A/N: I got this idea while listening to Maroon 5's 'The Man Who Never Lied' in the shower. (TMI?) And then I just couldn't get the idea out of my head. Sorry for any feels.
It was cold in the bunker. Dark, damp, quiet. But it didn't bother him. This was what he needed to sit down and process. Of course, that process was ongoing, days of pondering his existence and why he felt the need to keep going, even though he knew exactly what he was.
He had filled the bunker with meager things that would help him survive, but just barely. It took everything in him to stop from breaking out in hysterics as he placed box after box of Fancy Lads on the shelf. Something he had loved so much, and now he knew why. Because synths loved these fucking things. And that's what he was. Just another thing coded to love something every other manufactured sack loved as well.
It was only a few days into being at the bunker when Emma finally came looking for him. She had found him, just like he knew she would. Their last few moments alone together in the middle of the Glowing Sea hadn't been pleasant. He had defied his own personal mantra, opened up to her, and she had shut him down. Albeit, gently and not without affection. Still, being told that nothing could happen until she finished her personal mission of figuring out her son, hurt.
He couldn't blame her entirely, but he was allowed to feel the pain. He was human, after all. Or so he thought. The news of him being a synth, the realization that everything he had ever thought he was was a lie, broke his heart all over again. Standing in front of Emma, listening to her declare that she wasn't going to kill him because she loved him, he knew that he needed to do this. It was the only thing that he could think of.
So they made a deal. She would take his dog tags back to Maxson. He would be dead to them, as if he wasn't already. They would meet up at the Slog, stay there a few days, and then trek to Sanctuary. And they would live there for the rest of their days. Once she was gone, it was quiet again. It was just what he needed.
His thoughts were racing, warring with each other. It wouldn't be a bad life. Living in Sanctuary, being with Emma. Having some kind of reality that would be his choosing. Or would it? Danse didn't know if he could live with the knowledge that he was a synth. And he didn't want to put this kind of agony onto anyone else. Maybe it was selfish, but he just couldn't.
Danse dug through his bag of belongings and pulled out his recorder, snapping a blank holotape in place. He paced for a moment, glancing at the damaged clock on the wall, amazed that it worked at all. And then, finally…
"As the minutes tick by and I stare at the walls of this godforsaken place,... I'm still trying to cope with the reality that I am a living lie."
I was the man who never lied.
"My identity as Paladin Danse is nothing but a memory now. Everything I held dear, everything I've ever believed in is completely gone."
Never lied until today.
"I've spent far too long wondering why this happened to me, but the truth is, it doesn't matter. I am a synth… which means I am a freak of nature, a perversion of science and an example of where mankind has gone wrong."
But I just couldn't break your heart…
"For the benefit of humanity, I need to die. Not because I'm cowardly or despondent, but because it's the human thing to do."
...like you did mine yesterday.
"This is Danse, former Paladin of the Brotherhood of Steel, signing off."