Title: K.A.H.S
Pairing(s): Sakura/Neji, Sakura/Gaara, Sakura/ Sasuke
Summary: Konoha Asylum High School, really meant to be Konoha High School, has been having some...problems. Their principal, Tsunade, has been running the school until her cough crazy cough long lost friend Jiraiya shows up at her doorstep. He spray-painted the sign in front of the School, K.H.S into K.A.H.S. To show in a subtle way to his friend that he came back. Jiraiya brought some kids with him too, Sakura, Naruto and Ino to the school. What will happen?
Genre: Humor/Romance...
"I don't own Naruto"- regular speaking
"I don't own Naruto" -Inner Sakura Speaking
'I don't own Naruto' -regular people thinking inside their heads
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto sadly T.T
Chapter One the Meeting
50-year-old Tsunade was pacing back and forth. She couldn't believe it! Jiraiya coming back...trying to convince her that these kids were geniuses! How could she possibly believe him! It was probably some cruel sick joke he was trying to pull...Then again being out of my life for 30 years then coming out of nowhere...nahh.
"How could I possibly think that?" She lightly chuckled to herself, while staring out the window looking down on the campus. "Of course he's pulling my leg...well then I'll go along with this and then I'll shove it in his face! MUWAHAHAHA"
"Um Tsunade-sama, Jiraiya-sama is here..." said Shizune smiled.
"Oh...well send him in! Just don't um..tell him of my somewhat...unoriginaldiabolical plan..."
"Err...Tsunade-sama I think you misunderstood...Jiraiya-sama is...here...beside me. Hehehe funny isn't it?" Shizune was embarrassed at the fantasy she had in her head. Thinking she'd get another laugh for bringing Jiraiya to her. Tsunade wouldn't get mad...but just laugh with her! When...she forgot to knock first, CONSULT Tsunade that a visitor was here, get her approval, and then send the visitor in. But she thought ' what the heck, he has known her practically her entire life...so I thought it would be okay!' Hahaha what a big mistake.
"Shizune, Shizune, Shizune," Tsunade said while shaking her head, still not turning around " ...You did this the WHOLE day yesterday, making fun of me about him coming over, and I told you to stop 'cause it's getting old. Or else..I'll tell the whole school that your on..dun nun nun estrogen and currently going out with the math teacher Iruka ahahhahahhaha that's kinda funny now thatI mention it...Oh yea..um..que flashback to yesterday"
Flashback:
"B-but Tsunade! They are geniuses! They've been with me for 5 years...WITH the approval of their parents, by the way. And they have done nothing but improve! Why won't you believe me?" Jiraiya was on the floor kneeling and begging in front of his life long friend giving his explanation as to why he was here with three kids. Eyes brimming with tears.
"Jiraiya...I'll NEVER believe you...after what you pulled 30-years-ago, I am sure you remember..." her eye twitched "I want him out of my sight! Shizune get him out of my school now in the HARSHEST way possible!" she yelled.
Therefore, Jiraiya was thrown out the window...while his students were led out the door...
End flashback
"Tsunade-sama...I said I'm sorry and I'm not joking, Jiraiya-sama is here! .xx and STOP talking about my relation ship! How is that funny! Using those pills...even YOU use those pills! GRRR... and for your information at least I didn't tell you that we are past second base thank you very much...and thanks to those pills...eeep--!" Shizune blushed at what she just said..and what could have been said.
"Um...Tsunade you never really let me explain what REALLY happened 30 years ago..." Jiraiya said sternly walking up to her.
"Oh...really now, Shizune give me the damn voice changer or I'll--" She finally turned around to see Jiraiya standing there in person very seriously. "Fine Jiraiya explain..."
"OH MY GOD finally, I get to clear my name...come here girl so we can finish this!" He giggled
o.O 'Did he just giggle? And did he just sound...gay? I really don't want to know...'
Jiraiya's explanation:
"Tsunade let's go to my house, I'm pooped! We just graduated aren't you tired?" Twenty-year-old Jiraiya was lugging next to his friend during college, both graduating early.
"Jiraiya...I thought you said we'd have dinner just the two of us, to celebrate our graduation AND our 9 years of friendship? I wanted to ask you something you know."
Jiraiya smirked "Oh don't worry about that Tsunade-chan. We'll defiantly have fun to night with my plans if you know what I mean"
"What do you mean?" Tsunade's eye twitched.
"Huh? Oh nothing...I was just wondering if you wanted to go home and uh...you know--" he gave her his famous eyebrow raising talent to signify the fun they'll have. But before he could finish...
"PERVERT!" she growled and slapped him back to mama's house..., which is in the HIDDEN leaf village.
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Back at Jiraiya's mom's house...
"Mommy can you get me a bowl of chicken soup, Tsunade took my subtle way of implying the party we were going to...into something...something...PERVERTED" he wailed at the offensive comment towards him.
And Tsunade never did find out about that party...which was a blast...cough
End explanation
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"Fine what-ever, they can stay...but if they AREN'T geniuses, then I'll have to kick them out..." Tsunade paused and then she muttered under her breath "worthless piece of shit..."
Since she muttered that last statement...Jiraiya couldn't really hear her but he thought he heard her say something like "worthless shirt"
"W-Whoa Tsunade" Jiraiya put up his hands for defense, "There are children in the room" he paused and inched closer looking side to side trying to see if anyone was going to try and listen...
In the room, everyone was like 'WTF' or like o.O and backed away...but they just waited for this to end so they could get back to their lives...
"Psst...Tsunade..." Jiraiya started whispering, "You can't take off your shirt no matter what you think about your 'sexy' body...you're FIFTY YEARS OLD you can't look sexy...if you took off your shirt...all these people points around the room--" as Jiraiya spoke he got louder and louder, "would start puking cause I mean...you'll probably have like what...saggy boobs?" Jiraiya giggled.
"GRRRRR! DO YOU WANT TO GET STABBED?"
Jiraiya rolled his eyes,"Tsunade trust me...you maybe pretty, but you could never pull it off...and plus you don't even have a knife..haha what a loser!" he giggled again!
"Do you want to say that again?"
He gulped..."N-No...um...never mind!" his voiced squeaked because Jiraiya never wins..which is kind of sad. Poor poor Jiraiya.
"Good...now Shizune get them a dorm room...and figure out some classes for them...I need to have a talk with these kids...Jiraiya? Would you mind getting out?"
"What is with that act of yours?" Jiraiya pointed an accusing finger at her, "Would you just give it a rest? First your happy then your mad then your blah and blah blah blah...if your in a PMSing mood right now just tell everyone Kay?"
"Jiraiya-sama...get out or I'll make you get out!" Yelled Inner-Sakura
"Y-Yes...Sakura" He slowly backed away from the rest of the people and slowly exited the room. "PMSing women are soo troublemsome...grr.."He muttered..now he would just have to be content in listening from the door.
"I'm impressed" Tsunade smirked, "Sakura,was it? Well...tell me about yourself."
"Thank you...um Tsunade-sama?" said person nodded "Well then..."
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"My name is Haruno Sakura...and my hair color IS natural...and I HATE" glances over at Naruto" ramen."
"B-But Sakura-chan...how can you say that about Ramen?" Yes he loves it soo much he just had to capitalize R in Ramen cause Ramen is so awesome d. "You're sick again aren't you, INO get her a cold wash cloth she might start have hot flashes again!"
"BAKA...don't interrupt my monologue! I just said that cause...well...I just don't know...now die!" Sakura and Ino slapped him silly he went unconscious and Tsunade just had to laugh at him.
"Come on fore-head girl...sure...that was fun and all but hurry up and get over your ego-maniac ways...you're being so conceited." Ino said while Sakura glared.
"You shut-up Ino-pig" Ino put her hands on her hips at the insult her so-called best friend made at her. The two girls were about to have a cat-fight when--
"Aww you two girls..." Naruto shook his head while smiling regaining consciousness. The two girls were eyeing each other wearily... but decided to listen to him. "You two have been friends since like forever...and I don't want to be the one who would end it."
"Uh...what are you talking about Naruto?" Ino asked...obviously confused
"Well duh" trying to tell her as if it was the most obvious thing in the world..."You two were fighting for me calling each other names because of my ohh soo sexy body d. Girls don't get upset there's enough of me to go around...but I'm sorry Ino...I probably would have to send you to Jiraiya-sama...cause I don't really think you're all that like you say.."
"Naruto..." Ino started getting really pissed and was about to hit him when--
"Ino, I know that Naruto was just joking...but hey I'm here for you HUG!" Jiraiya said bursting through the door, running to Ino to embrace her.
"Jiraiya, get...OUT OF MY OFFICE YOU PEDOPHILE!" Tsunade yelled, Jiraiya whimpered and went back outside to his post. "Can we just continue...Sakura?"
"Thank you...anyways I'm pretty much perfect, I'm a great athlete, I'm smart, everyone thought I had a cool personality and was really pretty! Also I could do anything." She giggled.
"Oh My God. Would you just shut up" Ino shoves her out of the way and she landed on her butt out the door. "I'm Yamanaka Ino, I'm nice...funny...SMART" she yelled so Sakura could hear, "and I'm an awesome person."
"Um...Thank you Ino...THANKS SAKURA...How about you Naruto?" Tsunade replied.
"I'm Uzumaki Naruto and I love Ramen d yay for Ramen! OH I'm smart!"
"Ino...we have a weird one here don't we..." whispered Tsunade.
"You don't know the half of it..." Ino informed her...wait...did Naruto just say he was...smart? "Naruto did you just say you were...smart"
"Yea, actually I did Ino, are you ugly as well as deaf?" Naruto retorted
"W-What?" Ino and Tsunade stood dumb-founded that Naruto ACTUALLY made a witty come back..."N-Naruto...are you alright?" Ino asked..still shocked.
"Why wouldn't I be? If I wasn't alright I'd be like, dying or something...really"
"Naruto are you...are you really Naruto? Cause the Naruto I know wouldn't have just insulted me...stood there and watched Sakura get kicked out of the room...heard us insult you and you take it...and he would never...EVER say he was smart." Ino deduced.
"Are you really Naruto?" Tsunade asked...trying to contain all this information and keep up with them...
"Uh...cough" Naruto um...yea he coughed.
The three of them sat in silence for a few awkward minutes...not knowing what to do. Ino was trying to figure out if he was REALLY Naruto that she was walking around him in a circle...studying him, Naruto was just trying to inch away from her 'Glad that's not me heh', and she was just sitting in her chair watching this until--
'Wait...why am I just letting them do what I want...and why are they still even here! o.O
"Well...I'll send for three students...to give you each an individual tour around the school...Uh...good-bye now..." The two kids slowly walked away...while Tsunade just sat there...wondering if it was a good idea to let them enroll at this school.
Tsunade smirked...'They're not that bad...'
A.N.: Well this is my first fic...Yup it's pretty boring so far...but I'm working on it...I'm kind of trying to figure out where I want the story to go...but I hope it's going good so far d thanks for reading...if you did. Hope you liked it, but don't worry the next chapter will be better.
They are all in 10th grade by the way
-panda xXx chan