Twisted, Every Sue
A story by Deep Roller
Author's Note: This is probably not funny to anyone and therefore you should avoid viewing it. You know, people, that's reverse psychology for "REVIEW OMG PLZ THX!" It's sad that my Word program does not recognize OMG, PLZ or THX as spelling errors. Yes. Just have a good time and take nothing personally.
Disclaimer: I own nobody. Heck, I don't even own myself! The various Sues you see here are all an amalgamation of sue traits and therefore every author owns them, in some form. Wow, that's deep. Not.
It was still dark and cold early in the morning when the knock came at her door. Groggy from sleep, Christine stumbled to answer it without much thought as to who it could be. After all, it was the eve of a premier and maybe there was some sort of early rehearsal, something she wouldn't put past Madame Giry. She was much too tired to really reason, and so the door opened readily. But when she saw who was at the door, her eyes widened in surprise but before she could scream, a hand closed over her mouth. Two shapes, fuzzy in the darkness of the hall, got behind her and bound her own struggling hands behind her back.
Another tied a blindfold about he eyes and yet another a gag for her mouth. She felt her heartbeat quicken to the level of a roaring waterfall so that she could barely hear the giggles and voices of her assailants. Then, a moment of shock as she was lifted off of her feet and thrown haphazardly into her small, musty closet. She heard the closet door lock and wished she hadn't insisted on a lock for it in the first place. Well, now she was paying for it, wasn't she?
She tried to scream, but the gag prevented it. She could now hear the voices more clearly. "Let's go…come on he doesn't like to be kept waiting…"
"Oh, you first by all means!"
"But I have this letter, it's specific…"
"WOW! I can't believe we're at the Opera Populaire!"
"Shut UP! Let's just go, right on through. Like this, I know exactly how…"
Then the voices were gone. Christine thought she heard the swivel and pivot of the mirror, Erik's mirror, and was sure it was that as several pairs of feet began moving down the hall. Christine sighed and closed her eyes. There was really no point in fighting it. She hoped someone would come for her soon, that Raoul would notice she was missing. But no, he probably wouldn't, as she had told him she was going to be in grueling rehearsals all day. Erik knew also that she was going to be in those same grueling rehearsals, Madame Giry was a stickler for perfection. Both Raoul and Erik were not without their share of suspicion when they accepted this story, but accept it they did. Great. She leaned her head against the peeling wall of the closet and prayed that someone would find her soon. They had to!
The mirror didn't lock back into place after the mysterious assailants went through. It stayed open, as though it were a door of some sort, half ajar. About an hour after the ambush, Christine was too deep into her thoughts to hear the second batch of people come through the mirror, and an hour after that, the third.
Erik had been working all night. Well, night or day, it was the same to him. He stretched and stepped away from the pipe organ, looking forward to a little rest. After a night with a head full of music, it was good to clear it somehow. Suddenly a loud crash startled him. "Ayesha?" He asked cautiously, knowing the cat was very capable of getting into things. Another crash, followed by a small giggle. Ayesha might be human-like in many ways, but she did not giggle. "Nadir?" Erik inquired, now quite uneasy. It wasn't like Nadir, as nosy as he was, to stop by uninvited. Suddenly from the floor he heard a loud wail.
"NO! Don't beat me again! I SWEAR I'LL BE GOOD! NO! DON'T! AIEEEE!" Erik stepped back as though he had stepped on broken glass. There was a girl sprawled across his floor, a girl tossing and turning in uneasy sleep. She had dark hair, wore a ballet outfit, and was quite pale, though she looked rather pretty. But what she was doing on his floor, he had no real idea.
"AIEEEE!" It was a different girl! This one was tanned, redheaded, and wore gypsy garb. She seemed to be in the same sort of throes as the one on the floor. Erik was VERY much disturbed now. He didn't know what to do, or where to go. And then suddenly there came a rush of eight girls, all from the secret passageway entrance. Five of them clung to him, one started to sob, one was flashing her hands furiously, and three more were coming more slowly.
"Hi, oh it's YOU! It's YOU! Erik my love!"
"..Never dreamed I'd see you!"
"It's the ghost! It's what I've had in my visions…"
"Erik? Where are you? I cannot seem to see you…"
"We are so alike, you and I. I shall sing a song of devotion! (opera singing)"
"Come closer, my angel, come closer".
"And then they abandoned me at the orphanage, always knew I wanted to sing, always knew I wanted to work at the Opera. Then the ORPHANAGE burnt down and I was sent to live with…"
"Can you ever forgive me for letting Christine harm you?"
"I know it was you with the chandelier!"
The voices were ranging from high pitched and excited to plaintive, tremulous whispers to voices so angelic they could put Christine to shame. Erik pushed all of the girls away and they fell over into a heap, on top of the dark haired, sleeping girl. The dark haired sleeper awoke with a yelp and fled to a darkened corner. She was met with a sharp "Hey! Watch it! That's my CD player!"
"Okay, OKAY! WHAT IS GOING ON HERE??!" Erik roared, trying to gain some sense from this nightmare. "EVERYONE, SILENCE!" All the girls fell silent, and stared rapturously and adoringly at Erik. Ten more emerged from the Louis Phillipe room, summoned by the awesome strength of his voice. Six climbed out of the small boat, but the last one accidentally kicked a hole in it and it sank. She stumbled clumsily to join the others with tears streaming down her face. They all, oblivious to Erik's order of silence, began the process all over again.
"It's the Phantom! The Phantom!"
"I can see the eternal devotion in his eyes! His soul is broken and I will mend it!"
"Who could ever love a clumsy chorus girl like me with this dreadful scar on my pinky?"
"DID I NOT JUST ASK FOR SILENCE??!" Erik felt his blood rushing and his voice echoed throughout the lake. The fifteen more prettily waifish girls who had swum under the portcullis filed onto the shore and began shivering prettily as they watched Erik with huge, beautiful, unusually colored eyes. Except for the two of that were blind. Their eyes were beautiful still, but pale and distant. "WHAT is going on here? Who showed you down here?" He repeated, trying to keep calm. They just kept coming! Five more from seemingly out of nowhere. And one was dressed atrociously, and had massive…things over her ears. He could hear sound blaring from them and preferred not to think about it any further.
"Found the way down myself…"
"Was guided by love and trust-"
"Always knew the way from my dreams.."
"Got lost and wound up here-"
"And I fled from the memories of the burning orphanage and-"
"They are all such meanies! Especially La Carlotta.."
"Ran from their taunts-"
"My faithful friend Rose Starr Dragonsong helped me, as I am quite blind…"
"I time traveled after being sucked into the book."
"I time traveled after listening to the soundtrack and falling asleep…"
"I was brought here when I entered Box Five…"
"Think of me, think of me fondly…"
There was another assault on his ears as the girls struggled to tell their stories over one another. Some were shoving, some were shouting, and quite a few were crying hysterically. One of them, a blonde in a pink ballet outfit, was being artfully quiet, which he enjoyed, and didn't feel like prompting her to speak. Of course, when he looked at her, she began the longest tirade of them all.
"I'm deaf but I can read minds and lips and can speak aloud with wonderful clarity. I'm the daughter of Philipe, Comte de Chagny and I have heard of you through him and through Christine and I am just SO ENRAGED at her for not choosing you. I come to you with love and an open heart so please have me, Angel."
He chose not to respond to that, but rather issued another order. "Alright, all of you, line up side by side like you were to take a curtain call. And if there's anyone still lurking in the shadows," he added loudly, "she'd be smart to come forward." Two girls riding double on an exhausted Cesar did just that. The poor horse collapsed tiredly, as he had ferried about thirteen girls into the cellars in under an hour. That was large trip up and down the stairs.
"What are all of your names? One by one."
""Marie"
"Isabella"
"Ravenstar Evermorning"
"Marie"
"Aranananana Beacuelle"
"Serah Miller"
"Isabella"
"Erika"
"Joesefine Sitara"
"Kendra Sanderson"
"Aylieea Mayeleieie"
"Rose, DarkBlood Rose"
"Goddess Anamariia Saunchon"
"(opera singing)"
"hand flutters that somehow manage to convey 'Sweet Melody Belle"
And this went on for about twenty minutes. Erik was bored until he heard,
"Christine Southby. But I'm not like the other Christine. But Rose, Marie, Dawn, Vision. and Isabella took care of her." All the girls giggled and Erik became alarmed.
"Where's Christine?" He demanded with quiet authority. The girls looked among one another and giggled. Erik ran to one of them and shook her. "Where is Christine?"
"I know not my lord Phantom." The girl replied, looking not the slightest bit worried at Erik's growing impatience.
"Erick, I know what they did with her." Another girl said shyly. "They have hidden her away, I heard everything!"
"Where?" He asked, rounding on her and looking hopeful. "What have these monsters done with her? Where is she?"
"They locked her away. Sadly, I do not know where as I lost my sight when a train car turned over and hot sparks flew into my-"
"Do you know who can tell me?" Erik asked, his patience clipped to the quick.
"Ariystal saw what happened. Ariystal is right next to me, I can tell by the scent of fresh roses and angel dust this is so. Just as I know your musk and its wonders that-"
Erik didn't even bother with that, he turned to the next girl. "Arisystal?" He asked. She nodded mutely, her graceful swan neck flexing with the action. "Ariystal, did you see where they took Christine?" Another graceful nod. "Where? Tell me!"
"…." Arisytal opened her mouth but nothing came out. Silent tears danced quietly on her cheeks. Erik felt like just blowing the Opera House up now.
"WOW! I am ACTUALLY SEEING ERIK GET MAD! WOW HE'S EVEN HOTTER THAN IN THE MOVIE!" A shrill voice exclaimed, supplemented by others. "Sing once again with meeee…"
All he needed was a place to go away, far away. But now Christine was in danger thanks to these terrible girls. He didn't know what he could do, he felt so trapped. He sat down on the organ bench to think. A girl scooted out of his way and began to play his music loudly. "Like it? I just learned how to play last year, but I am told I am quite gifted. Please, if a letter could be written to the management to put me in the role of the Queen of the Night in tonight's show…"
Without a second thought, Erik promptly shoved the girl off the bench. He no longer cared how he treated them, if they would just go. They invaded his home, yammering, singing, fighting amongst themselves. None of them touched his mask as they swore on their virtue that they would not. He suddenly had a plan. He knew that as much as they said they loved him, they probably couldn't cope with the real him. No one had been able to as of yet. "Mademoiselles!" He called. As one, every single girl's head turned to look at him. "BEHOLD!" He removed his mask and waited triumphantly for the mass exit it would cause. What came shocked HIM and filled him with despair.
"Awwwwwwwwwwwwww!" They all said as one, followed by things like "You are so beautiful!" and "I love you despite our differences!" and above it all the high keening wail of "Nonononono Don't beat me again! It was just bread!"
Erik turned away and hid his face in his hands, sobbing. Instantly, many hands were touching him consolingly.
"What's the matter, Erik? Are you saddened because you fee you are too ugly for a beautiful girl like myself to love you?" One of the Isabellas asked.
"No, he is sad because we have rejected him, but I do not for in my mind is his eternal beauty, as I cannot see." Said one of the blind Roses.
"And in this labyrinnnnth where niiiight is bliiiiind…."
"I'm blind! Do not offend blind people!"
He had to make them leave, somehow, or he would die of insanity. Poor Ayesha was a scared wreck huddled in a corner as three girls tried to coax her over, saying that they liked her and wanted to make friends. One girl kept hovering near him and calling him "Phantom" and proclaiming her hatred for Raoul. He couldn't seem to get rid of any of them, and the day was getting steadily worse. He had to go look for Christine. But upon reaching the boat, he found it broken and sinking and a girl was sobbing disconsolately by it. He found he was rather tired of the helpless sobbing and tremulous looks of girls. He was swearing off women for good, in fact! All he needed to do was save Christine and then he was never, ever EVER leaving the house on the lake again. What a wicked world it was. What had he done to deserve such punishment? In desperation, he dove into the lake and began to swim for the opposite shore. Sirens, lobsters, and any traps he had set be damned, he needed to get OUT of there!
Running the stone steps sopping wet, he paused long enough to catch his breath. He dared not look behind him, for he knew a few of the girls had grabbed torches and were attempting to follow him. He felt hunted, he felt upset, and he felt like crawling into a hole and dying. By God, it was HIS house he had just fled from! No one, especially not a pack of little girls, could make him flee from his house. But what alternative did he have? They were like ravenous, rabid animals, demented and devouring him whole. Not anywhere could he turn in peace.
"I just need some peace! Just a little!"
"Become a different sort of Angel." A voice suddenly popped into his head. He looked around, worried. It wasn't a female voice, or a male one, but just a voice. "If you do, they will leave. And Christine is locked in her closet. But first you must set things right on the lake. The voice was soothing, promising, and for once in his life, Erik felt he knew what happiness was. Happiness was this, this guiding voice. It was almost as if some higher power were repaying him for singing to Christine. For now he knew the path he could take. He knew what would drive them away in hordes.
"Thank you for showing me the way," He said to apparently thin air.
"Think nothing of it, now, go!" He nodded eagerly and raced back down the stairs. He had some planning to do.
Meanwhile, back at the house on the lake, things were worse than ever. The four who had gone after Erik had apparently drowned. The Sirens, who they did not know about, had claimed them. Love didn't conquer all, after all. The ones still in the house were clashing with one another.
"You're not even French! What kind of name is Jaguar Granite anyway?"
"Erik deserves Jaguar Granite over Hermione Woodsland!" The other girl said heatedly.
"Erik's been gone an awful long time. I bet he abandoned us like all the other men in our lives whom we loved and trusted!" The girl in the gypsy garb wailed. She sat among twenty other girls, who all wore haunted expressions as they braided one another's hair and shared their tragic pasts. A communal wailing set up from that group. Another group of perhaps five girls who were time travelers were talking about things in the modern world. One girl kept singing song lyrics from the musical and was not silenced even with a kick. Yet another kept reading passages out of the book.
"All those words are so boring! The movie is like, ten times better. And who's the Persian, anyway?" One of the time travelers asked, wrinkling her nose and flashing her magenta hair attractively in the candlelight.
"I am the Persian," Nadir said, stepping into the room and staring in disbelief. "What is going on-"
"I have returned!" Erik announced dramatically. All the girls turned to look adoringly at him, but the looks froze on their faces. Nadir looked as well and Erik caught him looking. One glare was enough to silence the daroga. He was dressed in white, and under his arm he carried a bowl and a whisk. "The Angel of Pudding has come to grant you your wishes!" His voice was cheerful, something some of the darker-clad girls shied away from. They liked all the darkness of Erik, and this new was just too strange.
"Pudding? That doesn't make any sense? That's not RIGHT!!"
"Rice pudding! It's quite good, I shall whisk for you." Erik said jovially, whisking away. Many of the girls were backing toward the secret entrance slowly, and Nadir tried to hide a smile. "Come come, dears! I thought you were here for good! We have bowls, get some bowls Nadir."
They were shoving their way toward the exits now, pushing each other and falling all over one another to get out as fast as they could. Erik was capering around, a huge grin on his face as he ladled out pudding. Soon, sooner than he thought possible, the lair was quiet.
"Erik…what was THAT all about?"
"I'm not quite sure myself. But the Angel of Pudding is quite a rewarding career. Rice pudding?" Nadir accepted a bowl and reflected that he had probably never tasted pudding that was so delicious. But after all, it was Erik. "The kitchen near the Bois is quite helpful in obtaining ingredients." He added at Nadir's questioning look. Then Erik spilt the whole, sordid tale of the morning. It was such a short tale, but it had seemed an eternity when the girls had invaded his sanctum.
"But how did you know that this," Nadir gestured, "would get rid of them?"
"Simple. I'm a genius. Besides, they all had in their minds a perfect picture of me. Dark, mysterious, cantankerous. I figured I'd just knock their world askew a little. Christine seemed to….my GOD! Christine!!!" Erik fled from the house once again, knocking pudding across the table. He pushed up the stone steps and through the poor, tired mirror which sagged on its hinges from so much turning. "Christine?" He called worriedly. Suddenly the closet door burst open and Christine, still blindfolded and gagged, staggered towards Erik. "Christine, child, are you alright?"
"I think so. Oh! It was horrible! I managed to break my bonds when I smelled the absolutely divine smell of pudding."
"I am the Angel of Pudding now, you know. Rice pudding."
"With or without raisins?"
"With." She flung herself into his startled arms and sighed in heavenly bliss.
"I love you, my Angel of Pudding." Erik stepped away and took her hand gently, leading her back down the much trodden and not very secret passageway. When they returned to his underground lair, he placed a bowl of pudding into her hands and gently led her to her room.
"Now, Christine, please do not be offended, but…"
"But what, Erik?"
"Please eat your pudding and try to stay out of my way. I will explain later, it's been quite a long day. I shall inform management that you will not be able to perform tonight as you have missed rehearsals today. Alright?" Baffled, Christine knew better than to argue with any Angel, especially the Angel of Pudding. Obediently, she nodded, took a spoon and retired to her room to eat the heaven-sent meal. Erik, alone at last, stretched out on his couch and shut his eyes for a well deserved rest.
Raoul was readying to see the opening night of the show. His clothes were in order and he had a rose for Christine. Suddenly, there was a timid knock at his door. He fancied he could hear girlish giggles coming from the other side. "Christine? Meg?" He asked, a playful note entering his voice. He slowly opened the door, and his eyes grew very wide….
A/N: I'll leave the rest to all y'all's imagination. :D Poor Raoul, he has a newly transferred fan base. Goodnight, everyone, and stay wonderful.