In bed, ill when this popped into my head. I don't know how great it is, but I had to get it down. I know I have a some unfinished stuff on here and I will get around to it, but A Levels are tying me down right now. Oh, and first Castle fic attempt! (And am English so sorry about spellings if there are any.)

Spoilers up to 4x20 The Limey.

"Hey Castle, the suspect is in the box. You coming?" Kate found the writer sat in the break room looking at his phone. He tapped on it a few times and she found herself thinking how wrong he looked sat in a chair in here than on his chair next to her desk as she waited for his reply.

"Sorry, got a lunch date. Next time?"

Kate nodded, attempting to return his tight-lipped smile. It fell off her face as soon as he got up and walked towards the elevator, where the blonde flight attendant greeted him. She watched as they turned and walked away, stopping the look of hurt from crossing her features. Kate looked away and saw that she wasn't the only one watching the 'couple'. Clad in blue scrubs and red hair in a ponytail, Alexis Castle wore a confused look on her face. When the girl's expression changed to upset, Kate acted.

"Hey, Espo." The Hispanic detective turned towards her, apparently she was not the only one to notice the look on the little Castle's face. "Could you take this one? Something just came up." Esposito glanced in Alexis' direction again before nodding.

"I got it."

She thanked him before going over to Alexis, who's head directed to the floor. "Hey, you okay?"

The girl blinked, and looked at the detective with a weak smile. "Dad and I were supposed to have lunch. I guess he forgot."

Kate felt a surge of anger towards the man. Whatever had gotten into him lately she couldn't explain, but once he was upsetting Alexis she knew she had to do something.

Castle had always prided himself on his daughter, and so he should. They had a great relationship and she was a great girl but blowing her off to eat with some woman he'd just picked up of a plane? That was not Castle-behaviour. Even four years ago, when he ruled the society pages as a ladies' man his daughter had always come first.

Kate was going to have words with him when he came back. And he was not going to enjoy what she had to say to him. Not one bit.

The suspect confessed within the hour, so Kate, Esposito and Ryan began to tredge through the necessary paperwork. It wasn't until they had been working for about an hour before Castle returned.

He breezed in and noted each detective with their respective forms. "Have we got the killer?"

Ryan answered, "Yeah, it was the neighbour. Was mad at the victim for keeping him from the daughter."

"Oh, well I guess I'm done for the day. Night guys."

Kate put her paperwork down and spoke. "Actually Castle, can I talk to you a minute?"

"I should probably get going, let you get back to your paperwork." Castle tried to brush her off, but she wouldn't have it.

"It'll only take a minute and I'm pretty much done here."

Ryan and Esposito looked at him, and Castle knew he couldn't escape. So Kate, taking his silence as an agreement, led him to the interrogation room. Inside, she motioned for him to sit down and sat across from him, similar to the way they were when she had interrogated him for the first time all those years ago.

Castle broke the silence first. "So you wanted to talk to me?"

Kate paused a moment, planning her attack before she spoke. "What's going on with you Castle?"

"Nothing." Castle's eyes stayed neutral, all emotion drained from them in a way that made him seem so un-Castle.

"Something is going on Castle. You're acting so strangely, jetting off to Vegas and picking up flight attendents. You've missed interrogations, visits to the morgue, you even missed a visit to a crime scene two days ago. So what is it?"

Castle just sat, not moving from his position and not giving her any indications of what was going on in his head. She could normally read him so well, he was so open with what he normally felt and thought. Now he was holding it all in, he hardly seemed to be the same person.

"Really, nothing is going on. I'm fi-"

She interrupted him, "Rick you are not fine. Something is going on and you need to tell me what it is."

"Nothing is going on Ka-" He stopped. "Beckett. This conversation is pointless."

She didn't miss the change in her name. Normally, using first names was their way of talking seriously. So if he was avoiding using her first name, he was avoiding the conversation. So she switched tactics.

"I saw Alexis earlier." Castle looked at her instantly and for the first time since the bombings, she recognised him in his expression. "She saw you go out to lunch with your date."

Kate was glad when she saw worry on Castle's face. So he did care.

"Apparently you forgot about your lunch with her?"

Castle looked ashamed. "I didn't mean to forget. I mean, oh God." Kate felt some sympathy towards him and softened her tone.

"Castle, you need to talk to me. Whatever's going on I know it has nothing to do with Alexis, but it's affecting her. So you need to resolve this in a way that doesn't hurt her. You need to tell me what's going on. Please." She placed a hand on his shoulder and perched on the desk to face him diagonally.

Castle looked up at her and she saw what he had been hiding from her. What he had been trying to avoid facing since he had stood on the other side of the glass those weeks ago.

"Don't." The venom in his voice made Kate take her hand away from him. "Don't pretend to care about me. You don't have to pretend any more, I get it." He was getting louder and Kate could only watch as he went red in anger. "You don't have to smile and try to involve me all the while keeping me at arm's length. You don't have to keep leading me on anymore Kate!" He heaved a breath before he began flat out yelling at her. "I understand, I really do! You want me to stay because we work well together and I'm your friend! But friends don't lie to each other's faces! Friends don't manipulate you with empty promises and implications! You should have just told me Kate!"

Kate sat stunned as Castle paced the floor in front of her, shouting and not making any sense whatsoever.

"You should have just told me! Then I could have moved on with my life instead of waiting! I've spent seven months waiting for you Kate! You should have just told me that you heard me in the cemetery! You should have told me that you don't love me!"

And there it was. That light bulb moment she had been waiting for. But she could only sit there as her partner continued to scream at her.

"Do you know how long I've waited for you, hoping that you were getting yourself together for us? Kate, do you know how much I wanted this? How can you call yourself my friend and let me think that I stood a chance?" Finally, he looked at her shocked face and stopped yelling. "I'm going to take the rest of the week off, take Alexis up to the summer house. I'll be back on Monday and we can forget that all of this happened."

Kate, regaining her ability of speech, spoke just as he began to walk away. "What made you think that I don't love you?"

He sighed. "Kate, please. Please don't do this to me. If I can't have you please let me get over you." He started walking again, but she took hold of his upper arm to stop him.

"But I do love you." Finally it was out there.

Silence.

Part two just coming up :-)