They had dated for awhile; longer than Blaine had ever dated anyone before. He admitted to there being somebody else. It's casual, so there are no strings, right? He was allowed to date other people, right? When he told the truth, he mentioned how he wanted to be the boyfriend. He wanted to know where he stood. He wanted to tell the world. He promised he would break it off with the other, that it would just have one. That's when it ended. He swore he was done. He had fallen so hard this time, and he wasn't quite sure how to stand himself back up. No more dating, no more crushes, no more trying. If he couldn't have Kurt, he didn't want anybody.
The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You're barely waking
And I'm tangled up in you, yeah.
Kurt was madly in love with Blaine. All of his friends, his family, and even a few total strangers knew it. When he first saw the boy descending the Dalton Academy staircase, his heart all but stopped beating. When Blaine asked him out for Valentine's Day, he was sure he was dreaming. And so it began..
Kurt had the best time with Blaine last night. He had spent no less than three hours getting ready for their first date, and when he finally left the house to meet up with his first Valentine, one would think the smile he bore was permanently etched across his face. They had gotten dinner, and then met up with some of the Warblers for bowling. As far as wearing other people's shoes, Kurt was having none of it; he watched his friends from the side, occasionally receiving playful winks from his date. At the end of the night, Blaine walked Kurt out to his car. They stood there for a few seconds just staring into each other's eyes, Kurt wordlessly granting Blaine permission to kiss him. He didn't.
After Valentine's Day, the boys went on a date every weekend. Kurt was the happiest he had been in a long time; he was wanted for the first time ever.
I'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again
Blaine hadn't felt this way about anyone ever. The only problem was that he wanted to be Kurt's boyfriend. He wanted to be exclusively Kurt's, and Kurt be exclusively his. He wanted to hold his hand as they walked down the hall, and call him by many terms of endearment. He wanted to point to Kurt from across the room and say to his friends, "That's him." Blaine wanted to have everything with Kurt, but he knew Kurt was not ready to be in a relationship. He knew he had been burned badly in the past and was not quite ready to fully open himself up. Blaine knew it, but that didn't stop him from trying.
He found himself opening up more and more to Kurt with each day, telling him stories of his childhood, his family, along with what he wants to do in the future. He was much more open than Kurt, willing to spill any details about himself.
The first weekend he spent without Kurt found him at the local mall with Wes and David. The boys never had the chance to hang out with each other because they were all so busy, so this was a nice and rare occasion. They were having a blast wreaking havoc as teenage boys do when Blaine found his path stopped by a stranger staring straight at him. The boy in front of him was attractive to say the least. He had big, brown eyes, honey blonde hair, muscular arms, and even a dazzling smile.
"Hi," the boy greeted Blaine, smiling brightly.
"H-hi," Blaine responded, trying to return the smile.
"I'm Jason."
"Blaine."
"Nice to meet you, Blaine," Jason said, his smile still planted on his lips. "Would you like to maybe get some, uh, coffee?"
"Uh," Blaine said before he looked at Wes and David and saw the two boys smiling knowingly at him; Wes nodded for him to go with Jason. "Sure."
Blaine found that he really liked Jason. They had similar tastes in music and in movies, they were both massive coffee addicts, the other boy could even dance. Everything Blaine said, Jason seemed to be genuinely interested in. The two exchanged phone numbers after they had both drained two cups of coffee each and parted ways, assuring each other that they would keep in touch. They did.
Blaine found himself lying to Kurt for the first time that week. Kurt had mentioned the upcoming weekend, wondering if Blaine wanted to do something or not. Blaine lied and said he had something to do with his mother, and he would have to get a rain check. Kurt seemed to be upset, but he said he understood. And so Blaine went on a date with Jason.
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find you and I collide
When Kurt learned of Blaine's other romantic prospect, he found himself becoming very jealous. He knew that they weren't exclusive and were allowed to date other people, but he wasn't prepared to learn Blaine was actually doing just that.
What made it worse was when Blaine told Kurt that Jason wanted to be in a relationship. Kurt knew that Blaine wanted to be in a relationship, and he also knew that his heart just might break if it was with anybody but himself. So he told Blaine he would try, that it wouldn't happen overnight, but he would try to get to that point with him.
The next day, he received a text saying it was him and only him, now.
He and Blaine were huddled together on one of the couches in the Senior commons watching a movie on Blaine's laptop. Kurt was half-asleep until one of Blaine's excited outbursts. Kurt looked up at his.. what was he? A Suitor? His friend-with-not-so-many-benefits? Whatever Blaine was, Kurt looked up with a slight grin peeking from the side of his lips. He pulled Blaine back down quickly, though, and curled into his side once more.
When Blaine walked Kurt back to his room that night, the two boys stood outside the door for a few minutes just staring into each other's eyes. The moment paralleled that on Valentine's Day, but Kurt hoped he would leave this moment with his first real kiss. With his eyes, Kurt willed Blaine to lean in, but once again he came up short. Blaine simply squeezed Kurt's hand before letting go and heading to his own dorm room.
He is still not sure what made him do it, but that night, Kurt told Blaine he thought it would be best if they just remained friends. He told Blaine he wasn't being fair to him by getting everything he had ever wanted, but not returning the gesture. He loved the boy, he knew that, but he just could not let him in the way he knew Blaine wanted. The whole thing broke his heart.
I'm quiet you know
You make a first impression
I've found I'm scared to know
I'm always on your mind
Blaine told Kurt he was done. He had fallen, and fallen hard. He was through with dating. No more prospects, no more chasing after crushes. It hurt too much.
A week passed without hearing a word from Kurt, but he still wanted to be friends. A week after that and Blaine had a new boyfriend, Dominic.
Blaine knew that Kurt wasn't over him; he was reminded daily. It scared him. He had real feelings for Dominic, but he knew he had stronger feelings for Kurt. He tried to push them aside. He could still be Kurt's friend at the least. They could still watch movies, get coffee, and tell each other about their days. Kurt could still tell Blaine of all the goings-on at McKinley that his friends so graciously shared with him, and Blaine could still confide in Kurt about his father. Dominic didn't board at Dalton, so ultimately Blaine spent more time with Kurt. The feelings he tried to squash continued to resurface, but he was sure Kurt was over him now. It had been over two months.
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find you and I collide
One Friday night, Blaine and Kurt went to see a movie. On their way back to Dalton, Kurt spoke up from the passenger's seat.
"What do you think we would be to each other if I hadn't broken it off?"
Blaine was silent for a minute. He did not expect Kurt to ask him that. After thinking about his answer, he responded.
"Probably the same as we ended," he said. "You don't want a boyfriend."
"What if that has, uh, changed?" Kurt asked.
"Kurt-"
"No, Blaine, listen," Kurt cut him off, "I was wrong. I was stupid. Here I was praying to a God I don't even believe in for someone like you to come along, and when you do I tell you to take a hike. You are wonderful. You are my best friend, but I want more than that and you know it. I shouldn't have ended it over something so stupid. I can give you what you want, I just didn't know it at the time. You make me feel the things I have always wanted, but it scares me. In the back of my mind, I know you will just hurt me. When I'm alone, I am terrified of what will be, but when we're together none of that matters to me. I know you're with Dominic, now, but I would regret not telling you how I feel. I think I may just- well, I really like you. Even now. I still do."
By the time Kurt had ended his speech, Blaine had successfully parked in the student parking lot at Dalton and killed the engine. He had turned to face Kurt, but remained silent.
"Please, uh," Kurt mumbled, "say something?"
"I-," Blaine's nervousness apparent in his voice, "uh, I'm with Dominic, Kurt."
"Can I ask you a question?"
"Sure," Blaine said, sounding more apprehensive every minute.
"Is Dominic who you really want?"
The hesitation before his response said all that Kurt needed to know. Slowly, so he could give Blaine ample time to stop him, he leaned over and pressed his lips to Blaine's.
The kiss was short, but it spoke volumes. Kurt poured all of his heart into it, and Blaine's response was more than enough to let him know they were on the same page. When Kurt finally pulled away, he opened his eyes to stare down into Blaine's. Kurt could feel a smile tugging at his lips from the pure love radiating from Blaine's hazel eyes. Finally, something was going right.
Don't stop here
I lost my place
I'm close behind
Kurt and Blaine stumbled into Kurt's room and toppled onto the sofa sitting in the corner. With Blaine on the bottom, he curled his arms around Kurt's waist and pulled the beautiful boy towards him. He deepened the kiss, running his tongue along Kurt's lower lip. Kurt parted his lips allowing Blaine access. Kurt could feel Blaine's hands running up and down his sides, and finally they tugged at the hem of his shirt, slipping underneath the fabric. Kurt's hands played with Blaine's tight curls as he kissed the boy beneath him. He felt Blaine's thumb tease his right nipple, and instantly let out a moan into Blaine's mouth.
Suddenly, Kurt pulled back. He looked into Blaine's eyes, but not with love or adoration. Tears began to pool in Kurt's eyes and he looked humiliated. Blaine sat up and made to pull Kurt closer to him in comfort, but Kurt jerked away.
"I think you need to leave," Kurt said almost completely inaudibly.
"W-what?" Blaine asked.
"We can't do this, Blaine," Kurt muttered, "you have a boyfriend. A boyfriend who isn't me."
"But you're the one that I want, Kurt."
"But I'm not the one that you have," Kurt stated, "I won't be the other woman, Blaine. I think you need to leave, now."
"No," Blaine refused, "you don't get to kiss me and then tell me to leave. You made the first move!"
"And it was a mistake."
Blaine wasn't sure he had heard that right, but the look on Kurt's face told him he had. He could feel his heart breaking at the words, so he stood up and walked right out of the room.
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills your mind
You finally find you and I collide
Three weeks passed this time without a single word from Kurt. Blaine was not going to lose his best friend over this. He found himself standing outside of Kurt's door one night, continually raising and lowering his fist to knock. When he finally plucked up the courage and knocked, the door swung open almost instantly revealing a very disheveled-looking Kurt.
"Oh," Blaine said, "hi."
"Hi."
"Can I, uh," Blaine stumbled over his words, "can I come in?"
Kurt didn't answer but simply moved out of Blaine's way and gestured for him to come inside.
Blaine walked in and stood awkwardly in the center of the room, staring down at his feet and fiddling with his thumbs.
"You can sit," Kurt stated.
"Oh," Blaine was startled to hear Kurt's voice so level, "uh, thanks." He walked over to the couch and sat down, still fiddling with his thumbs and avoiding looking at Kurt.
"Can I help you?" Kurt asked.
"I broke up with Dominic," Blaine blurted out before thinking about it.
"Oh."
"It just didn't feel right," Blaine said.
The room was suddenly filled with the loudest silence Blaine had ever sat through. He had taken to picking spots on Kurt's walls and staring at them, still avoiding making eye contact. After what seemed like hours had passed, Blaine spoke up again.
"It's you that I want, Kurt. It always has been."
"I want you, too, Blaine."
At these words, Blaine stood up and closed the gap between himself and Kurt. He immediately reached for Kurt's hand and intertwined their fingers. He gazed up into Kurt's eyes and saw the tears Kurt was fighting back. When one finally fell down his cheek, Blaine took his other hand and wiped his thumb across Kurt's cheek. Still cupping his face, Blaine leaned in and captured Kurt's lips in a sweet kiss. He poured every emotion he felt towards the boy into it. He wanted Kurt to know that he was serious, and that this is real to him. When Blaine pulled back, Kurt was the first one to break the silence.
"I want to be your boyfriend. I want you to be mine. I want to hold you and hug you and kiss you and laugh with you and cuddle with you and smile because of you and call you my boyfriend. I have missed you so much, Blaine, and now I want you forever."
"I love you, Kurt Hummel," was all Blaine could say before responding with another kiss, this one full of passion and love.
You finally find you and I collide
You finally find you and I collide.