"Lovi? Estas ahí? Please answer me..."
I clutch the phone in my hands, my grip crushing the damn plastic and leaving dents on its cheap surface. Who the fuck does this bastard think he is?
"Lovi please... It's for the best."
I heard a sigh from the other side after he said those words. For the best? Fuck that, what does he know about what's best for me?! I want to slap him, to strangle him, to kiss him, to hold him, to make him see sanity and what he was doing to me… But instead I am just barely able to utter a single word.
"O… Okay…"
I gulp softly, at once regretting the word and trying to let the realization of what I had just agreed to sink in.
"Believe me Lovi, you need this. It will be good for you; you'll be a better man because of it. Don't worry, we can still be friends!"
Fuck that.
"And who knows? When we see each other again, maybe we can get back together. When you've grown up and have learned some things."
Like hell you damn bastard.
"And I just want you to know hon… Te amo tanto mi corazón. I'm doing this for you."
I can hear his sickening, beautiful, hopeful smile through the phone and I can't hold it in anymore. A sob escapes my throat, the dam slowly breaking down.
"Hey, I have to go now hon. Bye Lovi! You will be okay; I know it. I promise."
The unmistakable click rang in my ears as the phone drops out of my hand and falls against the linoleum floor. Okay, he says? I'll be fucking okay..? What the hell?! No. I couldn't take it anymore. My back slides against the wall until my body softly makes contact with the floor.
This is it. Three years of my life, of my love, gone. Bam. Just like that. Three years of opening myself up and letting this bastard in and giving him everything finally meant nothing. And why? Just because he thinks there is something wrong with me, because we are far away, because... I can't even think about the last one without broken sobs ripping through my throat and escaping in a frenzy of emotion. I've lost the only person that cared, the only person that I have ever let in, and for compensation he took half of my damn bleeding heart with him.
And suddenly I feel like I can't breathe, my chest heaves as water runs down my tanned cheeks in rivers and horrible little gasping noises escape my throat.
"Damn you!" I scream out in pain. "Damn you to fucking hell! I don't need you or your shit!" Then why do I feel like this? I ask myself. Why do I feel relief? Not the good kind of relief, but more of an unwanted freedom, the kind that feels more like slavery; where if feels like your heart had been removed from your chest. No, this shouldn't be happening! That damn lying bastard! My hands clench into fists as the tears feel harder.
It is at that moment that I wish I had never met Antonio Fernandez Carreido and his fucking contagious smile, his damn his voice, his stupid ass way of cheering me up, his lame encouragement and the… The way he perfectly loved me...
But I'm probably confusing you nosy bastards, huh? I'll start at the beginning