Summary: And, though you can't say it without some irony, it's the biggest shock of your life when she walks through the door. Alice's story during New Moon. Lots of Alice/Jasper love.
A/N: Alice and Jasper are two of my favorite characters and Alice/Jasper is definitely my favorite couple. In the whole book. I love them so much, and I was always intrigued by exactly what Alice must have been going through during the end of New Moon. There's lots of turmoil for her, in several different forms. Well, here it is.
Disclaimer: Nothing is mine. Sigh. (wishes she had a Jasper of her own)
She fell. You try to convince yourself that she fell. You're pleading with yourself to believe that she fell. But you saw her springboard off the cliff. You know she jumped.
At the point, you've completely finished preparing for your trip. You think maybe you can at least be there for Charlie, because he likes you and he needs someone right now. Besides, you can't just sit around and not go. You can't just do nothing. Jasper is telling you not to go. Begging you to stay. He's saying you're breaking your promise to Edward. Asking you to please, please stay. You shake your head, hurting inside that you're hurting him, but you have to go. He's got one of his hands in yours, and the other on your elbow. You feel him trying to slow your adrenaline, clearly thinking if you slow down and think, you'll be reasonable. You reach for him with your free hand and hold his face with it. You stroke his cheekbone with your thumb and tell him you're sorry. He holds your gaze for a long moment, then turns his head and kisses your palm. You know that means he's letting you go. You reach for each other at the exact same moment. One last, lingering kiss and you're gone.
You're in Forks within an hour. You see that Charlie is at the hospital...one of his friends just died. You sit in his living room for hours, searching; desperate for a sight of Bella somewhere other than the bottom of the ocean. For hours you search. For hours you see nothing. You have to face it eventually. She's gone.
And, though you can't say it without some irony, it's the biggest shock of your life when she walks through the door.
--
She explains it all, and she's far too happy to see you. You hoped she'd be better, so it troubles you to know exactly how bad she's been. Charlie tells you about the early days, and you feel a sort of pain knowing what she's been through.
The wolf-boy she's turned to shows up and you have to make yourself scarce. You try not to listen from outside, but you catch more of their conversation than you intended. He's annoying. Very annoying, and you kind of feel like ripping his throat out. Obviously, that would not make Bella happy, so you turn up your nose at his stench and try to ignore his snide and crude comments.
It's then you see it. You see him. Doing the unthinkable. For the first time in longer than you can recall, you feel weak — almost faint. You run into the house. When Bella asks you what's wrong, all you can choke out is his name.
Of course, Bella really does faint, and Wolf-Boy makes the lovely transition from annoying to downright murder-worthy. You ignore him. There are more important things happening than him. Bella comes to and you call home to figure out what the hell is going on. Rosalie tells you horrible things and you connect the dots firmly in your head. You know, suddenly, Edward's reasoning behind everything, and exactly what you cannot do to save him.
You realize, in the instant you slam the phone shut on Rosalie's shocked voice, what must be done.
Bella is more than eager to agree to your horrible, dangerous plan and the two of you are on your way in minutes. Wolf-Boy puts up a fight, making Bella even more upset than she already is, but you have no time to worry about him. Your one thought it to get on a plane. Now.
--
You call Jasper while the plane is still making it's ascent. Brokenly, you explain everything to him. He asks you questions, his voice rough with worry, about Edward and what exactly he's planning to do. While you answer, he begins to make his own plans. He wants to follow you. Your throat seizes up at the thought of him in Volterra — battling hopelessly against the Volturi. You beg him to stay where he is. He says Emmett wants to go too; tells you he and Rosalie already left. You persuade him to bring them home, reminding him of Edward and what he might do. Bella is your only chance, and Jasper knows that as well as you do. He knows your mission is very likely to fail.
Jasper's voice shifts abruptly from rough worry to broken panic as he pleads with you to come home safely to him, softly reminding you that you, too, are vulnerable to the Volturi, his voice shuddering as he points out that you could be considered an accomplice to Edward's desperate betrayal. You pretend to laugh, blessing, for once, the distance between you that makes him unable to feel your true emotions. His almost-silent "Please" effectively shatters your heart and you promise that you'll get out and come back to him. Once more, you tell him not to follow. Once more, you promise to get out. Once more, you tell him that you love him.
When he says it back to you, you can hear his world hang in the balance.
--
Getting to Italy is one thing, making it into Volterra on time is quite another. You snitch a Porsche, which drives beautifully you notice despite the stress you're under, and bribe your way into the city. Bella races off alone and you skulk through the shade, trying to get to Edward after Bella, but in enough time to stand with them. The Volturi have their guard stationed everywhere.
When you finally make it to them, they're a bit surrounded. Edward is furious and you delicately remind them all that there are humans watching. Small humans, and their parents. They suggest you all move to a different location, and that's when Jane shows up. Well, you have no choice now.
Inside the Volturi's lair, your biggest fear is that Edward or Bella will get you all killed. Both are acting so protective of each other, you swear Caius is going to just crack soon. You have to physically restrain Bella as Edward writhes on the floor from Jane's torture, which he's receiving because he tried to protect Bella from the same fate. But you can't blame either of them. If Jasper were here... You're just glad he's not. And you pray you can keep your promise to him and see him again. When Edward is, yet again, stubborn and defensive about changing Bella, you step up and show Aro exactly what you once saw, and what you believe should be the future once more. You wish you didn't have to see the Volturi's victims as you leave — and you wish even more that Bella didn't — but you're too relieved to be leaving to mind too much. Bella's in hysterics, but all you can think is that you did it. You've kept your promise to Jasper and — you feel an ironic sense of bliss while still surrounded by danger — you'll see him soon.
You steal another car, and your bliss turns giddy when Edward promises to buy you a Porsche for Christmas. It feels like no time until you're on the second plane from Rome to Atlanta, and once again you're on the phone with Jasper before the plane is completely in the air. The first thing you say to him is that everyone is safe, and well, and headed home. You hear him calling the news to the rest of your family, and the happy cheers and relieved sighs from the small crowd around him before the noise level drops intensely and you know he's sought out a more private place to talk. You murmur quietly to him, eager for privacy also, and knowing that though Bella and Edward are the only ones who might hear you, neither are listening. He showers you with loving attention, scarred slightly by the lingering pain and anxiety still left in his voice. He doesn't often express his love for you out loud like this, because he doesn't need to, but you know he needs to now. Needs to affirm his unending love for you, since his whole life has been once again thrown into perspective by this sudden danger. You know because you feel it too, and as soon as he pauses for a millisecond, you're showering him as well.
Eventually, a flight attendant comes to order you politely to hang up. The plane is about to descend. You only agree because you know Jasper will be waiting for you when you land, and you feel like the plane should be diving faster towards the ground as it makes its decent. Finally, you are allowed to get off the plane. You're vaguely aware of Bella and Edward walking close to you, but your attention is not focused on them.
As soon as you see him, you run to his side. Neither of you are fond of public displays of affection. Physical love has always been too private, too intimate, too intense, for you to share with others. Besides, you don't think you could quite manage it yet. Ever since you left him, you've felt hollow. He's your other half — more than your half, he's your everything — and being away from him is almost too much to bear. You know he's felt the same, and you stare at each other, drinking each other in, absorbing one another, until you're once again whole. You don't look away from his face for a moment as Esme hugs you, or as you walk out of the airport, or as you answer all of Carlisle and Esme's questions while Carlisle drives you home. Really home. To your home in Forks. Jasper is silent, and his gaze never leaves you either.
The moment you arrive at the house, Jasper takes your hand and draws you into your room. It's then, finally whole and perfect, that you collide. Jasper's arms come around you with almost crushing force, even for you, and your hands are tangled in his hair as your feet are lifted off the ground and you rain kisses down on his face. Your searching lips meet his, and you're both so entangled in one another it's like you're one person. Total, and complete.
You wind up lying contentedly on the bed. You're tucked into the curve of his body, which is wrapped around you in a protective and loving position. Sometimes you kiss his chest and often you feel his own kisses in your hair.
You don't even care that you are less than forty eight hours escaped from death, and you don't give a thought to anything outside the small realm of the tangled bodies of you and your love. All you know, all you care, is that you're home, and you're whole, and you are exactly where you're happiest: with your Jasper, who is your home.