Clueless

Summary: Oliver Wood's got no time for a skinny tomboy of a fourth year whose daredevil attitude and love for pranks most usually ends up in detention. So how can such a short, unfeminine girl play Quidditch so well? KBOW - eventually. A trip through Hogwarts and beyond...

Chapter One

"Fred, it's too easy. It's just not a challenge, mate." Fred rubbed his nose reflectively, nodding slowly in agreement to his twin's comment. They were sitting out under the trees in the south part of the grounds, enjoying being outside in late spring. After charming the still-moist ground to resemble a dry blanket, the trio had tumbled onto it to think about what could be done for a certain over-zealous Quidditch captain. After winning the Quidditch cup two years running, Oliver Wood had made certain that his team knew it was going to happen again. So had begun a gruelling practice regime that happened three times a week just after dawn.

"I can't take it anymore!" Katie gasped, though whether she was referring to their captain's energy or the fact that George had charmed a thin twig to tickle her in the ribs was not clear. The twins looked at their tiny friend fondly. Messy silvery-blond hair, green eyes, and of a diminutive height, Katie Bell resembled an imp - an apt name for her character, which was cheeky, unrefined, and definitely not ladylike. She was sprawled on the ground with a piece of parchment in front of her, and an inky quill in one hand - which was, incidentally, more blue than flesh-coloured. Fred tutted and removed the quill from her grasp.

"Blue hands are so last year, darling," George said in mock dismay, scourgifying her hands with a quick tap of his wand. Fred whacked his head, frowning 'what in Merlin's name was that about?' at him. Katie merely admired his work before his tone registered.

"Ge-orge," she whined. "I'm a girl, you're not supposed to tell me what's up to date." She nibbled her lip pensively. "Come to think of it, I haven't got a clue about clothes."

"And that," continued Fred sagely, "is why we leave it up to Alicia to be the girl." - "And Angie," he amended, when the pair joined them on the charmed ground, with Angelina directing a dark look at the red-haired twin.

"You talk too much, George," she snapped. George made an indignant noise as he received Alicia into his lap, saying around her body,

"He's not George, I am! Is Katie really the only one who can tell us apart?" He assumed a wounded expression, which didn't last for long with Alicia's assurance that she could too. He smirked at Angie as Katie interpolated,

"Your mum doesn't forget either, y'know!"

"Not much of a comfort, imp." She grinned at their nickname for her, and snatched the plans out of Fred's hands, scanning them quickly.

"This is a time where I wish you hadn't given the Map to Harry, Fred. I really can't remember where that passage starts - y'know, the one that leads to the bookcase in the far left hand corner of the library." She stared at the parchment, biting her ragged thumbnail. Angie looked confused.

"Doesn't it begin behind the -?" she began, but Fred clamped a firm hand over her mouth.

"Nothing personal, Ange," he said hurriedly as he saw her glare at him, "but we want her to remember. Right, Forge?"

"Right, Gred," his twin agreed. They all waited in silence as Katie gazed unseeing into the distance, worrying at her lip. It wasn't too long before her face lit up and her eyes began to gleam.

"Behind that Knight with the House of Faurmod's emblem engraved on his wrist, fourth floor," she said delightedly. "You have to turn the screw on the visor after saying the password."

"Which is?" George prompted, a grin on his face. She gave him a dirty look.

"Never you mind, young pup," she said primly, but there was an answering smile in her own eyes. "The password for the prefects' bathroom," she whispered in Angie's ear. "They've been trying to weasel it out of me ever since Percy slipped it to me accidentally." Her friend's lips quirked in amusement.

"Never was the brightest spark in the fireplace, that boy," she murmured back.

"I'm surprised at you, Ange," Katie said, her eyes round. Then snorted. "I'm simply oozing charm, that's all."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night," Alicia replied comfortingly, reaching over to pat Katie's arm. She shared a long-suffering look with the grinning Angie opposite her, and then a shadow fell upon the group, blocking out the sun. Katie's hands were quick (but not sly) in crumpling the plans laid on the ground and sitting on them. She grinned up at the Quidditch captain standing before them, 'oozing charm'. Oliver Wood smirked.

"If that's your innocent look, Bell, I now fully expect to be pranked in the next week or so."

Darn.

Katie didn't even bother glancing at the others.

"Don't know what you're talking about, mate." His sceptical glare told her that she would have to do better than that. Her urgently questing thoughts suddenly hit upon a brilliant excuse. She gave a put-out look - a mixture of upset, bewildered, and slightly irritated which she rather proudly thought was worthy of the twins. I have been spending way too much time with those two...

Biting her lip, Katie caught her captain's gaze. "If you really want to know, Wood, I guess I'll have to tell you." She looked awkward. "It's your birthday next week, and we were kind of - casting around for ideas..." The delicate pink that suddenly stained Oliver's cheeks was an absolutely delicious contrast to the smooth, cool tone of his voice.

"Oh?" He seemed to be pondering. "I'll see you all at the pitch tomorrow evening - 7:00pm sharp."

"Bye Oliver," they all chorused, and as soon as his tall figure had vanished from view, Katie's small person was battered with comments.

"Ka-tie! Now I have to buy him a present!" a voice whined - Alicia.

"Yeah, and we'll have to do something to celebrate!" This was Angelina. However, these rather negative outlooks on her ingenious excuse were far outweighed by Fred and George's ecstasy.

"D'you know what, George? I reckon she's finally being influenced by our unimaginable skills."

"You may be right, Fred. Brilliant, Kates, absolutely brilliant. Distracted his attention from the fact that he wanted a practice right now, even though it's Saturday, got us an evening practice instead of a crack-of-dawn torture session tomorrow, made sure he won't be suspecting a prank for at least a month, and -"

" - gave us an excuse to throw a birthday bash in practice next Friday, rather than trying out all those extremely complex plays which are an absolute pain in the -"

"Fred," Angelina interrupted in a warning voice. Fred's mouth clamped shut quicker than Katie and Alicia were able to exchange knowing looks. Angie's the only one who can possibly shut up Fred in mid-ramble, and I don't think it's the fact that she can beat up any of the blokes in our year that's the persuasive factor, Katie thought, a quick glance informing her of Alicia's similar thoughts. A bell rang, interrupting the comfortable silence.

"Nearly curfew, people," George announced, reluctantly shoving his girlfriend out of his lap and standing up.

"Oh but Ge-orge!" Katie complained, as Fred held out a hand to both Angie and herself. "We still haven't finished our plans!" She was ignored, and sulked most of the way back to the castle before Fred whispered in her ear.

"Meet us two in the kitchens tonight after lights are out. We'll carry on there." Katie glanced at their other two friends, as if to ask whether they could come, but Fred's quick shake of the head confirmed that the Weasleys would be talking serious prank talk. Less people in on it, the better, Katie thought, remembering one of George's strict morals regarding pranks. A small pang of regret was quickly suppressed by the thought that there would be less people for the house elves to serve, and consequently, more food. Katie's green eyes gleamed as she thought of the particular way a house elf called Dobby had with chocolate brownies...

-ooooooo-

I know it's a short chapter, but the next will be longer - if you make my muse feel all mushy inside with reviews. Any review helps - it doesn't matter if you don't like it, because I will take reviews into account and continue to try and do better. CC, flames, fangirl gushing (yeah right, I wish...) will all contribute, I'm sure.

- First Promise