Tracing Through the Constellations: Stardust, space travel, defying the laws of astrophysics! Take this interstellar journey with Santana Lopez as she tries to figure out what the hell just happened when she is taken aboard a spaceship, captained by no one other than Rachel freaking Berry. Pezberry/Faberry. Inspired by Mr. Douglas Adams' Hitchhiker series.
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Introduction
Let me be frank with you: this is not a love story, though there is much romance in its content. It a retelling of a space exploration, which for the first time is being put to ink. There are no show tunes. But there are aliens, however, life-forms from galaxies far from your own in terms of distance and cultures. It is a story of possibility and impossibility; of love and deceit and other dreadful things like that. This is the true account of these events.
And it begins now.
It begins with one heavenly white streak of stardust across the interstellar voids of the universe.
One intelligent ray which appears across the planet Earth's sky – a largely unintelligible rock, located approximately ninety-two million, nine hundred fifty-five thousand, eight hundred eighty-seven miles away from the nearest solar sun. Mind you, this is a relatively short distance for your average space traveler.
Outside the main route to Lima, Ohio, Santana Lopez - a feisty girl of average stature, average build, average rank and slightly higher-than-average intelligence - is too busy texting her girlfriend (who happens to be at summer camp) to notice that incredible streak of white stardust. But this is just as well.
For while Ms. Lopez plays an important role in the events that would transpire in the next the forty-eight hours, she is not the subject of this recount of events.
No, our story focuses on another girl on the opposite side of town, who was at this moment, re-calibrating a mechanized telescope to scope the galaxy - the ocean of stars which loomed above. A girl who, though by most means was slightly less than ordinary (in terms of stature, build and rank,) had a sharp mind and keen eyesight to boot.
When that extraordinary stripe of white dust shone across the computerized screen connected to her super telescope, Rachel Berry bounded for her sketchpad. Frantically, she sketched the outline of the glistening, almost-silver band that had spanned the extent of the small planet's sky. White bits of hot ash flittered to the ground. Thoughtlessly, she extended a hand to catch the bits of burning molecular space debris.
Upon contact this material would have burned right through the flesh of the humanoid life forms that populated the third ever-drifting rock from the sun.
Rachel Berry, however, was not from this planet.
So instead, the matter sparkled, glimmered, and glistened in the palm of her hand, before bursting into one quick puff of whitish smoke. She grinned, placing that same hand against her cheek, enjoying its warmth – which would have been agonizing for any other so-called "carbon-based life-forms" – against her skin. She glanced at the sketch she had perfectly recreated in a matter of seconds, ecstatic.
Yes, this was it.
That burning, sliver-white stardust was only used by a few space engines in the nearest twelve Solar systems - this had to have come from be her ship.
By now, of course, as your narrator through the cosmos, I'm sure I've thoroughly confused you enough. So let me shed some light on this mindboggling predicament by starting off with this:
The person known as Rachel Berry never truly existed. It had simply been the name this former space traveler had chosen for herself some thirteen years ago, upon being stranded in the dullest corner of the universe, upon the dullest planet in the dullest corner, known as Earth.
And unfortunately, this Universe is a big, big, emphasis on [big] place for a starship to navigate through in search of one tiny starship captain.
Until now, that is.
Rachel ripped the sketch from the notepad and shoved it diligently into a black, leathery satchel she had propped next to her fathers' telescope (they were holograms really, but no one seemed to notice due to the whole 'social isolation' thing). No, no one seemed to even want to meet them until that 'boyfriend' of hers, decided to propose.
And of course, she had to say yes to that. That is, the wedding and the debacle with meeting her parents. After all, she had to maintain the appearance of normalcy. So instead, she summoned the holograms – though they look near nothing like the photo booth images she had plastered to the instead of her locker some three years ago. Finn, at least didn't notice.
And that was the beauty of having him as a 'boyfriend'.
She wondered if he would miss her after she left this planet. Reaching into her satchel of many assorted goods, Rachel fished out a primitive Earthean telecommunication device and typed with dexterous fingers. It was a simple message, she decided this was best: Dear Finn, I'm breaking up with you. Feel free to not call me. -Sincerely Rachel.
She frowned. It was cordial, alright. Brief, to the point, but honest in intention. So what exactly was keeping her from pressing that measly SEND button?
Perhaps, it was simply protocol, she decided. Yes, if several years on this planet had taught her anything about the manners and customs of Eartheans, it was that when breaking bad news to someone it was customary to actually be there to potentially offer said person a hot beverage upon receiving this awful, soul-crushing news.
"Oh, yes." She congratulated herself on reaching this conclusion, convinced that she had finally gotten a hang of human customs. "Tomorrow, then."
Tomorrow, she would end this cover-relationship with Finn Hudson, then contact the enterprise and board the airship that could finally take her back to the endless bounds of deep space.
She would need a sack lunch in light of this endeavor.
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A/N: If you like, then feel free to drop a comment in the reviews.