Author's Notes: This is my first Avatar/Zutara fanfic and my first one since my hibernation. I have two more in the works but I finished this one first because of my incessant listening to Death Cab for Cutie. This was inspired by their song What Sarah Said.
This ship brought me back to my writing habits so kudos to Zutara! I love Zutara as much as the hardcore fans do. (winks) All hail Zutara! :)
Disclaimer: Avatar the Last Airbender does not belong to me but to the gods of the Avatarverse, Mike and Bryan. What Sarah Said is the property of DCFC. I only own the imagination behind this.
What Katara Said
Night fell on the Western Air Temple. The breeze was cool and so the Aang Gang huddled near the campfire for some warmth while eating dinner. Zuko looked at his motley companions. Even though they were quite different, it seemed they were at ease with each other. Everyone has their place. Even he, their once-enemy was beginning to have a place in the Gang. Uneasiness gradually budged after having "field trips" with Aang, Sokka, and most recently with Katara. And now it seemed that the ice had melted around him and everyone especially to Katara. Their journey to the Southern Raiders had redeemed him in Katara's eyes. He looked at her and she looked alright. She was even smiling at Sokka and Toph's antics. He smiled in spite of himself. He actually helped her and she forgave him. And now she seemed (although not completely) at ease.
Zuko gulped the last drop of his soup and decided to walk alone for a while. He put his bowl on the ground and left the campfire. He felt a pair of eyes watching him leave but he did not turn around to look who it was. He figured that the person would not even follow him.
He walked for minutes until he found a knoll. He went to the top and lied on the grassy ground while looking at the bright sky. The knoll was illuminated by the moon and the stars. He felt completely relaxed.
Just then, he felt something brush the top of his head. He looked up and saw Katara looking down at him. He immediately propped himself on his elbows. Katara just smiled and sat beside him.
"So, nice place?" asked Katara with a hint of teasing in her voice, gesturing at the grassy knoll.
Zuko smirked. "Yeah, being stuck in a temple with you guys gets really old fast."
Katara giggled and slapped him lightly on the back.
"Did you follow me here?" Zuko frowned.
"Oh… I… Um… Well, kinda…" said Katara blushing. "I'm sorry I barged into your alone time. I guess I have to leave."
She started to stand up but Zuko grabbed her arm. "No, it's fine. You can stay."
Katara mumbled "thanks" and sidled to Zuko. She hugged her knees and rested her chin on the top of them.
Zuko resumed his supine position with his hands on the back of his head. He stared at the sky. It looked really beautiful. The cool breeze tickled his skin. It was indeed a perfect evening. And Katara's presence was strangely more comforting than his initial plan of being alone.
He could not see Katara's face for her head was tucked on her knees. He thought he could guess what her face looked like. She might be frowning or her eyes might be downcast. Or her eyes could be closed. Or maybe she was weeping silently. Her lips might be pursed. Or maybe she was smiling or on the verge of a smile.
Or maybe she was just asleep.
Zuko decided to stop the guessing game and just look at her. He sat up and looked at her face. Her eyes were closed but a small smile was playing on her lips. He thought she was asleep but Katara opened her eyes. Even in the minimal light, he could see her bright blue eyes. She turned to him and the smile was now directed at him.
Zuko felt something in his stomach. He thought it was probably the soup. He ran his hand awkwardly on his hair and averted her smiling eyes.
"Oh, um… Are you okay?" Zuko asked meeting her eyes again.
"Yes. I think I am."
"Okay… That's good to hear." Zuko stared back at the sky again.
"Zuko, I want to say thank you again. I don't know how much thanks I can say to you. I wouldn't have closure if you hadn't helped me find my mother's killer," she said.
"It's no trouble at all. It's the least I could do after what I have done to all of you. One thank you is enough. I could never redeem myself to you or to Aang."
"It is not the amount of things you have to do for redemption. It is how you have done things to prove yourself worthy. And teaching Aang firebending, turning your back on your father to help us end the war, and helping me find my mother's killer, they're pretty worthy for redemption." Katara smiled again.
Zuko smiled back at her. He felt as if he was smiling truly for the first time. He felt relief wash over him. A huge relief that the girl he once betrayed was telling him he was redeemed, that he was trusted.
"Thank you. For accepting me. And for forgiving me."
"You're welcome." She looked at the sky. "You know Zuko, I had a lot of anger for Yon Rha. I wanted to kill him so badly but something was holding me back. I felt what Aang felt. I didn't want to be a murderer. I felt like I was going to stoop down to his level and I know my mother wouldn't want that. But then again, I can never forgive him."
Zuko looked at her. She was staring straight at the moon. Probably she was also telling her mother. He felt a lot of respect for Katara. If he was at her position, he would have killed Yon Rha right there and then. Sparing an unforgivable person's life was difficult.
Katara said something held her back. Zuko thought what could hold back rage? Was it honor? No, that was him. Was it cowardice? No, Katara was not a coward. He saw the fire in her eyes. She nearly killed the man. Then it hit him. It was simple but easily overlooked.
Love. Love held her back. She may be full of anger but love kept her from being a murderer. She loved her mother so much that she did not kill him. She was surrounded by people who loved her and she loved them back.
But what is love anyway? How could that one emotion run so deep that even anger can be stopped? This must be love was really like. Love in its purest form.
Zuko almost forgot what love was. All his life, he wanted his father's love but he received nothing but spite. He experienced love through his mother but that was only for a short while until she was banished. How could he forget his dear Uncle Iroh? He loved Zuko like a son and he overlooked it. His face burned in shame.
Who else would love him? Given his dark history, who would accept him as he was? Katara had accepted him but would Katara love him as much as she loved her friends and family? She seemed like a loving person. He wondered what Katara thought of love.
He snuck a look at Katara and saw that she was no longer smiling. Tears were falling from her eyes while looking at the moon. Zuko thought that she must be conversing with her mother in the spirit world.
"Love is watching someone die."
Zuko thought it was the moon spirit who said that but it was Katara. It was as if she heard what Zuko was thinking. Even though she said it very softly, her words reverberated in his head.
Katara brushed her eyes and gave Zuko a tearful smile. She put her arms around Zuko. He was caught off-guard for a moment but gave in to her warm embrace. Her words were still ringing in his ears.
"So who's gonna watch you die?" he whispered in her ear.
"Will you watch me?" she asked as she pulled away. Her eyes searched into his amber eyes and turned them away almost instantly. Before Zuko could say anything, she stood up and left him alone on the knoll.
Zuko watched Katara leave. He wanted to call her back but he could not find his voice. A bit frustrated, he collapsed on the ground and looked at the starry sky.
Her profound statement sank into his heart. He realized that love is painful for her too. Love is never easy.
"Will you watch me?"
A ghost of her voice drifted through the air. Her question confused him momentarily. But Zuko knew the answer.
Please review!! Constructive criticisms are very welcome. :)
