Disclaimer: I don't own The Avengers or The Mask, nor do I make any money from the writing of this story. Simple enough, ne? Just don't copy from this story and we're all good!
...
Cuban Pete
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What if Loki hadn't wanted to go with the Avengers at the Germany confrontation?
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Loki was staring down a high-caliber machine-gun, the original star-spangled super soldier, and a suit of armor with enough armaments to take down a small dictatorship.
What was a god of mischief to do?
He brought his hands up, mindful of what was trained on him...and snapped his fingers. "Hit it!"
The spotlights from the gala behind him, the warplane above him, and the gathering police were suddenly all centered right on him, and in the time it took the spectators to blink at the bright light Loki's green and gold outfit was gone. Instead there was a blue shirt with frilly sleeves, white pants, a black hat complete with dangly ornaments...and maracas.
Instantly, the PA system that had been used to herald Iron Man's arrival began playing a very different tune.
Loki then took out his maracas, and he started to sing.
"They call me Cuban Pete. I'm the king of the rumba beat.
When I play the maracas I go chick-chicky-boom, chick-chicky boom
Yessir, I'm Cuban Pete. I'm the craze of my native street.
When I start to dance, everything goes chick-chicky-boom, chick-chicky boom."
Everyone could only stare as he danced around, around a confused Captain America, a mystified metal man, and a stupefied SHIELD audience, even as some started to feel the beat and began dancing with him.
"The senoritas they sing and they swing with terampero-
It's very nice, so full of spice.
And when they dance in they bring a happy ring that era keros-
Singin' a song, all the day long.
So if you like the beat, take a lesson from Cuban Pete
And I'll teach you to chick-chicky-boom, chick-chicky-boom."
He waved his fingers, and just like that Natasha Romanov, the infamous Black Widow, was singing through the speakers of her plane.
"He's really a modest guy, although he's the hottest guy
In Havana, in havana."
Loki couldn't help but smile as he swung amidst the stage he had made, and went on,
"Si, sinorita I know that you would like to chicky-boom-chick
It's very nice, so full of spice.
I'll place my hand on your hip, and if you will just give me your hand
Then we shall try - just you and I. I-yi-yi!
So if you like the beat, take a lesson from Cuban Pete
And I'll teach you chick-chicky-boom, chick-chicky-boom, chick-chicky-boom
Shake Your Booty, Daddy, Wow!
See ya!"
ZWING!
And just like that, with a smoke outline of his figure, he was gone.
Everyone blinked.
Steve Rogers said what the world was thinking:
"What the hell just happened?"
The End
Author's Notes: Just something funny that came to mind when I was strolling through Youtube, and I figured I didn't have enough silly posted amongst my stories. Don't worry on that point, nothing has been abandoned, but it's summer and things get crazy for everyone, I'm sure.
To best get this, look up Cuban Pete from The Mask on Youtube. It's hilarious! Your imagination pretty much fills in the rest, LOL!
Sabr.