Dear Sirius,
I suppose this is silly, to write a letter to you. But I just don't really know what to do anymore. I have trouble remembering that you're gone – truly gone this time. I never felt this way all that time you were imprisoned, but it's different now in every way.
I find myself getting angry at you, like it was your choice to die. So I apologize for that, since it obviously wasn't. It's just that you left me all alone. I'm the last Marauder now, Sirius.
You must remember how it felt when James and Lily died. Well, this is that all over again, but worse, because now both of my best friends are dead. That feels so weird to say. Dead. You are dead. It's so hard to wrap my head around, yet I obviously understand it because I keep feeling so emotional.
Damn it, Sirius, I just can't – I can't take much more. It appears as if the entire world is deteriorating around me and there's nothing I can do about it.
When you got out of Azkaban, and I realized you were innocent, it was amazing because I wasn't alone anymore. Of course, I was never truly alone, but you and James and Pete knew me better than anyone. And now, so soon, you've gone and left me. Again.
But, anyway, I guess I shouldn't be complaining so much. I'm the one who got to live. So I must be pretty lucky, huh? I'm trying my best to make it through everything these days. It was certainly not the most opportune time for you to die. There it is again. You're dead. It is so strangely hard for that to register in my mind.
I suppose I should go now... This didn't really help as much as I thought it would. I guess my mind is just too cloudy right now for it to function properly.
I just want you to know that I'll forever think of you as my best friend, and I will never allow myself to forget you... Goodbye for now, Padfoot.