Five years ago I wrote my first Christmas story for Criminal Minds. The title that I used was "This Gift" by 98 Degrees. When I started writing this story back in February of this year, I had no idea where I wanted to go, so I shelved it... Until I spoke to my friend, Ingeborg. Due to circumstances beyond my control, I was not able to send her the Christmas gift she wanted, so I offered to write a story. As I started and stopped – a dozen times - her request for a continuation of "Terra Incognito", I realized that I had it all along. So I polished this piece up, and twisted it to make it a Christmas story. Instead of using one of the proposed songs, I'm going with "The Gift" by Jim Brickman. When you listen to the lyrics, I am sure that you will agree that there is no more perfect song to describe our beloved CaReese. Tonight as we celebrate the birth of our Saviour, let us remember what the true meaning of the season is really about: Eternal Love and Everlasting Life. May God always bless you.
Song prompt: "The Gift" by Jim Brickman, Collin Raye, and Susan Ashton
Dedicated to Ingeborg.
The Gift
Lying on the cold hard ground, John Reese could feel the harsh wind cut through his wool coat and sting his skin. He considered moving, but the strength was leaving his body almost as fast as the blood and leaving him with a weird kind of euphoria. Yes, the snow was falling all around him, and he really should try to crawl to the cabin to call for help, but he no longer cared. Besides, he was tired; he'd do it later.
Get up, soldier, called a voice from the distance.
Joss?! No, he thought to himself, Joss is gone, dead. But the voice came again propelling him to live and survive.
"Joss," he whispered to the cold night air – although not so cold now. No, it was bringing him a certain kind of comfort that he could explain. Maybe he was dying. Yeah, he thought ironically, everything he had been through, and a single bullet was going to take him out.
Closing his eyes, he tried to remember the talk in the car, but even that was fading from his memory. Besides, it was taking too much energy; he needed to rest, first. Then he would take care of business.
Bright lights in the distance broke into his thoughts and caused him to grimace. Weakly he tried to raise his hands up to ward off the offensive intruder, but it was no use; the light seemed to grow brighter and bigger, until it surrounded and consumed him.
"John!"
He heard her voice again. He tried to tell her that he was too tired, but the words wouldn't come.
"John! Wake up! Don't you leave me!" she ordered him in her best Warrant Officer tone. He smiled. She was pulling rank on him. He tried to wave her off. He wanted to sleep.
"John! Wake up!"
The light grew brighter. He tried to throw his hand up to block it, but he couldn't. It was pulling him in, devouring him whole. He tried to fight it, but he was helpless. Giving up, he simply gave in...
"JOHN!"
Stunned by the power of Joss' tone, Reese pulled himself back. Slowly he opened his eyes. Blinking quickly, he tried to comprehend his surroundings. Everything was white, but not from snow.
"Where am I?" he asked hoarsely. His throat burned and he was cold. He looked up and saw Joss standing over him. The light from above cast a halo around her head. He blinked twice to clear his vision.
"Am I dead?"
"Shhh...take it slow."
"Joss...what are...?" He tried to finish his words, but the strength was leaving his body. Joss was beside him and he could slip back into his reverie comfortable in the knowledge that she was alive.
"Well, look who's awake," Fusco's booming voice startled Reese back into consciousness. "About time you woke up, Wonder Boy. And you're just in time for the holidays." Walking into the room, he held in his hands a mini Christmas tree.
Reese slowly opened his eyes. "Lionel? What are you doing here?" He was supposed to be dead, Reese wondered vaguely to himself, so why was the portly detective standing at the foot of his bed? And was that a tree he was holding?
"Gloating and wondering how the hell you're still alive after catching two more bullets," Lionel replied with his infamous Cheshire cat grin. He rocked back on his heels.
"Bullets?" Reese asked stupidly.
"Yeah. Two of them. When are you going to learn to put your vest on?" Lionel berated his friend. "You are kick ass, but you're not bullet proof."
"Thanks, Lionel," Reese replied. His tongue was thick and he needed to wet his whistle. "Water...please." He felt the straw against his lips. Slowly he sucked. He relished in the cold water going down his throat. Getting his fill, he leaned his head back. "Thanks."
"We didn't think you'd ever wake up," Finch appeared from literally no where. Genuine relief was on his face now that John was awake. He could finally take a deep breath.
"How long have I been out?"
"Nearly two weeks. You missed all the news coverage of the 8th's hero cop," Lionel ribbed, but his eyes were full of admiration for his partner.
"You got lucky. Again," Shaw piped up. "One more inch to the left, and we would be burying the 'Man In The Suit' instead of standing around his bed." Were Reese's eyes deceiving him or was that a small smile on the usually stoic woman's face? He watched as she came around to where he lay and took his wrist in her hand.
"Your pulse is a little rapid, but that's to be expected. Let me see your eyes. Look up," she ordered and shined a light. "Normal." She took a step back. "I think you're going to live."
"Don't tell me that you're my tending?" John asked in a tone of disbelief. He took in her white physician's coat and hospital ID attached to the breast pocket.
"Yep. Must be your lucky day."
"Yeah. Lucky me." Reese closed his eyes and tried to channel the discomfort of his ribs screaming with every breath he took.
"Luck had nothing to do with it," Lionel interjected quickly. "If it hadn't been for Cocoa Puffs alerting Finch about Simmons' plan to ambush you and Carter, help might have arrived too late."
Startled by the revelation, Reese's eyes flew to the woman holding his hand. "I remember. Simmons killed you."
"Close, but not quite. I killed him," Joss corrected.
"No. No." Reese shook his head in denial. He had been there and remembered it clear as day. He remembered holding Joss as the life flowed out of her. He remembered sobbing and calling her name while he held her under the lone streetlight. He remembered the damn phone ringing.
Reese looked around at the motley crew standing around him. He had to be in heaven or hell. He wasn't sure, but he knew that he wasn't alive. "You're supposed to be dead," he looked at Joss. "And you," he nodded toward Shaw, "you're supposed to be missing and probably dead – I don't know. And you," he turned his eyes on Fusco, "I'm your partner."
"You're my partner?" Fusco retorted. "Pffft! I think the shot ricocheted off your liver and hit you in the head."
"It happened," Reese protested. If only he could get his thoughts together, then maybe he could explain it better. But at the moment, nothing was making sense. Not his friends, not his surroundings. He felt lost.
"I think he's getting a little excited, guys," Joss observed. "I think we should give him some air."
"I'm going to get some coffee; everyone but Joss should do the same," Shaw volunteered. "Then I need to check on your hand, Lionel."
"It's fine," he protested and held up his plaster encased hand. "See? I can move my fingers. Ow!"
"Exactly. It needs to be examined."
"Along with his head," Root muttered.
"Nag, nag, nag," he groused under his breath.
"Keep it up, Lionel," Shaw cautioned, "or you'll be getting a matching cast. You're incorrigible."
"Waiting around for Wonder Boy to wake up made me hungry. I'm going to get something to eat," Lionel spoke up. He looked to Joss. "Do you want anything?"
"Coffee..."
"Cream, no sugar," Lionel finished. "Yeah, I know." He grinned at his mutual friends. "I'll be back."
"You're still a pain in my ass," Reese whispered.
"Glad I could return the favour," Lionel replied with a short laugh. "Good to know the coma didn't change you."
"I'll be on my feet soon enough."
"Until then, you are going to lay back and rest," Joss ordered. "Get going, Lionel, before Superman here thinks he's well enough to leap tall buildings in a single bound."
Lionel raised his eyebrows in mock surprise. "You're in trouble now, mister." He opened the door. "Behave yourself," he ordered before stepping out with Shaw and the door closed behind them.
Finch looked at his watch. "I need to go feed Bear. I'll be back," he promised. He grabbed his coat off the back of the cheap leather chair. Donning it, he looked at the man he considered his best friend and only family.
He left a brightly wrapped gift on the roll-away table. "This is for later. Take care of him, Detective."
Joss smiled warmly. "I'll guard him with my life." Finch hesitated. "Go, Finch. He'll be here when you get back."
A wealth of emotions darted across Finch's face. "Thank you, Joss. Merry Christmas." He opened the door and disappeared out into the hallway. A peaceful silence – occasionally interrupted by the beeping of the heart monitor – filled the room.
"What day is it?" Reese wondered.
"Christmas Eve."
"Christmas Eve?" Reese shook his head. Was it possible?
"What's wrong?" Joss asked.
"Was I dreaming?"
"What do you mean?"
"Getting shot. You dying in my arms. It was real, Joss." His weary blue eyes searched her face for answers – any answers that would explain what had transpired after the shooting.
Taking his hand in hers, Joss sat down on the edge of the bed. "Your wounds were pretty severe, John. And you came close to dying on the operating table. The doctors weren't too optimistic with your chances of survival."
"I think I died."
"You flat-lined in the ambulance," Joss confirmed the fact. "You almost left me."
"I'm sorry, Joss."
She cupped his face in her hands. "Don't ever do that again."
"I promise."
"You know, you talked a lot while you were unconscious."
"About what?"
"Everything. Everyone. Jessica, Elias...something about machines...a war... You have a pretty active imagination," she teased. "Maybe it was the morphine."
"But it was real," he argued. "I felt it. I was out at this cabin tracking your cold case, and I felt you beside me, Joss. I heard you talking to me."
"I was. I never left your side."
"But we talked. I remembered that one stake-out and me asking what you would do if you retired. Remember?" Reese asked.
"I do," Joss nodded. "I said I would lay on a beach. You wanted to get a cabin in the mountains."
"You asked me what made me want to save everyone else but myself."
"Jessica. You love her. And you were eaten up with guilt over not being there to help her. I remember," she said softly. Reese reached out and took Joss' hand. Curling his fingers, he held her tight. "But you're here now."
"I am," he confirmed. "I never had the chance to tell you how I feel about you and what is in my heart," he said as his voice cracked with tears he fought to hold back.
"John -" Joss began, but John put his finger over her lips to stop the words.
"Hear me out, Joss. I got the second chance that I never thought I would, and I'm not going to pass it up." His blue eyes met and held hers. "I love you. I have loved you from the moment I laid eyes on you in the precinct that fateful night when I wanted to end it all."
"John," Joss' voice trembled from emotion. Her hands held his tightly.
"I thought I loved Jessica, but it's been you, Joss; all this time. You've been the reason I wanted to live. My reason for wanting to be a better person." He laid her hand on his heart. "You're my heart."
The tears flowed freely from Joss' eyes. Taking his hand, she laid it on her heart. "And you're mine. You taught me not to take life so seriously and how to stop and smell the roses. You taught me how to rely on someone other than myself." She took a deep breath. "You taught me that I'm not alone."
Reese's hand shook as he brushed a lock of hair from her face and tuck it behind her ear. "You're not, Joss. Never. I'll never leave you."
"Is that a promise?" Joss asked.
"From my heart." Reese looked around. "Where is my coat?" he asked.
Joss seemed flummoxed. "In the closet. Why?"
"Can you get it for me?"
"Sure." Joss walked over to the closet and pulled the wool-blend coat from the hanger. Holding it carefully, she brought it over to Reese. She watched as he fumbled in the pockets for something.
"Where -?" Reese asked as he tried the pocket inside the lining. He breathed a sigh of relief as his fingers curled around the object.
"What's wrong?" Joss asked.
"Do you love me, Joss?"
She nodded. "I do."
"Remember that night?" He didn't have to explain further.
"I do."
"I was going to ask you something, but maybe it was too soon. I'm not saying that Simmons ambushing us was fate, but..." He took her left hand in his. He stroked her soft skin with the pad of his thumb. "But now – after all that we've been through – I think now is the perfect moment."
Pulling out the small black box, Reese opened the lid to reveal perfectly cut garnet stone surrounded by small diamonds.
"I love you, Joss. I want to spend the rest of my life with you." He took the ring from the box and slid it on Joss' finger. "What do you say? Will you make my Christmas dream come true? Will you marry me?"
Joss held her hand and looked at the white gold band with the perfect stone. "Yes," she nodded. "Yes." She took his face in her hands and kissed him to seal her vow.
"So, what did she say, Wonderboy?" Lionel asked as he came bounding back into the room. "She turn you down?"
Joss pulled back to look at her partner. "You knew about this?"
"Eh. He may have mentioned it. Shaw helped him pick out the ring," he pointed to the petite woman who followed behind him. "And Glasses pointed him to the jeweler's." Finch walked in and gave a small wave.
"You guys had this planned."
"Not exactly like this," Lionel replied. "it was supposed to be over dinner and candlelight, but...that didn't happen." He shrugged. "Still, Tall, dark, and dangerous managed to wake up just in time."
"Yeah," Shaw agreed.
"What's better than a proposal on Christmas Eve?" Finch wondered.
"A wedding on Christmas Day," Root answered.
Reese looked at the woman he loved. "What do you say, Joss? Will you let me make your dreams come true?" He brushed the tears from her cheeks.
She nodded. "Only if you let me make yours come true, too."
Reese pulled her head down so he could kiss her.
"I think that's our cue, fellas," Shaw said and began to usher the team from the room. "I'll be back later, Joss. And you get some rest," she told Reese. "Doctor's orders." She threw a wink at the lovers, then closed the door behind her.
"Wait here." Joss stood up from the bed and walked over to where the little tree stood. Pushing the button, the tiny lights came on, went out for a second, then started blinking; she opened the drapes before walking over to turn off the overhead lights.
"It's snowing," she whispered as she crawled into bed with Reese. His arm went around her to pull her close to his side.
With her head resting on his chest, Joss listened to every heartbeat she would never take for granted again. Closing her eyes, she felt John's hand stroke her hair.
"Joss?"
"Yes?" she whispered, afraid to break the spell.
Reese lifted his head and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "Thank you for being the answer to my prayers."
Joss pushed herself up to kiss his lips, then snuggled back down into his arms.
"Thank you for praying."
The End.
To all of the fanfic readers: Thank you for a wonderful year. Many blessings to you and yours in the holiday season. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.