Ass-U-Me-Ing

Summary: Allen Walker is a grim reaper who ends up falling for the mortal and 'helpless' Kanda Yuu. However, while Kanda is a mortal he may be stronger than Allen thinks... Yullen Allenda

Warnings: Kanda (half) swears. Because he's Kanda.

Not beta'd, so feel free to point out stupid mistakes

I don't own D. Gray-man

Chapter One

"Where were you last night?"

Allen sighed, then smiled as he turned around.

"Hello, Rhode." The girl standing in front of him smiled as she licked a giant lollipop. Ignoring his greeting, she continued.

"You were shirking your duties again, I see." Rhode scooted closer to him, smirking as she took a bite out of her candy. "Not that I mind of course. However, a bit of warning would be nice before you go MIA on us. Tyki and I can't always be there to mess with newly dead souls." She sighed. "I have no clue how you can be so interested in humans while being one of the best grim reapers in heaven."

Allen, forever a gentleman, maintained his polite smile while he replied.

"Thanks for always covering for me. Now if you'll excuse me, I do have to go and check in again."

"No need for that." Tyki appeared next to the two. Allen shot them a confused look. "You see, Rhode and I have decided that if you're planning to skip work so much, you might as well just take an official vacation. Knowing you, you wouldn't care for our idea of a vacation, so we had a nice talk with our good friend and boss the Earl and decided to give you a year in the human world, attending a school entirely unrelated to our profession as to satisfy your people fetish. Of course, such a personalized vacation has its setbacks, and you will still have to work at night in compensation for your 'human' life."

Allen's smile twitched slightly at the phrase 'people fetish', but he was too grateful to punch Tyki. He had wanted to return to being human, but hadn't known it was possible. This was probably the closest he would get, and he knew it. Opening his mouth, he began to speak.

"I don't know how to thank you guys-" Tyki cut him off.

"You don't need to. We know you too well. Now goodbye, darling~" His hand went forward and pushed Allen off the platform that the three had been standing on.

Contrary to what most people seemed to think, only a select few grim reapers were able to fly. Allen was not one of them.

Having died at sixteen, however, he still had that crazy bit of recklessness that every teenager had and he decided that if Tyki was going to suffer from this, Allen himself would have to grab onto something before he hit the ground. Unfortunately, there was nothing nearby to grab. After waiting a moment for himself to fall further, he managed to grab the branch of a poor, unsuspecting tree. As expected, he didn't have the strength to hold on, but the grab helped him slow his descent enough so that he wouldn't die when he hit the ground.

Boom.

Despite his precautions, Allen was still pretty sure that he had left a dent his exact shape in the ground where he'd landed. As he lay there, he wondered what he was supposed to do. He had no clue what the school he was to be attending was called, nor did he have any money on him. In fact, he wasn't too sure where exactly he was. Which was why he came to a simple conclusion.

I'll lie here and get the help of some stranger who passes by. It's against human morals to leave someone just lying on the ground when the person needs help.

Allen was, of course, ignoring the fact that somehow people still managed to die on the streets every day.

As he looked around from under half-closed eyes, Allen saw a figure approaching. Wondering why the person didn't seem to notice him, he quickly realized that he wasn't visible from the person's viewpoint (he was lying directly behind a log that the person was approaching). Quickly, he fully closed his eyes and rolled twice away from the log.

"Fu-!" Allen looked up to see a tall, dark-haired beauty nearly trip over him.

Mmmm, totally my type. If only he were a girl.

"What the F are you doing just lying there for? The ground isn't a hotel made specially for you!" The 'Darkhaired Bitc*', as Allen decided to dub the man, strode off muttering swears under his breath.

...Well, I guess people don't follow human morals here. Allen thought, slightly annoyed.

However, 30 seconds later another guy skipped in Allen's direction.

"Wait up, Yuu, beautiful!~" A boy with bright orange hair and a carefree smile skidded to a stop right next to Allen.

"Oh? What do we have here? A new student?" He looked down at Allen, then held out a hand to him and helped him stand. "I bet you're lost and Yuu was as rude as always and ignored you!" He said, his bright smile not faltering for a second. "Don't worry, I'll take you to the main office. I'm Lavi, by the way."

"...How do you know that I'm a new student?" Allen asked. Lavi looked back at him confidently.

"That's easy. It's because I know everything!"

...To do with the school. xD Lavi sounds so cocky there.

Okay, so I was feeling a bit guilty about not uploading anything new since forever which is why I uploaded this. I'm not too satisfied with how it turned out, but I've been wanting to see a story like this for a while so I just went and uploaded it. (Actually, the part of the story I'm the most proud of so far is the summary OTL)

Stupid title is because I suck at making titles and also because I'm pretty sure that there's going to be at least one wrong assumption every chapter that turns out wrong.

Major apologies to those reading 'Gate' or 'Girlfriend', My iPod had all the notes for all my stories (including prompt ideas-sob!) and it decided to crash on me. Because I never sync with a computer, the notes are all gone and I can't bring myself to rewrite them, or more like I don't remember any of the stuff on them, so I don't know when those stories will be next updated.

Other than that, thanks for reading(or scrolling down to the bottom of the page)! If you know what the assumption was for this chapter, please press the big blue 'Review' button and tell me. Thank You! ;D