A/N - Before you read, this is only an excerpt from something I been playing with. I always been a huge Grey's Anatomy fan and have a couple of favorite stories on here but never wrote one myself. I know there's not a lot of Avery/Edwards fans so bear with me. I really just want feedback, I been writing this for awhile now, and I have a lot of chapters, I just been scared to post it. So please read, tell me what you think and I would love to post the full story, if I have a few steady followers.

Excerpt Begins:

"Where would we be right now if we never went to that wedding?" it was just a question just like any other question they would ask each other after mind blowing sex. Like what if you couldn't be a surgeon anymore or what would you do if someone held the one you loved at gun point. They were deep questions to coax them into revealing a piece of their soul to each other. She loved those questions, because now Jackson knew her, better than anyone. They made her smile as she opened herself up to him and he did the same in return. But that question did not make her smile, it almost made her cringe. And even though he was right next to her under the sheets where she could feel his warmth and his steady fingers on her bare back she felt like he was a mile away. She sighed, her eyes closing and bit her lip as she thought of what to say.

"Don't do that."

"Do what?" His brow furrowing in confusion.

"You were in love with April. Will always love April."

"Just like you will always love Kyle?" Her heart clenched, she knew it wasn't an accusation, it was a fact. He said it like he understood but he would never understand that. Her feelings for Kyle will never go away, he was ghost that lingered and followed her wherever she went. She couldn't regret loving him but damn she wish she hadn't. It's different to have been with someone, love them, and choose to no longer be with them but still have the possibility of seeing them. But to have love someone and they were taken from you, just when everything was good, never spotting them in public or receiving a 'hey stranger' text in your phone, never to actually be able to hope for some contact, created a void. There will always be a void for him, a void she cannot fill with love or hatred or anger or sadness. Can you even still love someone that no longer exists? She wasn't sure but she remembered him, his soulful eyes, callous hands, and musical laugh, the way it felt to kiss him, how he tasted, she will never forget.

"Yes, just like that."

"We're a mess." She had to laugh at that because they were, even though this scene from the outside looking in looked beautiful and sexy it was anything but. It was almost sad but then again nothing was as it seemed

"No we are perfect." And she meant it because the only other place she really wanted to be no longer existed and was out of her reach forever.

"Can you love me even though you still love him?"

"I already do," she whispered almost brokenly, a tear escaping her eyes but not his as he wiped it away, "And I'm so scared Jackson." Her chest heaved at the thought of loving him after what happened and how wrong it felt. How dangerous it was to love him. His fingers moved into her dark curls pulling her closer and she gripped onto him for protection, hoping he was a safe haven from the hurt.

"Don't be scared, I love you Stephanie, I am in love with you. I only asked those questions because I think you doubt me and I don't want you to. I need you to know I am here for you. I'll always be with you."

And that stupid, little voice in the back of her head, the one that ruins everything and reminds her of the awful void inside her chimes in and whispers, He's a liar. She buried her face in his neck and nodded.