I was standing in the kitchen beside the sink, staring straight ahead at the wall. It was a rainy and stormy night. I wasn't aware of the exact time- I had been standing in this exact position for what seemed to be an impossibly long time. I couldn't be sure, though, because only minutes could have passed by, although it seemed like so much longer.
It was a Friday, and I wasn't really looking forward to the weekend. I wasn't looking forward to school Monday, either, but I just wanted to be busy and out of the house. Almost two week had gone by since Robbie, my mom and Dad's son and Ashley and my baby brother, was born. These two weeks have been one of the most noisiest, craziest weeks of my life. Robbie cries almost constantly, and as soon as John hears him crying, he starts crying, too. Although, surprisingly, Robbie wasn't crying right now.
The house was completely silent. It was a dead silence, and the only noises that were audible were those of the storm, the rain, and the lightly dripping sink. I was exhausted and felt like I was in a daze. "What's it like?," Ricky suddenly asked, pulling me out of my state of silence.
"What?" I asked him, confused. We had been talking, but I couldn't remember what we were talking about. I was out of it.
"I was just wondering what is it like for you? Having two babies in the house? I know it must be really hard listening to all this crying. I know it's hard for me being over here, and I don't have to listen to it all day like you do. You must be going crazy."
"Yeah. Just about," I muttered, sounding like I was in a trance. I knew that when I spoke it was evident of how exhausted I was and Ricky seemed to notice. I still stared at the wall. Ricky was standing only a few feet away from me. John was already asleep in his room. Normally Ricky probably would've left by now, but I guess he decided to stay out of curiosity because of how weird I was acting. But he knew why I was acting this way.
I didn't even know it was possible before, but I was so stressed even more so than when I had John. So much was changing. Ben has been acting really strange lately. We were going to go out tonight, but he stopped me at school and said, "You've been really tired lately. We can hang out later. You should rest this weekend." He had a really nervous look on his face when he had said that. I had a feeling that was just an excuse because he was with someone else. I didn't know why, but I just had the weirdest feeling that he was cheating on me. But I couldn't be too sure. As far as I'm concerned, I might as well be crazy.
My thoughts were interrupted as I heard Robbie crying his head off, and only a few seconds after, John cried along with him. I shut my eyes as tired and frustrated tears were welling up, and I wiped them away as I finally opened my eyes. The silence was now replaced with the most piercing, sharp, and incredibly loud sound. It got really depressing listening to crying all day.
I finally looked at Ricky, and I found that he was staring at me sympathetically and I knew that he noticed I was crying. I stood perfectly still, locked in Ricky's eyes and I kept telling myself to look away, but I just couldn't. I stared fixedly into his eyes and he kept his stare focused with mine. "I'm sorry," he said quietly, to where I could barely hear him over this noise.
He moved closer to me, just inches away. I looked away now, and he did something that surprised me. He ran his hand slowly through my hair, and I looked back up at him right as he had brushed my bangs back. I didn't know what to say or even think. I actually felt like Ricky and I were connected, and not even words could describe it, but I knew he felt it too by the way he was looking at me. But then again, I could still be crazy.
I turned around as I saw my dad walking past the living room. He walked into the kitchen and stared at Ricky and I. And I didn't even notice it before, but Ricky had his hand on my arm. I hate to admit it, but I liked the feeling of his hand on my arm. It comforted me. He quickly pulled it away, and we both looked embarrassed.
My dad looked like he was about to say something about it, but he seemed to let it go. "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry, Robbie's been crying all day."
"Yep. He has," I muttered. "And he hardly ever stops. If we get lucky and he does stop crying, it's only for a few minutes. Something must be wrong with him," I said in a low, annoyed tone. I rubbed my eyes as I felt even more sleep-deprived from talking. It was taking a lot of energy.
"No, he's just one of those babies that cries a lot. I'm sorry, Ames," he said sympathetically. Robbie started crying even harder, and my dad gestured towards the bedroom. "I should go see if everything's okay," he said awkwardly. I crossed my arms across my chest and nodded. When he left the room, I looked back at Ricky.
"I wish I could help," Ricky said. "It must be terrible listening to that all day." I just stared at him, with agreement in my eyes. He looked nervous about something and then he hesitated and asked, "Do you want to spend the night with me?"