I
Ben ran through the lily field below the academy with Nana-quaye, trying to keep up with her. She faster than him, more agile than him...he saw the way his uncle doted on her. His uncle didn't treat his own nephew with such clear preference. Ben could feel the strenghth of the force in her from just merely standing close, let alone touching. He loved her and envied her just the same. His rage grew fiercely inside of him. He could feel the power of his negative emotions crawling forward from deep within the recesses of his confused mind. He'd already been training since he was ten, but now at sixteen the tides were turning. He could feel the dark beginning to sway his actions. He'd begun to have feverish dreams filled with images of himself clad in uniform black, the red glow of a lightsaber cutting through his enemies.
Enemies? What enemies? Unless the other apprentices who treated him with polite contempt were his enemies. They knew he was the master's nephew and used it as an excuse to stay away. He knew it was because he was stronger and eccentric. He could hardly stand them. All of them.
All of them except Nana. She'd been a beacon of shining seductive light. She didn't make him feel awkward and unwanted. It was clear she was born to become a Jedi. Her control over her power was perfect in a way he hadn't quite learned to achieve and it made him sick with envy. And with lust for the dark side more than he could bring himself to admit. She threw herself on top of him, knocking him into the sweet grass below. He gazed into her violet eyes. "How childish of you Nana..." He scolded playfully, running his fingertips down the side of her plump cheek. She grinned and leaned closer. "It was the only way to get your attention. You've been brooding alot lately." She pretended to be him, poking out her lip comically while crossing her arms.
He smiled. "Why do you need my attention? You have my uncle's undivided attention."
Her smile fell. He knew it would. "You seek to hurt me as much as you can these days, Ben." She began to pull away from him and he grasped her upper arms, keeping her in her spot. "Forgive me. I'm a little tense. Tomorrow Master will be testing us. I can't relax."
She frowned, the corner of her dark little mouth curving downward in genuine concern. "Ben, I tell you nearly everyday how strong you are. Besides, I can't have a weak, ineffectual husband one day..." She teased kissing his cheek. "We'll have to protect each other someday. And then our future child. What will we name him?"
He shrugged. "I don't know...why should we plan that far into the future?" He asked grumpily. He enjoyed the look of indignation on her face. "How about...Luke?" She asked with a grin and he whipped his head back in her direction. "No!" He bellowed, causing her to jump in shock. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scream..." He assured her stroking her jaw. He knew his touch calmed her. He was one of only two people she let get close enough to touch her. "I always liked the name Terry." He supplied after thinking bout it.
She smiled in confusion. "Terry? I guess Terry Quaye could do." He laughed. "Quaye? It would be Terry Solo. Quaye isn't even your surname! You don't have a surname!"
She leaned forward again, this time her eyes filled with yearning. "I don't have a surname...yet. You'll be able to change that in few years." Her lips met his and Ben was grateful. Grateful that for a few seconds his heart wouldn't be consumed by his less healthy emotions. He rolled on top of her, tiny blades of grass sprinkling their faces.
She pulled his hair from his ponytail and ran her fingers through it. "I love your hair. No matter how dirty you looked when we were growing up, your hair was always pretty and shiny." She sighed. "Hey!" he barked, pretending to be offended. "Don't ever cut it Ben."
He bit his lower lip. "Is it what you like best about me?" He asked, a hint of disappointment in his tone. She slapped his cheek and laughed. "Of course not, you big baby. I love all of you...in fact..." She trailed off, hesitating.
"I'm in love with you Ben Solo. I know we're still young and nowhere close to being finished with our training. I don't need to see all of the Universe yet to know that I'm in love you." Her sincerity rang true within the softness of her voice. Her big eyes were trained on him, filled with trust. Ben couldn't even trust himself anymore and here she was with enough of it for both of them in her eyes.
"Nana, I don't know what to..." He stammered, unsure of telling her he was indeed in love with her as well. She hushed him. "Don't feel the need to say anything. I just wanted you to know. You know...officially." She answered amiably as always, which was why the other apprentices liked her. She was always playful yet bittersweet with her observations, always willing to help the others. He walked her to her side of the dormitory and pulled her behind the door's pillar, sneaking one last kiss.