Difficult to Deal With
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So for lack of a better title, I have named this Difficult to Deal With. This takes place right after 'What Friends are For'. And it's angst. Again. That's all I've been writing lately, isn't it?
Disclaimer – I own Rayne, Lizzie, Kay and Alex. All others do not belong to me.
Weeks had passed since Kay's revelation at Gale's party. It seemed that absence really did make the heart grow fonder. Kay had proof of that now, since she didn't see Gale as much as she used to, with Gale's training as a Guardian, and the classes she still managed to take at the college. Not seeing Gale was even worse than keeping her feelings quiet.
When she did see Gale, everything got better. Gale, being the optimistic person she was, was always smiling. It seemed, however, when Kay especially was with the older girl, Gale's smiles were brighter, and were just for her.
When Kay asked Gale about this, Gale just responded, "Of course! I mean, who wouldn't smile more, when hanging out with one of their best friends?" And then she had given Kay one of those smiles.
Sitting outside that day, eating her lunch, Kay closed her eyes, and cringed. 'Arrow to the heart', she thought. Gale just had to remind her of her title.
Best friend.
She couldn't jeopardize that. Not for anything.
But with every passing day, it got harder and harder not to tell Gale. With every little gesture, touch, smile, and word between them, Kay was...dare she say it? Falling harder than she ever thought she would. It wasn't a crush. At least...not anymore.
Later on that day, Kay couldn't keep her feelings to herself that more. But she wasn't ready to tell Gale. So, that conversation ended up going to two others, who would help Kay's decision for the better.
"Mom..." The young redhead had began, fiddling with her bed covers awkwardly.
"Yes, Kay?"
"Um...well...I need to talk to you about something..."
"Oh!" Rayne suddenly exclaimed, making Kay jump. She slapped her hand to her forehead. "I swear I've given you this talk before..."
Rayne took on a serious look. "Now Kay, I'll go over the basics. When a mommy and a daddy love each other very much (or, a mommy and a mommy, in our case), they give each other-"
"It's not about that!" Kay cried, suddenly turning the same colour as her hair. "It's about...my friend."
"Your friend?" Rayne arched an eyebrow, assuming the worse. Hopefully Kay hadn't had another violent spat with some friend she had at school. Being the daughter of some of the Guardians of Lore, Kay had picked up a thing or two about fighting. She knew that this couldn't be about Sage, Alex, or Gale; Kay had never, ever fought with them.
"Yeah...my friend. You see, she has suddenly..." Kay trailed off.
"Died? Turned traitor? Gotten pregnant? Run off with a person who is thrice her age and probably will kill her in the next 3 months right after he-"
"MOM!"
"Sorry, sorry, just trying to be helpful." Rayne shrugged.
"Well...you weren't. And no, it's none of that. You see, my friend had recently...fallen for her best friend." She rushed the last part. Something inside Rayne's mind clicked. Maybe this did have something to do with Sage, Gale and Alex after all.
"Continue." Rayne said. She propped up a fist, and rested her chin on it, gazing at Kay seriously.
Kay, used to this level of scrutiny, did as Rayne told her to. "And, this friend of mine has absolutely no idea how she should deal with these feelings."
"Well..." Rayne closed her eyes in thought. "How do you know this isn't just a simple cru-"
"It's not." Kay breathed. Rayne opened her eyes, and switched her position, now resting her chin on her interlaced fingers. "It's not?"
"It's definitely not." Kay confirmed. "Because every single time that she smiles at me, it's as if I'm the greatest person alive. Every single time she touches me, I swear I could melt. Even when we're just talking, I feel as if I could die happy, right then and there." She noticed the odd, inquiring look on Rayne's face. "That's what my friend told me." She added in quickly. Much too quickly, in fact.
"I see..." Rayne shifted once more, and crossed her arms. "Well, how come your friend won't just confess and get it over with?"
"She can't." Kay murmured.
"And why not?"
"My friend can't tell my other friend about these feelings, because it'll probably never work out. And, if she does tell, this could ruin their friendship forever."
Rayne caught a glimpse of Kay's eyes, before her daughter turned them downcast. Rayne had had a good idea of what this was about after Kay's little description, but her suspicions had been confirmed only after seeing that little flash of emotion. Rayne knew that look too well; she had had it herself, many years ago.
"Kay..." Kay heard some shuffling noises, and her mother's weight pressed down on the bed, closer to her this time. Next thing she knew, she was sitting in Rayne's lap. Rayne rested her cheek on Kay's head, and soothingly stroked at her hair. For that moment, Kay felt as if she were a little girl again.
"I know it hurts. But you know what? I'm going to tell you a story. Is that alright?" Rayne waited, until she felt the slight nod of Kay's head.
"Once upon a time, there was a girl named...Avery."
"Avery?" Kay asked, her eyes flicking upwards, to look at Rayne. Rayne shushed her.
"That's what I said, didn't I? Anyways, Avery was best friends with another girl named...Eliza."
"What kind of a name is Eliza?" Kay scoffed. Rayne rolled her eyes, and shushed Kay once again.
"Now, Avery and Ellie were the best of friends. But after a while, Avery started to have more than friendly feelings towards Eliza."
"And Avery wanted desperately to tell Eliza how she felt. But she couldn't. Do you know why?"
"Because she was afraid that if she told, Eliza might hate her." Kay said quietly, sympathizing completely with the story character.
"Exactly. So one day, Eliza went off on a special errand for someone, while Avery stayed behind. And while Eliza was gone, another girl ended up liking Avery. So Avery and her friends came up with a plan of action for what to do about it. And when they were discussing..." Rayne trailed off.
"What?" Kay craned her neck upwards, straining to look Rayne in the eye. "What happened when they were discussing?"
Rayne grinned. "No snarky comments? By now, you would have stopped me at least ten times."
Kay scowled. "I want to hear the story."
"Fine, fine." Rayne waved her off. "Anyways, when they talked about how to deal with this girl, Avery learned that everyone knew about her 'supposedly' secret love for Eliza." Kay laughed then, and Rayne couldn't help but grin.
"But when her friends asked her why she didn't confess, Avery said some of the things that you said. She said that she couldn't tell her. Because the friendship between them would be completely ruined. So, the next day, Avery was once again stuck with the girl who liked her. But you know what happened?"
"What?" Kay asked, completely captivated, just like how Rayne's other stories did.
"A voice said, out of nowhere 'I'm sorry, but she's taken.' And out of the blue, Eliza jumped into Avery's arms, and said to the other girl, that she was Avery's girlfriend. After the girl went away, Avery asked Eliza how she knew that the girl was bothering her. Eliza just said that she had overheard them the night before. And she also said...that she loved Avery too. And so they confessed, and lived happily ever after."
"That's a nice story mom." Kay smiled, snuggling into Rayne. But her smile faded. "But there's the point; it's just a story. That will never happen with me."
"But who says it's just a story?" A voice laughed. Kay looked to her doorway, to see Lizzie, grinning at both of them. Kay frowned. "What do you mean by that?"
Lizzie sat down next to both of them. "Your mom never said that it was a made up story."
Kay's eyes widened a bit, and she moved out of Rayne's lap, and sat down in the space between Lizzie and Rayne. "It...It's true?"
Both Lizzie and Rayne nodded.
"But...who is it about then?"
Lizzie smiled lazily. "I think Miss Rayne Avery over here, can tell you." Rayne grinned right on back. "No no, Elizabeth, you can tell her." She said, stressing the first three syllables of Lizzie's full name.
They mutually laughed at their daughter's flabbergasted expression. Rayne stopped suddenly, taking on a serious look.
"But Kay, listen. I told you this to prove to you, that you do have a chance. That it's not as bad as you think. You may have a chance, but you have to take a shot."
"But...I can't, if-"
Rayne put a finger on Kay's lips. "Kira Taylor Anasi, shush. I, of all people, know exactly what you're going through. And that's why it's best you take a chance. Think about it; if I didn't get it out in the open, that I love your mother...well; you wouldn't be here right now. Plus, if she's your real friend, she won't hate you. I promise."
Kay looked down into her lap, and at that moment, her resolve hardened. "I'll tell her."
"I'm proud of you." Lizzie said, placing a kiss on top of Kay's head.
"Thanks. Both of you." Kay smiled, and gave both of her mother's a hug goodnight, before they left the room.
And so came the day, a few days later that Kay finally decided to tell Gale.
As soon as she had gotten home, and heard that Kay was in the infirmary, she changed quickly into something new, that Gale had once told her that she looked good in. When she was headed out of the door, Lizzie stopped her.
"What is it mom?" She asked, looking into the elder redhead's eyes. Lizzie smiled, and handed her a bunch of flowers.
"These are Gale's favourite flowers, as you know. I thought you could use them." Lizzie's eyes twinkled, as Kay flushed as red as her hair. Kay mumbled a thank you, and tore out of the door, cursing her mother intuition.
She walked to the infirmary, preparing herself on what to say.
"Gale..."She murmured quietly, nearly inaudible. "I love... I love..." She sighed, trying to work out her words. She inhaled. "I love you, Gale." She finally decided on. Finally coming to the door, she took one last deep breath, and opened the door. "Gale, I l-"
Kay stood, staring at Gale...her Gale, kissing a stranger. And a Drakel no less.
"I...I..." So many questions arose in Kay's mind at that moment, just like they had at Gale's party. But these questions were of a much different nature.
Who was this girl? How did she know Gale? When did they get together? Why was it that this girl, this person, got what (Kay realised at that moment) Kay herself had been subconsciously struggling to get for years? Why was it that Kay could spend years trying to earn Gale's heart, and this person could take it in a matter of seconds?
And why was it, that even when she was in the arms of another, Kay couldn't help but notice how beautiful Gale was?
It was that thought that sent Kay over the edge. She snapped out of her shock, and the tears flooded to her eyes. She bit down on her lip, in a futile attempt to stop the tears from coming. She wouldn't cry in front of Gale. She threw the flowers away, and turned on her heel as she fled from the scene.
It was only after she was far, far away from Gale and her new girlfriend that Kay allowed herself to weep.
Kay had somehow managed to pull herself home late on. When she got home, Rayne and Lizzie didn't say a word. No questions were asked, and they didn't try to stop Kay when she immediately ran up to her room.
The redhead didn't know how long she was up there. She had managed to cry herself to sleep, and when she woke up to stop the protesting growl of her stomach, she found long cold food, already fixed for her. Instead of the cheerful, light-hearted feeling that usually set the tone of their nights, it was sombre and silent. When Kay was done, and had gone back to her room again, her parents came in. They sat down on her bed, and once again, Rayne placed Kay in her lap. Lizzie sat near both of them, her arms looped around Rayne neck with Kay between them, so that Kay wouldn't fall off. Rayne and Lizzie hugged her both, and placed occasional kisses to the top of her head. Kay buried her face in Lizzie's shoulder, trying and failing not to cry.
The young redhead ran on autopilot for days on end afterwards. She had lost all emotion in her activities, and it looked as if she was just going through the motions. In this time, she barely spoke to anyone. Even Sage and Alex, Kay's best friends other than Gale, couldn't get more than a few words from her. Rayne and Lizzie could get her to talk more...but not a lot.
And Gale? Kay had stopped all communication with the elder Gale. Kay had been avoiding with her. She didn't walk with Gale anymore after she finished her after-school activities. She didn't even go near the college. She wouldn't go over to the Despair residence anymore. When Gale would see her, and try to make an attempt to talk, she would take off before Gale could even get close.
Rayne and Lizzie didn't try to pressure her into making things better. They knew about the pain of unrequited love, and they knew that Kay needed time to heal. Of course, they wanted to speed things up a little bit, but they weren't sure how. The answer, however, came to them a month after the incident.
The doorbell of the Anasi residence rang once, twice, three times. Rayne and Lizzie were still in service, but Captain Krieger had allowed them to move out, for the sake of Kay. Besides, they were running out of beds in the tower.
Lizzie went to open the door. She wasn't surprised, when she saw Gale.
"Gale, sweetheart, I'm sorry, but...I think we both know what the answer to you seeing her is going to be." She apologized. Gale sighed, and ran a hand through her dyed-green hair. "I know...but you can't blame a girl for trying, can you?"
"No, I guess I can't." A fleeting smile played around Gale's lips before disappearing.
"Mrs. Anasi, I'm serious though. I need to talk to Kay, if we ever want things to go back to some degree f normal." Lizzie looked into the house and stairs behind her, and quietly stepped outside, into the dusk.
"I understand that Gale. But Kay is stubborn, just like Rayne. She'll refuse to talk to you, unless you can somehow manage to take her by surprise. And trust me; she will know that I let you in, if I did."
"There has to be a way." Gale pleases. "I want to make everything better. And, I want to know what she was trying to tell me in the infirmary that day." Gale looked desperate, more desperate than Lizzie had ever seen her before. "Please Lizzie; you have to let me do this." Lizzie knew she was serious; Gale was always formal with her, unless it was a moment like this.
"Alright. I know when I'm beat. You can see her." Lizzie smiled helplessly. "But it'll have to be by surprise. Tell me, how do you plan to do that?"
"I think I have an idea." Gale said, as her eyes trailed over to a large oak tree, right next to Kay's window...
Tap tap
Kay didn't even bother to look up from her book. It was just the branches, being pushed toward the house by the wind.
Tap tap
She sighed, closed her eyes, and put her book down. She was really going to have to cut off that branch when she had time. That stupid little annoying 'tap tap'-
"KAY!"
Kay bolted up, eyes wide. That was not a stupid annoying 'tap tap'. She jumped off of her bed, and squinted out into the darkness of the night. Her mouth set in a thin line as she saw who it was. Nevertheless, she opened the window.
Gale dove through the window, and managed to land into a perfect roll across Kay's floor, before she stopped, crouching. She stood, and brushed the dirt and assorted leaves and twigs off of herself, before she grinned. "I knew those training sessions were paying off..." She then turned to Kay, who had gone back to reading her book. "What took you so long?"
Kay merely flipped to the next page of her book.
"No answer?"
Kay tiled her head towards the other page.
"So it's the silent treatment, huh?"
Kay coughed into her hand, and flicked another page.
While Gale was not the biological child of Maria and Safiria, she had picked up their traits. Maria's impatient, sometimes rash, well-meaning actions happened to be one of them.
In a single swift movement, Gale had leaned over the bed, plucked the book from Kay's arms, and tossed it out the window.
"What was that for?" Kay spluttered, leaping from her bed to look out the window to see where her book had landed. She never reached it though; Gale had grabbed her wrists, and held them above her head, firm enough that she couldn't break free. Kay struggled for another few seconds, before admitting defeat; this wasn't the first time that Gale had used this hold on her. This also wasn't the first time that Kay hadn't managed to escape the hold.
Gale leaned down towards Kay. When there was very little room left between their faces, Gale asked her in a low, even voice, "Why have you been avoiding me?"
Kay had turned her head to the side, and was refusing to make eye contact with Gale. She didn't respond to the question.
Gale tried again, somehow leaning in even closer to Kay without their faces touching. "Why have you been avoiding me?"
Once again, no response.
"Blast it Kay..." Gale growled, "If I have to wrestle it out of you just like when we were younger, I swear..."
"It hurt too much."
Gale went from irritated to surprised. "What?" She asked softly.
Kay still didn't turn to look at Gale. "It hurt too much to look at you."
Gale slowly released Kay. Kay didn't attempt to run. She just sat down on her bed, leaving Gale still standing. "What do you mean by that?" The Guardian asked.
"You, after I saw you and your...your..." The redhead sucked in a deep breath. "girlfriend." She spat out.
Gale's left eye twitched. "You have a problem with Jess?" She asked coldly.
Kay bit her lip and nodded, still not making eye contact with Gale.
"I can't believe this." Gale said angrily.
"Gale-" She said frantically, stopping abruptly when Gale interrupted her.
"Are you scared of the thought of a girl and another girl together? Because if that's it, that's just stupid! Look at your parents!"
"Gale..." Kay tried, unsuccessful once again as Gale ignored her and continued on her rant.
" Or is it because she's a Drakel? Do you think that she's going to betray me and try to kill me in my sleep because our races are supposed to hate each other?"
"Gale, no, that's not..."
"Don't! You probably think she's worthless! I never thought that you would have problems with her Kay! And if you do, then I guess that this friendship is-"
"I'm jealous!" Kay screamed, finally snapping her head to face Gale, right before Gale could finish her sentence.
"...what?" Gale asked blankly.
"I'm jealous." Kay's voice cracked, and her eyes watered. Staring into her amethyst eyes, Gale could see a flurry of emotions. Mostly pain and sadness with...jealousy. Anger. Rage, and something familiar Gale couldn't quite place.
"What do you mean jealous?" Gale questioned. "If you thought I was going to spend less time with you now that I'm with Jessy, Kay, you're quite-"
"Not like that." Kay said, not bothering to wipe away the unshed tears. "I'm jealous of what she has."
"And what is it that she has, that you don't have? Other than height, and scales and that kind of stuff..." Gale joked, trying to cheer her up. Kay shook her head.
"She has your heart."
Something clicked in Gale's brain, and she slowly recognized the familiar emotion in Kay's eyes; Love.
"She...she has your heart. And you don't realize how badly I want that, of all things Gale." Kay told her, as the mounting tears finally spilled out of her eyes.
"I love you Gale." Kay confessed. Gale's jaw dropped, and her eyes widened. Kay didn't notice; she was too focused on the delicious pain she felt at finally confessing her hidden emotions.
"You don't know how much it hurt when I saw you with her Gale." Kay said, finally wiping at the tears with her sleeve. It didn't make a difference; every single time some tears were wiped up, they were quickly replaced.
"There I was; at the infirmary door, getting ready to tell you. Hoping that you wouldn't hate me, and that maybe, just maybe, you loved me too. And what do I find when I go in?" Kay laughed bitterly, with a smile to match once she stopped laughing.
"I see the woman I love, in the arms of another. Kissing them like there was no tomorrow." Her bitter smile dropped, and Gale could once again see the pain in Kay's eyes.
"Do you know how much that hurts, Gale?" Kay asked seriously. "To see the person you love the most, with another?" Kay shook her head before Gale could answer.
"No. Of course you don't. Why would you, when you have Jess?"
Kay crumbled, right then and there. The strong facade that Kay had kept up throughout her explanation deserted her, leaving Kay with nothing but the sobbing emotional wreck that she felt inside.
Gale hadn't said a word through the entire thing, more focused on listening and believing what she was hearing. But when Kay finally broke down in front of her, she saw the true level of hurt that she had caused the redhead. The Guardian stepped forward from where she was standing, and sat down on the bed, wrapping her arms around Kay, hugging her tightly.
"Oh Kay..." She sighed. "Why didn't you tell me before? We wouldn't have had to have gone through this..."
"It wouldn't have mattered." Kay sobbed, her voice muffled by Gale's shoulder. "You wouldn't have loved me back."
Gale didn't reply to that. She just sighed again. "I don't know if I can make up the pain I've put you through but I want to try. I'll do anything."
"Anything? Kay hiccupped, raising her half lidded eyes up to Gale. Her emotional confession had exhausted her, and the continuous crying wasn't helping at all.
"Anything." Gale confirmed. "I just don't want you to be sad, because of me."
Kay mumbled her request, and Gale frowned in confusion. "I didn't catch that."
"Kiss me." Kay murmured, struggling against her much-needed sleep. "Kay..."
"You said anything." Kay protested sleepily. "Kiss me. Just once."
Gale nodded slowly. Gently, she tilted Kay's chin up towards her, and leaned in.
Lips met one another in a soft kiss, as emerald-tinged amethyst met cool gray. Both pairs of eyes closed eventually, and when Gale finally broke the kiss, she saw that Kay was fast asleep. The elder girl sat, listening to the even breathing, as she tenderly wiped off all traces of moisture on Kay's face.
Her bedroom door opened, and Rayne and Lizzie stood at the entrance. Rayne wasn't surprised at seeing Gale there. Somehow, Gale knew that they had heard what had happened. Or at least part of it.
"You should head home now Gale." Rayne said in a hushed tone." There was no anger or hostility directed toward Gale from Rayne; only understanding.
Gale nodded, and left, only after tucking a few light orange strands of hair between Kay's ear
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Later on that night, a lone figure stood, looking out a window, staring at the moon, in the same manner Kay had months ago.
But this time it was Gale, who was looking out the window. And this time, it was Gale's turn, to say to herself,
"I'm falling for my best friend."
Well, that was rather sad and a bit angsty wasn't it? Surprisingly, in some of the happiest weeks, I've managed to write 3 sad fics. Odd. Even more so, I write some of my fluffiest fics when I'm sad.
Anyways, Xeno, it's your turn. I hope everyone enjoyed this.
Review if you like, but know that I do enjoy them.