Hey guys! Yes, I'm fully aware that I haven't updated this in forever. College will do that to you, but hey, I'm all grown up and graduated now! Well, graduated anyway...

Cutting to the chase, I'm someone who when I look back on something I've previously done, I cringe slightly. That, unfortunately includes this story. Even glancing at it reminds me of how out of character I wrote everyone. That being said, I've decided to rewrite it. No worries, I WILL FINISH THIS STORY...eventually. I'll try to be regular with my updates, but I think we all know how that worked out at this point. Thanks to everyone who stuck around forever waiting for me to update, and for those of you who are new readers to the story, enjoy!

Disclaimer: If I owned Teen Titans, we'd all be screwed...

Beast Boy sighed as he stared out into the sea from the clump of rocks he called his own on the shoreline. The shadow of a huge T was cast over him and out over the water as the sun continued to set.

He couldn't help but reminisce over the past few years with the team as he tried to skip stones across the body of water. The fights, the friends, the relationships…well, attempted relationships. No one besides himself knew of the small crush he had on the half-demon before he had met the geomancer. It wasn't until he looked back at his obsession in getting her to laugh at his jokes that he began to realize it. Of course, as soon as the fun-loving blonde came waltzing into his life, any thought of his so-called crush completely disappeared.

The more time he spent with Terra, the more fun they seemed to have. They connected on a level that none of the others, not even he, understood. It was easy talking to her, almost as easy as it was for him to talk with Cyborg. Their blossoming relationship, or whatever it was, appeared to take no effort from him.

Looking back, that was probably the first sign.

When she left, screaming betrayal, he was hurt pretty bad. It probably would have been much worse if he had known her longer. It had taken a while for him to get over it, but the thing with being a superhero was that personal matters were typically pushed to the side with minimal exertion. Going a few rounds with Cinderblock or Overload will do that. Not to mention the multiple concussions he would sustain going hand-to-hand with Robin during training. After a while, he had almost completely forgotten her existence.

Of course, she had to come back.

When she did, the feeling that washed over him could be most easily described jumping into a pool on a hot summer day: revitalizing, refreshing, and making one aware of even the smallest sensations. He still remembered the feeling of his heart pounding against his chest as he rushed to meet her, attempting to push Starfire out of his way as he did so.

For possibly the first time since they group had formed the Teen Titans, Beast Boy felt everything click. Sure, there was a small incident between Terra and Raven, but it was remedied fairly quickly and everything looked as if it was a well-oiled machine. The synergy between the members was overwhelming as they took down their enemies at record speeds.

Nothing could have prepared him for the shock he felt when he saw her and Slade side by side.

If he had been a little wiser, a little more mature, more in control of his emotions, he probably could have chosen something better to say than what he did. To this day, they still echoed about his head, and he would have given anything to take them back.

"Slade was right, you have no friends…"

He shuddered as he recalled the memory. Maybe if he had thought out his response a little more, she would still be here. He knew better than anyone, however, that he couldn't change the past. He didn't know how many days he spent in her room, curled up beside that jewelry box in his dog form. What he did remember was the one person he didn't expect to come try to help him ended up being the one who lifted him out of his slump.

Robin.

He didn't use comforting words, nor did he say much of anything, just two words.

"Let's spar."

Sparring wasn't something Beast Boy particularly enjoyed, but even in his depressed state, he knew better than to disobey his leader. He trudged to the gym, walking over to the mat opposite of Robin. He already knew the rules, the most prominent of which was not using his powers. After half a minute of circling each other a primal yell tore through the gym. Beast Boy realized with surprise that the sound came from his own mouth, even more so that he was now rushing Robin, one of his more foolish moves. However, the greatest shock came when his fist connected solidly with Robin's jaw, a loud smack reverberating through the arena.

Looking back, he realized that even his sloppiest punches and kicks managed to make contact with his opponent, while Robin had to have pulled each of his strikes, which weren't that many.

After several minutes, he slumped to the ground, sitting on his heels as his head pitched forward, completely exhausted. He felt the tears start to fall and the sobs wrack his body. This continued to happen when he felt a presence in front of him. He looked up to see Robin's mask meet his gaze as he sat across from him. The intensity with which he stared caused Beast Boy to easily imagine his eyes behind the mask. Then Robin opened his mouth and spoke two words that fell like hammer blows to his ears.

"I know."

Beast Boy had always considered the Boy Wonder his leader, even through the distrust that was sewn with the whole Red X fiasco, and he always would. In that one moment, though, he became something more than the infallible Robin. He became human. He became a brother. The passion and hurt with which he said it left no doubt in Beast Boy's mind, he really did know what he was going through.

He didn't know what persuaded him to give her a second chance when she came back. Maybe it was because they did the same when Robin turned against them, and it had turned out that there was a reasonable explanation for his behavior. Nevertheless, that didn't seem to be the case with Terra, especially as she crushed his hand under her foot, forcing him into the abyss below him

"I hope you weren't expecting a goodbye kiss…"

It was then he realized that she had gone off the deep end and that he had to do anything and everything possible to stop her. He was no killer though, and maybe he was crazy, but he could still see that shy, insecure girl that first came to the Titans. He never expected to be able to talk her down, but then again, having to face the wrath of his friends should he have been killed may have been something she wanted to avoid. He still couldn't forget the look on the enraged empath's face as her words echoed through the cavern as Terra prepared to strike him.

"It'll be the last thing you ever do…"

In that instant, he felt the small crush he had harbored for her such a long time ago rekindle within him. Figures it would be as he stared Death in the eye, but hey, better late than never. Of course, he would never admit it to Raven, as he came to the conclusion he would not die that day. Even as he hugged Terra goodbye and continued to look for a cure to her condition, he prayed that his attraction to the half-demon would eventually go away. Him and the empath? It would never happen. They were too different. At least, that's what he thought at first. Sure, they had shared a moment in her mind before they were rudely interrupted by Cyborg, but there was no way those feelings that were beyond friendship would ever be reciprocated. It would take a miracle to convince him that maybe, just maybe, it was possible.

The Malchior Incident, as he had dubbed it, may not have been a miracle, but it had made an impact on him anyway. He couldn't help the slight surge of jealousy that ran through him at the thought of her "boyfriend," or whatever he was. When all was said and done, when Malchior revealed his true intentions, when he was finally defeated, Beast Boy decided there was nothing better to do than to be there for Raven. He remembered the conversation by heart.

"Raven? It's me. Look, I'm sorry…"

"For what? You're not the one who-"

"No…I'm sorry that…he broke your heart."

"I know it was all a lie, but he was the only person who ever made me feel like I wasn't…creepy…and don't try to tell me I'm not."

"Okay, fine, you're way creepy. But that doesn't mean you have to stay locked in your room…you think you're alone Raven…but you're not."

He distinctly remembered the door opening, her simply standing just inside her room. Within the blink of an eye, she closed the gap between them, sighing as she did so. His entire body seized as he felt her arms wrap around him. It took a second to compute that she was hugging him; after all, Raven didn't do hugs. When his brain finally caught up with what was going on, he gripped her shoulders, removing himself from her gently. As much as he wanted to hug her in return, he knew that she would more than likely demand recompense for the action if she wasn't in the right state of mind when he did so. He looked right in her eyes, trying to read her, search for any clue that this was still the Raven that was his friend, the Raven that he cared for.

It was then that he realized that Cyborg had impeccable timing when it came to ruining moments.

He felt a foul odor hit his nostrils less than a second later with an ambitious shout following it up.

"Woo! Stankball!"

Of course, he had never anticipated Raven getting involved in the game, and couldn't help but laugh when she through the stankball with deadly accuracy, taking Cyborg off his feet. Reminiscing, he decided that it was all worth it to see that look of devious amusement on her face.

It was less than a couple weeks later when he had to deal with his own demons.

He couldn't have predicted what had happened when he felt those hazardous chemicals drench him in the lab, nor did he ever think that after what he would label the Beast Incident that he would be thanking the physical manifestation of his primal desires. The realization that he had attacked his friends would plague his mind during the night for the next year. The relief in the understanding that this side of him had saved Raven would be his refuge during those times. Sure there was some bad blood between him and Robin for about a week, but in the end, he couldn't blame him for the decisions he made, and Robin made sure that Beast Boy knew that he still trusted him and would be more understanding toward events like these in the future. The most reassurance that he got was in the conversation he had with Raven after the arrest of Adonis. He chuckled to himself as he realized that he was sitting on the very same group of rocks now that he was then.

"So, he was the one who hurt you, right? Not me?"

"He broke into the tower to attack you, and wound up attacking me too."

"Ugh, I can't believe I ate meat…I acted like a jerk. I'm sorry."

"You weren't yourself…"

"Cyborg says the chemicals at the lab messed with my DNA. Unleashed something…primal."

"And he gave you an antidote. You're better now."

"Yeah, but that thing…that beast, it came from inside me, and it's still there. I can feel it."

"Good." He distinctly remembered turning his head in shock as she continued. "If it wasn't for that beast, I might not be here right now. Having that thing inside doesn't make you an animal, knowing when to let it out makes you a man."

"Hmm. Maybe you should call me," he stood up chuckling to himself "Beast Man from now on…"

Raven paused looking up at him with a passive glare

"We're having a moment here, don't ruin it…"

Still, he wasn't one to stop pushing at Raven's buttons.

"Beast…Dude?"

Raven groaned.

They had continued talking the rest of the night about their respective demons, in her case in a literal sense, and about anything else that crossed their minds. He had gotten to know her well that night, but of course there was one secret she failed to reveal.

Her final destiny was to help destroy the Earth. This, coincidently, was the last time his primal urges overwhelmed his humanity.

He was made aware of Raven's time freezing episode and her and Robin's fight against Slade when Robin debriefed them after returning to the tower. His words to her offered no reassurance to combat the end of the world, but he had hoped his presence would be enough to get the point across.

It happened too fast. He should have known something was up when Raven had offered to make them breakfast. He found himself afraid, but not for the end of the world, after all, that was something he had faced for the past several years. Rather, he was scared of what would happen to Raven. It was at that point in time that he finally realized that this attraction he had to her wouldn't go away any time soon. He had nothing to offer her in that time of need, yet he decided to give everything he had, everything being a small copper penny he had found earlier in the day.

Fighting wave upon wave of fire demons had worn on him, but he wouldn't allow her to be taken until the last breath had left his lips. Unfortunately, that decision was not to be made by him. He barely restrained the despair that tugged at him as she offered herself up to Slade. He was affected even more so as she disappeared before his very eyes, dropping the penny he had given her earlier as she did so.

Nothing could have prepared him for the idea that Raven was still alive, and yet even as he faced this stunning revelation, he knew he wouldn't be the one to save her. A pang of jealousy ran through him as Robin volunteered for the journey, which was only expelled when he told himself that this was something only Robin could do.

The shadow he fought of himself told him otherwise.

Finally managing to expel her father in a flash of bright light, it surprised him slightly that the thing that stuck to his mind the most was the conversation that followed.

"Raven, that was-"

"Unbelievable."

"No, it wasn't"

It was rare when Raven decided to smile; Beast Boy took it in for as long as he could.

"Somebody believed."

It was ESPECIALLY rare for her to hug someone. Throwing herself at Robin, one might have thought it was the end of the world, which, essentially, it had been.

"Welcome back." Robin reciprocated, lightly laying his hand across her back. Beast Boy's jealousy flared up once again, except this time, it wouldn't be ignored.

"Okay, you're freaking me out here! The white robe and smile are weird enough, but…hugs? Are you still…you?"

"Blue is still my favorite color, and don't get used to this smile, 'cause you're still not funny…"

"Huh?" Beast Boy couldn't help himself, flinging his arms around her body and holding her tightly. "Raven!"

He didn't expect what happened next.

"Quit it."

He drew back, taking her in. Her face was the epitome of stoicism, giving away nothing. However, the biggest change was the smile that had been on her face a moment ago was gone without a trace.

It was in that instant that it hit him. There was absolutely no chance of this being reciprocated. So he smothered the feeling and moved on, knowing at the very least, they would be friends. He did complain to himself for the next two weeks about Robin and Raven's "stupid mind thingy," and would bang his head against the nearest wall when he thought of all he had failed to do for her. Cyborg nearly caught on to him after he gave himself a concussion after one particularly lucid memory.

The next year was pretty rough, banding back together with his surrogate family to fight the Brotherhood of Evil, recruiting new Titans, and the like. The time when Raven had to babysit Melvin, Timmy, and Teether crossed his mind, as the first person she called for help on the situation was Robin. Of course, she was unexpectedly greeted by himself as Robin had found himself in the middle of a fight, but the fact that she had desired help from "anyone but Beast Boy" had struck a nerve, even if he hadn't shown it.

Finally, as the Brotherhood and all the affiliated villains were defeated, he would happen to run into Terra's doppelganger by pure chance. In retrospect, it hit him that she was probably freed from her stone form after "the end of the world," but at the time her presence shocked him to the point that he was incapable of logical thought. While not an especially rare moment for him, it still affected him greatly. After spending time with her and being attacked by a Sladebot, he finally came to the conclusion that no matter what she said, this was Terra, however, it wasn't the same Terra that he knew and became friends with. Her last words to him stung quite a bit, repeating themselves over and over again in his mind.

"Things change."

He knew she was ultimately right, and even as he looked back, he came to understand that while Terra had been a great friend, they were simply too alike and immature together to ever have a lasting relationship. Even so, rejection always hurts, and it wasn't until a trip to Tokyo that he was finally able to escape the throb of pain that hit him every now and again. It didn't last for long, though, as Raven's physically hostile behavior toward him replaced the emotional pain with something a little more concrete. He did enjoy all the fangirls that followed him throughout the trip, but if anything, it reminded him of the life and love he couldn't have.

So here he was, sitting on a pile of rocks overlooking the bay as the sun finally set beyond the horizon. It seemed that no matter where he went pain followed him, taking away the people he cared for, the people he loved. He shook his head to himself; he wouldn't allow it to happen anymore. He would train every day, he would give up videogames for the rest of his life if it meant that he didn't have to lose anyone else. Especially not Raven.

He saw a car come over the bridge that was raised across the water. The Titans had installed it soon after they built the tower to allow ease of travel to the mainland by means of the T-car and R-cycle. Right now, though, the singular car traveled toward the huge tower in the middle of the bay, light glowing brightly on top. It could only mean one thing.

"Pizza…" Beast Boy licked his lips; he could already taste the veggie delight landing on his tongue as he took a bite. Quickly, he shifted into a falcon after a brief instant of excruciating pain, then flew to the roof of the tower, smoothly changing back to his human form as he landed and making his way through the roof access and down to their living room.

Meanwhile, the Boy Wonder had been there observing him the entire time from the window overlooking the bay. He looked down at his communicator, raising an eyebrow behind his domino mask, as he looked at the dark figure on the screen.

"Are you sure about this?"

"Positive." The man, as one could tell by his voice, seemed to be more stoic in his demeanor than Raven. The manner in which he gave his answer portrayed his steely resolve.

"I trust you on this."

"I know."

"I'll brief him on the parameters, and then give you an update as soon as a decision is made."

"Understood."

"Robin out."

The figure seemed to move forward, allowing his countenance to bask in the sparse light. His most evident features included a sharp, well-defined jaw, and a cowl which caused his nose to seem like it jutted out slightly and had what seemed to be ears, modeled vaguely after a flying mammal.

"Batman out."