N/A Don't own these characters so don't sue me!
Many Many Many Thanks to DaisyJane for Betaing this story.
This is my take on an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer that is my all time favorite, where Xander is angry at Cordelia. She dumps him after he gives her a necklace. He has Amy cast a love spell on it and it backfires on him. The title of this story is the same as the episode.
Disclaimer—I don't not own the lyrics to "Staying Alive."
Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered
Flash sighed as he watched Fire talk with Batman. He was sitting there sipping his iced mocha. Diana sat down next to him and saw him staring at Fire. Diana suppressed a giggle, Flash looked so cute staring at Beatriz with lovesick eyes.
"What's up, Flash?" Diana asked him knowing what it was. Flash stopped slurping his iced mocha as he stared at Diana.
"Oh nothing Wondy," he sighed again as he sucked up more iced mocha. Diana understood his predicament. She longed for a certain someone who was currently standing across the room from her. A dark brooding pain in the ass.
"Why not just ask her out?" Diana finally said as she continued to watch Batman talk with Fire. She wondered what he was saying to her. The determined look on Fire's face told her Batman was not talking pleasantries with her. He was probably giving one of his no nonsense critiques on her performance on a recent mission.
"Because she is like... SO HOT!" Flash quickly back peddled as Diana raised a brow at him, "But not as hot as you Wondy!"
Diana couldn't stop herself from laughing,"Thanks Flash." She hadn't been fishing for a compliment or concerned about her attractiveness. She was just confused as Flash normally was so bold when talking about women. He never usually hesitated to flirt. "She is beautiful. So why not put your famous moves on her?"
Flash slumped into his chair and looked miserable. "Yeah right," he said and thought, 'I'm all talk no action.' Suddenly his misery increased tenfold as he watched Fire laugh and place a hand onto Batman's bicep. Diana also heard the sudden loud laugh. She looked where it came from and saw Fire's hand on Batman.
"That's why." Flash said through gritted teeth, "I'm no match for a billionaire playboy."
Diana's fury was instantaneous and if she'd had laser vision Fire would have had a burn mark on her hand. Fire continued to hold onto Batman's arm.
"No your not." Diana said making Flash to sink even lower into his seat. "Your better because you're funny, open and honest." Unlike Batman who was stoic, humorless and almost hostel at times, and she was foolish enough to want him. Flash smiled and sat up straight.
"Thanks Diana. Wish she would see me like that." Diana just rolled her eyes at the way he was acting.
Normally Flash was so full of himself almost to the point of being obnoxious. However, now he was acting like a shy and scared little boy. I was very sweet and she felt like she was seeing the real Wally for the first time.
"Do you think he asked her on a date?" he said as he slumped more into his chair. Diana thought about the question. Batman asking someone on a date? The thought brought up their conversation on the rooftop a while back. He stated that dating within the team always ended badly. She shook her head.
"No, Batman believes that dating team mates will cause trouble for the League."
Flash had to agree with that, only he was agreeing that Batman should not be trying to date Fire. The two watched as Fire turned and left the commissary. Batman walked by the two and nodded his head at them. Diana smiled at him as he passed their table.
Flash chuckled as Diana watched him leave.
"See I'm not the only one." Diana whipped around to face Flash; her face had a pinkish glow to it as Flash chuckled a little more.
"No you're not the only one and when I tried asking him on a date he gave me a list of excuses of why we couldn't date. That's why I know he doesn't date colleagues."
"Stupid Bats," Flash said and they both smiled.
The smiles vanished when they heard the call on their communicators.
"Flash and Wonder Woman I need you for a mission." Mr. Terrific said to them. Diana touched her ear and replied.
"We're on our way." Flash quickly drank the last of his iced mocha and got up from his chair. Diana followed the speedster out the door.
Green Lantern was waiting for them on the teleport pad. Flash and Diana stepped up onto the platform.
"Cool. A founder's only mission." Flash grinned at John.
John sighed; it had been a while since the original seven had been together as of late. Only during mandatory founder's meetings did they all get together.
"It is Circe; she is floating above the New York." Diana's eyes turned hard. Flash patted a hand on her shoulder.
"Don't worry Wondy, I will protect you from turning into a piggy again." he cheekily said. Diana turned the glare on him causing Flash to hide behind John. 'Man she can be scary sometimes,' thought Wally.
"I'm kidding Diana. Please don't be mad." Flash tried to apologize. Diana just turned her head away from him. John shook his head at him. He bowed his head; he was only trying to make a joke. He didn't know it was such a sore point for her.
They beamed down and Diana flew up into the sky looking for Circe. John joined Diana in the sky. Flash zipped around the busy streets looking out for the centuries old witch. Lucky or unlucky for him he spotted her on top of a tall building looking down at the city. He ran straight up the side of the building.
Once there he noticed she was still looking over the edge. Flash ran up to her and placed an arm around her shoulder.
"Looking for something pretty lady?" he asked her. Circe stiffened and stood straight. She turned her head and looked at the man in the red suit. Flash noticed the frown on her face.
"Don't look so sad, your way to sexy to be sad." Circe's eyebrow rose. She almost laughed him. Flash gave her a lecherous smile.
"I could change your mind about being evil if you only allowed the Flashster to show you a good time." he said with a wink. Circe's mouth turned into a smile as she was amused by this pathetic man's attempts to come on to her.
"Oh really," she said in a darkly amused tone. Flash grinned and shrugged his shoulders.
"You haven't tried out the Flash honey, I can take you around the world in more ways then one." he said as his grin widened. Circe laughed causing Flash to chuckle also.
"So you think you can handle a woman like me?" she seductively said. Flash nodded his head rapidly. Circe placed a finger to her lips, contemplating his offer.
"No thanks, but you amuse me and I should give you a reward for making me laugh. How about I turn you into a real lady's man?" Circe laughed wickedly.
"Hey the Flash can satisfy any lady." he stated in a cocky tone. Circe licked her lips causing Flash's brain to short out for a moment because even if she was a evil witch she was still hot. In that moment Circe hit him with a spell, knocking the Flash out.
"Wake up." John slapped Flash's face. He shook his head and slowly got to his feet.
"What happened?" he said groggily as he tried to figure out what had happened to him.
"Circe got to you. I'm beaming you up to the Watchtower to get checked out." John said as Flash finally stood up straight.
"I'm fine." John looked at the speedster and saw he was still a little off balance.
"No. You're going back to the Watchtower for observation." John commanded. Flash agreed as he still felt a little funny. In a matter of a few seconds Flash was back on the Watchtower. A female nurse came and escorted him back to the medical bay.
As they walked towards the medical section of the Watchtower, Flash felt the nurse slowly run her hand back and forth over his arm. He looked at her questioningly and she smiled sweetly up at him.
"Has anyone ever told you that you have nice muscles?" Flash was shocked at what she said and what she was doing to his body. The nurse winked and batted her eyes at him. Once in the examining room, she sat him down on a bed and continued to rub his arm then started to work her way down to his leg. Flash grabbed her hands.
"Woah lady!" he said. She looked hurt and confused at his actions.
"Am I not pretty enough?" she asked him with a pout. Flash was ready to start to drool since she was gorgeous but shook his head.
"Yes… No… I mean I hardly even know you." he said quickly. He was saved from further embarrassment when a male doctor came into the room.
"Nancy start the scanners and run a full diagnostic on Flash," he said as he walked over to Flash and started to shine a light into his eyes.
The scanner had just finished and Nancy was standing next to Flash. Her eyes were almost predatory as she looked at him like a piece of meat. Diana walked into the room just as Nancy was about to make another move on Flash.
"Flash are you okay?" she asked him as she stood at the bottom of the bed. Nancy once again started to feel Flash's arm. He stiffened at the contact.
Diana gave the nurse a hard glare.
"Stop that!" she pointed her finger at Nancy. She turned to look at Diana and swallowed at the angry look on the Amazon's face.
"Stop touching him and get out NOW!" Diana growled at her. Nancy flinched but stood her ground and continued to rub Flash's arm.
"He is sick and it is my job to take care of him." Nancy defended herself.
"You need to leave now; we have to debrief about the mission and it is top secret." Diana said as she smiled at Flash.
The nurse stopped rubbing his arm and slowly walked away staring at him with large puppy eyes. Once she was out the door, Diana walked seductively towards Flash.
"Did that mean Circe hurt my poor Wallyally?" she licked her lips as she stood in front of him. Flash froze on the spot. What in the hell was wrong with her. Diana never acted like this towards him. Diana noticed his stiff posture.
"Are you sore or STIFF anywhere?" she batted her eyes at him. Flash shook his head.
"Okay Wondy stop acting like that." he tried to sound tough by his voice came out as a squeak. Diana placed a hand on his knee and slowly started to move it up his thigh. Half way up Flash stopped her hand.
"Did Circe do something to you Diana?" he asked her in concern. Diana closed her eyes when Wally touched her hand her breathing increased.
"No." she whispered. Flash did not know what to do. Diana was coming on to him, but she was not acting like her normal self. He gently removed her hand. Diana looked hurt and confused for a moment. Nancy came back into the room.
"Flash I forgot to give you my number just in case..." she walked around the cloth divider and stopped when she saw them holding hands. Her eyes turned to little slits of anger.
"WHAT are you doing with my man?" Nancy yelled at Diana. She looked at the little woman with disdain.
"He not your man, he's mine. Why would he want a little trollop like you when he can have a goddess." Diana smiled as she looked at Wally. "Tell her Flash." she stated imperiously. Wally was suddenly frightened by the predatory looks on both women's faces. He is relieved when the doctor enters the room and momentarily distracts the women. This gives him the second he needs to escape. He raced to the teleporter and beamed himself back home before anyone could stop him.
Flash paced his living room floor. He couldn't figure out why Diana and Nancy had acted that way, it was beyond weird. His stomach started to grumble and he switched his attention to getting something to eat. He checked his refrigerator and cabinets and found a half bag of stale saltines and a jar of pickles. He really needed to go shopping. He grabbed his jacket and left his apartment. As he walked down the street, several women smiled and winked at him. One even let out a wolf whistle. Wally decided he must look good in his jeans, white shirt and corduroy jacket. He started to strut as he walked down the street. He even feel so good that he started to sing in a falsetto voice.
Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk,
I'm a woman's man, no time to talk.
Music loud and women warm.
I've been kicked around since I was born.
And now it's all right, it's O.K
The female counter clerk at his favorite pizza place watched as he walked by the window. She rolled her eyes. Wally was always coming in and ordering the same thing. Four large cheese and pepperoni pizzas, and he always flirted with her. He was an all right looking man but not her type. She watched as he strolled up to the counter.
"How's it going good looking." Wally said as he winked at her. Normally she would ignore his flirtatious banter but tonight she kind of liked it. How had she never noticed how good looking he was she wondered. She could just drown in in his beautiful green eyes.
"I'm doing very well now that your here." she huskily said.
Wally was taken back by her attitude. Normally she would just smile, ask his order and turn her back to him. Now she was openly flirting and smiling at him. He was about to return the flirtatious banter when a loud bang from across the street forced him to turn. The corner store was being robbed.
"Oh I left my wallet at my apartment. I'll be right back," he said, but stopped when she replied back.
"No charge for you handsome." she said and pushed the pizzas at Wally. Wally smiled and grabbed the pizzas as he rushed out of the store. He zipped home faster than the eye could see and deposited the pizzas on the counter and in a blink of an eye was in his red costume. An instant later, he stopped the robbery much to the shop keepers relief and gratitude. The police arrived and he answered their questions about the robbery. However the female officer questioning him started flirting. She asked if he had a girlfriend and if he liked dating cops. He felt very uncomfortable and inquired if he was still needed. Before she could say anything her male partner said he was free to go and he made his escape. He returned to his apartment and heated up and scarfed down the pizzas. He then let out a huge yawn. Today had been a freaky day and he was exhausted. He figured everything would be back to normal in the morning. He fell on his bed and passed out in seconds.
The next morning he did his usually morning routine and headed to his favorite donut shop for a large vanilla latte and a dozen donuts. He had to work at the Central City Crime Lab this morning. As he was waiting in line two beautiful blonds came up to him.
"Did anybody ever tell you how handsome you are?" the first one said to him.
The other ran her hand up his arm, "Ooh! Your muscles are so hard." She looked up at him and licked her lips. Another woman came up and pushed her away.
"Stop touching him bitch, he is mine," she said while giving Wally a predatory smile. Wally was beginning to freak out as two more women came up.
"Says you shank, I'm sure he prefers me. I am much better looking than you," said another woman.
"I bet I am better in bed that you. Would you like to go back to my place and find out hot stuff?" said the first blond.
"Uhh..." was all Wally could manage before the ladies started fighting. A major cat fight broke out in the donut shop. Terrified, Wally zoomed out of there and back to his apartment at top speed. He closed and locked the door; he was afraid to leave. He called in sick to work. He sighed, at this rate he would end up losing his job.
He could not figure out what the hell was happening to him. Why were females throwing themselves at him? He could think of only one person he to help him. He would go up to the Watchtower and ask him for help.
Wally dressed in his uniform and called for a transport up to the Watchtower and started zipping around looking for J'onn. It seemed like every time he stopped every female around would turn and look at him with hungry stares. He was beginning to feel like a side of prime beef. He even heard a few catcalls about his body. Wally finally found J'onn meditating in his room.
"Man J'onn, I need your help. I'm like a chick magnet now." Flash sighed as he sat down on the floor next to him.
J'onn's eyes stopped glowing and he just stared at Wally. He could tell that the young man was scared and agitated.
"What do you mean Flash?" he asked him. Wally got up and stared pacing the room, not really knowing what was happening to him. He took a few deep breaths.
"Yesterday a nurse in the med bay was all over me and when Diana came into the room she kicked her out and started to come on to me. Last night the girl in the pizza place who usually ignores me started flirting and a lady cop who showed up when I stopped a robbery asked if I had a girlfriend. And this morning when I went to the donut shop the women in there got into a riot over me. Even when I was searching the Watchtower for you all the women were eying me like I was a large chocolate mouse with whipped cream." Wally's shoulders slumped and he sank to the floor. J'onn listened to his story in amazement. He nearly laughed a few times but didn't as he sensed how terrified Wally was.
"Start from the beginning. What happened before the women started pursuing you." J'onn said. Wally told him about there mission and being found unconscious.
"Maybe Circe placed a spell on you as punishment for your behavior towards her?" J'onn surmised. Wally shook his head rapidly up and down.
"Yeah that witch did something to me, made me MORE irresistible to women." J'onn again just stared at the young man, he rose above making any comment to that statement. The door opened and Batman walked towards Wally. Wally stood up and looked at Batman and thought it was his lucky day. If anybody knew how to break a spell by Circe it was Batman.
"Bats." he said. Batman walked right up to Wally and slugged him in the face which knocked Wally to the ground. Batman just stood over him glaring down.
"What the hell Bats... that hurt." Wally cried out.
"What did you do to my princess?" he growled menacingly. Wally had no idea. What he was talking about?
"Huh?" Batman bent down and got menacingly close to Wally's face.
"Diana came to me last night crying about how you didn't love her and were cheating on her with some slutty nurse. She was in hysterics over YOU! Alfred was finally able to convince her to drink some tea that he had drugged and she passed out. I could not go on patrol because I was busy running blood tests to see if she was on some hallucinogen that made you attractive! When I found nothing I started to worry about her sanity. So what the HELL did you do to her!" his voice dripped with venom.
"WHAT?" was all Wally could say at first but then he continued. "I was just talking to J'onn he said I might have had a spell cast on me by Circe that makes me more attractive to women." Wally was scared that Batman would hit him again. However, Batman stood up straight and looked down at him.
"We need to remove this spell and we can't use Zatanna… Maybe Dr. Fate?" he said in a now calm voice as he looked at J'onn. J'onn agreed Fate would be the best person to solve this problem.
"J'onn you will need to keep Wally here until I return with Fate. We cannot have the women on the Watchtower getting into a riot over him." Batman commanded as he turned and left the room.
Wally slowly pulled himself back up to a sitting position and rubbed his face. J'onn once again started to meditate. Wally sighed.
"How long will Bats be?" he asked J'onn. He kept his eyes glowing but replied.
"However long it takes him to find Dr. Fate and bring him here." Wally slouched on the ground some more. The plain room was boring and he was hungry. He sighed again and started to tap his leg against the floor. Then his hands started to beat on the floor also.
As he was about to start beat boxing, J'onn's eyes stopped glowing and he turned his head and stared at Wally. He stopped fidgeting around.
"Sorry," was all Wally said. J'onn returned to his meditation.
Batman didn't return until two hours later. Wally was ready to climb the walls as all J'onn had done during that two-hour period was sit there. He didn't move or even make a noise.
"Bats… Oh god am I glad to see you." Flash whined. Dr Fate walked into the room and looked at Wally. J'onn finally opened his eyes and stood up.
"Well?" was all Batman said. Dr Fate walked around Wally and closed his eyes.
"It's a spell but not a very powerful one. I guess she just wanted to torture him a little." Dr. Fate quipped and Batman smirked. Even J'onn smiled at the joke while Flash just felt miserable. "I should be able to break it. Have a seat on the ground."
Wally rolled his eyes. He had been sitting there for two hours now. Well that was not strictly true. He could not sit still for more the ten minutes at a time before he got up and paced the room. J'onn's eyes would stop glowing and he would stare Wally when he started making too much noise. This would force Wally to sit back down and repeat the process.
Wally sat back down on the hard floor and waited. Fate walked around him and started to mumble quiet words that Wally could not understand. Suddenly he felt light headed to the point he almost passed out. Fate stopped then.
"It's been lifted." he stated. Fate walked up to Batman and the two left the room. Wally slowly got back to his feet. He did not feel disorientated this time.
"Think it's over J'onn?" Wally asked him. J'onn just shrugged his shoulders and left the room. Wally cautiously peeked around the corner. No one was in the hallway so he zipped down the corridor and stopped at another doorway. Looking around he noticed that the area was full of people, mostly females. He stepped out of the doorway and stood there closing his eyes in fear. After a few moments, he opened one eye and looked around.
Males and females walked by without even looking at him. Wally exhaled the breath that he wasn't aware he was even holding. Since he was feeling extremely hungry he made his way to the commissary for a quick meal.
As he sat down at an empty table with a tray full of food, he saw Diana walk in the room. She looked at him and he looked back at her. She looked worried. Wally smiled a friendly smile at her. She looked relieved to as she returned the friendly smile.
She slowly walked over to him and he offered her a seat. Diana sat down and looked across at him with an embarrassed look on her face.
"Wally about yesterday… I'm so sorry for coming on to you. J'onn told me that Circe cast a spell on you and that I was just reacting to it, but I'm sorry anyway." she said nervously as she stared at the table. Wally smiled and placed his hand on hers.
"Wondy… If you truly felt that way about me, I would be honored. Nevertheless, I know you have feelings for Bats. Still friends?" he asked her. Diana looked at him in surprise.
"Shouldn't I be the one to be asking if we are still friends? But yes, of course we are." She smiled at him and gently touched her other hand to his hand. Wally nodded his head and started to stuff his face.
"By the way, did you really go crying to Batman?" he asked and color rose in Diana's face as she blushed her embarrassment.
"Yes," she whispered. Wally chuckled evilly. Guess the punch had warranted after all.
Diana narrowed her eyes at him when he started to laugh.
"Sorry Di, but Bats nearly punched my head off for making you cry on his shoulder last night...I think it pissed him off that you were crying over me." he said with a wink. Diana rolled her eyes as they both laughed.
Wally stopped laughing when Fire came into the room. Diana turned her head when Wally continued to stare. She smirked as she turned back towards him.
"So you going to ask her out? After what you've been though in the past twenty-four hours do you think her saying no would be so bad?" she asked him. Wally swallowed the mouth full of food. He placed his fork down and looked at Diana. He nodded his head and got up from his seat.
"Go get her Flash." Diana said as he walked toward Fire. Wally could feel the sweat start to appear on his forehead. Luckily his costume would absorb it. He walked right up to Fire and stood there look at her back for a few moments before he tapped her on the shoulder.
Fire turned around and stared at Wally. His brain shut down for a moment. Fire looked at him in confusion.
"Yes, Flash?" she said in her accented English. It caused his brain to reboot.
"I..I was wondering if you would like to go on a date with me?" he said as he rubbed the back of his neck. Fire for a moment just looked at him, Wally almost ran away until she smiled at him.
"I would love that." Wally's smiled and nodded his head as they made plans for their date. Diana smiled until she felt a dark presence near her. She slowly turned her head from watching Wally to look at the dark cowl with white lenses staring back at her. She could feel the color rising in her cheeks.
"You know Princess you owe me a patrol," his deep baritone voice stated.
Diana blinked a few times before she responded. "You don't let metas patrol in your city," she said to him as Batman smirked.
"And I don't allow metas to come into my cave and cry on my shoulder over the Flash. So tonight I'm going to have a relaxing evening while you run around patrolling in Robin's spare suit."
Diana's eyes flashed with anger. "No way in Tartarus am I doing that!" she hissed at him
Batman's rubbed his finger on his exposed chin. "I wonder how the league would like to see the surveillance footage from my cave last night." he teased her. He would never extort Diana with that information but it was fun to watch her reaction.
Diana's eyes grew large then turned to slits."You wouldn't survive long enough to start the tape!" she hissed.
Batman shook with suppressed laughter.
"How about you come to the manor tonight and have dinner with me and we forget about the tape..." she smiled at him but it vanished as he continued, "...then I think I will have Alfred fit you into one of Robins old suits."
Diana moved her head closer to Batman's and whispered. "I will have dinner with you but I'm not wearing one of Robins suits," she said. "But I will wear this new strapless red dress I just bought." She looked up at him and licked her lips.
Batman's laughter vanished and his super human intellect shut down."Okay," he said as moved closer to her until their lips were millimeters apart. "But you owe me one night," he said very huskily.
Diana gave him a sultry look and whispered, "Okay."
The End.