The Smell Before Rain
Chapter One: The Concrete Girl
"No" she smiled coyly; walking away quickly with Ginny. She grinned over her shoulder at the dumbstruck boy behind them who was laughing softly in disbelief. Hermione waved at him demurely and turned the corner.
"Can you believe it?" Ginny asked with a snort when he had disappeared from view "Malfoy wanted to buy you an ice-cream, what an oddity" she giggled. But she still looked over her shoulder in vain to catch a last glimpse of the boy.
"Honestly, where does he get off asking me to do anything? I know we're not enemies or anything; at least not anymore. But I'm not his best friend either. And he knows I'm dating Ron" Hermione laughed pushing down her sunhat to compress her large hair. She smoothed her dress and removed Malfoy from her mind.
The June sun was scorching above as the two girls skipped down Diagon Alley in the sticky afternoon. Having their first taste of freedom after everything that had occurred. The war over, school finished, at least for Hermione, and a whole summer to enjoy themselves. The world was slowly rebuilding itself, unsteady on its feet and unsure of the peace around it. But hopeful for its longevity.
The wind blew softly lifting their light dresses and cooling their warm bodies. "I'm just ecstatic" Ginny sighed hooking her elbow with Hermione's. Hermione smiled happily at her friend, unable to hold back her own joy. She gazed fondly at the giant diamond on Ginny's finger.
"I would be ecstatic too" she grinned jabbing Ginny with her elbow, "With such a hopeful promise of marriage" she rolled her eyes.
"Hey! Harry tried really hard, he was just nervous, it happens" Ginny said defensively, pulling Hermione to a stop to glance in a store window.
"He fainted before he could even open the ring box Ginny. Our great hero is supposed to be scared of nothing, but only his girlfriend" Hermione giggled pressing her face to the glass, looking at all of the beautiful shoes. A pair of flat slouchy suede boots caught her eye. They were red.
Ginny snorted, "He got farther than Ron" she said braggingly.
Hermione just smiled, but said nothing. She didn't want to have this conversation right now.
"What no retaliation? A first from Hermione Granger" Ginny said with shocked smile, "Come on, what aren't you telling me?" she asked.
"Nothing" Hermione smiled again.
"Okay, I'll rephrase my question. What are you hiding from me?" Ginny said tapping her foot on the ground.
"Nothing" Hermione repeated unable to stop her frown. It did not go unnoticed by Ginny, she knew better.
"Don't fret Hermione" she sighed, "Ron's just like that. It takes him ten times what it takes Harry to say something. Come on, let's keep going, I want to see that dress. We need to be back by four anyway or mum will murder us" Ginny said grabbing Hermione's hand and leading her away from the shop window.
"Alright" Hermione said letting Ginny lead her away from the boots.
Draco wasn't sure what to think, all he could do was laugh. Granger sure was something, and she was still denying herself his presence. She'd come around, he would make sure. How many offers could she refuse?
He'd been asking her since seventh year, two and a half years of 'maybe's' and 'we'll see's'. He wasn't going to let her get away, and he surely wasn't going to lose her to Weasley.
A fallen Malfoy he may have been, but a Malfoy nonetheless and Malfoy's always got what their hearts desired. It was only a matter of time before Hermione Granger was running into his arms while he stood in a field of wheat.
"I'm fine Ron" Hermione laughed waving him away with her hand.
"Hermione you're drunk" he laughed along with the rest of the party. "Let me apparate you home please, I'd feel much better if you made it back safe" he said seriously holding her hand.
"Oh, all right" Hermione gave in running to grab her bag which was seated on her chair.
The garden was lit softly with little fairies, the group of friends having their first formal celebration of the end and the beginning. Harry handed Hermione her purse and took her drink smiling softly.
"Thanks Harry" she smiled.
"I'll see you tomorrow; we have to sign up for our courses in the morning, so please take something for your head. Otherwise tomorrow will be horrible" he said kindly.
"Harry, stop being the adult. That's my job" Hermione grinned. Harry just shrugged and smiled at Ginny.
"Bye guys!" Hermione called to everyone milling about. From the Weasley's, to Neville and Luna, even to Zabini; there were many people attending the Weasley feast.
"Ron I'm ready" Hermione said walking back over to him.
"Let's walk to the edge of the border" he said extending her his elbow. Hermione was beyond giddy; she took his elbow gratefully and let him lead her away.
As they walked out of the gate and towards the end of the protective field, Hermione felt her head clearing already. And a tight sensation griped her heart. Here she was walking with Ron, and yet nothing. He was holding her arm rigidly and staring straight ahead. It had been like this for the past three weeks. She wasn't sure what was going on, but she was too scared to ask. Ever since Harry proposed to Ginny; Ron had become odd, and distant, Hermione just couldn't figure it out.
Harry loved Ginny, anyone could see it. The way he touched her, looked at her, spoke to her. So lovingly. Hermione wanted that with Ron, but she sensed he wasn't feeling the same. She had always assumed he liked her, the way he acted. And the way that everyone assured her that he did.
They traipsed across the field, finally walking past the wheelbarrow which was the end of the charm. Ron stopped and took her hand gently, "ready?" he asked.
Hermione nodded. A loud snap, a tugging sensation and then they were standing outside of her parent's house in Sherwood Forest. "Thanks for apparating me home" Hermione said with a sigh, looking over Ron's shoulder and down her small suburban street. Dark and empty, dirty yellow light washing the paved streets.
"You're welcome" Ron said smiling awkwardly. Hermione waited for the routine, a moment of awkward silence, and then he would decide he needed to go. Ron was staring at her oddly; it was these moments where Hermione could not understand exactly how he felt. The way he was looking at her was making her warm and soft. But what was running through his mind?
Hermione stood on her toes and hugged Ron tightly. He returned the hug; she pulled back and searched his face for anything she could understand. There was very little. She moved forward, wondering if she should kiss him, what would he do. She moved closer yet, her lips almost on his. She counted the freckles on his nose with a smile and the forced her eyes to his. His blue eyes bore into hers, searching for something. What did he need? She moved even closer, her lips brushed his.
Ron turned his face away from her. Hermione choked back a startled sob. She kissed his cheek and let him go quickly. "See you tomorrow" she whispered in his direction before walking away into her house. She didn't look back, she couldn't let herself. And then something in her snapped, she turned on her heel and ran back to him.
"What is going on Ron?" she asked softly stopping right before him.
"What do you mean?" he asked; startled with her sudden return and her closeness.
"Why don't you look at me anymore, why don't you touch me, kiss me? What did I do?" she asked desperately.
"It's not what you did Hermione…" he sighed looking down the dark street "I've just been going through something…"
"What? What have you been going through? Tell me Ron. I can't read your mind, tell me, don't shut me out" she whispered reaching for him, he stepped back. Hermione felt as though she had been slapped. He wouldn't even let her touch him.
"Hermione, I've just been confused" he sighed running his hand through his hair and looking down at her.
"Confused? About…us?" she asked unsurely.
"I guess, confused about how I feel" he muttered pushing his hands in his pockets.
"How do you feel Ron?" Hermione asked angrily.
"Differently. Especially about you Hermione" he said honestly, but he was still unable to look her in the eye.
"Continue" Hermione said simply.
"I don't want to… anymore" he began unsurely "I mean, I just…It doesn't feel the same as it used to" he frowned; unable to place the words in the order he wanted them.
"What doesn't feel like it used to?" Hermione asked unsteadily. Her heart beat painfully in her chest, her fists clenching by her sides. Her heart was filled with cold dread.
"Us" he whispered, confirming her suspicions and causing her breathing to quicken. He continued "I don't feel the same about you. I don't feel anything when I touch you, or when you touch me, I don't think about you like I used to. Actually I rarely think about you when you're not around. I don't feel the warmth and comfort with you. I've lost that desire to chase you and to make you love me…"
"Because I already do" she whispered "I do love you Ron, fucking hell. I really do… I just don't understand how…"
"I fell out of love Hermione; I just don't love you anymore. And I don't know why, but I know that's how I feel" he spoke softly but surely.
"You don't?" she asked as her eyes stung with tears. She couldn't believe this, she couldn't understand it.
"I'm sorry, but I can't control things like that. One day I loved you with all of my life, but the next, it was just cold" he explained.
"And what about me now? I still love you…" she asked.
"I don't know Hermione, I can't tell you what you feel, but you'll figure it out" he promised stepping towards her. This time Hermione stepped back.
"I just can't believe this…" she turned away from him without another word. But before she even reached her front door, she heard the snap and knew he was gone. Her heart sunk with that inexplicable sense of total loss.
She entered her empty house and sat down in the kitchen. Wishing her mother was home, wishing she had someone to talk to. But her parents were still in Australia, trying to figure some things out. Hermione had visited them when Voldemort had been killed; they had been confused about what Hermione had done. And hurt, but they forgave her because they understood, and yet they decided to remain there until they were ready to return. But why weren't they ready? Hermione could feel that they were still hurt, and they didn't know how to approach their daughter anymore. She was so removed from them now.
Her mother would know what to do, what to tell her to make her feel better. Why would Ron turn away? How could he be so cold?
It was at that moment that she realized it wasn't going to be. Maybe never. Whatever Ron was feeling, she couldn't understand it. But she saw it before he even told her. She saw it in the way he distanced himself. He didn't feel anything for her. He might have before, but at this moment, there was not a single shred of love for her.
It wasn't there anymore. It just wasn't. And it hurt. How was she supposed to just let him go now? To remove him from her heart, where she had been keeping and building him for years. To rip it away and leave it missing. Could she? Did it work that way? Could she forget his soft red hair and deep azure eyes? His warm body and the way he smelled were all things she had engraved so deeply, scarred into her heart. Would it fade with time?
Would it ever come back? She doubted it; she could not see how he could ever love her again. He was sure in what he felt, he had just not wanted to hurt her. He was a coward.
Hermione dropped her bag on the counter and headed upstairs to sleep. She needed to leave it alone, and think about it in the morning. Her mind was not working at its maximum at the moment. All she could do was pray that when she woke up, this would all have been a dream.
She undressed, and showered, and brushed her teeth. Dressed in her pajamas and lay down in bed. Then she began to cry.
Was she supposed to feel so lost right now? Hurt, angry confused. She wanted to rip out Ron's heart and at the same time force him to love her. Why had he not told her earlier? Maybe they could have been saved? Why was he making it so hard on her, couldn't he see that she was throwing herself at him?
Even with all of these thoughts and questions running through her head, Hermione's heart was cooling. Hermione knew that when she woke up tomorrow morning, she would have already resolved to stop loving. She would turn cold and forget it all, move on and leave it in the past. Tomorrow morning the pain would be gone.
Was this heartbreak? Yes, it must have been.
A/N: New story! I know, I really should get to work on my others, but I will soon. I just couldn't resist. I watched 'City of Angels', "The Notebook", 'A Walk To Remember', and the list just goes on and on. It was a weekend of love, so I came up with a wonderful idea, and I just had to post it. This fic will be a little less dramatic and a lot more realistic. Honestly, what an odd thing to say when writing about witches and wizards?