The Way He Was

By: Kimmy-Sama

A/N: ok.. I don't know why I wrote about Faye, Jet and Spike. I have not been in a Cowboy Bebop mood, yet I started typing away about them for some reason. I have very weird ways of writing sometimes, and this one is different from other ways people might know me for. Just try this out and see how ya like it.

Disclaimer: Cowboy Bebop and all its characters do not belong to me. SO STOP BUGGING ME!!! *slap*

Did I love him?

Faye stared down and the lifeless body of her once comrade, his face pale and his body slack. He was lost forever, and she knew it… Part of her wished he would snap alive, saying a little idiotic joke and smile. That charming, lovely smile. One he use to make her mad or upset. He always knew how to hit her buttons, that's for sure.

But now that smile was a small one, faded from his face and his body was as faded it seemed as the smile. He seemed to get blurry.. Like he wasn't even there… but it was then she realized she was just holding tears in her eyes. Blinking, out they came, and fell from her beautiful face to the hand she held in hers.

Nearby, she heard someone move. Jet. He was the one who came limping back, his leg still wounded, carrying Spike in his arms. She'll never forget his face. So still and lost. She wondered how her face looked at the moment. Tears were still falling as she stared at Spike's face.

Did I love him?

Of course. She loved the spark he held. The way he moved and talked, the way he acted. He was a jerk at times and made her yell and rant, but damn it. She loved him.

She could see someone telling her, everything would be alright. How in the hell could everything be alright? Spike was dead. Gone. Forever. The one she loved was gone for good and the hope of a better day to come was gone with that. Spike. How long had she been here? She didn't know. All she knew was that she was in agony. The one she loved was gone!

Am I sure I loved him?

Yes! She loved him! More tears came now. His life was so pointless, yet, she wanted to be a part of it. She wanted to love him and have him love her in return. Yet she knew that would never happen. He was to in love with Julia to ever love her. But she always held that one hope that maybe, someday, he would love her.

Jet moved again, this time standing and walking out of the room. She knew he wanted time alone. She knew it was hard on him as well. What could she do? What was next? Spike…

Am I sure I loved him… or the way he was?

What..? Her mind was playing with her now. Of course she loved HIM. He was a wonderful person to love. His fierce ways of handling things.

…or the way he was?

Maybe.. It wasn't love. Maybe admiration? But God, how deep that was. She wanted to be like him in so many different ways. She wanted to be able to go head first into something and not even have the little bit of fear. The way he was.

Jet walked back into the room, carrying a large blanket. Faye sighed, and let go of Spike's hand, crossing her arms over her bare stomach.. Jesus.. What to do? Jet pulled the blanket over Spike, covering his body and then stood there… pondering the same thing as Faye. What now?

"He would have wanted to be forgotten. Damn jerk." Faye looked over at Jet as he spoke, his voice was still low and thundering like always, but something in the tone of it made her want to cry more. It was obvious he had cried almost as much as her.

He needs me.

Her fingers reached out and touched the cold blanket, where Spike's chest was… her eyes looking at it as if she could still see him. "That won't happen."

"What now?" Finally, he voiced what they both were pondering.

"Who the hell knows." She tired to sound a little more like herself, not so venerable and upset. She needed to be strong. For the sake of Spike, she would be.

Quietly Jet's artificial arm reached up and rubbed the back of his head, staring down at the blanket as well. He seemed in deep thought. Faye watched him, and wondered how he could stand the feel of that cold hand against his skin. Once she bumped into him, her arm touching his, and she had shivered from the coldness of it. Of course, she didn't find it ugly, but how one must change to have such a thing on their body. She found it suited him, however.

She shivered, the thought of it made her cold, and she realized how cold it was in the room. Is this how it always was? Was it just colder because there was a dead body laying there? Most important… Spike's body?

Her eyes averted Jet's as he gazed up at her, and she stared down at the dusty color. It was strange on how eerie and silent it was. Faye swore if it was any quieter, she would be deaf. The tears had finally stopped, but the streak they left on her face was cold and wet, and she made no move to wipe them away. She was shivering more, but then she couldn't even feel it. THIS is what it was like… being around someone who you knew, dead.

Without warning, a loose coat was pulled over her shoulders. It smelt of Spike. It was his…

"You need to get over this."

Faye blinked her emerald gaze, because she couldn't believe what she just heard. Was that Spike? His voice? Her body turned away from the dead form, looking behind her. There, was a shadow.. But a very clear shadow… Who the hell?

"Get over it Faye."

It was speaking to her! It had his voice… his smile. His position of standing. It was Spike.. Quickly she moved towards it, trying to grab it, called his name, tried to grip the shirt he was wearing… and much to her shock, she managed to do that. His sent… his own personal musk as well as the smell of cigarettes. She found her self mouthing his name.

"Faye.." It said in return. Its eyes.. Two different shades… staring back down at her. Its hands wrapped around her shivering body, a smile on its face.

"Your… back…" She said breathlessly, both hands grasping the cotton shirt it wore. "Spike…"

Its smile seemed to fade. "I can't stay long, Faye. Its time for you to move on now."

"No.. I don't want to! I have no idea what to do now! I only followed you around because.. because… " She broke off… eyes filling with new tears.

Its smile was soft as ever, and its hands seemed to pull her closer. "I am not really Spike. I am just a faded vision of him. He has done what he wanted to do with his life. He is ready to go. But I want to tell you that you DO have something to do, Faye. You have someone to look out for."

Crying, she put her head to its chest, and took in a deep intake of air, smelling him, savoring this closeness and feeling of him. "I rather die with you Spike. Take me with you."

After sometime, Its hands grabbed her shoulders and drew her back, leaning down closer… Faye could hear his breathing, and smell his hair… "Watch over Jet. He's needing someone… you."

She could barely speak, and quietly it put its lips over hers…. But then it was gone.

"…..you."

"Faye?"

She was covered by a jacket, laying on the couch in the main room. A man was sitting next to her… it was his jacket, she could tell. His eyes were focused on her, watching her with concern. Quietly he said her name again.

"Faye? You fainted.. Faye?"

"Yea.. I hear you.." She uttered, her body feeling very worn and dizzy as she sat up. In her mind she could still hear his voice calling to her.. Telling her things… Her hand raised and touched her hair, looking at Jet with a melancholy expression. He sighed, turning so he faced outwards once more. He looked almost pitiful there, so lost and lonely like a little boy who lost his best friend.

But then… he was. He had lost is friend and ally, his partner. What was he to do now?

"Love each other."

Faye pulled the jacket over her shoulders, snuggling in the softness of it. It was a little ironic, that such a soft cloth belonged to such a hard dog. Jet lit up a cigarette, took a long drag and offered it to her. With a shaky hand, she took it.

"You scared me." He said under his breath, smoke coming from his mouth and nostrils, his eyes still locked on the floor. "You were standing there, then zoom. You were almost on the floor."

"You caught me." Faye stated, taking a drag from the stick.

Nodding, he looked up. "Maybe it was the shock. Ya know."

It was silent again for a few moments as Faye sucked back on the cig. She handed it back to Jet, her hands tucking under his jacket once more. It smelt differently from Spike's. Stronger, more potent. The cigarette smell was more like a cigar. It was comforting.

Maybe he needs me more than I thought.

"I can't believe it really… " His voice cut through the icy silence. "That he's gone."

Faye looked at Jet's face, seeing it for the first time almost. The sheer rugged looks and his scowl was nothing now. He was Jet Black. A normal person. Not an ex-cop or a bounty hunter. He looked so sad…

Her hand reached out and gently touched his shoulder, and she leaned on him… her body pressed against his back… He didn't move to her touch or movement. He looked to his side, and there, her head rested on his shoulder.. Her chin felt the cold metal of his arm, but then, it didn't even feel that cold. He was warm.

"He'd not want us to be so upset. " She found the voice to say that, her head turning and her cheek now on his shoulder. It was strange how perfect she felt there. "It hurts. But he needs to be let go. Right?"

Jet was silent for sometime. He was pondering something very deeply, and his eyes closed a few times. "You remind me of him a lot, you know."

Faye turned and looked at him once more. "Do I?"

"Yes. You both drive me up the wall."

A faint smile, the first one in a long time, came to her ruby lips. On his back, her hand rubbed him gently, and she closed her eyes as she sat there, pressed against him. "You'll just have to live with it."

"I can. I will."

"Love each other."

We will Spike. Just wait.

-Fin-

R&R please…. Please??? Awww, come on!!! *begs*