She poured the white powder, cutting it up with a debit card, making the line as neat as possible, with her shaky hands this was a hard feat. She looked at it, smiling a dry grin. The group next to her was rowdy. Her boyfriend on one side, Sasuke, sitting dark and beautiful with his arm around her. Kiba on the other side, lounging on the couch, chortling some dumb shit at Ino, who was laughing. Hinata tuned them out, the room was black and white and blue. Everything had a cold shine to it, it was freezing her. She held her finger to one nostril and sucked all the snow up the other. Her hands stopped shaking. She swayed to the loud music somebody had blasted in her boyfriends tiny flat.
Her eyes were silver, her pupils barely visible in the brightest light. And you wouldn't often find her in the brightest light. Her skin so white you could see blue veins through it on her arms. Hair so black it shined blue. No wonder they called her the ice queen. She was Sasuke's girl, a very popular very dangerous drug dealer. She could easily work a gun, but she preferred her knives. She had a collection, always keeping one on her person. The Ice Queen loved her snow more than anything else. She breathed it up her nose and it was what kept her going.
No one expected her to talk, even at gatherings like this. She never talked. People wondered if she even said anything to her dark boyfriend. His eyes black as his hair, he was frightening. But to Hinata, he was ice too.
She stayed with him because he was frozen, like she was. His whole family is dead, his brother in an asylum somewhere for killing them. He was as frozen solid as she is.
She looked at the lights of cars and neon signs out the window. Konaha was such a busy city. Never sleeping, like her. She never slept. The purple under her eyes was show enough. She looked at the man next to her, his eyes matched. She thought it was sad. This whole scene was so sad to her. It was a snow storm, it was ice. The smoke from Kiba's joint made the room stink, and she imagined him trying to hold that fire in his lungs in all the cold, it was impossible. It flew out in stinking smoke. She didn't want any fire and smoke, she needed her snow.
Before she met him, she was clean. Not happy in anyway. She was kicked out, helpless on the street. She slept over Ino's occasionally, but never stayed. She spent most of her time asleep on park benches. Swinging on squeaky old swings. She wasn't okay, but she survived.
He found her in the park. She didn't know then that it was his territory. She saw the ice in him then, as he saw it in her. He brought her home he showed her cocaine, which she endearingly called 'Snow'.
She snorted it, her body went numb her eyes flew to the ceiling, she was in heaven she didn't feel it. She didn't feel the pain the cold didn't sting her, she was the queen now, and she controlled the painful ice.
The two stayed together then. She doesn't know why he keeps her around, she wasn't any real use to him. Shes a freeloader, who sleeps in his bed and does his drugs, which was the merchandise that kept the bed and flat around.
Someone walked into his flat, Ino had let him in, leaving Kiba's lap to go answer the knocking. Hinata just stared at him, red. Red was not the colour of ice, red was heat. She watched him, there was a tattoo on his forehead in red that read "love".
Love must be red she thought. He walked and said a few things to Naruto, the loud blonde one, whom Hinata respected and admired but stayed away from. She could tell why Naruto would spend time with this stranger, the both had heat to them. But Naruto's didn't even touch the red hot burning that this boy brought into the room. Hinata kept staring, almost unblinking. He looked over at her, his eyes were green. Green as summer. He doesn't belong here she thought panicking He belongs in summer he is warmth and heat This is the Eternal Winter.
Kiba laughed "Oh Look who has the Queens attention" he laughed rowdily. Her stare didn't turn away. Kiba's words barely touched her, she didn't hear him. The red haired boy stared her right back in the eyes. "I'm Gaara" his words and breathe were warm as hot chocolate. She put her hand out to touch it, she couldn't feel it. She glanced at the coffee table in front of her. There was another line waiting. She snorted it before continuing her staring. Her mouth opened, she wanted to say something. But what could winter say to summer?
She got up from her seat, moving like a breeze, flowing to his direction. She stopped in front of him, getting on her tip toes, she barely whispered in his ear. "Hinata"
She was so close, she felt the ice melting by how hot he was, the pain was etching itself back into her chest, tears welled into her eyes. She ran after that. Ran out the door and into the streets. She heard Sasuke call after her.
Sasuke glared at Gaara. He knew it wasn't his fault, but he was still pissed. I love her he screamed inside. Why can't she love me?! He remembered the day he found her, swinging at that damn park. He remembered it was 3am, the haunting hour. She could have been a ghost for how pale she was. He had to touch her to make sure. She acted like he wasn't even there before he touched her arm. She ripped a knife out of the couldn't believe how fast she was. She stared at him knife pointed. At that moment he knew he loved her. He backed off then. Leaving her to her park, but returned the next day, and the next day. Sometimes she would be there, sometimes she wouldn't. When she was she didn't talk, but she had stopped pulling her knife on him by the third time he found her. He couldn't even remember how many times he had come to see her at the first time she talked to him. He asked her what her name was like he always did. She whispered
"Hinata"
Her voice was so small and whispery. He stared at her, asking her if she wanted to come to his place, he could get her something warm to drink. Her eyes twitch at the word "warm" and she agreed, with a nod of her head.
She lived in his flat now, it took a lot of convincing. She still barely talked, but he could get one word answers out of her. He pleaded with her to stay, and was over joyed at her tiny whisper "Okay"
They slept in the same bed, and sometimes she would curl up against him, or wrap her small arms around him. One morning she kissed him when she found him on the couch watching TV. He blinked at her, in his sleepy haze he said "I love you" she curled next to him on the couch and nodded. He smiled. He was happy with that. He fell back asleep, and awoke to her giggling at a cartoon. He pretended to be asleep to listen to her happiness more. When he was sure she was done he pretended to wake up. Wrapping his arms around her. She was smiling at him.
He liked to think that she hadn't taken tablets that day.
He wished he never let her use his drugs.
He hooked the only person he loved and he will never forgive himself for that.
He ran into the busy street screaming her name. He went fast up the sidewalk looking for her. It was pouring, of course it was. Why wouldn't it be. The water was making everything slippery. He crashed and fell on the pavement, picking himself up, his lip split and knees bleeding, he continued running.
He saw he standing in the middle of a very busy road. She stood on the yellow lives, trucks and cars whizzed by her. Does no one see her?! He screamed in his head or do they just not care A huge truck went by her, the aftermath knocking her down. She lay on her hands and knees in the middle of this all. The rain had soaked her into a pale ball of flesh and bones, with soppy fabric sticking to her thin frame. He watched her look up, and scream. Scream like he's never heard her. She was screaming more and more, wailing. He realized he couldn't see it, but Hinata was crying. He ran into the busy street, picking her up and continuing to go before they both crashed into pavement. He kept sobbing hard, sending small fists into Sasuke's chest. He grabbed her wrists. "Please calm down" he begged, but she just kept going. They sat like that in the rain bleeding on to concrete for and hour before she was okay enough for him to pick her up.
He walked into his first floor apartment. He screamed for everyone to leave, turning the music off. The small group filed out, Gaara had already left.
He stripped her down before turning on the shower and putting her under the hot water. He tried to leave but she cried out "No" holding onto his arm. He slipped into the shower fully clothed, and sat on the floor while it dripped over her head. She cried to him "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" He just ran her hair through his finger, whispering to her. "Its alright, Its okay, oh my sweet angel, you know I love you" She pulled off his wet clothing throwing them on the floor of the shower. They clogged the drain, making the tub start to fill. She kissed his mouth, then moved on to his neck and chest. He was blushing. She stopped at his chest and wrapped her arms around it. He carefully entered her and slowly pumped her. The tiny noises she made were heaven. He loved her voice. It made his whole insides feel like hot caramel.
They let the shower, dripping cooling water through the house, towels on there heads. "I love you" he mumbled, rubbing the towel into her dripping hair. She cuddled up to him.
I don't love you she thought.
The next morning he woke up, and Hinata was gone. All her things were gone. Every trace of her was missing.
He cried for hours into her pillow.