Disclaimer : Usual Disclaimers. I own nothing, All Harry Potter Characters belong to JK Rowling. )
A/N : One Shot Story. I've read some amazing ones out there, and realised.. Such beauty comes from One shots these days, So I thought I'd give it a whirl. Very sorry if it sucks, First one shot attempt EVER. :) Hope you enjoy it because It was such a thrill to write! Enjoy and Review Please!.. x In Draco's POV. ) Xx
Summary : I knew I wanted what I couldn't have, and that was set in stone when I first beckoned those two words, 'Filthy Mudblood'. I was losing, Us Malfoy's, we aren't supposed to lose... (A DMHG Oneshot.)
A Flame Beyond The Fire..
I stood.
I saw..
And I hated.
I could feel it boiling inside of me, harder and faster, as they sat closer, staring into eachother's eyes.
They say knowledge benefits those who are most lost in their lives.
They were wrong.
Because it kills you,
Knowledge kills you.
Knowing what I knew, tore me apart at the very seams, day by day as they drew closer, and I fell further away.
I tried reaching out to somebody who I loved.
But I was somebody she hated.
But hate is far to short of the feeling.
She despised me.
But with her beauty, Her frizzy brown hair that couldn't help but tangle me up in her. It had calmed a bit over the years, draping its self to her shoulders. And her smile, My lord her smile, her dazzling smile. I loved it and I loathed it. All at the same time, How she'd only use it when I wasn't around. How if I stepped two feet near her, It would vanish, without a trace, locked away for only him to see.. And her common sense, you thought she would have noticed, by now, with 10 O.W.L's at outstanding, and heck knows how many N.E.W.T's, you'd have thought by now she'd acknowledged and delved deeeper into my feelings, but not just mine - Into hers.
But she ignored it.
So did I.
I knew I wanted what I couldn't have,
I knew she was within grasp of her everything.
But why did I draw the short straw? Why did I become so far away?
I knew there was no chance.
No chance in hell.
And that was set in stone, when I first beckoned those two words,
'Filthy Mudblood.'
'Filthy Mudblood', thats what I threw at her.
The most harsh words in the wizarding world, Judging by blood was worse than judging by gender, or race or even ethnicity.
That ended it for me.. Before it had even started.
Boy, do I regret it now.
As I stand here, silently, watching them together..
She snuggles closer to him as they stare into an open fireplace.
I can still feel the hate I have for Hermione, merging with the love.
But I question myself,
Was it ever hate, Was it ever even love?
Overall, It was something I couldn't control.
And I hated that.
I hated how she got under my skin and was able to compell me into nothing.
When I was supposed to be rising to power and glory.
She was pulling me down, without even realising.
The simplest look from the corner of her soft hazel eyes could entrance me, The shot of her hand rising up in the air, two words of her intuellect could make me want to keel over.
I hate that.
But I love her.
I know I do.
I hate how much I love her.
Her leans in closer, able to smell that vanilla scent of her hair, the one that sent me on a high. I longed to be able to smell that scent, without being called 'A creepo perverted slytherin with no life.' I longed for her.
She longed for him.
I don't know what she sees in him.
It's disgusting.
His filthy black hair falling aimlessly infront of his forehead, His scar resembling a cower in the presence of the dark lord, His stupid nerdy glasses. I can't put how much I hate Potter into words.
I couldn't.
The image is killing me..
As I watch him stretch, putting his arm around her, pulling her in close, I can't help but feel jealous. Yes, Jealousy. I Draco Malfoy, am jealous. But not of Harry Potter, of the girl he holds close to him, morning, noon and night. Of the girl he can call his own, like I've always wanted to.
She practically belongs to him.
I had to try like I'd tried once before.
Here's my chance.. she's getting up.
She gracefully walks out of the common room door, trailing quietly down the stairs, I follow.
I had to.
I step in time with her, as if we were stepping to the beat of the slow, steady song that rolled endlessly through my head.
She jolted round, I had no time to hide.
It -
I -
Couldn't.
"What do you want, Malfoy?" She sneered at me, Her eyes nonetheless, still twinkling gently in dim light of the candles hanging overhead.
Us Malfoy's, we aren't supposed to lose.
I hadn't said a word and I was already losing.
"What? Am I no longer allowed to walk down stairs with out petty Potter's permission?"
"You'll have nothing to do with Harry, Lets keep it that way. Change it, and I will jinx your head off." The same empty glare took over her face, matching mine.
Us Malfoy's, we aren't supposed to be dragged down by those lesser than us.
She was what they call 'lesser' than us.
I hated how she was supposedly less worthy of a witch, when she had a heart of gold, and bigger brains than any Malfoy on the family tree.
I hated how our love was practically forbidden.
I hated how it didn't matter if I loved her, I had no chance.
No matter how much I thought I did.
"Seriously, Granger, all that snogging with Potter's really sharpened your tounge hasn't it?" I replied, stupidly.
But I knew to her, it hurt, nonetheless.
"Means alot coming from you, Draco. You don't offend me anymore. Infact, you don't mean anything to me anymore. You never did." She tried to turn away but I grabbed her arm, Stopping her.
"Get off me, Malfoy." She spoke bitterly, and quietly. I could almost sware I saw tears rimming her eyes..
I doubt it.
If any, they were tears of hurt, fear, anger..
Not of love, happiness, faith..
"Malfoy?!" She raised her voice dramatically.
She'd taken to calling me by my last name too.
Trying to even the score,
I was losing.
I let go of her,
"I'm sorry Granger, I'm sorry that in you're life I'm nothing, when in mine, you're everything."
Thats what I wanted to say,
It's also what I should have said.
"You're lucky I spared you, Wouldn't want Potter to go crying to Dumbledore, would we?" She stood still, glaring up at me, her eyes practically peircing a thousand holes in my heart. "Now get lost, Mudblood." I let her dart past me, back to Harry.
I had ruined it,
Not that I had anything to ruin.
I watched her sit back down next to Harry through the window in the large door. She hadn't opened her mouth, just changed it into a smile. The same smile I loved, on the same girl I loved.
I was sorry..
Sorry I was just nothing more than a flame beyond the fire in her life.
I had lost.
Us Malfoy's, aren't supposed to lose..
We aren't supposed to love either.
But that didn't stop me...