Title: A Gift For My Valentine. Cheesy, I know.
Author: Yours truly, ohxasphyxiationx.
Pairing: CidxVincent, aka Valenwind! I luvz it.
Warnings: Yaoi, some slight non-graphic references to the boisecks, language, uber fluff cuz that's the way Yoshimara likes it. And just for Cid being himself.
Disclaimer: The characters of Final Fantasy VII do not belong to me. They belong to Square Enix and all respective owners. I make no profit in the making of this story. I do not have permission to use these characters.

Author's Note: A birthdayfic for the lovely and talented Yoshimara! I hope this is what you wanted and I hope you have a wonderful and special 21st birthday! Enjoy the Valenwind!

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Cid sat in the 7th Heaven, business slow since it was just past noon. He was surrounded by the strange, eclectic group of people he called his friends. Tifa stood behind the bar, drying glasses. Cloud stood next to her, putting them onto the shelves of the bar. Yuffie sat on a barstool, and was practically sniffing the air for the smell of materia. Barret was shining his gun/arm and Reno was… Well, Reno wasn't really one of Cid's friends which meant he wasn't necessarily supposed to be here, but Reno had wanted some ale and was there nonetheless.

Cid opened his beer, took a large swig, and found that the eyes of his friends and that one acquaintance were on him. Cid sighed, placing his precious bottle of beer onto the bar, before speaking.

"I need help," Cid admitted. Expectant eyes looked at him, waiting for more. "I don't know what in Shiva's name ta buy Vin for his birthday."

A collective "ohhh" later, and Cid could practically see and hear the wheels turning in each other their heads.

Tifa was the first to come up with an idea. Cid knew this because she squeed at a pitch high enough to drive a dog insane, and began to jump up and down while clapping, grinning all the while.

Yuffie was next. Cid could practically see a material lightbulb glowing above her head. She pumped her firsts into the air before letting them fall to rest on her hips.

Barett followed quickly, his only indicator a satisfied smile. Reno followed suit, his serious, thoughtful expression replaced by a smug smirk, that he immediately followed by chugging his drink before slamming his glass down onto the bar.

Cloud was last, and Cid could think of two reasons why. The first? Cloud had been too busy watching Tifa's goods bounce up and down to actually think of anything else. That, and he was just slow. Ask Tifa and she's end up telling you a list of reasons; traumatic experiences, 'blame it on the mako', Jenova was messing with his mind, yadda yadda. Whatever. Cloud was just damn slow.

"I've got it!" Tifa exclaimed gleefully. "Just do something romantic!" Tifa gushed, and Cid could practically see the hearts in her eyes.

"Goddamnit, Tifa!" Cid yelled in frustration. "I came here cuz I need help! Not for you to state the goddamn obvious!"

"Well," Tifa said, not in the least affected by Cid's words, "A nice romantic dinner at home or maybe you can go to a nice restaurant! Oh! You can buy him a birthday cake!"

Cid took out a cigarette and lit it, taking a long drag, running his fingers through his hair in frustration.

"Look, Tif'," Cid began, trying to keep calm. "'Less it's on a grill, I can't cook it. And ya gotta remember what happened the last time I took Vin to one of those fancy pantsy restaurants! Ended up doing the damn dishes and scarin' all the folks away! But I did get him a cake!"

Cid reached down into the bag he had left on the floor, and pulled out a box of cake mix that was tied up very nicely with a bow.

"It's a do it yerself birthday cake. He'll have a good time with it."

Tifa looked at Cid in shock. Her jaw nearly dropped to the floor.

"Uhh, Cid," Cloud's voice was cautious. "Don't you think you should make the cake for Vincent?"

"Who do I look like? Betty Crocker?" I don't know how to make no damn cakes! Vin does the cooking and shit! Good at bakin', too. Who knew, huh? Figured he'd enjoy making it himself."

"Cid," Tifa said, as though she was about to break the news to him that Santa Claus didn't exist. "You have to spoil a person on their birthday. They can't lift a finger to do anything! Look, I'll give you the number to a great Italian restaurant you can order in from. Just make the house look nice. Lots of candles and flowers, and your best china. And I'll order the cake! All you have to do is give me the money, and I'll take care of the rest."

"How much ya need?" Cid asked, pulling out his wallet.

"Three… thousand gil?" Tifa said nervously.

One… tw-

"Three-thousand gil! Since when does a birthday cake cost three-thousand fucking gil?"

"It's a nice bakery," Cloud attempted, trying to lessen a stingy Cid's rage and save Tifa from his wrath. "It'll make Vincent happy."

That was all it took to reduce Cid's ranting to quiet grumbling, before he hesitantly forked the money over.

"Buy him some materia!" Yuffie exclaimed abruptly, catching the attention of everyone in the room, and probably everyone in all of Midgar, as well. "I won't give you any of mine, but the material shop nearby sells some good ones. Buy some mastered cure materia! One of you is bound to need it after… you know!"

The slight ninja jumped onto the floor, turned, jutted her butt out as far as her rather small derriere would go, and began to wiggle her hips suggestively.

Cid blushed a vibrant shade of red. Tifa's eyes widened in shock. Cloud, the deprived sick bastard that he was stood gaping at Yuffie's booty dance. Barett cleared his throat with a loud 'ahem'. Reno, drunk out of his mind, howled with laughter before falling off of his seat and landing on his ass.

"Yuffie!" Tifa scolded, the mother-hen part of her mind in a panic. "Enough."

"Whatever," Yuffie stopped dancing and shrugged. "I don't care what Vinny does to you, old man!"

Cid flew up off of his stool, sending it backwards onto the floor.

"What makes you think Vin tops?" Cid's face was a brilliant red, this time caused by anger. "I ain't no chick! I top! I top almost all the time!"

The entire bar fell silent. Everyone stared at Cid.

"What the hell y'all lookin' at?" Cid raised his voice even higher. "I came here for fucking help. Either ya help me, or I'm leavin'."

He pointed one dirty finger at the still-grinning ninja.

"And Shiva have mercy, I'm not afraid to hit girls!"

Yuffie backed into a corner of the bar in fear. The other bargoers returned to their drinks.

"Get him a gun," Barret spoke for the first time since Cid had arrived, still cleaning his gun/arm. "He likes guns."

Cid thought it over. It made sense.

"I don't know anythin' 'bout guns!"

"Just get any one. He won't care," Barret replied, turning his attention back towards cleaning the gun on his right arm.

An extremely intoxicated Reno sat at the bar, raising his hand like a kindergartener, waving it around and giggling madly.

"Yes, Reno?" Tifa said, sounding very much like a school teacher.

"I know the perfect gift, yo!" Reno began, and Cid wasn't quite sure if he wanted to hear what the redhead had to say. He still hadn't quite figured out why he was here. "But something kinky, like a whip or a collar. Oh, oh! A ball gag and some lingerie! Fuzzy handcuffs!"

Everyone stared at Reno this time. Reno wasn't phased and instead smiled happily.

"What? So he can use it, yo!"

A collective groan from the group voiced exactly how Cid felt. Cid stood up, lit himself another cigarette and said his goodbyes.

On the way home he stopped at the store and bought some candles and a tablecloth. He took Yuffie's advice and figured some mastered cure materia was bound to come in handy sometime. He went into the gun shop and bought Vincent some fancy gun that cost a shitload of gil. He even listened to Reno and went into a shop and bought some fuzzy handcuffs and a whip- more for his gain than Vincent's.

He figured one of them had to be right, even though Tifa was a chick, Yuffie was a raging kleptomaniac, Cloud was slow as hell, Barret was more like Cid, and Reno was a no-good Turk.

When he arrived home, he cleaned up the place, put on a nice shirt and tie, and called the Italian restaurant. He set the table up as elegantly as he could, wrapped up all of the gifts, and answered the door when the cake was delivered, immediately putting it in the fridge. When the food arrived, he set it up nicely on their best China and let them on the stove so they wouldn't get cold. After all his hard work, he had himself a long smoke outside before Vincent got their, because if Vincent caught him smoking indoors, at their romantic dinner, he'd sulk throughout the evening, Cid was certain.

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Vincent arrived home an hour later, looking exhausted and downright grumpy. He took of his cape at the door, took the metal coverings off of his boots, and found that the house was extremely quiet.

"Cid?" Vincent's voice carried through the quiet room.

"Happy birthday, Vin!" Cid walked in holding some flowers. He handed them to Vincent, who stared at them for a moment in shock, before blushing, just slightly. "I've got dinner."

Cid grabbed Vincent by the hand and walked him into the dining room. The lights were dim, the candles were lit, and the table was set nicely. They sat across from each other, making small talk. The dinner went without a hitch, and Cid knew he'd have to remember to thank Tifa for her help. The only problem Cid was having was that the candles looked like one huge cigarette. Vincent seemed thoroughly impressed.

Cid excused himself, went into the kitchen, and took the cake out of the fridge. He brought it back into the dining room and passed it to Vincent, who looked at it questioningly.

"For you," Cid stated, as though it wasn't obvious.

Vincent used the sharp ends of his gauntlet to cut the strings that were tied around the box. Lifting the lid of the box, he looked down at the cake and scowled.

"Clever, Cid," Vincent said in an annoyed tone. "Did you come up with this yourself?"

Cid was temporarily stunned, but quickly came behind Vincent to see what exactly was wrong with the cake he had paid three-thousand gil for.

"Happy… Valentine's day?" Cid's jaw nearly dropped to the floor. "What the- it ain't supposed to say that Vin, I swear!"

Vincent stared at Cid in disbelief, but upon finding the panicked look on Cid's face granted him a small smile. Cid was finally able to breath again after that.

After dinner, Vincent opened his gifts. He appreciated the mastered cure materia, and promised he would use it. He test fired his new gun by shooting through the two tall candles on the table and gave Cid a heart attack. Vincent thanked Cid for everything with a chaste kiss of gratitude before heading up the stairs to get ready for bed.

Overall, in Cid's opinion everything had gone swimmingly. At least, until he heard Vincent calling him from upstairs.

"Cid, is this another gift for me?"

Cid ran up the stairs to find Vincent holding the bag contained the whip and handcuffs. His heart fell down and hit the floor.

Before Cid could even tell Vincent that it wasn't his gift, the gunman had already opened it, and a pair of fuzzy zebra-print handcuffs was dangling from his fingers.

"Cid, what is this?"

Cid improvised. He smiled seductively and held his hands out.

"Happy birthday, Vin."

This one gift made Vincent smiled the most. He wasted no time in cuffing Cid's hands together.

Come morning, Cid had to pee something fierce, but could not due to his hands being cuffed to the headboard and one ex-turk who was ready for round two.

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I don't know why this came out this way.

I know it's definitely not my best work- I hope I didn't disappoint you, Yoshi!

Why did I make Cloudy straight in this one? I don't know. For continuity's sake, mostly.

I hope you like it! Reviews are love!