorry, got caught up in the moment." He apologizes as he pulls me back in the little wooden boat. I simply open my arms and he knows what is going to happen. To make it easier on himself he just walks into my arms. I give him a big, wet hug.
~O~O~O~
As we reach the shore, the sun is just beginning to set. We are are both worn out from the day's work. The sun drained our energy, and the salty ocean sticks to our skin. I fall to me knees on the damp sand and breathe a sigh of relief.
"Hey, we're all done now. I can take the fish back if you want." He offers. He's so sweet when it comes down to it.
"No, I want to spend as much time together as possible. You know what tomorrow is."
"The Reaping? You're not worried about that are you?" Finnick questions, offering his hand to help me up.
"Well yeah. I have worse odds this year." I say, not wanting to tell him what I had done.
"Everyone has worse odds each year! Plenty of people get through to eighteen and never get Reaped." He argues.
I pause. Do I tell him? "What?" He interrupts my thoughts. "You look like you're not telling me something. Lily?"
"I had to, Finn, I'm sorry." I whimper, my eyes welling with tears.
"No, you didn't. We promised each other!"
I look into his swimming green eyes. "I'm sorry, Finnick. I'm the only one in my family eligible for tessarae now. And we needed it."
He grabbed me, not in a light, comforting way, but a forceful, passionate way. I reciprocate the hug and stand there. "I could have helped you, you know." He whispers into my neck.
"I know. I just didn't want to bother you with it. And it's not like we can fix it now, the Reaping is tomorrow."
"There's nothing you could do that would bother me. But let's not worry about the Reaping. It's not likely you'll be chosen. And we still have tonight."
"Yeah, we can do whatever tonight. We just need to get these fish into town." I say pulling away.
~O~O~O~
That night I laid on the sand next to my best friend. The gentle waves lapped at our feet, and we sat there in a comfortable silence. After a while Finnick broke the silence.
"You know, I had a dream once where all of the stars just fell out of the sky." He tells me, gesturing to the vast space above us. "Everyone wanted one. They were so rare, even though there was like a million of them. I don't understand that part, but that's not the point. Eventually stars were such an amazing thing, that they were a prize for winning the Hunger Games. And I was in one, and I won. I got a star. But I gave mine to you. I mean, I never saw the point in having a star, but you loved them. You looked at them kinda like you are now, like you always have. You always get that look, but only when you look at something you really love, like the stars."
I laugh, I was gazing at the stars. I do love them.
"What was the point of telling me that?" I ask turning onto my side to face him.
"I don't know, just wanted to share. You have any deep dark secrets you want to share?"
~O~O~O~
The next day I am forced to dress up. My mother puts out a soft, light green dress for me to wear. I throw it on and run a brush through my nappy curls. Grains of sand fall onto my carpet, remnants from last night on the beach. Why did Finnick talk about such silly things?
Around 2 o'clock everyone in District 4 has gathered in the square. Peacekeepers dispersed through the crowd keep things in order. Our District escort, Fannia Yule, was dressed in a bright yellow material this year. She had a dark pink flower hat resting on her white hair. They started the short video about how Panem came to be, and how District 13 was wiped away. They do this every year to scare us. To scare us into submitting to the Capital's absolute power. I drift off into thinking about what a rebellion would be like. Sure it would be hard during, but wouldn't it all be worth it? I don't want my children to have to deal with the fear that I do now.
"Well, ladies first!"
My heart stops, I can't breath. Why am I so scared? It could never be me. Never. My face is nearly blue by the time Fannia calls out the girl tributes name. I don't recognize it. I let out the huff of air I was holding back in relief. I don't feel bad, should I feel bad for that?
"Next is our dashing young men." She purrs. Everyone knows she's a bit of a cougar. She is as flamboyant as could be, and rumor has it she hooked up with a few of the past victors.
I scan around the boy's sections and spot Finnick. He's already looking my way and smirking.
"Finnick Odair!" Both of our faces fall.
What? He's only fourteen. Someone will volunteer. He is walking down the aisle to the stage. Why isn't anyone volunteering? He steps onto the platform. My body starts to sway, my mind is rushing, my vision is...
I fainted.
I can't believe I never got to say goodbye to my best friend. I feel so lonely now. Right now he's on a train to his death and I am on my bed. I hope he's not crying too. I hope he knows I'm sorry for being a pansy. I hope he knows I'm sorry.