Set after The Debt. I own nothing.
Betrayed. That was how Kensi felt after she realised it had been a set up. How could they exclude her like that? Didn't they trust her to be convincing? How could everyone one else be told but her?
What hurt most was that they all knew she had abandonment issues after her father, Jack and Dom so to think that she was loosing another partner they must have know would break her. And break her it did. She went home after it was all over and cried like she had the last few nights. Someone knocked at the door like they had the last few nights but she ignored them again. Whoever it was should know to leave her alone when she was feeling like that. Kensi didn't know how long it was but eventually footsteps indicated a person moving away like always but she ignored it. They knew not to push her for fear of her getting more angry with them. Finally Kensi fell into a fitfull sleep after crying herself into it, curled up on the sofa.
Callen, Sam and Deeks watched as Kensi left the bullpen in silence without even a backwards glance. They knew they shouldn't have used her like that but they had to make sure the act was believed. It wasn't that they didn't trust Kensi's acting skills but they knew her reaction would be more convincing if she didn't know, especially if she was taken by suprise by someone.
Still, they shouldn't have taken advantage of Kensi's past and feelings to make it convincing. Deeks didn't understand quite as much but Callen knew Kensi well and he should have seen this coming. Sam knew her but not quite like Callen did. Callen and Kensi had always been close and they had had a connection from the first time they met. Both could feel the sparks that had been there but neither wanted to address them for fear of what it could do to their relationship.
When Kensi brushed past him today, it wasn't sparks he felt, it was cold chills from Kensi's frosty gaze and attitude. It just confirmed he'd messed up. She may get annoyed, angry even, but she could never stay angry at Callen for more than a few hours and she could never give him the silent treatment but Kensi hadn't spoken to him since she found out unless to update him on a case or share her ideas and she was very angry.
Kensi woke an hour later not feeling any better than she did before, if anything worse thanks to the ache in her neck and back from the angle she slept at. Try as she might she couldn't get back to sleep so she let her thoughts run.
Sam. He was her friend, her big brother. He knew some of her past and he must have known how much this would affect her, hurt her but he let it happen. What did that say for their relationship, their friendship, their trust if he could abuse her trust like that, if he could use her like that again without her knowledge and permission?
Deeks. Her partner, her friend, drinking buddy, annoying little brother. He may not have known her for as long as the others had but she had opened up to him in some areas more than she ever had before. He must have known how much this would affect her yet he played her, let her be played. He made her believe this was real and shut her out. He knew her worries about loosing another partner but he let her think that was what was happening. How could she trust him again?
Hetty. Her boss, her protector. She sanctioned this. It was under her orders that Kensi got played. Hetty knew everything yet she still played Kensi's emotions without her knowing and Kensi hated that. If there was one thing she hated more than anything it was being played. Hetty knew that but she did it anyway. How could Kensi trust her orders again without fear of being played? Hetty said she was in her debt, maybe she could cash that in sooner rather than later.
Callen. Her friend, her team leader. For some reason his betrayal hurt the worst. Kensi wasn't sure why. Well she knew why but she didn't want to admit it. She knew she liked Callen but she didn't pursue it for manu reasons but his betrayal, it changed that. The sparks she used to feel as she brushed past him or made contact with him had gone the last few days after she had found out and were replaced with nothing. She couldn't trust him anymore. Trust was important to Kensi and when it was lost whatever they had felt broken to her. It may seem something small and insignificant to others but he had played her feelings and emotions and had used her for purposes she had no choice in and she couldn't forgive that easily,
The team. Her family. Or it was but it felt shattered now to Kensi. She didn't trust them anymore. How could she work with them when she didn't know if she could trust them in the field? It wasn't that she thought they wouldn't have her back, she knew they would, they were good agents but she didn't know if they would use her again and this time she could get hurt in the process. She couldn't take any more abandonment, her heart couldn't take any more.