My Life After Death
I can't remember. Anything. My name. Where I'm from. Where I am. Just nothing. So I keep walking. Mostly at night. When the sun is up it hurts my eyes something fierce. The heat burns my skin, I can feel it crack and tear. It slows me down – this pain. The sun hurts so much. Maybe that's what happened and why I can't remember. A war. A bad war that ended with an atomic bomb. No more ozone layer, the sun is relentless. I can hear cicadas as I go down to the ground. The grass is cool and I lay there for a long time…or maybe just a few minutes, I don't really know. The last thought I have before falling asleep is: 'I'm so… hungry.'
Food! I can smell food and it gets me on my feet. It's darker out now, the horrid sun replaced by a full moon. I walk as fast as I can. I'm so close to the smell now. I round the corner at a gas station and grab for it. I hear something. Something like a scream. It's high pitched and annoying as I bite into my first meal in days. Whatever it is – it's delicious. Some kind of meat with lots of sauce that runs down my chin – hot and sticky. Oh my God, this is the best thing I have ever tasted. It jerks away but I grab another piece. This has less meat on it and my tooth catches a bone but I don't stop. I'm sure I'm so hungry that I bite right through it. The screaming is still in my ear. And it feels like someone is trying to yank my food away. I move upward, biting another piece. It's chewy and it takes a hard pull of my teeth to get it off but it finally comes with a snapping sound.
The screams are getting lower now. And the once delicious, warm food in my hand is getting cold. None the less I keep eating. There's something protruding from the food further up. Like a little steeple made of meat. I bit it off and the screams come back – right in my face. There's a hole in my food that's making noise so I cover it with my hand. I scratch it and pull at it and soon the screaming stops. Ah…peace and quiet. Although I'm sure I heard something like a car tire – squeaking not to far from me. I'm unconcerned with it as I finish my meal. Afterwards I'm tired again so I lay down and go to sleep.
When I wake up there's a man staring at me curiously. He's covered in red and his skin is grey and pale. The sun looks like it hurts his bloodshot eyes and he squints. I try to talk to him – ask him what happened, did he know anything but all that comes out of my mouth is a groan. It looks like he tries to say something too but with his lips gone it's kind of hard. Poor guy looks like he was mauled by bears. When I stand he manages to do so as well. When I start walking he limps along behind me. His arm dangling disjointed out of it's socket – his forearm badly mangled. His limp is due to his Achilles tendon being torn. The sun makes us slow down but the smell of more food is not far off. He's huffing and grunting as we get closer. He eats first and I join in soon after when my stomach cramps at the smell. Even after we are done I still feel hungry. It gnaws at me, making me shake. My back hurts – like I have the flu or something. My insides are on fire. All my muscles feel wrung out like I ran a marathon. I need to eat. I'm so hungry.
We find more food than we can possibly imagine ever needing. Some of it gets away but I eat so much that for a while I don't hurt as much. Something did hit me in the chest. I heard a loud bang and felt the same jab a few inches over. There's screaming. Lots of loud noise and it feels like something keeps jabbing me in my chest. I ignore it and keep eating. There are more people like me now. They can't speak but they eat with me and walk with me. We catch lots of food over the next few days…or is it hours? I don't know. Time passes kind of weird now. I know at night it's easier to see – which is odd. It's also easier to move without the sun beating down on me. During the day it's like I can't think. Sometimes not even enough to move so I just sit down and wait for nightfall. There's less and less food at night and more and more people afflicted like me during the day. We hang out together but every now and then I see someone wander off. I try to call out and tell them to stay – it's safer with the group but they just keep going. Oh well. Not my concern. I have to worry about…what was I thinking about again? God, it's hot.
One day it's so hot that I wander inside some where just to get out of the sun. I bump into racks of clothes and what not but the thing that stops me is a mirror. It's long and glued to a support pole in the middle of the room. At first I think it's another person so I grunt what I think is hello but when I see them moving exactly like me I step closer. I nearly cry at my reflection but all that comes out is a raspy whine. I touch the mirror just to be sure and yes – that ugly bitch staring back at me is me. What the hell happened to me! My skin, I'm not sure but it didn't used to be this color. Grey, green and nearly see through – my veins are nearly neon blue underneath. My eyes are red, my iris is clouded like I have cataracts. There's a hideous gash in my neck. Nasty looking teeth marks on my shoulder. Where my left breast use to be there is nothing but a sickening black crater – my shirt being half gone revealed that to me. My teeth are yellow and jagged – my chin streaked with red and black. My hair looks like someone set it on fire – dark and frizzy and half gone. Half of my nose is missing too. In its place is a row of oozing red lines. I look at myself for days…or maybe it's minutes.
A noise behind me gets my attention. The smell of food fills the room and I'm suddenly so hungry I growl. I turn around and see a man. But he isn't blue like the rest of us. He doesn't look like he's been through a fight with a grenade and lost. He's just standing there looking at me. He smells like food which is weird. I've been trying to get people to help me for months…or is it weeks. I don't know I can't remember what day I started walking. Maybe he can tell me. I try to speak but all that comes out are those damn grunts. Were my vocal cords damaged too? Oh my God he smells so good. Like short ribs and pork shops. All the foods I used to love. He smells like a damn barbeque. His arms! His arms look so delicious. Like a buffet – he smells like a buffet in my fantasy cook out. I lunged for him. I'm sure he'll understand. I'm so hungry he'll allow me just a little bite. He holds up something black and wide. And for a second something red on the end of it catches my eye. Something fires off the top of the black thing. Not making a sound except for a quiet click. Something hits me in the head and it feels like it's stuck there. Suddenly my legs don't work. I drop and I can't move. I can't smell him anymore but his boots comes down in my face. It feels like he grips what ever is in my head. He pulls and everything ends.
My hunger is gone, finally gone! And for a few seconds I remember who I used to be…or is it a life time?