AUTHOR: Goddess Isa
EMAIL: goddessisa@aol.com
SUMMARY: One year from now, Willow has a realization
SPOILER: Graduation Day
DISTRIBUTION: Sure, just email me & lmk where it's going - I like seeing my name in print =)
FEEDBACK: Please, I'd hate to have to Slay for it. =P
RATING: TV-PG
DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters. They belong to Joss and everyone else. Makes me mad, too.
5/01/99
I never really realized how hard things were going to be for us.
After Angel left, and Buffy died, and Giles became a recluse, we were it.
The last two.
It's funny, but if Buffy were here, she'd call us the last two pieces of the Hellmouth Pie.
Only, she's not here, and our worlds are empty without her.
We come to the cemetery every single Saturday, because Buffy loved Saturdays. "The mall is open longer AND I don't have to go to school. What could be better?" We always bring flowers, I choose lilies because I know Buffy loved them. Xander brings cherry blossoms, because he says they're somewhat appropriate. He never can give me a reason why, but he must believe it somewhere inside of him to order them a day ahead every week so that he's assured to get them.
I kneel on the grass and touch the headstone. There's a picture on there, one of the three of us. I didn't want her mother to do that, but she said that's what Buffy would've wanted. A never-fading link to the people she loved the most. I'm not sure whether or not Mrs. Summers was saying Buffy loved us more than she loved her own mother, but I do know she has a deep understanding of the special bond the three of us share.
"Remember the last night?" Xander asks as he kneels next to me. "We went to the Bronze."
"I remember."
"Buffy wanted to split that sundae and I swore I could eat the whole thing."
I laughed. "Buffy poured the leftovers in your lap when you only managed to consume half of it."
"I still have stains on my pants. Chocolate topping never comes off."
I laughed again and then my smile faded as I remembered where we were and why we were there. After an hour of sitting in silence, we left, Xander leading me, holding my hand.
When we reached his car, I got in and started to cry.
"I miss her too," he said as he got in, putting his arm around my shoulders.
"It's not that. I mean, I do, but...."
"Then what?" his face was flushed with worry. "Willow, talk to me?"
"What's wrong with us?" I asked. "Why can't we just be normal and happy together the way we're supposed to be?"
"Life doesn't work that way Will."
"We'll always be strangers," I whispered. "I've known you my entire life, but we'll never be to each other what we need. Not anymore."
"I hate this." he said after a long silence.
"Me too, but it's the truth and we have to stop denying it."
"I'll still love you."
"Me too." I opened the door to get out. It started to rain and I saw that as Buffy giving us an argument from Heaven. She wanted us to work more than I did, if that's even possible. "I'll call you. Or I'll see you here, next week."
He nodded and waited for me to close the door and start walking away before driving off. My tears meshed with the rain as reality set in. Everything was gone and it was never coming back.