The walk back from Callbacks is tense. There is no tender hand-holding or warm conversation; only silence as they walk, inches apart, breathing in the evening New York City air.
Both of them know that, tonight, they're going to break up. The unspoken agreement hangs in the air around them, and neither of them wants to acknowledge it – not yet, not now – and they're both dreading the time when they'll have to face it.
Kurt doesn't know the exact reason why Blaine started crying so hard as he sang Teenage Dream. He doesn't know his boyfriend cheated on him; he's not fully aware of how lonely Blaine has been of late. He does recognize, however, the change in atmosphere between the two of them since he left for New York. And it feels wrong to him, now – they don't feel like Kurt and Blaine anymore.
He wants to say something – anything – to Blaine, to resolve this and to make them both happy again, but he's aware that this is beyond repair. Without really being conscious of it, the beginning of a song escapes from him, his eyes still trained on the ground as he sings sweetly:
Sour candy endings…
Coffee stained, but aware.
Oh, I'm so tangled up in my big sunglasses.
I am bed hungry, second-day fair.
Blaine's head snaps up, then, alarmed. His voice joins Kurt's, but neither of them can bring themselves to look at the other.
No! We went under.
The weight was too much to carry,
And I felt the thunder,
Mr, don't look so scared.
I never knew, I never knew,
That I could be so sad.
We went under.
This time, it's Blaine who sings alone, and Kurt quietly listens to the pain in his boyfriend – ex-boyfriend? – 's voice, fighting back the tears.
I've been very cautious,
Trying numbness instead of pain.
Well, your humour makes me… makes me nauseous.
What a twisted, twisted game.
Just then, Kurt cuts into the song, singing with more emotion than Blaine's ever seen – even more than he did singing Blackbird almost two years ago. Tears are now streaming down his face, and his delicate voice breaks a few times In a beautiful but painful way.
Oh, get yourself home.
And leave him alone.
On second thought, I regret the pink stiletto,
Oh, oh…
"Look," he tells Blaine, after wiping his tears by himself and composing himself enough. "Please stop pretending that there's nothing wrong."
X X X
Later the next day, after Blaine's plane has gone back to Lima, and he's sitting in his room – alone, because he knows Rachel feels just as broken as him because of Finn and is doing the exact same thing – he looks at a picture of Blaine, one he marked with a sticky note when he was packing up his room for New York many months ago. Back then, he wasn't sure where they stood, because Kurt had cheated on Blaine by sending flirty texts with Chandler. Their relationship had been tense then, but Blaine had actually forgiven Kurt.
Could Kurt forgive Blaine, though? After he'd hooked up with another guy? He wondered that himself as he gazed at the picture, singing softly.
Sour candy endings…
And I was barely even there.