[Sword Art Online: Powerless]

Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Sword Art Online, nor am I attempting to profit off this work of art.

[Arc I - Prologue]

Chapter 1: Enter Aincrad

-2022 November 6th 12:57-

-Brandon's Hotel Room-

A glance at the clock reminded me that I was just minutes away from the launch of the greatest game of all time, and also the first [Virtual Reality Massive-Multiplayer Role-Playing Game] (VVRMMO for short) to date. Over the last couple days, I had already made sure to have my [Nerve Gear] calibrated properly. The only problem was...

"Why the hell does time have to slow down at this exact moment?! Don't fuck with me!" I damn-near shouted at the nearby clock. Okay, so undeniably anyone nearby would have thrown in their two cents to verify the shout, but little details are best left ignored. I knew not whether the defective device heeded my aggressive call, though considering the clock hadn't jumped a minute yet, I assumed it was testing me. 'Well, I won't be beaten by some damn clock!'

Now, I must admit I don't normally go around shouting at inanimate objects (Truth), but with the coming event, my nerves had been frisky for the past couple hours. I had specifically woken up early just to double-check everything, as any outside help was rather limited. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if there were only a handful of others originally from outside of the Japanese province that actually managed to get their hands on a copy as well. Thanks to my connections, I was practically guaranteed one as long as I went and picked it up myself, although after finding out that the game's server was only accessible in Japan, I turned the trip into an extra-long holiday to ensure I enjoyed it fully.

The initial set-up though was highly unorthodox and I had to tip-toe my way through at first, until I managed to snag some help via an online guide. Although, why one of the steps had me touch myself in unnecessary places... I hope to never find out. Now, people may argue that travelling to Japan just to pick up a copy and then staying for even longer just to play might seem a tad overzealous, especially after paying extra to make sure I'd make it safely in time to catch the game's birth, but in all honesty, I wasn't that excited.

Sure, I may have taken the time to perfect my Japanese to ensure I'd be able to actually communicate with the other players, and I may have thrown myself into SAO discussions once or twice to ensure I had some prior knowledge but still! Anyone in my shoes would have done the same!

'Oh, it's working! Only two more minutes now!' It would seem my stare-down with the clock was producing healthy results; now, I just had to maintain my position for another minute longer and everything would be alright! 'Must... not... blink...' Alas, my opposition proved to be too worthy a foe and my eyes closed after some rather pathetic interference via floating dust, invoking much swearing and further heated glares at the bane of my existence. 'I think this game just might be making me insane... Oh wait, I already am insane. Hah!'

Damn, now I'm losing it even in my head. I entertained the thought of looking for some professional help after my first gaming session, eliciting many (manly) giggles from my person at the thought of corrupting some poor psychiatrist. Luckily, my thoughts were thrown aside as my bane went off in a chatter; its alarm infecting my hotel room with its horrid melody. It was definitely the icing on the cake as my fist came down harshly on the cheap plastic, ending its feeble existence.

'...Definitely some professional help after this.' After nodding sagely at my remarkable wit, I donned my shiny, expensive helmet and dispensed my body onto my extravagant bed to await the last thirty seconds 'till my sending. For once, it would seem that time was finally on my side as the last thirty seconds came to a swift end, and with a possibly over-the-top shout of "Link Start!," my vision became bathed in obnoxious color. Multiple checks of my senses passed in what I would deem seconds and without further ado, I was brought to the [Login Screen].

Considering I wasn't a [Beta Tester], one of the lucky thousand chosen to participate in the [Beta] of this game, I didn't already have an account so I was forced to spend a couple minutes creating one. Upon finishing, I logged in and was brought to the next step, the [Character Creation]. 'This could take a while...' I must admit that on every game I've played up to this date, the most strenuous part had been creating a character up to my standards. Being known by some lame avatar, especially in this game made me uneasy. 'This would be so much easier if they just let me use myself...'

It took me ten minutes; ten whole minutes to create an avatar that I still didn't find note-worthy in the least. Sure, it bore some similarities with myself, but definitely not enough to salvage the situation. Then again, some of the seemingly advanced controls didn't really make sense to me, so I left those alone, which was probably why my character looked so horrible. The slim, and by that I mean border-line unhealthy, avatar had brown, curly hair and a pair of sharp, green eyes. My first instinct for my [Character Name] was to use my own nick-name, but considering that an insult, I instead used my real name, Brandon, which I wasn't too fond of. 'Well, I guess that'll have to do.'

After one final assurance to the system, an err... horribly bland message of "Welcome to Sword Art Online!" popped into my vision. 'You'd think just with total sales and the game's engine being so unique, they could at least come up with some over-the-top design for an intro... Definitely not a good first impression.' Unfortunately or fortunately depending on the masses' point of view, my thoughts were brought to a halt with an instant fade-in of blue streams, followed by what appeared to be glass shattering. After that... my vision became blurred, or perhaps narrowed would be more spot-on.

"Now they can't even create a full field of vision, geez. What's next; swords that inflict lethal paper cuts?" I muttered under my breath. I'm sure others could have heard me if they actually cared, considering I wasn't really bothering to ensure my volume was within manageable levels, but instead the players nearby were all roaring about in pure ecstasy, perhaps confirming that this truly was all real. (Now, I will point out that after this point, I will be speaking in Japanese, so any of you, readers who don't yet understand the language should probably buy a book to translate. Did you enjoy that joke? Fine, fine. I suppose I could continue writing in English; just be sure to comprehend the fact that my actual dialogue is supposedly in Japanese to amuse your petty selves.)

A quick look down at myself verified that I truly was outfitted in the highly unselective beginner's armor from the [Character Creation]. In fact, the only modifiable traits about the set was a few different color selections, in which I heavily regarded neutral tones, and a meager choice of short, long, and no sleeves. I went with the sleeveless just to possibly show some slight definition in the arms, but considering my character's pathetic build, they were as smooth as a grape. 'This sucks... slim as a stick and not an ounce of fashion sense. This game will be the death of me. Well, first things first then; new clothes!'

Searching through the city for the next half-hour proved to be tedious at best as I discovered the first flaw in my research; that being I had no idea where the hell anything was! The [NPC] vendors' shops were all lined with nothing but [Weapons] as far as I could tell, and every single establishment I had passed thus far seemed to be vacant. Sure, I could understand a majority of them being designated later as player's residences, but the fact that there wasn't a single clothing store around was a huge let-down. Perhaps this was an attempt to advise players to focus on [Trade Skills]? 'Meh, it's just another box on the list of things to do.'

Another key piece of information that certainly would've been helpful to know about before-hand was the lack of any starting currency. Sure, I had considered the possibility, but with players currently flocking around the vendors like a pack of rats, it made the situation all the more confusing. I was pretty sure that all of us only possessed the beginner's armor and our choice between a [Shortsword] and a [Hunting Knife] after all. They were meager choices for sure, but with the vendors offering their large amounts of varied [Weapons] at humble prices, it wasn't a difficult problem to fix.

Putting my long-winded thoughts aside, I decided to instead head out to the surrounding field and test out some combat. Even after reading constantly about the [Motion Input], a first-person experience could only be further advantageous. Thankfully, I had already passed an exit during my exploration, so it wasn't hard to re-locate. Upon exiting, a quick message flashed across my vision, stating [Floor 01 - Frenzy Plains], which I quickly deduced was my current location.

A little bit of wandering was all it took before I came across my first enemy, a [Frenzy Boar]. Unsheathing my weapon choice, the [Shortsword], I toyed around with different weapon positions, trying to find a correct one to activate the [Motion Input]. Eventually, one of my stances was rewarded as my weapon started unleashing an ethereal glow. When I felt it had reached its potential, I let it rip, sending my body soaring towards the nearby creature rather unexpectedly, where I barely managed to deliver a clean overhead strike to its side in time, causing a long, angry red scar ('Paper cuts, really...') to appear.

In a last-dish attempt at revenge, the boar leapt at me, probably hoping to get in a quick hit while I was suffering the small delay from the [Sword Skill]. Although later I would never admit to being worried about getting stabbed by those horribly sharp tusks, the experience certainly didn't come off as all that appealing, so as soon as I felt the delay wear off, I brought my sword back around quickly to end the poor mammal with a basic attack.

In a beautiful display, reminiscent to fireworks made of glass being set off in someone's face, the boar erupted and a [Rewards Message] appeared stating [Experience] and [Col], followed by [Items]. I wasn't sure if the [Experience] and [Col] amount were all that great, but the [Frenzy Boar Meat] and [Frenzy Boar Tusks] had me grinning at my success. Although a lot of [Beta Testers] had complained about the difficulty of the [Motion Input] and the correct timing of the [Sword Skills], I couldn't say it was all that hard. 'Perhaps I've just played too many games.'

Leaping into combat with another boar, I decided on another course of attack. After seeing the damage of the [Sword Skill], I wondered how effective regular attacks were, considering the damage from my last attack was difficult to accurately judge. Considering just how pathetic the boars were, it only took four attacks to put one down for good, and with their underwhelming attack scripts, I managed to dance around its efforts easily. Scanning the [Rewards Message] again proved the [Items] must have been common, since I got both once again.

Over the next thirty minutes, I tested for any other [Sword Skills], managing to find some basic ones that didn't even have much of a penalty to them, showing just how unnecessary regular attacks were for the most part. Other than that, I even found that rocks had their own [Motion Input], which I amused myself greatly with by pelting boars constantly with the projectiles. There wasn't much to note about the [Rewards], considering the common drops stayed true and the [Experience] and [Col] were probably worthless. Though, the [Frenzy Boars] were simple in the first place, so I suppose at least that much made decent sense.

'Perhaps it would be best to just move on already. I doubt I'll really miss anything important here, and it's not like I won't be able to just turn around and come back.' Deciding that as the best course, I figured I'd pay one last visit to the [Starting City] to check the price on my spoils, as well as obtain a greater sense of monetary value in this game. After all, it would be nice to know if an hour's worth of hunting even boars could actually say, afford a weapon or something.

Walking back into the city, I quickly made my way to one of the [NPC] vendors and attempted to sell my [Loot]. Unfortunately the [Frenzy Boar Meat] didn't go for well... anything whatsoever. The [NPC] was like a broken record, constantly trying to remind me that it was far too easy to obtain and that he wouldn't offer a price for it. His argument didn't grant much merit however, when he offered to buy my [Frenzy Boar Tusks]. 'Of course, because tusks are so much harder to get! How could I have forgotten such a thing?!'

Regardless of my rapidly-increasing desire to pound some sense into the illogical [NPC], I decided to part ways with the [Frenzy Boar Tusks] at the very least, figuring I could just hang on to the meat for some [Cooking] experimentation. My set of twelve tusks went for [360 Col], more than doubling the funds I had gained from the initial boar-slaughtering. As quickly as I thought this was a decent amount, a quick look at the price of some of the [Items] on display set me back some. 'Oi, oi! [Starter Potions] are [500 Col] each?! Hell, even the weapons here are cheaper! There better be some decent ways to make some money later 'cuz this is ridiculous!'

Perusing the [Weapons] turned up nothing decent, at least nothing that I'd really consider regarding my own tastes. I had never found any mention of my favorite weapon existing in this game from any of the [Beta Testers] before, so I was starting to run out of hope. Quite eloquently put, I wanted a damn scythe! Sure, they had their flaws much like any other weapon, but come on! Scythes are awesome! Just imagine becoming drenched in the blood of your latest conquests as you walk over their fresh corpses, wielding the most fearsome weapon ever to grace this World! Okay, maybe the blood would be a little impossible in this game of lethal paper-cuts and the mental image highly unnecessary, but still! I want a scythe!

I must have been making some rather unsightly expressions while lost in my euphoric thoughts about the overall bad-assity of the unholy sickles, as even the [NPC] nearby was looking at me funny, while constantly shying further away. Returning to reality if only to scour around for the elusive [Weapon], I ran around quickly looking through wares, trying to find my calling. But... 'Why are there no scythes?! Is this World conspiring against me?! No, wait! There's only one person who could possibly plot such a dangerous scheme. Damn you, Kayaba!'

It was at that point in time when an impossibility, or at least what I would assume was an impossibility, occurred; my stomach growled, and rather deafeningly at that. If the situation was any different, I might have considered apologizing for creating a scene, but my thoughts instead drifted to the realism the [Nerve Gear] presented and made this World. I mean, was I actually hungry or was the head-piece just simulating that my avatar required nourishment? I had no idea how to tell besides sate my appetite, so swiping my pointer and middle finger in an over-exaggerated manner that many [Beta Testers] had bashed constantly, my [Main-Menu] popped into existence.

Skimming over the choices, which listed [Inventory/Equipment], [Friends/Guild], [Message/Chat], [Map/Quests], and [Settings/Main-Menu], I clicked on the last option which should have been where the [Logout] button resided, but instead there was only a blank tab. Clicking it rewarded me with nothing, so instead I pushed [Help] which instantly alerted me that it was attempting to call the [Game-Master] or [GM] for short. I waited a few minutes since they were probably busy, already trying to fix the problem, but after no reply came whatsoever, I grew a tad worried. 'This could be a problem...'

Just the fact that there was no announcement yet was a horrible signal, considering there were undoubtedly others that had things to do back in their actual lives, so this should have obviously been rated a top-priority fix. Just forcing every player to log out until they could fix the menu would work too, but yet nothing had happened yet. Something was going on here. 'Okay, let's try to get some things straight. First, the [GM] isn't taking action, even though this is something that could probably be fixed in a couple minutes. Thus, the best-case scenario is that the [GM] is currently asleep. Err... worst-case scenario...'

Honestly, I didn't know what to think if the worst-case scenario came to fruition. As much as the idea sounded wonderful to play this intense game forever, there were a number of problems that could arise if that actually came true. For example! I'm in here for more than a few days without my body receiving any actual sustenance and I slowly succumb to death. Or maybe or a more hilarious outcome, such as for some unknown reason, especially coincidentally at this point in time, a gang of thugs break in to my domain and use me as their sex-toy while I'm off slapping boars. Yes, that would definitely be hilarious... Okay, maybe not. 'Damn, perhaps this is affecting me a bit more than I had thought it would; I'm clearly going insane!... Keep forgetting, am already insane.'

Now being super manly as I undoubtedly was (Truth), I shrugged my depressing thoughts aside with the strength of a thousand-and-one suns and figured I'd just test out the [Cooking] on this game and hope that it would quell any sort of hunger my original body currently possessed. Although, that sparked another problem to arise. 'Where the hell do I even cook at?!' And with that as my last thought, I took off once more to explore the immense city, hoping to finally track down at least one item on my to-do list.

-Chapter One: Clear-

A.N.: If you enjoy my humor, then you should probably stop yourself from reading any further; I'm not trying to entertain you. (Truth)

A.N.: At the rate I'm currently proceeding, I'm sure at least one out of the two of my readers (True Fans, yo) can tell this story is going to be absolutely massive. In which case, don't worry. Chapter 2 will feature a time-skip to the 60th Floor, so I'll be able to wrap this up soon. Wait, that might not be a good idea. B-but I'd make sure to bring up a long flash-back spanning over 500 chapters to catch you all up! Okay, so there won't be any kind of time-skip in this story, as I love to detail anything and everything; you'll just have to deal.

A.N.: Most chapters will be around 3,000 words long, unless the general theme presented is overly abundant, in which case look forward to your 3,001-word limited-edition sequels. I'm sure you can't keep it in your pants at this point, so I'll let you all be on your way. Enjoy the second chapter that's undoubtedly, already up at this point. Bahaha!