Title: The rules of dating.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to the show or any actually events. I do own most of these rules though, lol.
Summary: I skipped Lindsey ahead a few years, she's 16. Lindsey Willows tells the CSI team her take on dating…and deals with the reactions…
Rating: pg-13 (mostly)
The Rules of Dating…
Lindsey Willows threw open her front door and dropped her school bag onto the floor in the hall way and burst into the living room.
Her mom Catherine was there with Warrick Brown, Nick Stokes and Sara Sidle. Lindsey was far from happy.
"What's up, Linds?" her mom asked her as she stood in the doorway of the living room.
"Guy's suck."
"What happened?" Sara asked her
"Men happened" Catherine hid a smile.
"You wanna elaborate?" Nick asked her
"I thought about this the whole way home…I think I have it all figured out"
"Really? Then I'm ready to hear 'cos I've been tryna figure out men since I was 13" Sara said
"Oh, I just gotta hear this" Warrick commented folding his arms and leaning back in the chair.
Lindsey shrugged off her zipper and threw it over the back of one of the other chairs.
"Ok, Rule one. Men are idiots!"
"You noticed that, huh?" Catherine asked her. Warrick threw a cushion at Cath
"Rule two. They don't know what the hell they want!"
"She's good" Sara said to Cath. Nick looked at Rick, they were out voted
"Rule three… they all want commitment till ya give it too 'em"
"Hey!" Nick and Warrick cried at the same time
"What? It's true! And I'm not done" Lindsey said
"Carry on rippin' us apart then Miss Willow's" Nick told her
"Rule four…so they get commitment…then they want their freedom…so naturally you oblige…then they try to accuse you of being wit someone else!"
"Where were you when I was 16?" Sara asked her
"Then of course there's Rule five…you can't win no matter what the hell you do!"
"What the hell does that mean!" Nick cried
"It means that we could wear the shortest skirt we own, and it would be TOO short, or we could wear a longer one and it wouldn't be short enough" Lindsey told him crossing her arms.
Cath looked at Rick, who looked at Nick, who shrugged. Sara shoved him. He looked at her and she raised an eyebrow in challenge. He threw her a grin instead and sat back on the chair.
"I think this conversation is sexist" Warrick said. Cath hit him over the head
"This brings me to Rule six…If it's not soccer, food or sex…it gets disregarded real fast"
"There's the one I wanted to hear!" Cath said.
"Ok, that's just not true" Warrick said.
"No, but see Rick, it is! Coz men suck. It's a fault in your genetics. It's like an airbag in your car…It comes as standard."
Catherine and Sara burst into laughter and couldn't contain it. When they finally calmed down, Cath was wiping tears from her eyes and Sara had one arm clutching her stomach. Nick and Rick looked less than impressed.
"You done?" Nick asked 16 year old Lindsey
"No. Rule seven…If they actually tell you where they goin'…that's NOT where they're goin'"
"Ok, explain that one Linds" Sara looked confused.
"Sure. It's like this…For example, if they say "Am goin to my grandparent's house" and it just so happens to be a Saturday night, they're actually goin' to see their secret girlfriend that lives 3 streets from ya"
"That is so stereotypical that ALL men are like that." Nick said
"Yea, not all of us step out on their girls" Rick told her.
"Yea a'ight Rick…anyways Rule Eight…whatever you do…don't give in…it screws with their head coz there actually big wimps under that whole tough guy kick ass attitude"
"Shoulda took notes on this…" Sara said. Nick turned his body slightly to face her and she smiled innocently.
"How about you sleep on the sofa tonight then?" Nick asked her
"You wouldn't…" She challenged him, almost in a dare
"Ohhh, I would" Nick told her.
"Guys…domestics outside please…blood's pretty hard to get out of the carpet…plus when I get questioned about your murders I won't be lyin' when I say I didn't see anything…" Lindsey told them. This time it was Rick who was laughing.
"Yea, she's definitely your daughter, Cath" He told her
"Ok, if you guys are done, am not…I believe we're at Rule nine?"
"How many Rules you got?" Cath asked her
"Ten…Rule nine…Never underestimate the fragility of the male ego"
"What!" Rick asked her
"Put it this way…never talk to you're guy's best mate at any kind of party where you're guy is not right next to you at the time of the conversation…he immediately fly's for your hip to make sure your not flirtin…"
"You guy's cannot argue with that! You do it all the time!" Cath said.
" No, we don't!"
"Nick, every time Greg so much as look's at Sara, you get that look that say's, "Try it, I'll kill you" and Rick, remember that time we met that guy you knew from college? I thought you were gonna strangle him!" Cath told them.
Sara turned to Nick with a "See?" look on her face. It was true. Nick had told her at the start of the relationship, in joking, that Greg would only have to look at her in the wrong way and he'd kill him. He was protective of her around Greg. Warrick looked at Cath. She cocked her head side ways, daring him to deny it. They'd met Aaron Hawkins, that Rick knew from growing up and he hadn't been able to take his eyes off of Cath. Rick had almost took him out right there in the middle of sidewalk. Rick threw his hand's up, giving in. Nick simply shrugged.
"And finally we have Rule ten…" Said Lindsey who had watched the entire exchange in interest.
"Ohhh god, there's more!" Nick cried
"You've done enough damage, girl!"
"Ohhh no, she finishes!" Sara told the two of them.
"Rule ten…We will always be the better sex…no matter what you think…why? Because we have better clothes, shoes and more sex appeal than you'd know what to do with. Plus, we're stronger. Why? Because you guy's wouldn't last a day in our monthly cycle."
"I'm beginnin' to wanna bury you under the patio" Warrick said, clearly in a sulk
"I believe you call that case closed…Bottom line from the jury? Men Suck."
Lindsey turned and walked outta the room leaving Cath and Sara in laughter and Nick and Rick completely and utterly out voted and wondering what the hell was going on in there girlfriends heads.
hit the button and tell me what yoo think!